caumad
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A Dummy's Guide To First Time Parenting by caumad
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
01 Sep 2025
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Summary
Chuuya’s head snapped towards the door just as it swung open to reveal Dazai Osamu himself. His hair was slightly damp from the summer rain, his shirt clinging wetly to the broad expanse of his shoulders, but clutched to his chest, almost miraculously dry in the face of it all, was a small bundle of pink blankets.
Blankets that, on closer inspection, seemed to be grabbing right back onto him, a handful of the brunette's damp dress shirt fabric clenched in an equally pink little fist.
“Hi, honey, I’m home!”
“That’s a baby.” Chuuya sputtered.
“Nope. It’s actually a teeny tiny elephant. Can’t you tell? Look at her trunk.” He tapped the infant’s nose for good measure, and given the fact she didn’t spontaneously disappear, there went any and all of Chuuya’s hope that this was just some Ability created illusion.
“But what are you doing with a baby? What happened to the meeting you were supposed to go to? Did you find anything out about our mission?”
“Ohh, right. I almost forgot. Chibi, meet the mission.”
OR
After escaping Meursault, Dazai and Chuuya are assigned a new mission in the form of a 6 month old baby. They decide it's in the mission's best interest to move in together.
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Summary
“I would’ve gone with you, you know. If you’d asked me to.”
Chuuya glanced lazily over at the brunette, but Dazai’s eyes were closed, his breathing deep and even.
The shorter man let a quiet sigh flutter past his lips. Of course the bastard had fallen asleep again. He just didn’t appreciate good cinema.
Chuuya rolled his eyes as he reached for the TV remote to turn the movie off.
“I know.” A voice suddenly breathed into the heavy air, so soft Chuuya almost didn’t hear it over the steady thrum of TV static. His eyes snapped back to Dazai’s, which were open now and clouded over like the sky before a rainstorm. “I know. I just— I couldn’t, so I…” He trailed off again.
It wasn’t in Dazai’s nature to apologise but that was probably as close as Chuuya was gonna get. The worst part was that he understood it all already; he knew leaving the mafia had torn Dazai in two, but knowing didn’t make it hurt any less.
“Yeah, I know.”
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OR
Dazai makes it out of Meursault alive, but not exactly unscathed. He tries to adjust to civilian life with its civilian setbacks while struggling to navigate the newly awkward relationship with his oldest friend and enemy, Chuuya Nakahara.
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Tags
Summary
“I would’ve gone with you, you know. If you’d asked me to.”
Chuuya glanced lazily over at the brunette, but Dazai’s eyes were closed, his breathing deep and even.
The shorter man let a quiet sigh flutter past his lips. Of course the bastard had fallen asleep again. He just didn’t appreciate good cinema.
Chuuya rolled his eyes as he reached for the TV remote to turn the movie off.
“I know.” A voice suddenly breathed into the heavy air, so soft Chuuya almost didn’t hear it over the steady thrum of TV static. His eyes snapped back to Dazai’s, which were open now and clouded over like the sky before a rainstorm. “I know. I just— I couldn’t, so I…” He trailed off again.
It wasn’t in Dazai’s nature to apologise but that was probably as close as Chuuya was gonna get. The worst part was that he understood it all already; he knew leaving the mafia had torn Dazai in two, but knowing didn’t make it hurt any less.
“Yeah, I know.”
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OR
Dazai makes it out of Meursault alive, but not exactly unscathed. He tries to adjust to civilian life with its civilian setbacks while struggling to navigate the newly awkward relationship with his oldest friend and enemy, Chuuya.
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Tags
Summary
Dazai Osamu opened her heavy eyes.
The overhead lights were painfully bright, and burned a soft violet as they buzzed in the same way that all cheap fluorescents did. Her head felt like cotton wool, and her eyes burned with sensitivity and exhaustion, but Dazai Osamu was – very much – still alive.
Shit.
"I see you're finally awake." Called a voice from the shadows. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Miss Osamu. My name is Mori Ougai."
*Shit.*
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OR
My fem!Dazai AU (3rd times the charm frfr)