7 Works by drunkkidd
Listing Works
-
Tags
Summary
Dazai doesn't have a problem with eating.
He just doesn't like it very much.
The Agency disagrees, but they don't know his habits like he does.
Series
- Part 1 of bsd is my suffering sandbox
-
Tags
Summary
Dazai sees the way Kunikida stares.
He sees the way Yosano keeps an almost obsessive record of her medicines and bandages, razors and scalpels.
He sees the way Atsushi has begun to turn his head as Dazai walks in, eyes always lingering on the bandages wrapped around his wrists and burning into the skin under.
He feels Ranpo's burning gaze, making his skin itch and burn as if there were a thousand ants crawling under his skin.
He sees Kyoka's too dark, too knowing eyes that bore into his chest till he is certain she has seen all his jagged edges and the void within him.
He sees the receptionists' careful actions, apprehensive words.
He feels the president's heavy, prodding gaze.
He fears.
They see too much, too clearly.
Series
- Part 2 of bsd is my suffering sandbox
-
Tags
Summary
Sometimes, death is a greater mercy than life can ever provide. You cannot save everyone, especially if they do not want to be saved. If someone's life only served to grind them to dust, by saving their life, are you really doing the right thing?
Dazai's latest suicide attempt brings him closer to death than ever before; Kunikida is the poor fool who has to drag him back to life.
--
Chapters 1 and 2 are describing the same event, simply from Dazai's POV and then Kunikida's POV.
Series
- Part 3 of bsd is my suffering sandbox
-
Tags
Summary
“I…No, it's fine.” A sigh. “I guess I don't actually want to send it to them. I think I just wanted to use the excuse of a letter…to let out everything I couldn't bear to say to them face to face. That's all.”
As if able to sense Dazai's confusion, Odasaku begins to elaborate. “It's like buried feelings, or things I'd never truly admit to them; things I'd never really be able to muster the courage to tell them, through speech or otherwise. The letter is meant to hold these feelings and words for me, so they can stop weighing on my mind. In a way, I'm letting these things go.”
--
Maybe Odasaku lied, because writing all those letters didn’t help with his heaviness at all. It only made him sick with regret. It only forced him into periods of obsessive writing, editing, rewriting, scrapping… It only served to eat him whole. But for some reason, Dazai couldn’t stop. It didn’t matter, anyways. Dazai had been a dead man, a ghost, these four years, so why did it matter if he’d wasted away toiling over letters to a fellow ghost? It didn’t matter at all.
Series
- Part 4 of bsd is my suffering sandbox
-
Tags
Summary
I know he can see me. I know he’ll catch me. It is only a matter of time.
There is no hope. There is no escape.
The Blood God destroys all, and once he begins to hunt you, you won’t make it out alive.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 920
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 2
- Hits:
- 9
-
Tags
Summary
There was a time where Chuuya had nothing. No memories, no people, he couldn’t even say with certainty he had a soul. Back then, something in him burned. It yearned for air, it yearned for fuel, it yearned and yearned and yearned. He wanted someone to trust. He wanted someone to love.
He learns better than to expect it.
---
Nowadays, Chuuya loves high places.
Beyond love, beyond life, beyond need, Chuuya has grown to seek freedom.
Dazai leads him home.
Series
- Part 5 of bsd is my suffering sandbox
-
Tags
Summary
Post fall, Will has been distant but amicable enough, and Hannibal believes he just needs time to settle. Hannibal is smitten, obviously, and eager to start a new life with Will. Everything seems to be going well, with the exception of the last roadblock of Will remaining distant and closed off. Still, they spend a lot of time together, and Hannibal truly believes Will feels affection for him, and especially after their first kill together and Will’s choice to stay with him, Hannibal feels emboldened by all this to actually express his affection for Will in more overt, explicit ways.
He tells Will he loves him. It doesn't go as planned.
--
“I love you.”
(...)
"Will. Believe me."
“I don't."