exaltedsam
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Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.
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Sam seems really invested in Dean and Cas, and Dean for the life of him can't figure out why. Sam, on the other hand, is just trying to learn how to feel.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,075
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 20
- Kudos:
- 456
- Bookmarks:
- 38
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Bookmarked by exaltedsam
16 May 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
there’s nothing better than when writers Get sam 🫡
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Summary
Inside his cracked chest, his heart is on fire.
Castiel can feel the heat of it licking his fingertips. His throat is full of smoke. Whatever is inside of him is boiling over. It’s odd, he thinks, as it breaks him into pieces and scatters him throughout the air, that he can feel it at all. He’s not meant to feel anything anymore.
He’s meant to be dead.
Bookmarked by exaltedsam
06 Apr 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
“He should have known. Death never sticks when it comes to Castiel, but love always has.”
I literally don’t have the words to explain how this made me feel but I am going to be thinking about it for weeks
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“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.
The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.
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In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.
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Summary
For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.
It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,190
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 319
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Bookmarked by exaltedsam
20 Mar 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
Cas’ issues with belonging oh heaven help me