exrsbws



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is heavier than he used to be; his weight bears down on Ilya in a new way. He’s put on pounds of muscle since Ilya last touched him like this. Ilya flattens his palms, skims them under Shane’s undershirt, feels the flat solidity of his abs, the bulk of his lats, the swell of his chest. It’s the same and it’s new, this body; it’s the boy he couldn’t stop thinking about when he was 18 and the man he loved enough to let go at 26 and the person who somehow always comes to find him when he’s lost.

    A stranger, and the love of his life.

     

    or, Ilya's father doesn't die in 2017; Ilya breaks up with Shane instead of confessing his love. They get older, but not any less stupid about each other. Shane gets a boyfriend; Ilya gets on medication; they work on becoming whole people. And they always find their way back to each other.

    OR a story for those who love Shane and Ilya's baby love but ALSO think it's hot when people in their thirties make active choices about who they are and what they want in their partner!!

    Note: the "cheating" tag refers to the relationship between Shane and his aforementioned BF, not to Shane and Ilya cheating on each other.

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    12 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    so fire

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “The doctor said it’s retrograde amnesia. He doesn’t remember the game, or . . . any of the last few years, really. He remembers his draft, but not World Juniors the next year, so . . .” Pike shrugs helplessly.

    Mind racing, Ilya thinks through the math. Their second World Juniors had been in 2009, 8 years ago. That’s 8 years—or more—of Shane’s life, of Ilya’s role in it, just gone. 8 years of teasing texts and hotel room hookups, tuna melts and Tampa and 'I don’t think I can keep pretending I don’t like you anymore.'

    Blyat.

    . . .

    When Marleau's hit leaves Shane missing his memory of the last 8 years, Ilya chooses to walk away. After Shane unexpectedly trades to the Ottawa Centaurs three years later, they are thrust back into each other's lives. Ilya struggles against his feelings that never disappeared. And Shane? He's confused about why so many things about Ilya Rozanov, his years-long rival, feel so familiar...

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    10 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “I mean, you— you say I’m perfect. That it’s, that everything we do together is… is perfect.”

    Yes, perfect,” Ilya says adamantly.

    “Okay. But. I mean. I like feedback, you know. If there are things you haven’t said because you don’t want to hurt my feelings, you could say. If there’s any judgement of my technique, like, that you’ve been doing silently in your head.”

    “I never judge you silently,” Ilya says. He pulls back a bit, twisting his neck so he can look Shane in the eye, frowning. “I judge you loudly. Is no fun if I don’t see your reaction.”

    “Ha, ha.”

    “Shane,” Ilya says. “Is this real worry you are having? I must know. You think I have… criticism of you, of sex with you? You think it is not perfect for me?”

    ---

    Shane and Ilya navigate their sexual relationship, now that they're finally a couple.

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    09 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “You are planning to rob me or what?” He hears Rozanov call, and he can’t help but smile slightly even as he rolls his eyes, closing the door to the linen closet and feeling strangely lighter than when he opened it, reassured that he’s just trying to read into a blank page, that today doesn’t mean anything more than Rozanov doesn’t mind him being around, which is strangely flattering.

    “I don’t know,” he calls back. “Don’t Russians like diamonds and fur and stuff? Where should I start looking if I want to know what my options are?”

    He hears Rozanov laugh, and it makes him smile.

    When he joins him in the living room once more, Rozanov tugs him down to lean against him again. Shane goes easier this time, settling into it, knowing it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that he just happens to be the closest warm body, the person on Rozanov’s roster who filled today’s slot.

    (the tuna meltdown doesn't happen) (this does not mean they get ANY better at communication)

    (or: how shane didn't realize he had a boyfriend for several months)

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    08 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 58

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    Does it count as Shane Hollander walking Ilya like a dog if Ilya buckles the collar on himself and hands Hollander the leash?

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    03 May 2026