faunium
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Summary
Harry Potter is trying to get his life back on track after the war: stable job, decent flat, untolerable coffee.
Draco Malfoy has just returned to London after years abroad, insists on meeting for coffee, and seems… oddly familiar.
Somehow, this turns into dinners, photo albums, awkward conversations with Narcissa Malfoy, and the growing suspicion that Harry and Draco might already be in a relationship.
A story about second chances, memory, and falling in love when you least expect it.
Draco says it’s fine.
Draco says he can fix it. -
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Magnus is the golden child. Magnus is the perfect Malfoy. Magnus is everything Lucius had ever wanted in a child and more, because Magnus is simply better than anyone else.
Everyone thinks Draco is going to be another Magnus.
Perfect. Polished. Predictable.Instead, he gets two detentions in the first week of his First Year, simply to prove them wrong.
or,
What if...
- Draco had an older brother? mixed with,
- Draco became a genius inventor just because Lucius never loved him?Does it makes sense? Not at all :P
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Draco Malfoy doesn’t believe in healing. Not really. He believes in muscle memory, in silence, in doing his job until there’s nothing left of him to do it.
By night, he works the trauma ward at St. Mungo’s—lead senior resident, spell-slinger, ghost in white robes. By day, he studies medicine in a Muggle university across town, feeding some unnamed, bottomless guilt. He has no weekends. No friends outside the ER. No one who asks if he’s okay.
Then Harry Potter starts showing up again.
Bleeding. Smiling. Bleeding more.It’s always the ER. It’s always Draco who fixes him.
The staff call it routine. Draco knows better. This is how things start breaking.And maybe, if he’s not careful—how things might finally begin to mend.
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It’s Draco Malfoy’s third year at Hogwarts, and things were supposed to be simple: avoid cursed portraits, outgrow his childhood nemesis phase with Harry Potter, and maybe recover from the small breakdown he had last year.
Instead, his summer is interrupted by:
- a convicted murderer showing up in his kitchen (with a wet sock for a weapon),
- Tonks, who absolutely isn’t telling the Ministry what’s going on,
- and a talking pomeranian named Snuffles.
Between new secrets, old family curses, and the world’s most illegal dog, Draco’s going to need more than tea and sarcasm to survive the school year.
Gods above and underground, why has this become his life?
Series
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Draco Malfoy’s Guide to Curses, Courtship, and Losing Your Mind by faunium
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
30 May 2025
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Summary
Disowned at twelve, cursed by ancient blood, and stuck in a crumbling house with only his loud-mouthed cousin, a haunted library, and an overly chatty portrait for company—Draco Malfoy’s summer isn’t going to plan.
Now second year looms, and he’s taking the madness with him.
Between unraveling the origins of the Black family curse, dodging whispers in Diagon Alley, and pretending not to notice Harry Potter watching him like he’s a riddle worth solving, Draco has one goal: survive the year without losing his mind.
Literally.
Series
Recent series
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Magically Deranged: A Memoir Series by Draco Malfoy by faunium
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
05 Jun 2025
- Words:
- 85,393
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 78
Recent bookmarks
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Draco Malfoy, the Boy Who Lived by Tessa Crowley (tessacrowley)
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
10 Feb 2026
Summary
A very long time ago, someone who was meant to die lived—and someone else, who was meant to live, died.
Nearly a century later, Draco Malfoy becomes the Boy Who Lived.
- Words:
- 222,691
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 165