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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Jane (21:23): Come over?

    Ilya stared at the message. Rage swirled in his stomach - that Shane would run out on him like that, spend the next two months shoving his fucking girlfriend in Ilya’s face, and then text him like none of that had happened. Like none of it mattered.

    Mixed in with the anger, though, and threatening to overwhelm it, was the hot burn of shame. Because Ilya was already texting back okay and putting on his shoes. Because he was fucking pathetic, and couldn’t resist.

    ~

    instead of going to the club during episode 4, shane goes back to his apartment. then he texts ilya.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,862
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    1,415
    Bookmarks:
    252
    Hits:
    9,070

    02 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “How fast were you driving?” Shane asked.

    Ilya groaned, rolling his eyes. “A normal speed.”

    “You can’t have been driving a normal speed. I was driving at a normal speed, and you beat me here.”

    “Yes, second time tonight I beat you.”

    Shane glared at him, but went and opened his front door anyway. As soon as it clicked shut, Ilya was pressing him up against the wall, his mouth on Shane’s neck.

    ~~

    or: they got through the immediate storm of ilya being outed. now shane must learn to be a little bit braver, and ilya must learn to talk a little more

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,371
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    135
    Kudos:
    3,168
    Bookmarks:
    296
    Hits:
    13,862

    29 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    When a brutal on-ice accident nearly claims Shane's life in front of 20,000 fans, Ilya's carefully guarded world shatters. He can't hold Shane's hand in the ambulance. Can't claim his as family in the hospital. The fear of losing the man he loves forces Ilya to make a choice. Keep hiding, or risk everything?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,381
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    91
    Kudos:
    1,263
    Bookmarks:
    332
    Hits:
    19,941

    28 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 43

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    I’m smart in Russian. It fucking pisses me off—I sound like a toddler in English. The language simultaneously makes no fucking sense and is pathetically boring. It has no complexity, no richness, no nuance. It’s impossible to create the same layers of thought in English that I can in Russian. It’s as if I am trapped inside myself and can only use a megaphone held by a third grader to speak with him.

    I want to say things to him that make no sense in English but would make him melt in Russian. My mother used to read poems by Pushkin to me when she tucked me in, and I want to read them to him, but every translation I find is fucking dull and stupid. He won’t even let me call him my “lover” because English has ruined that word. I hate English.

    Or, Ilya tries to use poetry to get better at English.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,618
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    211
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    1,625

    27 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya is sipping a cappuccino and watching Shane do very perverted yoga when he realizes that he doesn’t want to die.

    It’s a dumb series of thoughts. He sees Shane bend over, neatly folding himself into a hunchback as his hands flatten by his feet, and Ilya thinks, I bet he’s going to love it when we’re old and grey and he can outrace me with my stupid hip replacement. And then he realizes that not only does he anticipate being old and grey enough to need a hip replacement, but that he actually wants to get there.

    -

    Or: the existential crisis that happens when you’ve been depressed your whole life and then realize, suddenly, in your thirties, that you’re happy enough with your life that you no longer want to die.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,619
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    91
    Kudos:
    1,245
    Bookmarks:
    249
    Hits:
    5,621

    22 Jan 2026