jhwatson
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The next few weeks are a blur of constant drinking, reckless pillaging, raiding and maiming.
He doesn't care what happens, he'll do anything to keep his mind busy. The famed pirate Blackbeard unleashing the Kraken and becoming more blood thirsty and infamous as the days go by, spending them in a squalor of blood, sweat, dirt and grime.
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the sun has a wonderfully glorious habit of rising every morning by CartoonMayor
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
23 May 2025
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Stede gets lost on a hike in the mountains. Just when he thinks he might not make it, he discovers a house occupied by a beautiful, naked man watching the sunset. Ed saves him from peril and then saves him in other ways.
Series
- Part 9 of Smutty Gentlebeard not-quite-one shots
Bookmarked by jhwatson
24 May 2025
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Ed crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged, casual. “It’s just bodies, Stede. They’re weird. They do stuff sometimes.”
Stede peered up at him cautiously. “Yeah?”
“What, you think you’re the first person who’s ever gotten a boner during a physical?” Ed scoffed. “Hate to break it to you, but you’re not special.”
Granted, no one Ed had treated had ever had an orgasm while Ed’s finger was still inside them but that was neither here nor there.
**
Stede comes in for his annual prostate exam. Things do not go as planned.
Based on that tweet that's like "if y'all having a bad day just letting y'all know my co-worker got his prostate exam and when the doc touched his prostate he nutted immediately and fell down knocking over some equipment"
Bookmarked by jhwatson
10 May 2025
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The true history:
The Pacific Clipper was a Pan American Airlines scheduled commercial flight from San Francisco, California, to Auckland, New Zealand that operated from 1939 to 1941. All tickets were first class and cost around $15,000 in 2024 US dollars; passengers ate five course meals prepared by chefs from four star restaurants. From December 1941 to January 1942, the Pacific Clipper completed an unplanned nearly around-the-world flight: the first commercial circumnavigation of the globe. Oh, also, there is an actual historical guy referred to as ‘the Swede’ who was the First Engineer on the crew.The Our Flag Means Death version:
Our crew:
Captain Stede Bonnet
First Officer Frenchie
Second Officer/Navigator Buttons
Third Officer Wee John Feeney
Fourth Officer Archie
First Engineer The Swede
Second Engineer Pete
First Radio Officer Edward Teach
Second Radio Officer Jim Jimenez
Radio Operator Oluwande Boodhari
Purser Roach
Asst Purser Lucius Spriggs- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,421
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 617
- Kudos:
- 301
- Bookmarks:
- 114
- Hits:
- 6,749
Bookmarked by jhwatson
28 Apr 2025
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“That one with the leather and the hair, he’s getting cast for sure.”
“Oh, yeah. Doesn’t even matter if you can actually bake, when you look like that!”
“He’ll be this year’s Chigs, or Sandro. Everyone’s flavor, you know?”When Ed Teach gets cast on The Great British Bake Off, he understands the assignment. Look hot on camera, banter with the judges, bake memorable shit.
He isn’t there to make trouble. He isn't there to make friends.
And he certainly isn’t there to fall in love with fellow baker Stede Bonnet.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 105,522
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2,958
- Kudos:
- 691
- Bookmarks:
- 166
- Hits:
- 19,095
Bookmarked by jhwatson
23 Jan 2025
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So there Ed is, in this enormous room all decked out in ivory and gold, surrounded by one-percenters and inherited wealth and fucking caviar. And he sits under a canopy of twinkling crystals, and he plays his mood music, and the room slowly fills.
And the bride and groom are nowhere to be seen.
Ed’s starting to feel more and more like a member of the string quartet playing out the sinking of the fucking Titanic.
(Or: Ed's the harpist at a swanky wedding that's gone south. Stede's got his own problems. A one-night fastburn meet-cute: fluff, humour, eventual smut, and a truly obscene description of caviar)
Bookmarked by jhwatson
30 Nov 2024