laikus
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Summary
He knows better. He knows that expectations, bound by duty and honour, coated in bloodshed, won’t allow him to act on selfish desires. But when Draco meets his daughter’s teacher, everything shifts. He knows what he wants.
And he’s determined to get her.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 194,413
- Chapters:
- 29/29
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 3,031
- Kudos:
- 3,833
- Bookmarks:
- 1,622
- Hits:
- 225,886
Bookmarked by laikus
13 Mar 2026
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Summary
"Hermione still isn’t quite sure how it happened. Or why she can’t bring herself to stop. She suspects they’re breaking at least a hundred St. Mungo’s rules, not to mention healer-patient ethical protocol. But there is something about Draco Malfoy that gets under her skin, steals her logic and reduces her to pure instinct. And her instincts are screaming that he should be inside her, preferably with his hands around her throat.”
Draco Malfoy makes Hermione's job in the Emergency Ward very difficult. Especially since she started shagging him. In the hospital. Often. (Healer!Hermione/Vigilante!Draco AU).
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,868
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 294
- Kudos:
- 2,814
- Bookmarks:
- 1,057
- Hits:
- 84,961
Bookmarked by laikus
26 Feb 2026
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,388
- Kudos:
- 30,078
- Bookmarks:
- 11,945
- Hits:
- 1,798,573
Bookmarked by laikus
24 Feb 2026
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Summary
This is a story about redemption and forgiveness, regret and hope. It's also a story about how Hermione Granger suddenly reappeared in Draco Malfoy's peaceful, muggle-ish life, with the subtlety of a bludger to the face.
Bookmarked by laikus
16 Feb 2026
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Tea Towels and Other Weapons of Courtship by sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 Apr 2025
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Summary
Draco Malfoy thinks he's courting Hermione Granger.
Hermione Granger thinks Draco Malfoy is experiencing a very slow, very polite breakdown.
Nothing about this is graceful.
They're both doing it anyway.Expect:
-missed signals
-disaster courtship rituals
-deeply amused Slytherins
-Ginny Weasley gives dating advice
-a tea towel that counts as an act of war
-"this is fine" energy
-Hermione Granger, missing every signal
-Draco Malfoy, sending them like distress signals from a sinking ship
-nothing, absolutely nothing, remotely gracefulChallenge: April Showers Bring May Flowers
Aster:
Patience, elegance
Required Tag: Cultural Misunderstandings or Slow Burn- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 109
- Kudos:
- 1,260
- Bookmarks:
- 351
- Hits:
- 15,585
Bookmarked by laikus
06 Feb 2026