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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya knows there is a thing about himself he has to always keep hidden in the deepest recesses of his body, behind his molars and in his core. He thinks Shane Hollander might be the same, except the thing about him he cannot hide.

    Ilya Rozanov is the biggest hockey talent of his generation. So is Shane Hollander.

    But over the years Ilya notices that the vicious media and the clamouring fans and some of his more foul-mouthed teammates treat Hollander differently than any other hockey player.

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    15 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Women flock to Rozanov; he’s the gravitational centre in every room. Shane gets it. He’s felt it, the shark pull of his orbit. He’s been swallowed up into the belly of desire. What he doesn’t get is how easy it is for Rozanov. Even with Shane’s teammates pooled around him on the dance floor his hands get clammy when a girl in a sequined skirt makes a move on him. Shane used to think maybe he was just awkward; maybe he needed a couple of beers in him to loosen up, but he couldn’t do that during the season.

    Then Ilya Rozanov kissed him and the craving was so clear in Shane’s mind he was able to visualise every sharp edge of it, and he knew he wanted to be on his knees.

    2013. It’s been two years since he and Rozanov hooked up in Nashville and exchanged phone numbers. It’s a month till Boston comes to Montreal and Rozanov’s promise of ‘next time’ could go into fulfilment. Shane Hollander wants to play hockey. He wants to play it well. The other thing is a thing he cannot allow himself to want.

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    15 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “What is grailed dot com?” Shane reads out loud from the computer screen.

    “How have you spent almost fifty grand on it in the last year?”

    Ilya doesn’t reply.

    “Is it a-” it’s like Ilya can hear the gears turning in Shane’s head, “Is it a porn website?”

    Ilya laughs lightly, endeared by Shane's choice of words, “As if you would know.”

    “Fuck you, I’ve watched porn.”

    Ilya turns to face him, a look of pleased incredulity painted on his features. He watches as Shane processes what he just said and then shakes his head as if to rid himself of the trance. Shane both hates and loves these moments when Ilya gets him to say ludicrous things in his own defense. As if he even needs to defend himself.

    Shane and Ilya talk about personal finance, porn and they are in love.

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    14 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    So Shane Hollander is, how do you say in English, a dirty little thief. A clothing thief, to be precise. Ilya can't say he saw that coming, but he also can't pretend he's all that mad about it.

    His shirt looks good on his Shane. On Shane. On Hollander.

    Right. His shirt looks good on Hollander.

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    14 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    "You are Hunter's boyfriend," the guy says, looming. He's holding a glass of vodka that probably costs more than what Kip earns in a day.

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    14 Jan 2026