littlestmilkyway



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    Bryan never thought he and Michelle would break up because “she wanted to fuck him.”

    So, on one particularly drunk, high, and spectacularly judgment-impaired night, he decides it’s finally time to face his fears. He buys the cheapest dildo he can find, a bottle of lube, and sets out to save his ten-year relationship.

    What he doesn’t expect is for his roommate to get off work early while he’s unlocked in the bathroom, fighting for his life against that fucking purple dildo.

    Language:
    English
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    44,507
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    6/7
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    17 Oct 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    "Sorry for trying to kill you, but it wouldn't have worked, anyway. There's no ammo in this thing, and I'm running low on this one.”

    Bryan nearly gives Leon a heart attack when he lifts his shirt and shows a haphazardly stuffed handgun that's sticking out of the waistband of his jeans.

    “Don't put that there,” Leon says hurriedly, willing his heart to calm down. He keeps imagining the horror of it going off and blowing clean through Bryan's femur. “And - hey, wait. That's a standard glock that's issued to all American officers. Did you steal that?”

    Bryan at least has the decency to blush in embarrassment as he hastily shoves the hem of his shirt back down.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,182
    Chapters:
    28/60
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    14 Oct 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Bryan Hodukavich doesn't want to meet his soulmate. The words on his wrist aren't many, but they're more than enough to give him an idea of just how disappointed his soulmate will be when they finally meet.

    Leon S. Kennedy becomes a cop for many reasons. One of them is to put his soulmate behind bars, because somehow, it feels like his responsibility. After all, whoever they are, they're a monster.

    Or: The first words your soulmate will ever say to you are written somewhere on your skin.

    Or: Bryan and Leon need a zombie apocalypse to make the idea of meeting their soulmate feel less like torture and more like hope.

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,873
    Chapters:
    4/?
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    11 Oct 2026