louist
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It’s simple. When she doesn’t know how to do something, she learns. When she can’t figure something out, she researches. When she isn’t good at something, she practices. When she still doesn’t understand something, she consults an instructor.
Twenty-seven years old and still a virgin, Hermione decides it’s time to employ someone to teach her the ins and outs of sex.
It isn’t because she thinks he’s particularly handsome, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the way the bar lights gleam fire in his blond hair. And it certainly isn’t because she suspects Draco Malfoy might be some kind of sex god. No, he’s just there, sitting at the barstool next to her, and in that heartbeat Hermione finds herself brave enough to ask...
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“Jesus,” he blurted. “What—?”
“Sorry, sorry,” she interrupted, closing her eyes and pressing a hand to her forehead. “I just…sorry, give me a second to clear my head.”
She refused to explain why the first thing he’d seen when entering her mind was a rather vivid recollection of her last masturbation session. How embarrassing. She thought about walking in a forest – the least sexy thing she could think of – and then doubled down by picturing herself in the Quidditch stands at Hogwarts. In the rain. In January.
“Okay.” She exhaled and met his eyes again. “Okay, it’s safe now. Go ahead.”
He looked dubious but raised his wand and spoke the incantation again.
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Or, Hermione can't remember an important piece of intel and so Draco is assigned to help find it.
Series
- Part 1 of Try Not To Come
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"On a scale of one to ten, how comfortable would you say you are with me physically?" she asked.
"Zero."
Hermione's lips pursed in annoyance because she really should have seen that coming. How charming that the extent of his arseholery could still surprise her.In which Hermione is determined to find a loophole to free her from a forced marriage with Draco Malfoy. But with only two weeks until they are legally required to consummate, it would be irresponsible not to prepare for every contingency.
Series
- Part 1 of Ten out of Ten and Counting
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 61,559
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 51
- Comments:
- 2,341
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- 23,396
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Bookmarked by louist
06 Dec 2025
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Granger,
Why does everyone think we’re dating?
–DracoI’m handling it.
–HermioneThat doesn’t answer my question.
Hermione starts a rumour, and Draco winds up with a pretend girlfriend. And when they break up, they can't help but get back together again, and again, and again.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,903
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 135
- Kudos:
- 4,419
- Bookmarks:
- 803
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- 43,046
Bookmarked by louist
09 Nov 2025
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Summary
Draco has a plan. Hermione has a problem.
Hogwarts’ first post-war Head Boy and Head Girl are going to have to work all their issues out.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,625
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 254
- Kudos:
- 5,518
- Bookmarks:
- 1,170
- Hits:
- 107,644
Bookmarked by louist
04 Nov 2025