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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is still adjusting to being out. He’s trying, he really is. But he’s still very protective of what they have.

    (Or: 5 times Shane feels embarrassment when the Centaurs find out something about their sex life and the time he stops caring.)

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    18 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    "There will be a pinch. Remember when you were two months old, and four months old, and you had to get shots? It will be like that."

    Sonya didn't respond. She probably was feeling betrayed.

    "It only hurts for a little bit," Ilya said. "And then you will get a little bit stronger, because of it."

    Sonya looked up at him with her big, brown eyes, seemingly unconvinced. She was adopted, but Ilya could've sworn she'd gotten her eyes from Shane. At the minimum, he must have at least taught her how to use them to tug at Ilya's heartstrings.

    "I will get you something sweet after, if you are brave."

    Ilya takes his and Shane's six-month-old daughter to the pediatrician for a checkup and vaccines.

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    18 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane wasn't looking back at him. He assumed that Ilya would be paying attention to the game, not its spectators. Sofia was sat upright in his lap. He was moving her back and forth to follow the puck. Ilya could see his mouth moving, even at this distance- no doubt he was explaining the rules to her infant ears. Hockey would be her first language.

    Sofia was more interested in the person holding her than the game. She tipped her little head back, back, back until she was looking up at her dad. The two of them smiled, and then Shane leaned down ever so slightly.

    He was brushing their noses together in the softest little nuzzle Ilya had ever seen. When he was done, Shane pressed a kiss onto her forehead.

    At twenty-three, Shane Hollander was convinced that life after hockey would be empty. He couldn't imagine a world where he'd be completely happy without the focus and drive that came with playing a professional sport.

    By thirty-seven, Shane was convinced that life after hockey was better. Who needed skates and sticks when your daughter was looking up at you with such a perfect, tiny smile, and your husband was winning games for all three of you?

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    18 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "No m'not," Shane said, somehow pressing his face even more into Ilya's body. "All I ever did was play hockey. Now, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I hope we have a baby soon."

    The car went quiet at that. When Shane looked up, Ilya was looking out the window, jaw set.

    "S' something wrong?" Shane asked. He ran his fingertips along the warm skin of Ilya's forearm.

    Ilya turned back to face him, expression softened. Whatever pensiveness had taken hold of him was gone.

    "No. Everything is perfect."

    After sixteen seasons of professional hockey, Shane Hollander retires from the NHL in the interest of starting a family with his loving husband. It's maybe a little earlier than he would've liked, but with his thirty-five year old knees beginning to protest, it makes sense.

    He's happy. He and Ilya have been working towards this for nearly a decade.

    He's also terrified, wondering if this is the biggest mistake of his life, and thinking that maybe he should take it all back. But mostly, he's happy.

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    17 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    "It was nothing, Ilya. Don't worry about it."

    "Ah," Ilya said, and something like understanding crossed his face. "Was about us, then."

    Shane pressed his forehead to Ilya's neck. Of course Shane couldn't just slip this by, of course he would be figured out. He wrapped Ilya up in a hug and moved his hand up and down his back, in a way that he hoped said it doesn't matter.

    "He just–after he checked me, I called him a dick, and then he said I'd need my big scary Russian husband to protect me. And then he called you a name, and…"

    Shane didn't know how to finish that sentence, so he let it trail off. And it felt so unfair. And I got more angry than I had any reason to. And I hate that I can't go one game without my sex life being brought up in some way. And it's happened a million other times, so why should I have cared on this one specific occasion?

    Over the course of the first half of his fifth season on the Centaurs, Shane considers retirement, homophobia, his public life, family, and his legacy. He also gets a tooth knocked out, visits the beach, and is repeatedly pissed off by how hot his husband is.

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    17 Jan 2026