not_a_functioning_human_being



Recent works

Recent series

  1. Sanders Sides One Shots by

    Fandom Sanders Sides (Web Series)

    06 Dec 2020

    Words:
    25,895
    Works:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 5

    Dead on Delaware Ave by

    Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)  

    22 Dec 2025

    Tags
    Summary

    Before the collapse, Midoriya was a soon-to-be-doctor at the University of Buffalo alongside his best friend. After the collapse, he's built something resembling home alongside a handful of eccentric acquaintances. His friend is gone. So is the life he planned. When supplies run short, they need to move. And winter is closing in.

    Enter Bakugo and his crew: a mismatched group of strangers turned zombie hunters, who rescue Midoriya's group on a botched supply run. Skeptical of one another, but equally impressed, Izuku and Katsuki forge a pact. Their groups will combine their manpower to prepare to flee the city. Permanently.

    They all get what they need, but of course there's a catch - disturbing the dead tends to catch the attention of the living. And the living are just as hungry.

    (I was homesick for Buffalo NY and this was the result. Yes, you can follow their routes on maps. Enjoy.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,010
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    115
    Bookmarked by not_a_functioning_human_being

    05 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 6

    Chase and Deacon's Final No-notes Adventure by

    Fandoms: Cinderella Boy - Punko (Webcomic)  

    17 Jun 2024

    Tags
    Summary

    Chase and Deacon decide to go into a Sleeping Beauty retelling without reading it beforehand. After all, it's a story they already know, right? Except they severely underestimated how different a retelling can be from the original, and are surprised to find some roles have been switched...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,010
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    216
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1,688
    Bookmarked by not_a_functioning_human_being

    27 Dec 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Victor Effing Nikiforov by

    Fandoms: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)  

    25 Dec 2016

    Tags
    Summary

    AU in which Yuuri still doesn’t remember the banquet, somehow doesn’t blow Japanese Nationals, runs into Victor at the World Championships, and has absolutely no idea why his idol is suddenly friendly and incredibly handsy.

    Does Yuuri care about his reasons? No. It’s Victor Effing Nikiforov.

    Basically this is an excuse for total fluff. And porn. And shit-talking with bonus smut. (Edited for accuracy.) Happy birthday, Victor.

    ~~

    Victor turned back to him, supernova smile in place once more. “I really, really like you. Promise you’ll still dance with me at the banquet if you take gold this time around.”

    Yuuri stared at the man. He looked at their entwined hands—he hadn’t wanted to pull away—and their thighs, pressed together despite there being plenty of room in the backseat of the cab. That scent of Victor’s cologne—just a dab, lightly applied somewhere on his neck—swirled around him. This was too real to be a dream, too physical for him to have imagined it.

    “I’m sorry,” Yuuri said slowly. “But…have we talked before?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,259
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    21
    Comments:
    1,570
    Kudos:
    28,630
    Bookmarks:
    7,564
    Hits:
    307,285
    Bookmarked by not_a_functioning_human_being

    20 Nov 2025

  4. Public Bookmark 5

    unravel the world (and make it right) by for not_a_functioning_human_being

    Fandoms: KPop Demon Hunters (2025), Tokyo Ghoul  

    07 Dec 2025

    Tags
    Summary

    “I could’ve told your friends what you are,” Jinu pointed out. “But I didn't, did I? Because they don't know.”

    Rumi flinched. Years of lying, swallowing back the nausea, and keeping her eye unseen. Because it was what she had to do to remain their friend.

    “Ah, I did guess right,” he said, somehow sounding both callous yet genuine. “A half-ghoul. Also Hunter. Walking around free in the human world like they’re not what you eat."

    “I’m a Hunter,” she said. “Just because I’m some amount of ghoul doesn’t mean that I’m one of you.”

    or: Rumi's a ghoul now and I'm putting her through it

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,091
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    492
    Bookmarked by not_a_functioning_human_being

    26 Oct 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Matchmaker Caine by

    Fandoms: The Amazing Digital Circus (Web Series)  

    08 Aug 2025

    Tags
    Summary

    Jax and Pomni are suffering a new threat: Caine the Cupid. He’s weirdly passionate about bringing them together, mostly by forcing them on love adventures and dates. Pomni strikes a deal with Jax—they are going to fake date to stop the ridiculous and obvious matchmaking. But surely fake dating couldn’t go wrong, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,432
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    857
    Kudos:
    3,906
    Bookmarks:
    639
    Hits:
    85,221
    Bookmarked by not_a_functioning_human_being

    11 Sep 2025