341 - 360 of 445 Bookmarks by patchwork_blatherskite
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When John comes to stay at the Strider household, he unintentionally starts a war between Dave and Dirk. This is going to be a long two weeks...
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
01 May 2014
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Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
20 Apr 2014
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Post-Sburb fic. The game spits the kids and the trolls out in a new world together, and life goes on. Dave is helping John celebrate his twenty-fourth birthday with all of their friends at a local bar. Dave gets a little bummed out by some residual romantic feelings he has for Jade, but not to worry, because John and Karkat come to the rescue. At the end of the night, Karkat and Dave end up going home with John where sexy times ensue.
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
18 Apr 2014
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Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
18 Apr 2014
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Dave just wants to make it through high school alive and John just wants nothing to do with him. Pranking wars, awkward projects and the occasional bad pun is had and somewhere in between the two dorks end up falling in love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100,577
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Comments:
- 206
- Kudos:
- 999
- Bookmarks:
- 131
- Hits:
- 18,379
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
17 Apr 2014
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Buy it, Use it, Break it, Fix it by Hammertimexx (orphan_account)
Fandoms: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, Daft Punk
17 Sep 2014
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Summary
"Helmets?"
Dave Strider was many things; Talented? Yes. Ironic beyond all compare? No shit. Sexier than Brad Pitt in Fight Club? Obviously. Maker of some of the finest damn music this side of Venus? Hell to the fucking yes.
A wannabe robot with a gold helmet?
Not a chance in hell.
(Written by: Hammer and Time)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 147,024
- Chapters:
- 40/40
- Comments:
- 1,460
- Kudos:
- 2,128
- Bookmarks:
- 360
- Hits:
- 46,656
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
16 Apr 2014
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True Colors, Ironically Speaking by Hammertimexx (orphan_account)
Fandoms: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
05 Mar 2014
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"Show me your true colors
In their blinding brightness,
Like they glow in the night
When you are dreaming,
Forget about the others,
The unbearable lightness,
Of our being""What the hell is this, the new national anthem for the assholes trying to justify the fact that they have no fucking say in who they get to love?"
On a persons 21st birthday, they would discover the first name of their soulmate. John had waited his entire life for the moment, while Dave loathed the very idea of being paired with someone against his will. However, when the moment actually comes, both react much different than anyone would have thought.
(Written by: Hammer)
Series
- Part 1 of True Colors, Ironically Speaking
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,134
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 351
- Kudos:
- 1,087
- Bookmarks:
- 141
- Hits:
- 18,090
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
22 Mar 2014
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Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
21 Mar 2014
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doesn’t a glory hole sort of defeat the purpose of you being hot and blond and me wearing glasses?
In which John has his first real homocrush and does stupid shit in effort to alleviate it.
Series
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
08 Mar 2014
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A Change in Pace by orphan_account for VenneFag, Tollian
Fandoms: MS Paint Adventures, Homestuck
25 Jun 2012
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Summary
John loves finding new ways to mess with Dave, especially in the bedroom.
Series
- Part 2 of Never Not Normal
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
08 Mar 2014
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Summary
Once Karkat figures out the trick to getting John's attention, it's all smooth sailing from there.
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
14 Jan 2014
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John discovers a new and MUCH more entertaining way to fill his prankster's gambit.
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
14 Jan 2014
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Everything is more fun when there's something at stake, right? Swinging ought to be the same.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,968
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 70
- Kudos:
- 1,638
- Bookmarks:
- 201
- Hits:
- 29,135
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
05 Jan 2014
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Fighting fire with fire is okay in theory but Detective-Summoner Dave L. Strider figures trying to summon corporeal demons to the mortal plane to fight other demons is likely to backfire spectacularly. Sadly for him his inner Knight gets the vapors at the thought of letting anyone else play guinea pig.
Yup, he is totally hogging the demon. What could go wrong? (Oh no, Dave, why did you have to think that.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 233,688
- Chapters:
- 30/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,572
- Kudos:
- 2,955
- Bookmarks:
- 699
- Hits:
- 103,630
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
25 Dec 2013
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Summary
Man, Dave thought getting through adolescence was a pain in the ass for HUMANS. He had no idea how good they have it, until he saw what trolls got to go through.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,232
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 93
- Kudos:
- 3,551
- Bookmarks:
- 501
- Hits:
- 65,611
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
21 Dec 2013
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Summary
"I know it's not a nice solid dumpster," said the douche in a rumpled three-piece suit, "but the roof's not too leaky most days."
Karkat managed somehow to tear his eyes away from the kitschiest sword stand ever and its glittery hopefully-fake diamonds and give the man a long, unamused, unimpressed stare.
He hoped it was unimpressed. Apartment, his ass, this was a fucking penthouse suite. There were highly polished wooden floors everyfuckingwhere and marble countertops with inlaid fake-gold patterns (dear lord he hoped fake) and a chimney with a flatscreen showing a badly pixelated fire and faced by a fur rug.
It was ridiculously gaudy. It was also ridiculously expensive.
Bring a lot of your whores back here, Hefner? Karkat didn't retort, because hey, he was standing right here, wasn't he.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,912
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 116
- Kudos:
- 1,885
- Bookmarks:
- 421
- Hits:
- 48,243
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
21 Dec 2013
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Summary
John introduces his best human friend to his best troll friend. Maybe the three of them sit down to watch romcoms, maybe they're just hanging around a lab in the veil, but whatever the circumstance, Dave has trouble paying attention to the conversation at hand. Karkat is good looking and distracting and it's just not fair. Naturally, he begins distracting Karkat while John's talking. Little touches, lip licks, etc. Karkat gets flustered, Dave is thrilled, John is oblivious. It turns into a competition to see who can flirt the most without alerting John to their UST-fueled game.
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Originally for the kink meme.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,967
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 88
- Kudos:
- 4,319
- Bookmarks:
- 461
- Hits:
- 70,584
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
21 Dec 2013
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Summary
Dave is an amateur photographer who ropes his best friend into photoshoots. They both walk away from it with a prize far more memorable than a few stiff portraits for the album.
Series
- Part 1 of Something to Remember
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
14 Dec 2013
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Your name is Sollux Captor, and you are fucking tired of little children barfing in the aisles.
And, perhaps, you're a porn star now.
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
09 Dec 2013
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Summary
Dave had gone with the stronger of his memories, and for his absence, John had faded from Best Friend to just a friend. After endgame things had never quite gone back to the way they had been.
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
08 Dec 2013