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Summary
In which Derek fails at loving himself, and Stiles accidentally becomes his guru.
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Alternate Title: "Dick Failwolf, Private Eye."
(Or, Derek's hit with a Film Noir curse, which forces him to narrate his own life in luridly-detailed prose.)
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Alternate Title: "Dick Failwolf, Private Eye."
(Or, Derek's hit with a Film Noir curse, which forces him to narrate his own life in luridly-detailed prose.)
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Isaac is a temporary toddler, and Derek needs a babysitter.
Series
- Part 1 of Kids These Days
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Prince Stiles of Cor has always known, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he was never truly going to marry for love. Fighting it has only made it worse. Now, presented with a choice between two children of the Hale family of Ignis, Derek and Cora, he must make the decision to determine who will rule by his side. If only it were that simple.
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“Tell me,” he says, taking a drink. “If your sister does accept me as her husband, would you be pleased for her fortune or yours?”
Derek sets down the pitcher and moves further into the room, removing his vest and setting it over a chair. “I don’t believe that’s a fair question. If she finds happiness in your kingdom, by your side, of course I’ll be pleased for her.”
“And relieved, I imagine.”
Derek turns, arms crossed over his chest. “Would you be?”
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Bookmarked by pixiejay
23 Jul 2014
Bookmarker's Notes
FUCK THIS IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT IDC WHAT THE TAGS SAY READ THIS NIW
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Derek is an uptight college student, all work and no play. His carefully scheduled life is thrown kilter when his regular barista is replaced with someone new.
Series
- Part 1 of Mr. Hale and Stilinator
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"The Hellmouth is closed, sweetie. Scott can’t use impending doom as an excuse to ignore his feelings anymore." Lydia holds her hand out to check for chips in her polish. "Besides, it'll be hilarious to watch him pretend he’s not staring at Isaac ninety-percent of the time.”
“God, you sound like Stiles,” Allison says. “Hellmouth. This isn’t Buffy.”
“Isn't it? A transcontinental bonding session with the supernatural creatures of America. Sort of like Buffy, only on wheels and no one is dying. Werewolves, road trips, and unresolved sexual tension, oh my.”
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“We had to splint a girl’s leg in a ditch,” Scott says excitedly.
“Bro, you sound way too happy about that,” Stiles complains, opening up his bag and pulling out a Twinkie.
Derek removes it from his hand silently and replaces it with an apple. Stiles scowls at him for a second then bites into it, regardless. Derek sits back and lets the group discuss the merits of dramatic lifesaving feats for winning over the ladies. Scott is convinced it’ll help impress Allison; Isaac thinks Scott’s a loser. Stiles—
Stiles is falling asleep on Derek’s shoulder.
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Stiles gets a massage. And then some.
Alternatively: in which Stiles' mouth gets him into trouble, again and again.
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Stiles makes his choice: he'll be Derek's prey this time. It's mating season.
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Stiles has decided a long time ago that Derek Hale is like the kind of soda his mother always told him not to drink: the smooth, popping liquid that settles his stomach and wakes him up but never, never quenches his thirst.
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Derek visits Stiles post-finale showdown with a couple of offerings.
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Beacon Hills makes him remember that he doesn't get what he wants.