sobittersweet
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- 9-1-1 (TV) (6)
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Summary
But God, I wish you were here.
Yours,
Buck.Eddie just kept his gaze fixed on the letter, on Buck’s words, like if he looked away even for a second, they might disappear.
Did Buck really mean all of that?
Of course he did.
It was Buck’s letter. Buck, who wore his heart on his sleeve when he let himself. Buck, who poured the truth into everything he did, even when it hurt him.
Especially when it hurt him.
Eddie stared down at the paper, reading the words over and over like they might start meaning something different if he just looked hard enough.
"Never just a friend."
What the fuck, Buckley.-or-
After Bobby’s funeral, Buck finds it impossible to speak directly to anyone about how he's feeling — the grief is too much to bear. Instead, he writes letters to Eddie, sending them to Texas in hopes of processing his emotions from afar.
Eddie reading those letters weeks later, before coming back to L.A for good and having a full on breakdown about his feelings for Buck while trying to grieve. -
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“They're gonna need you.”
Steady, level, captain voice. They? Buck’s heart flails. I need you, I need you, don’t hand me the whole damn platoon when I can’t even hold myself up. He wants to claw through the glass, wants to trade places, wants to rewrite the laws of virology and mathematics and mercy. Please, Bobby, trade me the assignment, trade me the fate, I’m begging you.
“I love you, kid.”-or-
After Bobby’s death, Buck held the 118 together—but when the weight finally breaks him, his family reminds him he never had to carry it alone.
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The fire is still growing. The beams are groaning. Time is running out.
Eddie’s heart clenches.
“They’re not coming, Buck. You need to go.”
Not because he wants to let go. But because he can’t bear the thought of Buck dying here too.
He’s already risking everything by staying.
And Eddie—Eddie doesn’t want the last thing he sees to be Buck falling beside him.
“NO.” Buck snaps. “I told you. We’re surviving this together.”
He starts yelling, voice ripping through the air.
“HELP!” He coughs. “Bobby! Hen! HELP!!”
The desperation in Buck’s voice slices through Eddie’s chest more than the crushing weight above him ever could. He wants to stop him, to tell him not to waste his breath, but he can’t. Because some part of him—some foolish, aching part—still hopes too.-or-
One call changes everything. After nearly losing each other, Buck and Eddie are forced to face the feelings they’ve spent years burying. But grief, guilt, and fear don’t make falling in love any easier. It’s messy. It’s slow. And it might already be too late.
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Buck forced a smile. “Mind if I steal my friend for a sec?”
The girl looked between them and shrugged, brushing past him on her way out before closing the door on them. He didn’t look at her. Couldn’t.
And now they were alone.
“You’re jealous,” Eddie said, stumbling slightly, eyes heavy with heat and alcohol. “Buck, you’re acting all jealous.”
Buck leaned against the sink, trying to breathe through the pounding in his head. “I’m not—” Buck looked up at Eddie.- or -
Sometimes love doesn't need permission—just a cowboy hat, a reckless heart, and the right moment to fall.
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“Evan,” he says, his voice low and dry with just a hint of mockery.
Buck looks up, startled. “What?”
Eddie’s hand is already outstretched, palm open. “You’ve been pouting for an hour. Get up.”
“Are you serious right now?”
Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Unless you’d rather keep sulking about your ex and talking everyone’s ear off?”- or -
Buck shows up to the firefighter charity gala without a date, three glasses of champagne deep, and still complaining. The 118 reaches their limit. Eddie reaches for his hand.