spicedhoneycake
Fandoms
- Downton Abbey (4)
Recent works
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Summary
"On his first smoke break he lit two cigarettes, only realising after a moment that Jimmy was not going to come stumbling through the doors to join him on their bench. He left the second cigarette to burn out on the ground and wondered how long it would be until he could sit on this bench without hearing Jimmy’s laugh. He didn’t know what was more painful: missing Jimmy or the thought of forgetting him."
The day Jimmy left Downton was hell for Thomas. He wanted more than anything to go with him, if only Jimmy would ask. But he didn’t. Not until after lunch, anyway.
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One night, when Thomas is being kept awake by his nightmares, Jimmy tells him a story. Only Thomas isn’t quite sure whose story it is.
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Jimmy realises that he wouldn’t really mind if Thomas touched him, as long as no one can see. He thinks about holding Thomas' hand alone in his room, about drawing patterns on his palm, about running his fingers through perfectly set hair, mussing it up. Of course, that would be unfair though, because Thomas is in love with him, and Jimmy can never give him what he wants.
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“If you still fancied me,” Jimmy finally manages, “I thought maybe you would…”
“I would….” Thomas says, voice carefully even.
“I’m not sure.” Jimmy says and for a moment they are stood in a stalemate inbetween the trees, the icy wind cutting into their skin through layers of clothes, the half frozen droplets biting down on them. “I don’t know what I’d like you to do about it,” Jimmy continues after a long pause. “But if you still fancied me… I don’t think I’d mind.”Jimmy and Thomas come across an unexpected topic on a winter walk. Thomas thinks this might be the end, but it’s just the beginning.