themonsterunderthebed



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  1. Public Bookmark 99

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    Summary

    In hindsight, agreeing to a fake relationship with Regulus Black was a poor decision, but so was the haircut James Potter had in sixth form, and he survived that.

    All he has to do is get through two months of pretending he’s dating London’s favourite scandal in designer cashmere. Easy enough, except Regulus once nearly kissed him and then detonated his peace of mind.

    Meanwhile, Remus Lupin is keeping their clean-energy company running on caffeine and denial, while Sirius Black keeps turning up, breathing attractively, and making both impossible.

    Between the media circus, the world’s worst group chat, and an alarming amount of feelings no one wants to name, the lot of them are one bad headline away from collapse.

    It’s meant to be fake. It’s meant to be safe. But pretending stops working when everyone’s watching and the truth starts to look like something worth saying.

    Modern Marauders AU. Jegulus and Wolfstar. Fake dating, emotional repression, ill-advised honesty, and a happy ending.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    101,386
    Chapters:
    39/39
    Comments:
    319
    Kudos:
    311
    Bookmarks:
    99
    Hits:
    11,873

    01 Jul 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “They’re… chaos,” Remus said firmly. “And chaos is—”
    “Rock and roll.”
    He looked at Sirius sharply, and for once, matched his grin. “Yeah.”
    “Maybe that’s my excuse then,” Sirius said. “I cause a bit of chaos now, and maybe one day, it’ll turn into rock and roll.”

    After losing his mother at age eleven, Remus has spent the better part of the last four years bouncing from school to school or else running around London and pretending as though he wasn't the kind of well-bred boy his father brought him up to be. Now, with his chances all run out, Remus is sent to Hawkings Independent School as a last-ditch effort to clean up his act. There he meets the very people who will set up the rest of his life, and is forced to confront the pieces of himself he'd long thought had been lost.

    (genuinely not apologising for the slow-burn in this fic anymore. You've been warned <3)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    979,804
    Chapters:
    108/108
    Collections:
    31
    Comments:
    13,643
    Kudos:
    51,294
    Bookmarks:
    14,432
    Hits:
    4,435,143

    30 Jun 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    When a lesson in the History of Magic gets a bit too boring, Ron decides to come up with a list on how they could have ended Voldemort last year.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,059
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    841
    Bookmarks:
    141
    Hits:
    13,042

    03 May 2025

  4. Public Bookmark 35

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    Jinx swallows.

    No way.

    There’s no way in hell Jinx is pregnant. Zaun is riddled with infertility, and as she’d reminisced over earlier, she’s not exactly the pinnacle of health. She can’t be pregnant. No. way.

    Or, Jinx is fourteen, and pregnant. What could go wrong?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,263
    Chapters:
    2/7
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    298
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    5,494

    11 Apr 2025

  5. Public Bookmark 75

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    Hermione hits him over the head with the back of her hand. Ron goes down again, moaning and clutching his scalp. Harry watches them both as they bicker, and all he finds himself thinking is that—

    "I love you.”

    or, harry, ron and hermione being best mates.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,526
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    393
    Bookmarks:
    75
    Hits:
    1,989

    17 Aug 2024