thetwoheadedotter



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ugly, lonely, and depressed, Wade Wilson has all but resigned himself to a life of solitude. But when a glory hole place called The Promised Land (the "Home of the Holy") opens up, Wade discovers a way he might be able to find some intimacy without traumatizing anyone with the sight of his skin. Enter Peter, the sassy, sweet sex worker who has a perfect ass and an even better sense of humor. They might (might!) be even better than Spidey's.

    ~*~*~

    Yes. This is 100% the glory hole + identity porn love story no one asked for. It's a smutty, angsty, fluffy, funny rollercoaster. Please read the tags!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,827
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    06 Sep 2025

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    The war was over.

    Or at least that’s what the papers said.

    They’d been saying it, for months, as if people needed reminding.

    Maybe they did.

    ***

    In which Harry and Draco both run away from their pasts and conveniently choose to hide in the same tiny American town.

    It's super.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    109,767
    Chapters:
    29/29
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    44
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    31 Aug 2025

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    5 times Wade bumps into Peter Parker + 1 time he realizes Peter Parker is Spider-Man.

    Language:
    English
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    8,463
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    5
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    333
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    22 Aug 2025

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  4. Public Bookmark *

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    AU in which Yuuri still doesn’t remember the banquet, somehow doesn’t blow Japanese Nationals, runs into Victor at the World Championships, and has absolutely no idea why his idol is suddenly friendly and incredibly handsy.

    Does Yuuri care about his reasons? No. It’s Victor Effing Nikiforov.

    Basically this is an excuse for total fluff. And porn. And shit-talking with bonus smut. (Edited for accuracy.) Happy birthday, Victor.

    ~~

    Victor turned back to him, supernova smile in place once more. “I really, really like you. Promise you’ll still dance with me at the banquet if you take gold this time around.”

    Yuuri stared at the man. He looked at their entwined hands—he hadn’t wanted to pull away—and their thighs, pressed together despite there being plenty of room in the backseat of the cab. That scent of Victor’s cologne—just a dab, lightly applied somewhere on his neck—swirled around him. This was too real to be a dream, too physical for him to have imagined it.

    “I’m sorry,” Yuuri said slowly. “But…have we talked before?”

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    20 Sep 2025

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    149,549
    Chapters:
    16/16
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    15 Sep 2025

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