too_sober_for_this



Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander was traded to the Ottawa Centaurs without ever being outed. His relationship with Ilya Rozanov is still a secret to most people.
    Everything was going just fine, until they both get added to the Centaurs WAGs group chat.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,871
    Chapters:
    35/35
    Comments:
    4,224
    Kudos:
    14,744
    Bookmarks:
    2,833
    Hits:
    359,716

    30 Mar 2026

  2. Rec *

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    'This is what happens when the social media manager for the Ottawa Centaurs just finished rewatching the entirety of The Office for the 3rd time'

    “What a fucking nerd,” Ilya laughed, his eyes following Shane across the ice. The camera swung between them before eventually landing back on Ilya.

    “I want to eat him,”

    Luca blinked at him, horror slowly etching onto his face.

    “Like...sexually or...literally?

    Behind the camera, Harris cleared his throat to remind them of his presence. Ilya’s eyes never left Shane, who was still berating Troy by citing some charts from his clipboard.

    “Yes,” 

    Haas looked into the camera in utter fear.

    Alternatively, The Office Fic

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,724
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    1,235
    Kudos:
    21,209
    Bookmarks:
    5,863
    Hits:
    281,627

    06 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aka 5 times Ilya is the good guy and the 1 time Shane is the bad guy 😈

    OR

    Ilya Rozanov’s acts of kindness and Shane Hollanders act of VIOLENCE (deserved)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,800
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    275
    Kudos:
    8,652
    Bookmarks:
    1,062
    Hits:
    56,811

    03 Feb 2026

  4. Rec 76

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    Summary

    Irina arrives small enough to fit against Ilya’s chest, all soft sounds and sleepless nights. Then she learns to walk. To speak. To run ahead of them without looking back.

    Somewhere between first words and eighteenth birthdays, they realize there is no moment where she doesn’t belong to them, and no moment they can slow down enough to keep her small.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,732
    Chapters:
    3/5
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    298
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    6,017

    25 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 5

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    Summary

    “Would it kill you to be nice?”

    “Only if it guaranteed I didn’t have to deal with entitled people. Are you going to order or not?”

    “Well, ordering means the conversation would be over and I’m interested in why you think I’m entitled,” he shrugged.

    Pepper stared at him, trying very hard to not flip him off and walk away from the counter with the last ounce of her dignity.

    (Tony and Pepper get off on the wrong foot.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,463
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    651

    18 Jul 2023