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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya knows firsthand that the world isn’t comfortable. It’s loud, bright, demanding, a harsh place in direct opposition to everything he’s recently learned about autism.

    Is it so wrong that he wants Shane to feel safe here? To carve out a space where, even if only for a few hours, he doesn’t have to grin and bear anything? He can just be?

    Or: Ilya Rozanov has a lot of good ideas. Telling his fuck buddy that he should consider getting an autism diagnosis isn’t one of them.

    Language:
    English
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    1/1
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    19 Jul 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander woke up early on the morning of the MLH Awards. He went for a run. He had lunch with Hayden Pike. He kissed Ilya Rozanov in a bathroom. He fucked Ilya Rozanov in his hotel room.

    Shane Hollander woke up early on the morning of the MLH Awards.

    Again. And again. And again.

    (Shane relives the 2014 MLH Awards over and over again. Alternative title: Shane Hollander learns to ask for what he wants.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,125
    Chapters:
    27/27
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    14 Jul 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s dark, and Ilya’s not quite sure where he is.

    His entire body is numb. His shoes are soaking wet from trudging lazily through the snow. His nose is running, and his lips are chapped.

    Selfishly, he wishes Shane would fuss over him now. Pull him close, whisper “I forgive you” even though he shouldn’t, because Ilya would never change, because something inside him- in his family line, in his soul- was broken.

    Ilya wondered how long ago it had clicked- when Shane had realized that Ilya wormed his way into this country and tricked the Hollanders into caring for him, then returned the favor by botching their language and leaving a trail of mess in his wake. He still can't help but wonder if that will be part of his punishment- being doomed to miss him in death, too.

     

    or: Ilya’s mostly been able to cope with the fact that he’ll never be able to articulate himself fully in this country- but he’s also never been good at talking about feelings in the first place.

    "I'm tired" is the best he's got. It definitely doesn't capture what's going on in his head, and Shane can't read minds.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,440
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    380
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    25 Jun 2026

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    There’s no humor in Shane’s voice. It’s cold, hard, determined. “When we meet them on the ice next season, I want to fucking destroy them.”

    After a moment, he feels Ilya nod thoughtfully behind him.

    “Is good plan. Let’s fucking destroy them.”

    The Montreal Voyageurs won't stop slinging mud at Shane in the press, so Shane and Ilya decide to get revenge the best way they know how.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,949
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    1,292
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    12,623
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    18 Jun 2026

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    “And you’re sure there’s nothing for you?” David says suddenly. “You’re not—you’re feeling okay? You’re not sick? Shane wouldn’t have any reason to think that you’re sick?”

    Ilya blinks and turns to him. “I am fine. Totally fine. Better than fine, even, before today.”

    “It’s just—Shane’s acting like you’re dying, Ilya.”

    “Not as far as I’m aware,” says Ilya. “And I do not think he would learn this before me.”

    The summer before Ilya joins the Centaurs, Shane wakes up nervous. It doesn't stop from there.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,949
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
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    18 Jun 2026

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