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1. Public Bookmark 19

   ...I love you, and i hate you, and i think that I'm losing my mind by ClownCar420

   Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP  

   • Mature
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • M/M, Multi
   • Complete Work

   05 Sep 2024

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • Arek Lisowski | Keralis/Xisumavoid
   • Charles | Grian/Arek Lisowski | Keralis
   • Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
   • Charles | Grian
   • Arek Lisowski | Keralis
   • Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
   • Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
   • Implied/Referenced Suicide
   • Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault
   • Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
   • (not in detailed it is literally just referenced to have happened)
   • Charles | Grian Needs a Hug
   • (and he gets one)
   • Charles | Grian is Xelqua
   • Childhood Trauma
   • Childhood Memories
   • Author Is Venting
   • Self-Harm
   • Suicide Attempt
   • Suicidal Thoughts
   • Violent Thoughts
   • Broken Bones
   • Broken Families
   • Age Regression/De-Aging
   • impure regression
   • Aftercare
   • NONSEXUAL ageregression
   • (it happens after because trauma around sexual interactions)
   • Protective Arek Lisowski | Keralis
   • Protective Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF)
   • I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping
   • The Author Regrets Nothing
   • Religious Guilt
   • religious trauma
   • Watchers
   • The Watchers are Deities (Evolution SMP)
   • The Watchers are Bad (Evolution SMP)
   • Nerve Damage
   • Smoking
   • Drinking
   • Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified
   • please read the tags
   • Dissociation
   • Like i'm talking heavy on the dissociation
   • Hugs
   • Angst and Hurt/Comfort
   • Hurt/Comfort

   Summary

   The logic was warped, but in Grian’s mind, it made perfect sense. If he was the one in control, if he was the one causing the damage, then the Watchers couldn’t win. No one could win against him if he was already broken, already shattered.
   Who would want to hurt him if he had already beaten them to it?

   The scars were his shield. His way of saying, I’ve already done the worst to myself. What more can you do? He had etched that message into his skin, into the fabric of his being.
   No one, not even the Watchers, could hurt him more than he hurt himself.
   And in some twisted way, that gave him a sense of freedom.

   //OR
   Grian is having a bad time because we are, the tags speak for themselves,
   PLEASE read the tags and be careful, thank you,
   -West

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   8,043

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   7

   Kudos:

   146

   Bookmarks:

   19

   Hits:

   1,638

   Bookmarked by zeguns

   27 Nov 2024