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“Have you considered the possibility that Neil has chosen you, but believes you have not chosen him?” Renee says. "Have you ever explicitly told him what you want?”
“Neil knows what I want,” Andrew snaps. This is not Andrew’s fault.
“How do you know?”
Because Neil always knows. He is as fluent in Andrew’s micro-expressions as he is in German and French. He knows which head tilts mean “go on” and which ones mean “shut up.” Without ever asking, he learned what it meant to see Andrew wearing double layers of long sleeves, or taking multiple showers in a day, and learned to hand Andrew the car keys.
That has always been the most terrifying thing about Neil — his patience to wait, watch, listen, learn. The prospect that if Neil were given enough time, there would be no part of Andrew that was just Andrew’s anymore.
“He has to know,” Andrew says.
“Does he?” Renee says. “Have you ever known Neil to assume that he is wanted?”
Five times Neil tells someone that he and Andrew aren’t dating, and one time Andrew uses his words to set the record straight.
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Bookmarked by zenrinu
20 Jul 2025
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Can't tell anyone, can't tell anyone.
The void left after Light’s death persists a year later. Not a day goes by that Matsuda doesn’t recall the relationship they once had, the extent of it unknown to anyone else, a secret kept between him and Light— still. He’s been left alive to pick up the pieces alone. Reconciling with every lie told, every fake smile… wondering if he's hopelessly foolish for trying to convince himself any of it was real.
But as he’s sat next to Ide in his car, the simple silence and the warm presence by his side might be enough to fill the emptiness of what’s been lost. At least for a little while.
(A year after Yellow Box and a follow-up to the manga’s epilogue.)
Bookmarked by zenrinu
25 Apr 2025