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Part 15 of Through the Looking-Glass, Weirdly , Part 13 of canon commentary
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2017-03-29
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2017-05-08
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2/?
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Character Sentence Stories

Summary:

Prompt fills for [this list] featuring two characters, a sentence prompt, and whatever interpretation strikes me. Relationships and tags vary by chapter. Fills may be platonic, romantic, or even antagonistic.

Ch. 2: "Can we go someplace high so I can jump off it?" for Obito & Shisui, In which a change of events both improves and worsens Obito's quality of life, some people are alive who wouldn't be, and family is great (except when you have a hangover).

Notes:

Chapter 1: “Where’s your God now?” MadaTobi

Summary:

Following Dreams verse, In which authorities politely stress over beings outside their control, Kawarama wants to know the God his older brother got stealth involved with, and Tobirama remembers why he moved in with Itama.

Notes:

For shio-dih, original tumblr post [here].

Chapter Text

"Sorry to intrude on your office hours, Professor Senju, but do you have some time for questions?"

Kawarama slams his thumb down on the pause button on his portable game system, grin already growing on his face as he looks up to see Sunshine's dad standing in the entrance to Tobirama's office. Mad'ra gives him a flat look from the other end of the couch, tapping a finger impatiently on his own game system, but Kawarama holds up a hand, eyes riveted on Tobes' face as his brother stills at his desk, pen poised over a pile of papers as red eyes flicker towards the door.

The way Tobirama closes his eyes and breathes in slowly after noticing the runes marking Minato's dress shirt as an OSIB uniform is priceless.

"Director Namikaze, can I help you?" Tobirama asks, voice a bit flat.

Minato smiles apologetically but without regret and Kawarama presses his lips together tightly. "There's been an unusual event in the west that we don't have much data on. Do you happen to know where your God is right now?"

Kawarama snorts.

Tobirama sends him a withering glare as Kawarama struggles not to break down laughing, barely managing to limit himself to undignified snorting. He almost chokes when Minato greets him and Mad'ra, completely failing to react to the fire God lounging in plain sight. His older brother clearly catches the incongruity as well and switches his glare from Kawarama to his lover, who quirks a black eyebrow unrepentantly and then reaches a finger over to stab at the start button on Kawarama's device, resuming their virtual fight and causing Kawarama to curse and quickly direct his character to dodge an enemy.

"While I know where Mad'ra is," Tobirama answers tersely, irritation nearly radiating from him as he refocus on the OSIB director, "I don't believe that will help you at all - as I have already stated in the past - given his disinclination to spend time with authorities. Or answer questions from most humans. Or cooperate in general for that matter."

"I don't know, he's pretty good at team play when he's not trying to get his teammate KO'ed," Kawarama interjects, grinning and undeterred by Tobirama's displeasure.

"Well you shouldn't have paused in the middle of battle," Mad'ra mutters, scowling as one of the NPCs hits him with a projectile.

"That's what the pause button is for," Kawarama stresses, laying down cover fire so Mad'ra can move.

Tobirama pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly fed up with both the interruption to his work and their commentary, and turns his focus back on Minato. Kawarama keeps a quarter of his attention on his brother's conversation for the sake of his own amusement as he and his firebomb-in-law (no, no, that's another stupid name. Mad'ra's nicknames will require more thought. Maybe something with two syllables since it's replacing the "brother" in "brother-in-law"?) work their way through the dungeon levels in the Archipelago of Bloody Mists.

For someone who had never bothered to pick up a video game before attaching himself to Tobirama, Mad'ra isn't actually that bad at this. He catches on really fast despite lacking most basic knowledge, and his style is unquestionably hit them hard and put them down. The God tends to take unnecessary damage at the beginnings of fights - Kawarama has the impression that Mad'ra is understandably accustomed to being remarkably hard to hit and maybe a bit impatient to boot - but despite the evidence showing a fairly straightforward style of thought, he's clever enough to notice and work through the traps and puzzles quickly even though he ignores whatever NPCs he can.

Overall Kawarama's... mostly ok with the guy. Mad'ra can't be terrible if Tobes likes him so much (and wasn't that a surprise) and he's open to playing games and humoring Tama's endless questions, but still... Kawarama definitely understands why Sunshine's dad is doing everything short of having OSIB politely and very respectfully stalk Tobirama. If Kawarama was the guy who's responsible for knowing how to successfully navigate negotiations with the being who threw up a fire column in a warded auditorium with no effort, he'd also be asking dozens of questions and trying to get a better feel for "Madara".

( It doesn't make Tobirama's developing twitch or the absurdity of "where's your God now?" any less entertaining though. )

Eventually Minato makes his way back out after a roundabout conversation establishing that no, Tobirama doesn't think Mad'ra had anything to do with whatever it was, and no, Tobirama is fairly certain Mad'ra doesn't intend on dealing with whatever it was, and yes, Tobirama is willing to forward any information he comes into possession of, but no, he doesn't think Mad'ra will be willing to entertain anything resembling a cooperative exchange of information with OSIB or society in general at this time.

"Are you sure you don't want me to set them all on fire, Tobirama?" Mad'ra asks dryly, eyes focused on the game as Tobirama rubs at his temples.

Tobirama sends them both another dirty look as a dungeon boss song starts playing loudly and stands up, pushing back his chair to round the table. He plucks the game right from Mad'ra's hands, dropping it in Kawarama's lap, and sits on the armrest, calf resting against the God's knee as he looks down in irritation. "Explain why you couldn't be bothered to answer those questions yourself and then how Namikaze didn't register you when he's already met you."

"I didn't want to speak with him," Mad'ra answers with a smirk as Kawarama scrambles to pause the game again, pointedly rolling his eyes at Tobirama who's ignoring him. "I see no convincing reason to care one way or another about those people although the way you're getting frustrated is starting to irritate me on your behalf. And that one is rather polite and respectful by nature which makes it nearly effortless to make him overlook connections and that's already a simple matter."

"How so?" Tobirama asks with a frown that slowly lightens as Mad'ra reaches a hand up and gently traces a finger over Tobirama's markings one by one.

Kawarama reaches over the arm of the couch and fishes out his phone from his bag as Mad'ra shrugs. "I do not wish him to acknowledge me and not doing so meshes well with his desire not to unnecessarily intrude or interfere in people's personal matters, which is what I view this as. My actions are my business, so not connecting me to my appearance suits both our desires."

"Except for where he'd like to see yo—" Tobirama cuts off as Kawarama's phone camera makes a shutter sound, expression shifting from slowly relaxing to irate again as he meets Kawarama's grin, Mad'ra's finger slipping from his cheek. "What are you doing?"

"Taking couple pictures," Kawarama answers innocently, shamelessly clicking another few times to get a good view of Tobirama's annoyance and Mad'ra's idle interest as the God turns his attention partly away from Tobirama again. "According to Tama you more or less got married before Hashi even grabbed a date with Mito and we've got practically no pictures at all. Not to mention that I have roughly a decade of younger sibling duties to make up for. Gotta start somewhere, Tobes!"

"Get out of my office," Tobirama sighs as Mad'ra snorts.

"That's so rude. I came in here to have brotherly bonding time, and you want to kick me out. I'm heartbroken, Tobes."

"You came in with two handheld game systems you just happened to have and started playing Call of the Ninja on my office couch with my—" Tobirama pauses, eyes flickering to Mad'ra's face "—with Mad'ra."

"Two things," Kawarama says firmly, holding up fingers and resting his arm on the back of the couch. "One: I came in, greeted you lovingly, and you grunted and kept marking those thesis drafts while leaving me dejected over here." Mad'ra chuckles as Tobirama drags a hand down his face. "And two: who says I was talking about bonding time with you? Someone has to spend time teaching your beau about the wonders of society if he wants to blend in, and you and Tama aren't going to cover vital necessities like video games and TV and basic conversational topics. Well, I guess you could if he wants to be five years out of date at all times, give or take whatever last research binge you two buried yourselves in but—"

"Kawarama, please get out of my office."

Kawarama hums, looking between his brother, his brother's desk, and his own whatever-in-law. "I suppose I can leave if you guys want to do more cute PDAs in privacy rather than grading papers. Although, just fyi, if you're planning to use the condoms I generously shoved in your desk ages ago, Tobes, you should know they're probably expired."

Oops, Kawarama thinks as Tobirama's eyes abruptly narrow with an evil glint before sliding down towards Mad'ra who tilts his head slightly as if Tobirama had actually said something before black eyes shift to meet Kawarama's own. Miiight have gone a bit too far that time.

Half a second later black ashes and red-orange sparks flit around him and Kawarama abruptly finds himself four feet in the air above a compost heap in the botany fields with just enough time to realize what happened before he lands hard on his ass in the stinking pile.

Grimacing with a scrunched up nose at the smell and disgusting texture, Kawarama huffs, glaring into the distance towards the direction of his brother's office. "If you wanted to have personal time with your boyfriend you could have just said so, Tobes! No need to be an embarrassed asshole!" he yells.

His bag lands on his head a second later, video games and all.

Chapter 2: "Can we go someplace high so I can jump off it?" Obito & Shisui

Summary:

In which a change of events both improves and worsens Obito's quality of life, some people are alive who wouldn't be, and family is great (except when you have a hangover).

Notes:

For fatcatsarecats, also known as Nanimok, tumblr post here

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"GOOD MORNING!"

Obito flails out of a dead sleep at the LOUD, tone deaf squall. Heart pounding, he blindly flings a kunai at the door, frantically shoves himself up...

...and with an undignified scramble for his sheets falls right off his bed with a thud.

Shisui snorts.

"You... bastard..." Obito groans, head throbbing and stomach threatening to rebel as his massive hangover makes itself known past the intense throbbing in his bad side. Thank the fucking kami he had gotten caught in his sheets and flipped over when he slid off the mattress like a moron. At least this way he only had to deal with his normal level of chronic pain in addition to the hangover and embarrassment instead of the crippling agony that would have come with landing on his right side.

Crippling. Obito snorts bitterly, wincing as it sets off the ache in his nose from hitting the floor boards. Not that he could feel it much past the boss summons trying to smash their way out of his skull.

God, why the hell had he drunk so much again?

"Are you alright?" Shisui calls out, a laugh hiding in his tone as his head peaks out carefully from behind the door frame. The younger shinobi plucks the kunai out of the wood near his cheek, and Obito gives him a dirty look and flips him off.

"Why the fuck are you here?" Obito rasps through his parched throat, shifting carefully onto his back with a hiss as his hip and knee lock up. "And while we're at it, how did you get past all of my traps again, you little shit?"

"C'mon cousin, give me some credit for being a jounin," Shisui says, friendly grin softening as Obito cringes slightly at the sound of his voice and brings up a hand to rub gingerly at his temple. The sixteen-year-old's eyes flicker briefly over his twisted scars as Obito forces his locked up muscles to unwind, but the only emotion he catches on Shisui's face when he squints over at him is a good-natured sympathy rather than the pity, disdain, or infuriating dismissiveness so common among their fellow shinobi.

Not that that's going to save Shisui from the revenge and massive trap upgrades that Obito is going to implement after this. His traps are one of the few shinobi arts he still has full access to and he is NOT going to have someone just dance right past them!

"You are only a jounin," Obito says, already plotting alterations as he throws his left arm over his face to block out the light spearing through his eyes, "because Minato-sensei has a quota to meet for Konoha's ranks and he decided to skip the portion of the jounin requirements that cover good sense and appropriate decision making skills."

"Well that's rude," Shisui remarks idly. "It certainly explains a lot about our comrades, but there's still no reason to take your bad mood out on me. I only dropped by to say happy twentieth birthday in person since no one invited me to the bar yesterday and by the time I found out and arrived you were already well on your way to pickling yourself. Speaking of which, nice life choice there: getting involved in one of Gai's challenges."

Oh riiight, Obito thinks belatedly, fuzzy memories of green spandex, silver hair, and sake jugs dancing through his mind, THAT'S why I drank so much last night.

... He really needed to stop letting competitiveness and low-key resentment influence his life choices.

Obito runs his tongue over his teeth, scars pulling slightly as he screws his face up, abruptly aware of the aftertaste of vomit, alcohol, and fried chicken. Or maybe it's just that he needs to stop making any decisions at all if he's frustrated or annoyed and alcohol is already involved. They never end well. The fuck up with the Aoba and his crows comes to mind. The massive argument with Bakashi and his martyring guilt complex is another.

Yeah... maybe switching out the alcohol for Anko's fruity cocktails would be a better choice and to hell with anyone's teasing.

Hell, he probably didn't even manage to beat Kakashi even if he did match Gai drink for drink because Bakashi probably cheated again by stealth dumping his drinks into other people's glasses or something. Rin is going to give him that look when she comes around and—

Oh.

Oh fuck. RIN!

"So you do remember the end of last night," Shisui affirms with a grin as Obito makes a horrified gurgling sound and attempts to sink through the floor in abject, mortified humiliation. "I'd sort of wondered if I had lost that bet because you seemed remarkably aplomb for a guy who's just drunkenly hit on his childhood crush. Again. For the fifth—"

"Shisui, I swear on our ancestor's ashes that if you don't shut up," Obito threatens, voice muffled through his hands and yet noticeably high pitched, "I will have you assassinated. I am Minato-sensei's glorified fucking secretary and I have the sharingan: I will forge his signature and have them dump you dead in a river somewhere!"

Shisui throws him a slightly unsure look over a smile. "You know it's kind of concerning how you default to treasonous murder when life pushes your buttons wrong. I'd like to emphasize that I had nothing to do with you failing to serenade—" Obito groans "—your crush."

"I don't have a crush on Rin," Obito says flatly, watching the ceiling and debating about slamming his fist into his knee so he can be overwhelmed with the much more palatable physical agony instead of the mental agony of sake-tinged recollections.

"That's not what the entirety of the bar thinks."

"Fuck."

"Although Rin was very kind about turning you down again, if it makes you feel better." Shisui offers.

It did not make Obito feel better.

"River, Shisui. River," Obito threatens darkly, wincingly remembering Rin doing the same kind but subtly immovable speech to let drunk-him down that she had done the last time he'd started regaling the room with her virtues.

He doesn't have a crush on Rin anymore. He really, really doesn't. Rin is like... the brilliantly kind and capable sister figure Obito had always wanted, but he's not really one for romancing close sister figures because he's not a noble or a Hyuuga. It's also really hard to maintain any sweet feelings for the person who unyieldingly forces you through regular physical therapy. But it's genuinely not his fault that she's practically perfect in every way outside of that or that drunk him always feels the need to explain that to the idiot people who don't properly appreciate her and he really needs to stop doing this!

Oh god this is going to be awkward. Nobody ever believes 'I don't have a crush anymore, I just think she's perfect.'

(Perfect aside from her shitty taste in emotionally unavailable guys that is, but Obito's opinion there is pretty much never wanted.)

"This is probably a bad time to mention that pretty much everyone was still there when you started rambling, isn't it?" Shisui asks rhetorically.

"I need someplace high so I can jump off it," Obito despairs wholeheartedly, already imagining the shit he'll get for this as various assholes come through the Hokage tower for missions and reports. Fuck his life.

"Someplace high huh?" Shisui considers thoughtfully, making Obito pause to eye him warily at his tone of voice. "Alright, I've got an idea. Come on, get up and let's go get breakfast so we can leave."

"No," Obito refuses, stomach rolling at the thought of food.

"Up, up, up!" Shisui chives, smart enough not to come in reach of Obito even as he grabs Obito's leg brace off the table and drops it on his chest.

"I said no!"

Shisui takes a deep, exaggerated breath and Obito flinches, covering his ears just in time before Shisui starts singing the most horrendously mangled version of Happy Birthday that a human has ever croaked out.

"Alright, alright, shut up!" Obito cracks, shoving himself up with a dirty glare and ignoring the way his right shoulder crackles.

Shisui abruptly stops caterwauling. "I'll go make something for us then," he offers, casually strolling towards the kitchen.

(There are days Obito really, really hates his relatives.)

.

 .

"I cannot—" Obito grunts, climbing a few more steps and hiding a wince "—believe you dragged me up to the top of the Hokage mountain, for fuck's sake, Shisui!"

"Your language is pretty terrible for someone who spends a lot of their free time helping kids, Obito." Shisui meanders along the path ahead of him, always just far enough away to keep out of immediate strangling distance while still going slow enough that Obito can keep up without pushing it. Not that either of them acknowledge that that's what Shisui's doing since the teen is doing a decent impression of casually appreciating the beauty of dawn falling upon the village.

(Dawn. Dawn, that little shit. Obito hadn't passed out until at least three in the morning. He's not hungover like he'd thought: he's still drunk.)

"Would you just get to the point?" Obito forces out, breathing through his nose in a controlled pattern. They finally level off at a platform nearby the First's head and Obito takes a moment to really appreciate the beauty of flat ground no matter how grating it is that this is what he's been reduced to since Rin and Kakashi pried him out of that cave in years ago.

And then he sees the orange thing on the ground and forgets about being bitter.

"What is that?" Obito asks, honestly curious as he shuffles forward next to a grinning Shisui to get a better look. It's looks like a gigantic kite almost except more triangular rather than diamond shaped and with a wooden frame extending downwards to prop it up from the ground. A set of ropes and cloth hang down behind the horizontal bar in what looks like a harness and Obito shifts onto his left foot for better balance as he reaches forward to run a finger over the Konoha symbol emblazoned on the middle of the tautly stretched tarp.

"It's called a glider," Shisui offers. "I and a few other people may or may not have seen them on a hypothetical mission in the mountains nearby a place whose name might have four letters and start with 'Ku'. You hang underneath it or support yourself with both arms on the bars and then throw yourself off something tall. Air thermals support the wings and your weight and will let you stay airborne for hours if you want, provided you don't screw up and panic. Isn't it awesome?"

"Where did you even get one?"

"We made it!" Shisui gestures to it proudly. "And by 'we' I mean that Tenzo grew the frame after I kept talking about it and then Yugao banished me from sewing the cloth on because apparently I cannot be trusted to stitch evenly."

"And it really works?"

"Absolutely. So, do you want to try?" Shisui waits, looking over at his cousin while Obito considers it, curling and uncurling the stiffened fingers of his damaged hand. "You wanted to throw yourself off something and this is gonna be a lot more fun than walking all the way back down the mountain and going home."

'Especially since you can't land well enough to use Shunshin.'

Obito frowns at the unsaid words and rubs the back of his sore head before mustering up a smile. "Alright. Yeah. I'll give it a go. Although," he adds, roughly slapping the side of Shisui's arm with a pointed look, "if I crash or someone shoots me down, you're explaining this to everyone. Including the medic-nin and Rin."

Shisui's grin falters a bit. "That sounds... fair." A pause. "Please don't crash though. Seriously. Tenzo might cry."

Obito huffs a weak laugh at the blatant exaggeration, eyes squinting painfully against the ambient light. "Just help me into this thing, Shisui."

Notes:

So this was my little theory on a possibility for "What if the rockfall wasn't quite as bad, they got Obito out alive? Except that means no Madara with Zetsu/mokuton healing for Obito and Tsunade's still MIA."

I hope you enjoyed it, these two characters are a bitch to write because so much of their personality is tangled in questionable writing choices (oy vey), so please review and let me know what you thought or which parts you liked. Thanks!