Chapter Text
"Hey you, where do you want it?" I politely ask the idiot currently crushing my foot.
"Eh?" he answers, confused.
"His punch, he meant," clarifies Ollie while letting an exasperated sigh before continuing with: "Here we go again!"
We can't even go drink a beer quietly in a bar without starting a fight with the meanest, stupidest brute in the place. Okay, we might not have chosen the quietest tavern in a remote town. Maybe we shouldn't have gone to Gotham for a drink. Still, it should not be an automatic consent for harassment. It even seems like that kind of taverns was multiplying, trying to win the award of the worst bars in the world. Gotham is still the most crime-prone town in the States and it can give the title of the worst in the world a good run for its money.
Ah, I just punched the guy in the face. Another fight to finish. I must admit, beer always tastes better after a bit of activity.
"Guys, I could take a drink with you if you have finished picking up fights for this evening," a girl dressed as a magician proposes to Ollie and me. Wait, she is a magician (we started drinking before coming to the bar, which in hindsight, might have been a mistake). It took me two seconds longer than usual to figure out Zatanna had walked up to Ollie while we were cleaning up the place.
"Good idea, Zatanna; it might force Hal to stop looking for a fight. We already did three bars," explains Ollie.
"Hey, they were the ones looking for it! I just want a cold beer," I yell back forcefully.
"Yup. But I might have noticed you walking accidentally on the feet of the biggest guys that you could find in all the taverns we've been to," replies Ollie in an even tone.
After a bit of back and forth, we decided we should all go to a quiet pub for a drink. Zatanna leads us to a small tavern, neat and quiet where we can get some privacy. We sat and ordered drinks. I was still complaining about Ollie's previous statement about my tendency to look for a fight.
"Guys, could we talk of something else than Hal's macho tendency to look for trouble?" Zatanna asks, smiling despite herself.
"Sure," answers Ollie, "what do you have in mind?"
Zatanna's face grows pensive and she leans forward.
"It has been three years since he disappeared," she continues quietly.
At those words, I understood why Zatanna was wandering in a disgusting tavern in Gotham tonight. My mind worked a bit slower when drunk, but her words forced me to become soberer than I was comfortable with the current conversation topic.
Before Batman was Batman, Zatanna was a childhood friend of his. Don't ask me how she could stand that jerk for that long.
As for me, anniversaries tended to be forgotten. It certainly did not feel like three years had gone by. I can still hear him nag as if it was only yesterday: "Jordan, we would have finished our mission several hours ago and with less damage if you had not decided we no longer had to wait for the signal. There are reasons you are not in charge of planning. Can't your ring translate simple English to you?"
"What do you think happened to him?" pursues Zatanna, dragging me away from my thoughts.
Ollie and I look at one another. To be honest, when we are very drunk, we manage to have our weirdest theories; Batman did come up several times during the last three years-not that he wasn't part of our theories before his disappearance since he is too weird to not have any strange theories about him. Nonetheless, neither Ollie nor I could tell Zatanna we believed he ran away with a mermaid to Antarctica to have fish. In a way, that would be probably pleasanter than whatever he had been doing.
Superman, who knew him better, once told me about the time Batman had lost Robin to Joker. According to him, Batman took others' death very badly. Well, emotional stability was never his strong suit.
Ollie was better prepared than me (or smarter, though I did not say that) to reply to Zatanna's inquiries.
"He is probably working for the perfect revenge on the villain who ruined his life. If I had been in his shoes, I would do everything in my power to make the hateful person suffer as much as I have suffered. It would take lots of planning. He might just be slowly torturing the one who did this to him."
He had drunk a lot, but I could sense his profound seriousness. I sincerely hope nobody would ever push him that far, since he might do the irremediable and then, with who would I drink? Without Ollie's contribution and mine, this League was seriously lacking a sense of humour. They would have to buy it.
Zatanna turns expectantly to me.
"He might be restarting his life without the hero part?" I answer unconvincingly.
Ollie and Zatanna respond with a flat "no" at the same time. Well, S'xcuse me for not thinking at all like him.
Hey, at least I enjoy life.
"And you, Zatanna, what do you think he is doing?" I ask to avoid getting upset at them.
Zatanna stares at her drink for a moment, lifts it up and swallows its content.
"You know, Hal, I prefer your theory. That he is happy somewhere. That he is not in danger. The problem is that I have known him too much to believe it. I feel he puts his life at risk all the time. I hope he doesn't act as he did after Jason's death... I do not want him to die."
Zatanna starts crying. Ollie once told me there might have been something between her and Batman in the past. Maybe, but that is beside the point. Ollie and I will have to pick up the pieces of the puzzle he had left behind. We had to deal with the bereaved woman still trying to figure out if she was bereaved. And to think we had come to Gotham to relax. I swear that something always happens!
Moreover, another gang lord is expanding in the underworld. One day, I should clean up the city. Difficult, unpleasant and surprising city; this insane city is similar to you, Batman.