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Chloe's smiling, when they leave. Max isn't.
Or, rather, Max smiles in response to Chloe's weak attempt at trying to cheer her up, and faces forward, sitting up in her seat as if she's excited about the trip ahead of them.
(She isn't, of course. Chloe knows Max too well not to notice the anxiety on her face. She would ask her what she was thinking about, but she's not an idiot. It's hard not to know, when all around them is a town they've both grown up in and hated and suffered in and destroyed.
Chloe's going to have to come to terms with that, soon.)
They don't know where they're going. They're going north and Chloe has a vague idea they're going to Seattle or something, but nothing's set in stone. Plans are too overwhelming right now. Thinking deeply about anything is too overwhelming right now.
She supposes that's just how it is when your only-one-left destroys a town to save you through mystical time bullshit. Since there's no other case to compare herself against, she may as well maintain that the way she's reacting is the natural one. (She just isn't thinking about it.)
Thinking about the way they never actually saved Rachel, or how in trying to she just ruined Max's life and corrupted her into destroying everything they'd known, or how her mom died in the shitty diner Chloe used to love going to on Sunday mornings with her dad--
Yeah. She's not thinking about any of that.
The car's too quiet, but Chloe's not willing to break it by talking to her companion or turning the radio on. It would break whatever fragile calm they've reached. Right now Chloe's totally disconnected from everything happening around her, both wrapped up in her own thoughts and decidedly not thinking. Noise would snap her out of it. The cold from her still-soaking clothes is already a lot.
"You're running low on gas," Max says quietly, and Chloe slams on the brakes. There's no one around them, somewhat obviously. She definitely breaks at least one traffic safety law in the sudden, jerky way she pulls over. "Chloe?" Max asks, panicked. "Talk to me--"
"I'm--" Chloe says, and then opens her door and vomits.
When she opens her eyes, her vision's blurred and everything seems too bright and that's when she realizes she's crying. Max is holding her hair back and the expression on her face is so protective and so worried it makes Chloe ache.
Chloe's shaking, whether with the stress of throwing up or wracked with tears or just shivering she doesn't know.
"Everyone's fucking dead, Max," Chloe says, voice hoarse.
"I know," Max says. "I--"
Silence falls over them.
Chloe sits on the asphalt, looking up at Max, hovering awkwardly around her. "What the hell are we supposed to do?"
"I--" Max says. "I mean, we have to...go get jobs or. Something."
Chloe kind of wants to laugh. It's not funny, but they're going from destroying a town with mystical time powers to getting a job, which is just weird. They need money so they can get a place or food, despite Max's god-like powers.
"I..." Max sits down by Chloe, putting her face in her hands. "I have no fucking clue."
"Me either," Chloe says.
It's quiet again, but the calm seems less fragile, more comfortable.
"What do you want to do?" Max asks.
"I--" Chloe pauses. When she was up at the lighthouse, looking down at the destruction, asking Max to save the town instead of her, she didn't want anything. Except...to die, she guesses. She doubts Max will be happy with that answer.
"Seriously," Max says. "I have no clue what I want. It's up to you."
"Max, you saved me," Chloe says. "Whatever you want."
"No, Chloe--"
Chloe actually does laugh, now, because it's just like when they were kids, and Max insisted Chloe could pick because it was her house, and Chloe insisted Max was the guest, and it went on for ages and they never actually did anything.
"Chloe," Max says. "Right now I don't even feel real. I don't want to do anything. I barely even want to...exist."
Chloe frowns. "Hey, I'm the one who's supposed to hate herself, step off."
Max takes a deep breath, and Chloe worries she's stepped across some line and Max is gonna realize she's supposed to hate her now, but then Max puts her head in between her knees and cackles. It's a loud, weird, kind-of-ugly laugh.
Chloe's pretty sure that's when it hits her that she's actually in love.
After about a minute, at the end of which she's honest-to-God wheezing, Max sits up.
"That was terrible," Max says, still a little giggly.
"You love me," Chloe teases.
"Yeah," Max says.
Resisting the urge to have a serious conversation sitting on the street just outside of a town that's completely destroyed, Chloe pushes herself off the ground and offers Max a hand to help her up. They get up and in the car, but don't start it yet.
"Before we keep driving," Chloe says, cautiously. "What do we wanna do?"
"We should probably go see my parents," Max says. "I mean...they'll help with the money thing at least."
There's a pause.
"After that, I have no clue."
"Me either," Chloe says. "Think anyone besides the two of us know about it?"
It remains unspoken. They're gonna have to talk about it soon, about how Max killed so many people just to save her, but neither of them are ready for that.
"No," Max says. "I--oh, God, I have to call my parents, if this is on the news and they haven't heard from me--"
Chloe's gut twists at that. She won't say anything--how dare you still have parents seems like a shitty fuckin' thing to say--but.
Her mom died in that stupid diner.
As if she can read her thoughts, Max grabs Chloe's hand. "Hey," Max says, softly. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Chloe says. "Not your fault."
Kind of is, they both know.
"Think we have enough gas to get to the next gas station?" Chloe asks.
"I don't drive, I don't know," Max says.
"Ugh," Chloe says in mock-annoyance. "Can't believe I have to drive the whole way to Seattle."
Max sticks out her tongue.
"Also," Chloe says. "Soon as we can, I'm getting a damn toothbrush."
--
Max's parents don't pick up at first, but when they do, Chloe pulls over and steps out of the car, giving Max her space. She smokes the last cigarette in the pack she keeps stashed in her car, trying to focus on that instead of the helicopters she can hear above her heading towards Arcadia Bay.
(The first time she looked up, she saw some news station's logo on one. She doesn't want to look up and see if that's all there is, because a lack of rescue helicopters will remind her that no one else survived, and if she sees one, they've been stuck in town that whole time and it's Chloe's fault.)
Max knocks on the window, and Chloe drops her cigarette and crushes it before getting back in the car.
"You okay?" Chloe asks.
"Yeah," Max says.
Chloe doesn't comment on the tear tracks on Max's face.
--
They did not, in fact, have enough gas to get to the next gas station, and they're sitting on the hood of Chloe's truck, waving Chloe's tank in the air. Max had suggested it once they realized both their phones were dead, and blushed furiously when Chloe asked if it was just an elaborate way to ask her to get her top off.
While it might not be super comfortable wearing only her jacket zipped up to preserve whatever modesty she has left, the sight of Max completely beet-red was worth it.
The helicopters take their damn time, but eventually one lands (amazing it had the room what with them being in the middle of a forest road and all). Someone runs up to them, worried, and the sight of another person hurts in a way Chloe wasn't anticipating.
"Are either of you hurt?" he asks.
They both shake their head.
"We could use gas, though," Chloe says.
The man looks confused. "Are you...coming from Arcadia Bay?"
"Yes," Max says. "Did...anyone else--?" She stops abruptly.
"A few," the man says. "I...would you come with us, we can take you to a hospital, get you checked for shock or internal wounds--"
"Can we just get gas?" Chloe says.
"We were at the lighthouse," Max says. "Neither of us were in the path of the tornado. Nothing hit us. Can we get some gas?" A pause. "Please."
"This is really against policy..."
"Please," Max says.
He stares at them for a second more. "Can I have your names first, please? We need to report a list of the survivors."
Survivors, Chloe thinks.
"Max Caulfield and Chloe Price," Max says.
"Max Caulfield?" the man says. "Your parents were the ones who contacted us! We'll get you gas, but we're going to check in with you both sometime soon."
"Great," Chloe mutters.
The man leaves. "Well," Max says. "Back to civilization."
"Yeah," Chloe says. She takes a breath, and then says, "Weird to see someone else, though, right?"
Max nods. "Still us against the world?" she asks.
"Always," Chloe says.
--
The guy brings them a can of gas, offers two or three more times to take them to a hospital just to be sure, and only leaves alone once Chloe gets in the car and waits for him to get off the road so she can drive.
"We forgot to ask him for a toothbrush," Max says, and Chloe laughs.
--
They eventually get to the point where Chloe literally can't keep her eyes open, and they find the nearest hotel.
"Can I have a room?" Chloe asks the lady at the desk.
"Of course!" she says. With a glance at Max, she asks, "One bed or two?"
"Uh," Chloe says. On one hand, she really shouldn't presume, because it's not as if she deserves Max, but she's not sure she could fall asleep without a physical reminder that Max is still there. That Chloe's still there, even. That this isn't some alternate reality flashing across her mind right before she dies in a high school bathroom.
"Two," Max says softly. Chloe jumps.
Oh, Chloe thinks, and viciously clamps down her disappointment. She doesn't have a right to feel that way about someone who's already done so much for her.
The attendant leads her to their room, two uncomfortable-looking double beds with white sheets a stark contrast to the dark carpet. It looks like it'd be a cool photo. Chloe wonders if Max's camera is safe, or if she'll want to take pictures ever again after everything.
Chloe hopes she does. She can't really picture a happy Max without a camera in her hands.
Max flops down on the bed closest to the door almost immediately, and Chloe quietly steps past her and sits on the other bed. She knows she's not going to get any sleep despite the exhaustion she can feel deep in her bones, so she may as well get comfortable.
She ends up burrowing under the covers, sans jeans and boots and bra, and wishes she was a helluva lot warmer, because God, is she freezing without Max to cuddle with.
That's gay, Chloe.
It's completely inappropriate, given everything that's happened, but she has to stifle giggles, shoving her face into her pillow and hoping Max just thinks she's hiccuping or something.
The moment passes, and the room's silent except for Max's breathing. It definitely helps her relax, but she can't fall asleep, and from the way Max's breathing never gets slow and steady, Chloe's pretty sure the same can be said for her.
Different reasons, though. She just killed people for you, and all you can do is think about cuddling with her. Do you have any shame? She probably regrets it, that's why she's still awake--
Chloe hits her head against the headboard. Max sits up immediately, reaches out a hand as if she's about to rewind time.
"Are you okay?" she asks tensely.
"Yeah," Chloe says. "Just..." Her voice trails off.
Max, still sitting up, breathing quickly, nods. "Yeah," she says. "I can't fall asleep either."
Chloe makes a noise that could be vaguely interpreted as assent.
"It's..." Max falls silent. "It's cold, right?"
Chloe clears her throat. "Yeah."
"I just..." Max lays back down, but turns so that she's facing Chloe, eyes shining in the dim light from the window. She takes a breath and starts to talk more quickly than Chloe can really register. "Ifyoudon'twanttoIunderstandandyoudon'thavetobutI'mnotgonnafallasleepunlessyou'reherewithmebecauseIgotusedtoitandI'msorryI'lshutupnow."
"Max," Chloe says. "I--I have no clue what you just said to me."
Max takes a deep breath. "Do you wanna. Um. Share? The bed, I mean. I don't think I can sleep otherwise." Her voice gets quieter the longer she talks, until Chloe has to strain to listen.
Chloe swallows. Oh.
"Never mind," Max says, turning over. Chloe's sure she's blushing.
She gets up and out of her bed and collapses onto Max's. "Hey, Max?" she says.
"Yeah?" Max asks. Chloe's sure she's imagining the hitch in her voice.
"Were you seriously gonna go to bed without even taking your shoes off?"
Max laughs, sounding almost surprised about it.
--
When they wake up, Chloe's face is pressed into Max's neck, her arm is around Max waist, and Chloe's pretty sure she's about to die because God, they're spooning and Max is so cute.
She doesn't snore, but she mumbles in her sleep and it's complete nonsense, something about Goldfish and Hogwarts and watermelons on a cruise, and Chloe was only half-awake so it was hysterical. She muffles her laughs by pressing her face into Max's shoulder, and it's all so domestic Chloe could combust.
She never thought that was something she wanted. Domesticity. Max is a miracle worker in more ways than one.
Max yawns and stretches and Chloe grumbles, having been dislodged from her place cuddling Max.
"G'morning," Max says, definitely not fully awake.
"Morning," Chloe says. "Do we have to get up?"
"No," Max says. "Not really."
"Should we?" Chloe asks.
"Yeah," Max says. "Probably."
Chloe doesn't move. Max turns so that instead of spooning, they're face-to-face. Their noses are almost touching. Chloe's breath catches in her throat.
"I really want to kiss you," Max says, quietly, as if it's a secret. Maybe it is.
"Why don't you?" Chloe asks, not sure if it's a challenge or an actual question.
"Because you still haven't gotten that toothbrush," Max says. "And, to be honest, your morning breath isn't good on the best of days."
Chloe cackles, rolling so she's on her back and not her side. "Then that's priority number one."
Max nods, a small grin on her face.
--
They go to some convenience store and Chloe fills up on gas while Max goes in to pick up whatever it is they need. Chloe ignores the way her heart seizes when Max is out of her sight because that's super unhealthy and she still doesn't have a right to Max, but. Still. She's having a hard time getting the tornado out of her head.
Max comes back, looking anxious, and holding two huge bags.
"Jeez, Caulfield, what'd you get?" Chloe asks, ignoring the relief she feels at Max showing up again.
Max looks up at her and studies her face for a minute, as if she's reminding herself what Chloe looks like. "Toothbrushes for us both, toothpaste, breakfast, and portable phone chargers."
Chloe looks at the absolutely stuffed shopping bags and says, "And?"
Max smiles sheepishly. "And a lot of snacks because this is kind of like a road trip, right?"
Chloe laughs. "Yeah, okay. Hold on, though." She digs through the bag Max hands her and starts to head back for the store.
"Where are you going?" Max says, voice tense.
"Bathroom," Chloe says. "I gotta brush my teeth."
Max blinks at her for a second, then gets in the car, face not beet-red but definitely a little pink.
Chloe brushes her teeth and realizes she'd actually gotten used to the taste of vomit in her mouth, which is terrible and something she hopes she never has to think again. She's anxious in a way half-unfamiliar to her, and she realizes she's worried about her first kiss with Max.
(Second, actually--because she was just half-awake and unsure about how to deal with the fact that she wanted to kiss her best friend so she resorted to teasing because it wasn't like it would happen, except it did and Chloe was so shocked she didn't even respond, just froze before stepping back because oh my God, Max just kissed her.)
Was she--she was overthinking this, right? Max liked her. They did spend the night cuddling (at Max's suggestion). Max said she wanted to kiss her. Max destroyed an entire town for her.
She realizes she's been staring at her reflection for almost a minute now, and spits out the toothpaste left in her mouth.
Chloe walks outside to Max, who's sitting in the truck and trying to pretend she's not glancing at the door every few seconds.
Chloe knocks on Max's window, and Max rolls it down. They just look at each other for a second.
"Hi," Max says.
"Hi," Chloe says.
There's a silence, not exactly awkward but definitely not comfortable, and then Max mutters something and pushes herself out of the window to press her lips to Chloe's.
Chloe's about to freeze up (holy shit Max is kissing her again) but shoves her anxiety down and kisses back. It's a pretty chaste kiss, as kisses go, and Chloe's not sure if that's because they're going slow or because it's a little bit of an awkward angle, what with Max half-hanging out of a window. When they pull away, they lean their foreheads against each other's and just stare into each other's eyes.
It's a kind of intimacy Chloe hasn't had a lot of experience with, but neither has Max, so they're going to figure it out together.
"Chloe?" Max says.
"Yeah?"
"I love you," Max says.
"I love you so fucking much, Max--"
Max kisses her again, and it's nice, but Chloe also has to catch her so she doesn't fall out of the car window, and man, what a fucking dork.
They're both laughing a little too loudly for this out-of-the-way gas station in a forest, and the only other person in the parking lot is staring at them in abject horror (maybe they're at the conservative part of Oregon).
"D'you think you can get back in your seat through the window?" Chloe asks.
"Um," Max says, still giggling a little. "No?"
"Alright, grab onto my neck," Chloe says. Max does, and Chloe pulls her as gently as she can out of the window, till she's holding her bridal style, and she really didn't think this through.
Max grins and doesn't even tease her.
--
Max's parents are thrilled to see the pair of them. It makes sense, given...everything Chloe's still not thinking about. At first, Chloe's ready to take whatever little bit of money she has left on her card after the trip and go get a hotel room, but they're not having it.
"You can share with Max," Max's mom says.
"Oh, okay," Chloe says, as if she's not internally fist-bumping.
They both go to bed incredibly early, because God, they're still so tired, and Chloe may have slept but she doesn't think she's gotten any rest since she saw the tornado destroy everything she'd ever known.
Maybe now, though? They've reached the end of whatever journey they were on, and Chloe doesn't know exactly what that means for them, but hey, at least they made it.
Max's dad makes dinner. Chloe tries to be polite and impress the parents (that's what you're supposed to do when your maybe-girlfriend takes you to her house, right?), but it's so nice to have actual food after a day of garbage.
More than a day. Chloe doesn't eat well.
Still, there's some vegan burger in front of her and Chloe scarfs it down. Max laughs but does the same, and Max's parents are still too busy staring at Max with wide eyes to really register bad table manners.
--
"Hey, Max?" Chloe asks once they're back in Max's room, and she's finished teasing her about the dusty Polaroids on her desk, and they're cuddling (face-to-face, this time) on Max's bed.
"Yeah?" Max says, eyes soft.
"What happens now?"
Max sighs. "I...I mean, I guess I have to finish high school." She pauses. "Seems like it doesn't matter anymore, though.
"Yeah, but..." Chloe hesitates. "What happens...to me?" To us?
Max pushes herself up so she's leaning on her arm and looking down at Chloe. "You'll stay here with us for as long as you need to. And then...we get an apartment together? If you want, I mean! Because...if you don't want to get one, with me, I understand."
Chloe pulls Max back down and kisses her.
"I love you," Chloe says.
"I love you too," Max says.
--
Chloe gets a job as a mechanic. She comes back to the Caulfields' (not home, not yet, not ever, even) wearing one of Max's old T-shirts and jeans spattered with oil, and "helps" Max with her homework.
Helping mostly translates into distracting her with kisses, but hey, at least she's doing something.
Chloe is, surprisingly, not going out and spending all of her money on weed and cigarettes. She's saving up, which is something her mom would have been so happy to see. She wishes she could have.
About two weeks after the two of them arrive at the Caulfields, Ryan and Vanessa (Chloe finally remembered their names) sit them down and say they think they should see a therapist.
"Isn't the whole point honesty, though?" Chloe whispers to Max. "Not like we can do that."
"Be as honest as you can be?" Max says, sounding as if she's at as much of a loss as Chloe. "Don't mention--" (her voice drops even lower, so that Chloe can barely hear her) "--the time thing, but everything else?"
"Okay..." Chloe says.
--
Therapy is...nice. Chloe doesn't even punch the guy, though she comes close when he asks her if constantly thinking that she's not thinking about Arcadia Bay isn't just a roundabout way of thinking about it. Who the fuck does he think he is?
Someone who's supposed to get right to the heart of a traumatic experience.
Neither of them talk about it afterwards, but that's okay.
--
Max graduates seven months after they reach Seattle. In those seven months, Chloe redyes her hair twice, buys Max a new camera, and finds a place she thinks Max will like.
("It's perfect," Max says, pressing a kiss to Chloe's cheek. "You're perfect.)
Now that Max has actually graduated, it finally feels long-term, what they have. Chloe's nervous.
Moving day is both the worst and the happiest Chloe's been in a long time. They both fall trying to carry the mattress in, and Max drops a box of pots on Chloe's foot. (She offers to rewind. Chloe says it's okay.)
By the end of it, they're sitting in the middle of what is supposed to be a sofa but really, the directions make no sense. They're exhausted and frustrated and each have at least a couple bruises from their lack of coordination.
"Max, we have our own apartment," Chloe says.
Max nods, grinning.
Chloe kisses her, and Max kisses back, and Chloe finally isn't thinking about Arcadia Bay, for real, this time. All she's thinking about is the girl sitting next to her and the apartment they're about to share and how they're finally, finally together and happy.
"Hey, Max?" Chloe says, pulling away.
"Yeah?"
"We've never actually talked about this. Are we dating?"
Max laughs and leans in so they're touching foreheads. "I mean, we are moving in together. I should hope so."
Chloe kisses her again.