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Thinking that your best friend is pretty is normal, Seon Ok thinks. In fact, both of her best friends are pretty. Bok Joo, despite what she may say of herself, definitely has attractive, feminine features and cute, girly aspects to her loud personality, and Joon Hyung definitely raves about her looks enough that she should start believing him. Nan Hee puts in a lot of work to be pretty, and is entirely too adorable with her long hair in twin tails and her painted nails, even if at the end of a long training session her hard work is all mussed up. But even then, Seon Ok can't help but find that Nan Hee also looks pretty when she's lifting weights, putting in all her strength. She's pretty when she's sweating at the end of the day and drinking to stay hydrated. She's pretty when they get back to their dorm room and they fall ungracefully in their respective beds, she's pretty when they stay up late at night talking…
In any case, thinking that her best friends are pretty just means that Seon Ok loves and supports them in a totally platonic way, right? It's especially normal for her attention to be completely captured by Nan Hee sometimes, for her to want to cuddle her. They're friendly, they're all over each other, it's their thing. It's fine, and Seon Ok is definitely not jealous when all Nan Hee can talk about is boys.
***
Okay, so maybe she's a bit jealous. Bok Joo gets busier and busier with competitions, so more often than not, it's just Seon Ok and Nan Hee in the evenings. It gives Seon Ok a lot of time (too much time) to think about Nan Hee and everything about her. Her laugh is so damn cute, and she's so bright, so positive, Seon Ok feels like she's constantly graced with the presence of the sun. It's a lot, and it's hard for Seon Ok not to start to fall in love a bit.
She doesn't realize what's happening until one night, similar to so many others they've had without Bok Joo. Even though Seon Ok is more and more uncomfortable with boy talk, she lets Nan Hee indulge. It's her thing, and who is she to deny her best friend indulging in her hobby?
Nan Hee is sitting on her bed with a pillow in her arms. "If we're going to be real here," she announces with mischief, "kissing is how you know if he's a keeper."
Seon Ok frowns from her bed and tosses her a cheese puff. Nan Hee catches it easily in her mouth.
"How would you know?" Seon Ok points out. "It's not like you've ever kissed anyone."
"Neither have you, Seon Ok," Nan Hee counters, still chewing on the cheese puff.
Seon Ok sticks out her tongue at her, but suddenly all she can look at is Nan Hee's lips, and the thought of kissing her is suddenly. Very. Present. It's so vivid, Seon Ok recoils a bit. Wow, okay then.
"If you kiss and you don't get butterflies in your stomach," Nan Hee carries on, oblivious, "then doesn't that show that it's doomed from the start? That there's absolutely no chemistry between the two of you?"
"Uh-huh," manages Seon Ok, suddenly very focused on her cheese puffs and not looking at Nan Hee's lips. At. All.
"Are you even listening?" pouts Nan Hee. "You should be, what with Tae Kwon hovering all over you lately, " she mutters.
Seon Ok splutters at that, choking on her cheese puff and then laughing out loud. "Tae Kwon?? Nan Hee, if he's interested in anyone it's you," she smiles.
Nan Hee responds with a Look™. "Please, you're the cool, tall, and pretty one of us two, of course he's more interested in you. Don't tell me you're that oblivious."
"But…" Seon Ok hesitates. She really hadn't noticed. "… even if that's true, aren't you interested in him? You should go for it." Supporting your friends is important, even if you do have an inconvenient crush on them.
"Girl, I'm just broadening my chances of getting with someone by charming every guy with all my might, you should know this by now," Nan Hee laughs.
"If you say so," Seon Ok frowns. Nan Hee didn't seem to act differently around guys, she always assumed that her bubbly personality was entirely natural. Weird.
"Anyway," Nan Hee continues, "if I could get someone half as good to me as Joon Hyung is to Bok Joo, I'd be happy. She really scored a good one. Kim Bok Joo swag."
"Swag," agrees Seon Ok.
***
Seon Ok spends the next couple of weeks decidedly not thinking about Nan Hee in That way, and everything is cool and fine and swag, especially when Bok Joo comes back on the weekends and Mr Kim treats everyone to chicken at the family restaurant.
It all goes well until Tae Kwon approaches her as she's alone and asks her out to a movie.
She pretends not to understand. "Yeah sure! Lemme ask Nan Hee when she's available-"
"No!" Tae Kwon jumps to grab her hand as she pulls out her phone.
Seon Ok startles and stares in mild confusion at this outburst.
"I mean," he continues, "I want it to be just us. As a date. I'm asking you out."
"Oh. Uh." Seon Ok's mind is rushing because 1) she's never been asked out before, 2) Tae Kwon is supposed to be interested in Nan Hee, not her, even after that talk, and 3) she's still massively crushing on Nan Hee. What the heck.
Seeing her puzzled look, Tae Kwon rushes to add: "It doesn't have to be more than one date, I just, I think you're really cool and I'd like to go on at least one date with you, if you're okay with it, I promise it can stay casual." His face is beet red by now, and Seon Ok's not sure how much better off she is.
She breathes slowly in. Then out. She tries to smile as naturally as possible. "Okay," she manages to say.
Tae Kwon stares a bit, before getting a hold of himself and starting off on the when and what of the date.
Seon Ok nods along, a bit nervously. It can't hurt to go on a single date and get some experience. Plus, she hopes, maybe this'll help her forget about how kissable Nan Hee is.
***
The day of the date goes well, until she meets up with Tae Kwon and they start to walk off campus. Seon Ok has never been good at small talk, but this is just torture. It doesn't help that she flinches when he tries to hold her hand. Way to go, great first date so far.
She's about to apologize when they both spot Nan Hee coming their way. They share a panicked look, but before they can engage an escape plan, she spots them.
"You guys!" she skips towards them. "What are you two up to?"
"Uh we're…" starts Tae Kwon.
"We're going to the movies!" Seon Ok cuts in, and tries to ignore the even more panicked look Tae Kwon throws at her, but mentally she curses herself, what the fuck, why would you say the truth in this situation.
"Omg what are we seeing? There's this new action movie…" Nan Hee rambles, already starting to walk ahead of the awkward couple, scrolling through her phone for showings.
Behind her, Seon Ok shoots an apologetic glance at Tae Kwon and grimaces at the crestfallen look on his face.
As they follow Nan Hee on her unstoppable path to the movie theater, Tae Kwon sighs, but eventually tries to appear as upbeat as usual. Seon Ok can tell it's forced though, and the tension between them throughout the whole outing is palpable. Between feeling guilty about how she treated Tae Kwon and Nan Hee running a constant commentary, seated between them, she can hardly concentrate on the movie. If Nan Hee notices anything, she's doing a convincing job of pretending she doesn't.
***
Despite knowing full well that there's no possible way she can avoid this conversation indefinitely, Seon Ok still tries her best. She makes sure Nan Hee is around when she sees Tae Kwon approaching her, and when she isn't, well, she just runs or hides and hopes he didn't see her.
In the end, he manages to catch her off-guard. She's sitting in the cafeteria, waiting for Nan Hee to finish deciding on her lunch menu, when she feels a hand drop on her shoulder and nearly jumps out of her skin.
"You know," Tae Kwon says softly, though there's enough noise to cover up this conversation, "you could have just rejected me and then you wouldn't have to make things so awkward."
Seon Ok opens her mouth, but can't think of what to say. A good ten seconds pass in awkward silence before Tae Kwon sighs and sits down next to her. "Like I said, it was just meant to be casual, try my luck. I shouldn't have though, seeing as you obviously can't think about anyone but Nan Hee."
Seon Ok is still gaping. "Tae Kwon... Is it that obvious?" She finally manages. She really should be apologizing for her behavior, but this is not what she was expecting and she's been trying to hide it for a while, sue her.
He shoots her a look and bursts out laughing. "Aw man, you should see your face right now." He chuckles and shakes his head. "Yeah, it's that obvious. You two should make our life easier and have a talk, you know."
Seon Ok frowns at that, but before she can ask what he means, Nan Hee finally bursts into the table's area, Joon Hyung and Bok Joo in tow.
"Look who's here, guys!!" Nan Hee exclaims, and Seon Ok barely has any time to recover before she's high-fiving Bok Joo and being overwhelmed by the excited chatter. It's been a while since Bok Joo has been able to eat with them, and of course Joon Hyung would never pass up on this opportunity to be with her.
"What were you two laughing about?" Bok Joo inquires , mouth full of rice, wiggling her eyebrows at Seon Ok.
"Yeah," Joon Hyung butts in, all the while transferring meat from his plate to Bok Joo's, "it's unusual for you two to be alone."
Nan Hee is quiet, chewing on her meat with an expectant look in her eyes.
"Hey, it's not our fault you guys take forever piling up your food, we were about to die of boredom," Tae Kwon states through a fake yawn, and as the table devolves into teasing and shouted "yah"s, Seon Ok mouths a "I'm sorry, thank you" at him. Tae Kwon just smiles and glances purposefully at Nan Hee. "Talk," he mouths back, and Seon Ok swallows her rice with difficulty.
***
As nice as Tae Kwon has been about this, "talk" is easier said than done. For one thing, it's hard to remember to talk about serious stuff with Nan Hee when Seon Ok enjoys just hanging out and goofing around with her so much. For another, the possibility of being rejected is very real, and then what would they do? They're roommates, wouldn’t things become awkward? Or would their best friendship remain strong enough to move past the fact that Seon Ok has a very much one-sided crush and will probably keep pining? Seon Ok doesn't know which possible outcome is worse.
She would be lying though, if she said that she didn't have some hope. Tae Kwon had been encouraging her (subtly) as best as he could, and Nan Hee might just be too nice of person to reject her and her friendship completely.
Seon Ok wishes she had asked Bok Joo the details on how she and Joon Hyung had gotten together, but Bok Joo was always away and she would rather die than ask Joon Hyung for any advice.
Nan Hee keeps talking about boys regularly, as one would expect. This particular evening, Nan Hee is flat on her belly on the beanbag chair of their dorm room, Seon Ok just laying down spread eagle on her bed, exhausted after a long day of practice. New competitions are coming up and Coach Choi has come up with a training plan that seems specially devised to make everyone go straight to bed after practice. Not Nan Hee though, apparently, she still has the energy to talk despite neither of them having enough strength to sit up and look at each other.
"Man," starts Nan Hee, "it seems like everyone's going off and dating these days."
Seon Ok grunts in response. It was true though, Valentine's day had just passed and people were now off with their newly obtained dates. Seon Ok hadn't dared gift anything to Nan Hee that might be interpreted as a romantic interest, staying content with their traditional chocolate binge eating. Seon Ok was beginning to think she might just be able to get over this crush soon, even though literally all she could think about during the rare times that she wasn't with Nan Hee was hanging out with her again.
"Even you've been getting all cosy with Tae Kwon and you haven't told me anything about it, it's like Bok Joo and her crush all over again," Nan Hee whines.
"Um." Seon Ok finally sits up. Nan Hee is looking at her with a sad puppy look on her face. Not good. "What?" Is what Seon Ok settles on saying, both completely dumbfounded by this situation and unsure how she should respond.
Nan Hee immediately frowns and... is that a sneer??? Definitely not good.
"Please, I'm not blind, you think I didn't know you guys were going on a date that one time at the movies? Ugh and he's been hanging around you so much when I'm not there, don't even try-"
"Okay," Seon Ok cuts in. She doesn't want to start an argument but she also REALLY does not want this conversation to go the way it's going right now. "First of all, it's not like that-"
"So you guys weren't on a date, yeah right."
"Yes, no! I mean," a deep breath, "I mean that yes he asked me out on a date," disappointment on Nan Hee's face, "and yes we almost went together." Confusion this time. Seon Ok chuckles. "You ended up coming with us, remember? Wasn't much of a date, in the end."
"Oh." Nan Hee has the decency to look a bit sheepish. "I'm sorry about your date. Tell me..." she trails off. "Tell me next time you go on another one," she finally finishes, looking like she just sucked on a lemon.
"There won't be a next time, Nan Hee," Seon Ok grunts as she lays back down on her bed, eyes closed. She really is exhausted. "I wasn't that interested to begin with."
"Ok," Nan Hee responds quietly.
Seon Ok thinks that Nan Hee has fallen asleep in the quiet that follows, and honestly she's about to fall asleep herself, at she hears Nan Hee push herself off the bean bag chair and sit on her bed.
"Seon Ok?" Nan Hee asks.
Seon Ok grunts in response. There's a moment of silence again before Nan Hee continues.
"... you'd tell me if there was somebody you liked, right?"
That wakes Seon Ok up. She opens her eyes and turns her head to look at her best friend. Nan Hee is sitting cross-legged on the edge of the bed closest to Seon Ok's, looking at her with a strange look on her face, fingers scratching at her chipped nail polish.
Seon Ok sits up slowly and mirrors Nan Hee's pose. She can't look at her though, and she can feel her heart beat faster and her face get warmer.
To be honest she had never actually considered confessing to Nan Hee. Aside from the whole "she's probably straight" dilemma, getting rejected would bring with it a whole lot of awkwardness from sharing the same group of friends, let alone the same dorm room. Would they even be able to be friends after something like that?
But at the same time, Seon Ok didn't want to lie to her best friend.
Quietly, Seon Ok breaks the silence. "Promise you won't laugh? And we'll still be friends?" She cringes internally. She's being so childish, completely uncool, what is this, elementary school?
But then Nan Hee comes to sit down next to her and holds out her pinky. "Promise," she says, with reassurance in her voice.
The proximity isn't really helping Seon Ok stay calm, but she links her pinky with Nan Hee's and they seal the promise with their thumbs. Seon Ok's childish request being honored with an equally childish tradition reassures her. Nan Hee knows her well.
Okay. Show time.
"Nan Hee," she starts, wanting to look at the girl next to her but finding herself looking down in embarrassment, her gaze falling on where their hands lay close to each other still. "I like you," she finishes. There. Done. But then she glances up to see Nan Hee staring with her mouth hanging open and her brain launches her into rambling mode to try and salvage the situation, looking away again. "I mean, yes, I like you, like, a lot, and not just as a friend I mean, you don't have to respond oh my god just forget it you don't even like girls anyway and I-"
"Seon Ok," Nan Hee interrupts her gently, placing her hand on her shoulder. "Calm down."
Seon Ok shuts up at that. She still can't look at Nan Hee, and she's breathing a bit heavily. But then Nan Hee gently puts her hand on her cheek, and Seon Ok looks up. Nan Hee is smiling at her in a way which can only described as fond.
"I like you too."
It's Seon Ok's turn to state with her mouth hanging open. And her face is somehow growing even warmer. She must look like a tomato by now. Nan Hee's smile turns increasingly mischievous.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me you had a crush on me," she playfully pouts at Seon Ok.
"You- I mean," Seon Ok stutters, "I didn't even know you were into girls?? You only ever talk about guys! I can't believe this- how could you make me think I had fallen for a straight girl this entire time?" The rush of relief leaves her laughing, a bit too loud but genuine. Oh man, Bok Joo was gonna have a field day with this.
Nan Hee is laughing too. "I thought that you were straight and didn't want to make things awkward!"
"You thought I was straight?" Seon Ok manages between wheezes.
They're both laughing really hard at that again. Nan Hee is holding Seon Ok's hand. It's nice, Seon Ok thinks. She's been thinking about making out with this girl for a long while sure, but even this kind of affection, with a new meaning behind it, is a dream come true.
"So," Seon Ok says, after they've both calmed down and are just holding hands smiling at each other like goons, "Nan Hee, do you want to be my girlfriend?"
This time it's Nan Hee who goes bright red and she squees. Seon Ok knows this is exactly what she wanted to hear.
"Of course!" Comes the excited response
She throws her arms around Seon Ok's neck and pulls her closer, pausing and looking up at her. Seon Ok's heart feels like it's running a marathon in her chest, but she is not going to let this opportunity pass.
She smiles at her girlfriend (!!!) and leans in the rest of the way, planting a gentle, closed-lipped kiss on the other girl's soft lips. Nan Hee is a little tense, Seon Ok knows this is her first kiss, but she relaxes after a moment. The reciprocation is clumsy by Seon Ok is completely taken in, still in awe at her luck. Her body feels like it's positively vibrating from happiness.
She fervently hopes that Nan Hee is feeling those butterflies too.
***
Of course, it's impossible to keep something like this from the team for any decent amount of time. Seon Ok suspects that Tae Kwon, who she told the news to to get him off her back, told Joon Hyung, who in turn told Bok Joo, who then messaged the whole team about it in retaliation for not telling her first. She has to admit that it's nice to be open about it, even if when they first walked into the practice room they were greeted by wolf whistling and they still regularly get told to "get a room" if they so much as look at each other for too long. Coach Yoon grumbles something about dating being distracting for competitions, but really he's beaming like a proud parent. Seon Ok isn't sure what Coach Choi thinks of it until she lures them alone into the office and attempts to give them advice for safe lesbian sex, upon realizing which both girls escape with shouts of really needing to do extra practice for the competition. They both love Coach Choi, but they really do not need to hear about this from her.
"Won't the dorm mother try to separate you guys?" Joon Hyung asks one lunch when Bok Joo is back.
"Nah," Seon Ok replies through a mouthful of rice, "she didn't really seem to care."
"She even mentioned that she'd make sure to have us room together again next year if we ask for it," adds Nan Hee.
"Dude, we need to tell the guys back at the dorm," Tae Kwon points out to Joon Hyung, "it would make a lot of them happy to know they wouldn't be thrown out if they were open."
Joon Hyung nods. "Yeah maybe then they could finally get all that sexual tension out and stop making the rest of us uncomfortable by making doe eyes at each other everywhere," he complains.
Bok Joo shoves him at that, laughing loudly. "Yah, you're one to talk."
"Oh?" Joon Hyung grins and wiggled his eyebrows. "Are you suggesting we need to get some sexual tension out?"
"Get a room!" The other three shout at the same time, only for Bok Joo to shout back "take your own advice!" at the girls across the table.
Nan Hee only laughs back and grabs Seon Ok's face to plant a kiss right on her lips, completely unashamed. Everyone's laughing good-naturedly and Seon Ok intertwines her fingers with Nan Hee's under the table.
She could get used to feeling this happy.