Chapter Text
The lawyer looks up from his desk to hear a knocking at his door and then glances, puzzled, at his intercom, wondering why his assistant didn’t inform him of a visitor. He jumps up from his desk in a position to defend himself when he sees one of those idiots from that bar in downtown Philly sheepishly poke his head into the office.
“No, no, no, no, no!” he barks, pointing a finger at the door. “I’ve had enough of you people, do you hear me? I want nothing more to do with you.”
The man’s face breaks into a wide grin before he waltzes in, slamming the door closed. His tee shirt is dirtied and looks like it hasn’t been washed in weeks and the army shirt over it doesn’t look to be in much better condition. His eyes sparkle in the way only someone who is truly simple can and his hair is mussed messily up out of his face. He beams at the lawyer. “Hey, lawyer dude! Thank god I found you. I’ve been wandering around this building all day looking for you. You know this place is, like, huge?”
“There’s a giant sign out front with my name and office number.”
“Yeah, reading’s not exactly my strong point. Also—not totally sure what your first name is.”
“It’s on every document I’ve ever given you!” The lawyer exclaims, frustrated. “I’ve told you all multiple times!”
“Yeah, but lawyer is easier to remember. It is what you do, after all.”
“Yes, thank you, barman.”
“Oh, no, man, my name’s Charlie.” Charlie smiles and bats his eyelashes. “Charlie Kelly. At your service.”
“Yes, well, I have no business with you. Please tell your friends that I have no time for whatever dispute you all want to settle in whatever questionable way you’ve created. Also, whatever they’re doing to my receptionist is probably immoral and almost definitely illegal and I will take action against them the first chance I get.”
“What, who, Carol? She’s right outside. She’s a sweetheart. Her cat’s sick. I helped her out.” Charlie smiles innocuously. “My friends aren’t here. It’s just me today.”
“Fine,” the lawyer says, slumping down in his chair and making a mental note to fire Carol. “What is it this time? Make it quick; I’m very busy.”
“Oh, I don’t have anything specific.” Charlie falls into the cushy chair opposite of the lawyer. He smiles excitedly. “I thought we could just hang out.”
“Hang out?” the lawyer asks in disgust. “What makes you think that I would ever want to hang out with you?”
“Come on, man, we have fun! We had good times!” Charlie’s face falls in the slightest. “Plus, I kind of got into a fight with my friends.”
“Oh, joy.” The lawyer rolls his eyes. “Do tell.”
“I’m just sick of them telling me what to do all the time, y’know?” Charlie blurts out, obviously not recognizing the sarcasm in the lawyer’s tone. “They tell me to clean the bathrooms, so then I clean the bathrooms. They tell me to get rid of the rat shit, I get rid of the rat shit. They ask me to wash my hands, and I don’t, and suddenly I owe them something? Screw that shit, man. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of them. They’re all a bunch of assholes.”
“Oh, I didn’t actually care. But thank you for sharing.”
“So,” Charlie perks up again and leans over the desk. “What’re you working on now? Anything I can help with? Maybe some bird law? I’m really good at bird law, dude.”
“No, nothing about bird law. Mainly because that doesn’t actually exist.” The lawyer exhales deeply and holds his head in his hands. “Is there any chance of you leaving here anytime soon so I can work in peace?”
“Ah, come on, man, don’t be like that! I brought beer and everything.”
“It’s ten AM.”
“Sorry, Mr. Prince of Egypt, didn’t realize I was in the midst of royalty. More for me, then.” He throws his legs over one of the chair’s arms and rests his back against the other before cracking the top of a beer open and taking a worryingly long gulp. The lawyer watches him in horror. “So, ah, how’s your day going?”
The lawyer blinks a few times before answering cautiously, “Fine.”
“Cool, cool, cool,” Charlie nods awkwardly, taking another sip from his bottle. “Is it always this quiet in this place?”
“That does tend to happen in a regular work scenario when you don’t have five idiots desperately trying to scream over each other.”
“Guess it’s a good thing you have me to keep you company, then.” Charlie beams at him.
The lawyer looks up from his paperwork and refuses to acknowledge the slight way his cheeks turn red and heart speed up at the sight of Charlie’s lips wrapping around the head of his beer bottle. He coughs and directs his attention away, gritting his teeth as he skims the page but can’t seem to absorb the words.