Work Text:
“If you'll excuse me, Jim.”
“Sure, Spock,” he replied absent mindedly still watching his would be lover, sadness and resignation in his eyes.
Spock was also watching the good doctor, and he made his way over to where he and Scotty were talking and toasting the Enterprise. Despite what the Captain had said about their interaction that morning, Leonard seemed in good spirits. Except, when he turned to acknowledge his arrival, his humor was not reflected in his eyes. The spirit and intensity that he showed while on Altamid was completely gone.
“Leonard,” Spock greeted, “I just learned something about you that I was not aware of before.”
“Yeah, Spock, what would that be?” he asked, sounding somewhat suspicious.
“I did not know you had a daughter. The Captain said her name was Joanna. If you have a picture of her, I would like to see it, if you are amenable.”
“Well, Spock, I'd be happy to show you a picture of my little girl,” he replied, pulling an old fashioned wallet from his back pocket and removing a paper picture of a dark haired girl with pig tails, freckles and hazel eyes. The light had returned to his eyes, Spock was pleased to see.
“She looks much like you,” he said after handing the photo back. “She is a beautiful child.”
“Thanks, Spock. I didn't know you had any interest in children, except in the theoretical sense; the idea of repopulation.”
“Indeed, I am much concerned about the repopulation of the Vulcan species. However, even had the tragedy not occurred, I would have liked to become a father someday, after my time aboard the Enterprise.”
“So I guess we should be expecting you and Miss Uhura to have some little Vulcans in a few years,” he smiled.
“I am afraid that that will not be the case. Nyota and I decided to remain friends, but our romantic association is no longer. Permanently, this time.”
“Oh, Spock, I really am sorry,” he said, and unlike last time, he did look sorry, possibly sympathizing in light of his own recent heartbreak.
“There is no need,” he replied in a softer tone. “Sometimes, relationships simply come to an end, especially if the two involved have very different ideas of what the future will hold for them. Nyota wishes to have a long career in Star Fleet. And while I desire the same thing, her career will best benefit from long, deep space exploration while mine will allow for shorter missions and a return to teaching at the Academy. This would allow me to start a family.”
“But what about love, Spock,” McCoy asked, though it sounded more like a statement to Spock's ears. “Despite the robot act, I know you loved her. Can you turn it off, just like that?”
“No, of course not,” he replied. “I still love her, but I accepted that simply was not enough. She and I will both move on.”
Suddenly, Leonard scowled at him and Spock felt as if he had been caught cheating in class. It was a very disconcerting feeling.
“What else did Jim tell you?” he asked, the accusation in his voice, his eyes looking for the errant Captain. Spock turned as well, but Jim had finally stopped watching the doctor and was having an animated conversation with the Sulus.
“I do not know of what you speak,” technically, not a lie. He didn't know, for certain, if Leonard meant what had happened that morning.
“Cut the horseshit,” he growled. “This speech sounds an awful lot like one that's given to try and help someone get perspective on having their heart broken.”
“I assure you, Doctor, that I was sharing real events and real emotions; not something invented for a speech to reassure you. The universe does not revolve around you.”
“I didn't say it did! And I didn't say you were lying, but I don't believe you would have shared all this with me if Jim hadn't told you!”
“Really, Doctor. After what we went through together on Altamid, after you saw me at my most vulnerable, you would still think that my sharing something so personal with you would be a contrivance?”
“Forget it, Spock.” Leonard waved him away in frustration, turning his back to leave. Spock, seeing how awry the situation had gone, made a quick decision and grabbed McCoy's arm, turning him back towards him.
“Jim did tell me of your unfortunate encounter this morning,” he admitted. “However, I hope you can believe me that it was not the catalyst for my sharing these thoughts with you. Only in determining when. I had planned on informing you of what has recently transpired between Nyota and myself at a later time in a more private setting.”
“Oh, sorry Spock. I understand.”
“I do not believe you do. I was planning on sharing this information because I have recently come to believe that you and I would be compatible as a romantic couple. However, while I have resolved my feelings about Nyota, I realize now that you are only just coming out of a relationship and will need time.”
“We weren't in a relationship,” Leonard countered, not meeting Spock's eyes.
“He wasn't,” Spock replied, gently, “but you were. His lack of participation does not make your feelings any less legitimate.”
Leonard looked back up at him and his eyes were sad again. As illogical as the desire was, Spock wished that he could eliminate the sadness and return the sparkle. It was much preferable.
“Thanks, Spock,” McCoy finally said, and Spock realized he was thanking him for simply understanding. “I... I don't know when I'm going to be ready to date, though. Right now, I honestly believe I never will be. Don't think I can get over him. And if I do? Not sure I want to risk my heart like that again. I've already done that twice and, well, eventually a person learns.”
“Perhaps a person can learn to stay away from blonds.”
Leonard laughed loudly, shocked by the absurdity of Spock's statement.
“How did you know Jocelyn was a blond?”
“I find that most Humans have a 'type.'”
“Well, hell, maybe you're right,” McCoy smiled.
“Finally, you acknowledge it,” Spock returned, just to see his smile and eye-roll.
“Sure, Hobgoblin, sure.”
He didn't know when Leonard would be ready to be wooed, but Spock knew he would be, someday. He found that needing to wait would be eminently acceptable.
The End