Chapter Text
Adil liked watching Toby. He didn’t know why he had become so drawn to the young Hamilton brother in the first place, all he knew was one day he started looking and he couldn’t stop. To begin with he had tried his best not to, but in the end he gave into temptation. He always made sure he was discrete so that Toby wouldn’t notice. So that nobody would notice. Even if it was busy he would make a point to sneak a few glances. He didn’t care that he was his boss and it was all sorts of wrong to be feeling the way he was feeling. It wasn’t hurting anybody. Adil lived for the days and nights when Toby was in the bar. Especially if he was alone. Not so much if he was there with yet another lady his mother was trying to set him up with.
Adil knew that Toby was like him. Well, he didn’t have any real evidence but when you like men in a world where it is illegal to do so, similar minded people aren’t exactly jumping at the chance to reveal themselves. Adil had gotten very good at reading the signs over the years, and he had almost always been correct with his assumptions.
Just as Adil was watching Toby, so was Toby watching a particularly attractive solider. He was tall, dark and handsome and still donned his uniform. Exactly how Adil imagined Toby would have looked if he had signed up to fight. Adil had to admit that he was beautiful, he had also noticed him as soon as he had walked in the door. Of course that’s what Toby’s type would be though, not a small, scrawny Indian barman like him. He was kidding himself if he thought Toby would ever be interested in him. He couldn’t stop himself from hoping though.
It was late. Toby was on his 4th or 5th drink. He was alone. Adil liked when Toby was drunk, as bad as that made him sound. The alcohol made him more at ease, more open and more likely to confide in Adil. He didn’t normally care for gossip, but always found himself curious as to what was going on in the other man’s life. Tonight he was complaining about another one of the women his Mother had introduced him to.
“She’s lovely, she really is. It’s just my mother is trying to push us together, force us to be something we’re not. I mean, I don’t really know how she feels about me, but I can only ever see us being just friends. I know the war is over now and it’s important for me to find a wife, but it’s such a waste of everyone’s time…” he ranted, his voice rather louder than normal. He was lucky that none of his family were around to hear him. Important for you to find a wife, or important for your family? Adil wanted to ask, but he held his tongue.
“Some people say drink to forget, I say drink to remember…” Adil said, as he poured Toby another drink. Toby smiled slightly, shrugging his shoulders.
“Remember what?” He questioned.
“Maybe that being Toby Hamilton is something pretty special,” he answered, looking Toby in the eye. Their hands brushed as Toby reached for the glass, but neither of them pulled away. Toby smiled, a faint blush evident on his cheeks.
They remained like that for a few moments, as if they were frozen in time and completely alone, until Adil was called to serve another customer. Toby quickly averted his eyes, looking embarrassed.
As Adil turned away he couldn’t help grinning to himself. He loved seeing Toby smile, and even better if he was the one to put it there. He didn’t smile nearly enough, thought Adil, so it always made Adil’s heart soar when he was able to evoke one.
As he made up another drink, he took a moment to glance around the room. It was quite busy, but that wasn’t unusual nowadays. With the fighting over and the men home you’d be hard to come by a subdued bar void of celebrations, especially in London.
Freddie had arrived a few hours ago with a fair bunch of his war colleagues. They had all been discharged a few weeks ago, but celebration was definitely still in the air as they enjoyed their time together before they went their separate ways. The man that Toby was so interested in was part of his group, which made Adil wonder if the two of them had ever crossed paths before tonight. Who knows what the mysterious Toby could be hiding? If he did have secrets, he definitely would not be confiding them to the barman, that’s for sure.
The night progressed in a sort of circular fashion. Toby would order a drink from Adil and nurse it while he (not so discretely) watched the man as he laughed and joked with his friends. Adil doubted anyone else would have noticed, it’s only because he spent so much time observing Toby that he could tell the difference. He would finish his drink and then shift around a bit on the bar stool he occupied, more often than not whilst wringing his hands together. Adil could tell that he was trying to muster up the courage to go and talk to the gentlemen, but every time he would just sigh and turn around before ordering another. It was frustrating to watch.
At one point Freddie’s friend must have caught his eye, because all of a sudden Toby was flushed and concentrating his gaze firmly on the surface of the bar. His back was now turned to the rest of the room, but while Adil tended to the other customers he watched as the man whispered something in Freddie’s ear who then got up and started making his way over to where his brother sat.
“Lord Hamilton…” Adil prompted Toby, not wanting him to be overwhelmed when Freddie arrived. Toby glanced up.
“Toby, come join us! You must be lonely here sitting all by yourself. They don’t bite, I promise,” he laughed, slapping his palm across Toby’s back in a friendly manner. Adil wasn’t surprised that Freddie has misinterpreted Toby’s longing for one of comradery rather than lust.
“No, no. It’s quite alright. I was just heading up anyway,” he declined, shaking his head.
“Toby, you’re such a bore,” Freddie whined, but didn’t push the subject any further, probably knowing that he wouldn’t be able to change his mind. Toby wasn’t the most social, which is why his twin was a lot more suited to being the one in charge.
“One of these days I’ll get you to come out with me, just you wait!” He promised, before heading back to his pals who were obviously missing his company.
“Not a chance,” Adil heard Toby mutter under his breath. Adil knew the feeling. The places that Freddie went to weren’t exactly fun for people like him.
Even though he assured Freddie that he was leaving, Toby made no move to change his position. In fact, his glass was still almost full.
“I hate it when he does that. His friends don’t want me barging in on their party. When is he going to accept the fact that I’m not like him?” Toby remarked.
“He’s just trying to look out for you,” Adil replied, defending Freddie. It’s what brother’s do, they look out for each other.
“Yeah, well, I don’t need his pity,” Toby mumbled bitterly.
Adil had been a barman for many years, so he had become an expert on knowing when someone had had too much to drink. Once Toby was over his limit, he became irritable and hostile. Sometimes he would pick fights, like after his Father died. Adil made it his job to make sure that never happened again, because it only caused embarrassment.
“I think that’s enough for you tonight, Mr Hamilton?” he suggested, but Toby seemed to be oblivious and didn’t hear him. While Adil had been worrying about the other man’s wellbeing, he had turned back to his brother and now had a very prominent frown on his face.
Adil followed his gaze, and realised the group had been joined by several very pretty, very well-dressed ladies. One of them had found residence on the lap of the man Toby had been admiring all night. They both watched as she giggled at something he said before he leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. So, not a secret lover then.
This seemed to be the last straw for Toby. He rapidly downed his drink before stumbling out of his seat, the bar stool sliding over the floor. They were so close together that Adil could see the tears that had formed in Toby’s eyes. Oh Toby, what is going on? He thought to himself sadly.
“I’m just going to…” Toby started, but seemed to get stuck on his words.
“Thank you. For the drinks. Goodnight,” Toby bade him goodbye.
Adil didn’t want to over step the line he had created from the day he realised he was attracted to Toby. He’d spent far too long being occupied with Toby this evening as it was, he should just let him go. But he couldn’t bare to see him look so upset and lonely and... broken.
Before he could think any more about it, he grabbed onto Toby’s wrist as he made a move to leave.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Toby,” Adil told him sincerely, looking him in the eyes.
Toby hesitated for a moment, his mouth falling open slightly as he took in the meaning of Adil’s words. Adil had been subtly dropping hints for months, surely Toby understood by now that they were the same? Suddenly, Toby yanked his arm away forcefully.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Toby snapped.
Adil sighed. Not wanting to push the matter, he gave his boss a small, reassuring smile before replying.
“You will.”