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Dan
I spend at least three days thinking things over before actually going through with anything. People sometimes assumed I was the fun spontaneous one, and that Phil was more mature and responsible. It was probably because he was older, and more innocent, but it wasn’t the way things worked with us. Phil randomly bought things we didn’t need at Tesco at three in the morning. I planned tweets three days in advance. We balanced each other out, and that was fine by us.
The thing the annoyed me about my planning was the process. The outcome was generally fine, but the process was a pain in the ass. The first day was thinking over what I would say, or do, or buy, and the reasons why it was a good and bad idea. If I ended up deeming it a good idea, the next day I would go through the cycle of “Should I ask? Should I really do this? Do I actually want to buy this? What are the pros? Do they outweigh the cons?” And so forth.
But the third day was when I actually grew up and made myself do whatever the thing was that I had been planning. And this time, it was a makeup video.
The first day I thought of it, I mapped out the video, scrapping the idea about nine times before I finally realized I’d need help on this one. So then I planned on asking Louise, and then planned how I would, and thought over what she would say. The second day was a long and tedious series of “Would she agree? Can I really go through with uploading this video, or will it sit in a folder on my laptop in pieces like so many other past videos? How much makeup should I do? Should I upload a picture first? Should I drop hints? Does anyone suspect this?” Every question was a long and tedious decision, and I could tell Phil knew I was up to something.
I didn’t want to tell him, though, for whatever reason. I felt like I had to be sneaky, and surprise him along with everyone else. I knew Phil was so proud of how far I’d come, and I knew that this video would make his day. He loved seeing me break gender roles, and I loved seeing him smile.
Finally, the third day came, and I made sure Phil wasn’t eavesdropping when I called Louise.
“Hey, Lou,” I said immediately, not letting her answer her own phone. It was a game we’d been playing for a few years now, and it was silly but tradition to us.
Louise giggled into the phone, knowing I’d won this round. “Hello, Dan. How’re you guys? The unpacking going well?”
I snorted into the phone, picking up a pillow to muffle a scream before calmly answering, “Of course. Couldn’t be better. We so love boxes. And mess. And organizing.”
Louise cracked up, making me smile with her genuine ugly laugh. Louise and I thought each other were absolutely hilarious, and even though Phil would always be my best friend, he was also my boyfriend. It was nice to have someone I didn’t want to kiss every time I heard them laugh.
“You’re ridiculous. But you didn’t call me for nothing, love, so get on with it.”
Rolling my eyes, I got straight to the point. “I need you to help me with a video.”
I could hear Louise’s smile through the static of the phone. She’d been waiting for this call for awhile. She gave me the benefit of the doubt, however, asking “Oh? And what kind of video might that be?”
“A fucking porno, Lou, what else?”
We both burst out laughing, taking a few moments to compose ourselves before speaking.
“I’m so happy you finally decided to do this! What should I bring? Do you want to go to the store to get your own stuff? Should it be a tutorial, or just a “Louise Does My Makeup” vid?”
Of all the things I’d thought over, none of these questions had factored in. “Um.”
“Oh Dan. You really do need my help, don’t you?”
Clearly, I did. “Yes, mom, please teach me the ways of the beauty,” I said sarcastically, only half-kidding.
“Fuck yourself, child, I’m only seven years older than you as of Friday.”
“Mooommmmm…”
“I’m blocking you.”
I snickered. “No, don’t! I’ll behave just please help me.”
Sighing, Louise paused. “Okay, firstly, what kind of video do you want to do?”
I thought it over. “I want to do my own makeup, but I don’t want it to be a tutorial. What would that be called?”
“Hmm. It could be a how I do my makeup one? Or maybe just come up with a clever title.”
I made a sound of agreement, the wheels already turning in my brain. Louise sensed this, moving on to the next question.
“How much makeup are you wanting to do? Full-face, just eye makeup, just base and contour…?”
I’d somewhat thought of this already, so my answer was quicker. “Full-face, I think, but also my nails?”
Louise hummed in approval. “Getting bold, are we?”
I snorted, mumbled “It’s high damn time”, and we moved on to the next part.
“I assume you want your own products, right? We are very different-looking people, after all.”
That was true. “Yeah, but I want you to come with me because I have no idea what I’m doing. But also bring your makeup because we’re both doing this, and also we need nail polish.”
I could tell Louise was grinning. “You’re really brave for doing this, you know that? 2009 Dan would be having a stroke right now.”
I rolled my eyes again. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. New year new me, blah blah blah.”
Chuckling, Louise’s tone shifted a bit. “Does Phil..?”
I smiled to myself, suddenly bashful. “Uh, yeah, no. No he doesn’t know and no he’s not doing his makeup too. I just-I kinda want to surprise him, you know? But he’ll probably suspect it anyways so I don’t know why I’m being a sneaky shit.”
Louise was quiet for a while, worrying me, but she had just been processing the situation. “No, I don’t think he will,” she began, sounding serious. “Phil’s a bit oblivious at times, you know that. And if you have no makeup around the house, then he has no reason to just assume you’ve made up your mind. But I do think surprising him is very sneaky and cute of you.”
My face was hot, even though she couldn’t see me. “Thanks, but not really. I just really kind of want to see what I look like with makeup on.”
Louise burst out laughing again, making me smile.
“You’re a selfish bitch, but a good-intentioned one. I’ll see you tomorrow, love!”
***
“Where ya going?” Phil called, and I nearly smacked into the wall on the way over to him in the lounge. I was still adjusting to this flat, not to mention stepping over boxes in every direction.
“Louise’s,” I answered, acting as casual as possible.
Phil didn’t look up from the book he was reading, sat in the middle of the floor next to a box as if he’d been unloading it. As if.
“Oh, cool. Can I come?”
My heart beat just a little faster, and I remembered how bad I was at lying. “Eh, we’re just having a girls’ day,” I forced a laugh, hoping I hadn’t given away too much. “You’d be really bored.”
Looking hurt, Phil’s eyes flickered. “I would not. But okay, you two have fun. Text me when you’re on your way home and I’ll order pizza.”
I felt awful for hurting his feelings, but I really didn’t want to tell him about the video. Dodging boxes and miscellaneous piles of crap littering the room, I knelt down behind Phil, wrapping my arms around him and kissing his shoulder. “I love youuuuu,” I sang, feeling his smile when he kissed my cheek.
“Love you too, bear. Tell Lou I said hi.”
***
“How many aisles of makeup can there possibly be?!”
Louise was worriedly glancing at the appalled expression on my face, the sheer amount of products before us scaring the hell out of me. This was going to be a mess. I had no idea what I was doing, no idea what to buy, I didn’t even know what look I was going for-
“Dan, sweetie, breathe. It’s a lot easier than you think, I promise.”
I breathed, and Louise took my hand in hers. “Lipstick?”
“Black, obviously.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Really? That dark for the first ever time people see you with makeup?”
I shrugged. “I did black on my nails the first time I painted them, so might as well. Maybe dark red, I don’t know.”
We decided on dark red. We also decided smokey eye, eyeliner, highlighter, contour, foundation, mascara, lip liner, primer (which I didn’t know was a thing), eyebrow pencil-the whole package. And I picked sparkly black nail polish this time-might as well mix the last two colors.
When we got back to Louise’s house and had set the camera’s up, I began to get nervous. I had almost bit down on my nail before Louise all but slapped me, looking furious.
“You will not. We are literally about to start this and you want to bite your nails? Are you actually mad?”
I tried to hide my grin, but Louise’s face softened at it nonetheless. “What?” she asked, trying not to smile herself.
“You do sound like a mom.”
Slapping my arm for real this time, Louise called for Darcy, who came running at me like a bullet. I hugged her as Louise asked, “Darcy, what does mommy do when you bite your nails?”
“Doesn’t let me paint them! She’s mean, Dan.”
I chuckled at Louise’s smug expression, still feeling nervous but excited at the same time. As we started the video, I kept imagining what Phil’s reaction would be, more than anyone else’s. Would he be surprised at all? Would he like it? Would I like it?
It turned out, I did. A lot. I couldn’t stop looking at my reflection in Louise’s mirror, amazed by how different my face looked. I looked… stunning, if I was being honest, and I wondered why I’d been such a little bitch about doing this before now. I guess I was just scared, was all, but I was 100% glad I’d conquered that fear because damn, was I hot.
Louise was amazed too. “I hate you,” she muttered at one point, making me burst out laughing.
“You look better,” I assured her, but she just glared.
“Oh, fuck you, you’re the pretty friend. Darcy, come here!”
I didn’t know how Darcy would react, which made me worry for a brief moment, even if she was only six. But her reaction was priceless, and I had tears in my eyes after she finished squealing.
“Oh my goodness you’re so pretty! Mommy, look at his eyes!” Darcy’s little hands were fluttering all around my face, making me grin in amusement. “He looks like a princess! No, a queen! Is it okay if you’re a queen instead of a king Dan? Because I’ve never seen a king with makeup before!”
“He can be a beauty king too, Darce,” Louise smiled at me, and I smiled at the floor. Taking the makeup off made me sad, but I made sure I took lots of selfies and aesthetic photos before I did.
I couldn’t wait to see what Phil thought of the video.
***
It was 10:30 before I got home that night, and the flat was quiet. I opened the door of the lounge quietly, finding Phil asleep on the floor next to his book. He looked so adorable laying in the midst of all this chaos, perfectly at peace, that I had to take a couple of pictures. I laid next to him on the floor, posting one of the pictures on Twitter with the caption Guess it’s my turn to take sleep creepshots. After about five minutes Phil rolled over, groaning and blinking at me, inches away from his face.
“This floor is less comfortable than the old flat’s.”
I smiled nostalgically, reaching over and playing with the fringe over his eyes. “Then why are you sleeping on it, silly?”
Phil smiled sleepily, snatching my hand before I could put it back down. “Guess you and Lou did have a girls’ day, huh?”
Letting him examine the glittering abyss of my nails, I smiled sheepishly. “You have no idea.”
***
I spent all night editing the video, even making a bloopers one that may or may not get uploaded, which included the part with Darcy freaking out that we’d unknowingly filmed. I was exhausted the next morning, and Phil noticed.
“What were you doing all night last night?” he casually asked, digging in one of the kitchen boxes for the cereal.
“Editing,” I muttered, sitting on the floor and leaning against one of the cupboards since the dining table had shit piled all over it.
“When did you film?” Phil turned around, looking interested, and I mentally slapped myself for giving anything away.
“Couple days ago,” I lied, closing my eyes and jumping when Phil’s hands pressed against either side of my face. I opened one eye, seeing his face directly in front of mine, smiling knowingly.
“You’re hiding something from me.”
“You’re hiding the cereal from me.”
We stared at each other until I broke, kissing the tip of his nose and standing abruptly. “Can we please eat, I’m not kidding.”
The day went by slowly, but when I finally hit upload on the video, I hurried to stand outside the lounge, able to clearly hear everything because of that damn glass wall. I heard the notification on Phil’s phone ding, heard him drop his book to turn the volume up on his phone, and heard my “Hello internet…”
I listened to the entire video, smiling at certain parts and wanting to see Phil’s face more than I’d ever wanted to see anything before. When it finally ended, I didn’t hear Phil getting up, and frowned, wondering what he was doing. I’d expected him to come running to ask me about the video, but after a few minutes I began to wonder if he’d even liked the video at all. My phone buzzed, and I had to blink blurriness out of eyes to see what Phil had posted.
It was a picture of me without makeup and a screenshot from the end of the video, side by side, with the caption He’s beautiful with or without makeup, isn’t he?
“You sneaky, pretty little shit.”
I nearly screamed when Phil spoke, arms crossed and standing directly in front of me. I hadn’t even heard him open the door to the lounge, let alone walk halfway down the hall. My heart was still in my throat when Phil kissed me, not letting me speak and completely taking me by surprise. When I got the chance to breathe, all I asked was, “So? Did you like it?”
Phil looked at me with so much love in his eyes that I felt my throat tighten again, and I knew the video would be worth every last second, just to make Phil this happy.
“I’m stunned. That you went through with it, that you looked just that damn gorgeous, and that you hid the whole thing from me!” The last part was accompanied with a glare, and I grinned, unashamed.
“So you liked it?”
Kissing me again, Phil whispered, “I loved it, bear. You’re beautiful, and you should know that.”
I smiled, happy with the choices I’d made. “I’m learning.”
“Good. It’s long overdue.”