Work Text:
If Taako never had to flip another greasy, cheap piece of burger meat in this cramped burger joint again he would be a very happy dude. Unfortunately, then he wouldn't have the distinct pleasure of earning eight dollars an hour for grunt work.
It was a brightly lit Friday night for two in the morning. Fluorescent lights beat against Taako’s thudding headache, that only ebbed away when the last drunk gaggle of twenty-somethings left the place in a cloud of giggles and littered food wrappers. Working at the only late-night burger place in the city meant late nights of huge crowds of annoying people just getting out of clubs or parties. Taako was not one of those people, he was one of the losers behind the counter with a crisp white uniform and completely idiotic white hat. After a full night of flipping meat and having to resist punching the next person in the face who complained about the lack of ketchup, he’s ready to let off some steam. However, that wasn't what the universe had in mind.
“You’re kidding me!” he shouts at his phone, getting an apology text from Killian, saying she couldn’t hang out tonight since she was having a stay in date with her girlfriend. Some friend she was.
“What’s wrong?” Magnus asks from underneath a table, as good naturedly as ever even when scraping gum from underneath tabletops with a hearty vigor. “Someone yank from the tip jar again?”
Taako sighs heavily, tapping his fingers against the counter as he continues to scroll through his contacts list. “Nah, I’m just trying to find something to do since I fine-a-lee have some free time around here.”
Magnus gets up off the floor and starts to pull off his plastic gloves to toss away. “Who’s gonna wanna hang out at two in the morning?” He stops in his place, frowning at Taako. “Wait, why do you have free time? Where’s Angus?”
Taako brushes aside Magnus poking his head into his business as per usual, since he knows that Magnus is absolutely enamored with Taako’s son. Whenever he brings the little guy into work Magnus insists on constructing him a gift out of whatever’s in the kitchen. The other week it was a little man made of straws, which Angus got a kick out of. “He’s with his aunt this weekend,” Taako says, waving away the concerns with his hand. “She’s been sending me pics all night, they were playing scrabble like a couple a nerds.”
The door from the back office swings open, a stockier man steps out, looking slightly tired from the night’s rush. “Alright boys, we’re done for tonight, let’s- “Merle, the store manager, stops as he sees Taako swiping through his phone a tad too aggressively. “What’s up with him?” he asks, jabbing a thumb at the blonde man.
Magnus laughs. “He’s mad because he doesn’t have Friday night plans
“Oh, and you do?” Taako spits back a little harsher than he meant to. Thankfully, his burly coworker shrugs it off easily.
“I was just gonna fall asleep watching reruns of Law & Order or something.” Magnus was not at all like Taako, he never minded having a quiet life where he wasn’t the center of every social event. Even though Taako knew the guy would make a killing at the bar scene, with his impressive muscles and calm, reassuring laugh, it was something he never pushed.
Merle wipes his glasses on his shirt, trying to act casual. “We could hang out; I like to think I’m pretty cool.” In Merle’s terms, ‘pretty cool’ meant making old references nobody ever got, and having a beard so think you could play darts on it.
Taako tucks his phone away, after receiving another reassurance text from his sister that Angus was sound asleep, and hums a bit. “What, like, go to a bar or something?”
Magnus shakes his head. “Last call was probably a few minutes ago, we’re outta luck there.”
Merle walks around nonchalantly, turning out some lights and pulling a huge ring of jangling keys from his back pocket. “Well, I have some.” He taps his nose once and whistles out a high note. “You know.”
Magnus tilts his head to the side. “What? No, I don’t know.”
“Nobody ever knows,” Taako says solemnly, also gathering up his things and triple checking that he turned off everything in the kitchen. “Nobody ever has any idea what you are talking about.”
Merle runs a hand through his hair, embarrassed. “Y’know. Reefer. The devil’s lettuce. Some mary jane.”
All he gets in return is blank stares from his coworkers.
“Weed!” Merle shouts in exasperation. “I’m talking about weed!”
“Oh,” Magnus and Taako say in unison.
“Yeah, sure, I’m down,” Taako says with a shrug of his skinny shoulders. “As long as you’re coolio with it, my dude. You know, being the head honcho and all.”
Merle swipes his hand through the air with a scoff. “Oh, psh. I’m just the assistant manager, and you guys are cool.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “It’s those other tightwad narcs I’m worried about.” At that, he looks at Magnus sitting on the counter by the register, backpack in hand. “What about you, Burnsides? You up for it? Or are you not, on the level?”
Magnus rolls his eyes, but nods anyway. “Sure, I guess. Lemme just change out of this stupid uniform.” He takes a sniff at his armpit and jerks away with a gag. “It’s been a long shift.”
“Oh, yeah, me too,” Taako says.
A few minutes later, Magnus changes into a jacket and cargo shorts, Taako into a too-revealing tank top and bedazzled booty shorts, and Merle just being Merle, the three step out of the back door and into the cool summer air.
Taako breathes it in, enjoying how quiet and still everything seems at this hour. The night fell in shadows over the city landscape, with only the occasional car whizzing by at a too-fast speed. Palm trees swayed whenever a warm breeze went by, which felt nice after a shift of laboring over a deep fryer. The sounds of cop sirens could be heard distantly, but for the most part it was the sort of silent night where everything was calm. Since they were still pretty deep into the city, not many stars could be seen in the sky, but he tilted his head up to look anyways, his long hair falling down his back. In the distance, a waning moon could be seen above.
Magnus was looking up at the sky, too. “When I was a kid, I used to think there was a second moon. I was one-hundred percent convinced for, like, years.”
“Maybe it’s just hiding behind moon numero uno, my man.” Taako crosses his arms behind his neck, tipping his head back. “You never know.” In the background, the neon sign announcing late night greasy burgers flashes once before turning off for the night.
“Alright, here it is,” Merle says from behind them, pressing the unlock button on his key fob. A large van beeps to life from the back-parking lot. It’s just what Taako expected a middle-aged hippie like Merle to drive, beat up but purring. “Meet Pan, my trusty gal.” There's a mural spraypainted on the side of it, which Taako can't really see in the darkness but is fairly certain there's a pegasus in there somewhere.
Magnus is already opening the passenger side door, with Taako climbing in the backseat so he could have plenty of room to stretch his long spindly legs. “You named your van Pan?” Magnus asks, putting his feet up on the dashboard.
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?” Merle asks, slightly distracted as he’s rooting around in his glove compartment for a small plastic baggie. Finally, he sits up and flicks on a lighter. “You guys ready for some groovy times?”
“Sure, as long as you never refer to this as ‘groovy times’ ever again.”
“You betcha.”
: :
It never took long for Taako to really feel it, when it hits. He probably hasn't smoked in over a year, and even before that it was only at parties or porch steps with his sister. So after about ten minutes, he’s lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling of Merle’s shitty van feeling like he’s sinking into a pool of condescended jello, slowly and with a sense of calm. From the front of the van, there’s the low mutters of Merle and Magnus talking about…something. In the background, Merle’s playing a cassette tape of some old, boring classic rock, but it has a low bass that thrums underneath Taako’s head, so he can put up with it.
“Hey. Hey, Taako.” Magnus’s voice pierces through Taako’s mind fog, and he can see the bigger man twisting around in his seat to face Taako. “You doing okay, buddy? You feelin’ it?”
Taako considers this. He lets his eyes flutter gently, trying to focus on the car ceiling above him. He lifts his hand in the air. It feels heavy. He spreads his fingers apart, watches them flow back and forth. Then he curls his hand into a weak fist. He forgets what Magnus asked.
“Yup, he’s high,” Magnus concludes to Merle. Merle just chuckles, angling his body so he could face the two of them at the same time.
“Wow, after only one hit?” Merle asks. “And I thought I was little.”
Magnus stretches out, too, as much as his tall stature can allow. He sort of lies back against the dashboard, angling his legs over the divider. He doesn’t seem as high, but he does ask Merle to pass the bong back. “Shit,” he says, closing his eyes. “I haven’t smoked in a long time.”
“Same here,” Taako croaks, finding his voice again. “I don’t smoke when Ango’s in the same house as me.
Merle smiles, clasping his hands together. “I like getting people together to smoke. It makes people open up more, tell the most intimate parts of themselves in a kind of circle of friendship. You know, a zone of sorts.”
Taako spreads his arms out in a rainbow arc. “A zone of truth.”
“Ooh, that’s good,” Merle says, putting a hand to his chin. “I’ll have to remember that.” He looks back to the other two, pushing up his glasses. “Alright then, zone of truth time. Let’s tell some secrets.”
Taako groans, pushing past the pleasant tingling in his body. “What is this, a sleepover? Nu uh, no thank you, Taako’s good over here.”
“No way, dude,” Magnus whines, kicking Taako’s side gently with his foot. “Fess up, we’re bonding over here.” That’s right, Taako recalls, this is definitely a Magnus sort of thing. The guy loves bonding, forming lifelong friendships, all of that absolutely disgusting stuff that Taako stays far away from.
“I don’t have anything to tell!” Taako protests, throwing his hands in the air.
Magnus kicks again. “Sure you do.” Kick, kick. “Whatever happened with that guy from Tinder you went out with?” Cavity? Cravit? Kravitz?”
Merle lets out a long ‘ooooo’ as Taako shuts his eyes again. “No way, none of your fuckin’ business,” Taako says, like it's his goddamn catchphrase, but he’s fighting through an enveloping cloud in his head that he’s sinking lower and lower into. Somewhere outside, there’s another car alarm going off, and it’s nothing more than a low drone.
“Come on, Taako,” Merle says in an obnoxious sing-songy voice. “Let yourself get in the zone.”
“I hate you guys so much,” Taako says, but lets himself curl into a loose ball as he turns slightly towards the other two. “It went fine. He’s handsome. He made me dinner on our last date.” His stomach twists at the memory of overcooked carbonara and wilted salad leaves. A dinner that could have easily been saved with fresher ingredients and maybe a tweak or two to the sauce. A dinner that had actually been saved thanks to his date’s charming fumbling and apologizing over the dish and the subsequent two hour makeout session where they forgot all about it. The thought of it makes heat rise to his cheeks that his friends thankfully couldn't see in the darkness.
“Wait, last date?” Magnus interrupted Taako’s little tryst down memory lane in confusion. “As in, there have been multiple?”
Taako grumpily held up four fingers, four dates. At their squeals, he put them down so only the middle finger remained.
“Aw, don’t be like that,” Merle protested, unable to let the smile out of his face. “We’re just happy for you, that’s all. You don’t have a lotta dates, you know!”
Taako shrugs again, feeling his entire body buzz with numbness. “Haven’t really gone too far with anyone since Ango was born.”
“Yeah, speaking of that, how did that happen?” Merle asks, and Magnus immediately elbows his side, hard. “Hey! I’m just wondering! You’re gay, right?”
“Correctomundo,” Taako says, very used to the question by now.
“Then how in the heck did you have a kid? Did you change your mind after?”
“Dude, what the fuck?” Magnus asks in anger, always the protector.
Taako waves him off, though appreciative. “Nah, ‘s all good. You can ask whatever you want.” At this, he makes perfect eye contact with Merle, narrowing his eyes. “Doesn’t mean you’re gonna get an answer, friend.”
“That’s fair, I’ll accept that.”
They fall into a silence, stretching over them like a warm blanket. Magnus stares out the window, tracing patterns into the fogged window.
“What about you, Merle?” Magnus asks. “Got any special lady friends in your life?”
Merle takes his time to do an exaggerated eyebrow waggle, and the other two only groan in regret and anticipation. “You know, now that you mention it…” He giggles. “I think Lucretia’s a little sweet on me.”
“Oh fuck off!” Magnus yells through laughter at the same time Taako screeches a “No holy shit stop” all the while Merle just drinks in their reactions with glee.
“You asked!”
The laughter goes on for a before it dies down enough to be drowned out by the lull of soft beats still thrumming out of the car stereo. They all let their heads lull back, drinking in the sensation, while being distinctly aware of the others.
Nobody asks about Magnus’s love life. Taako knows the bits and pieces of his past, nuggets of information that are surprisingly sparse from a man who loves to share so much about his personal life. Magnus will discuss at length during break time about how he cut himself “manscaping” in the shower that morning, but never mentions what happened before he moved to the big city. One time Merle had asked if Magnus wanted the rest of the ice tea in the machine before they threw it out for the night, and Merle had just dismissively said, “Nah, ice tea was more Julia’s thing.” Magnus was so lost in sorting out the night’s receipts that he didn’t notice Taako and Merle sharing a knowing look.
Everyone at work knows that Magnus wears a wedding ring but lives alone.
“Hey, gimme that aux cord,” Taako says, shifting around for his phone. “And I’ll take another hit. But get that lame ass shit out of my ears.”
Merle obliges, passing over the auxiliary cord and the bong as Taako scrolls through his music library. Soon enough, the sultry sounds and tacit tones of Carly Rae Jepsen’s Emotion album fills the van.
“Is this side B?” Magnus asks, sounding distant and lost in his own thoughts.
“You know it brother,” Taako mumbles, giving him a weak fistbump before flicking on the lighter.
They all close their eyes again, content to sit there. Carly Rae Jepsen dutifully keeps singing in the background of their mild trip, like the absolute champ she is.
Taako wishes this car had a moonroof. He wanted to look up at the stars. He was a pretty dumb kid, his sister was the smart one, with a lack of common sense and a frustrating ability to never remember any details, but when he applied himself he could focus on the small things. He knew almost every constellation when he was younger, and he would draw them out on the margins of his paper whenever he could. It didn't take too long into his adult years that he forgot them all, the Greek and Roman words that painted the sky slipped through his fingers one by one, until one day he was glancing at the sky while making a creme brulee and could only name the Big Dipper. Sometimes he wonders how he could raise a kid who not only knew the constellations, but all of the moons to each planet and the stories behind the universe. Sometimes he looked into his son's eyes and saw the reflections of galaxies that had long faded away from his own. That's okay, they can both recite every word of Mean Girls forwards and backwards, so that's pretty bitchin'.
"Taako I can literally feel you thinking," Magnus pipes up. "You thinkin' about your new boyyyyyfriend?"
"No, I reserve thinking about him for only certain hours of the night."
"Gross!"
“There’s no gross in the zone of truth,” Merle says, clasping his hands together. “If he wants to talk about his boytoy, he can. We are all children of the universe, born from the stardust, here to eat French fries and sit in parking lots to become brothers, breathing in-“
“Oh my god, he’s never going to stop!” Magnus yells, shaking Merle’s shoulder. “Snap out of it dude, it’s the weed talking!”
“The weed is talking, but it’s saying good things.”
“He can talk about Cavity when he’s good and ready.”
“Well maybe he shouldn’t be messin’ around with someone named Cavity.”
“I know, our dental insurance is shit!” With that, Magnus and Merle both break out into uproarious laughter, leaving Taako to stew with his thoughts.
He groans, putting his face in his hands. “You guys.” Big sigh. “I think I….” Another groan, followed by a small cough. “Fuck, I hate talking about my feelings!”
Merle wipes tears of laughter from his eyes, prodding Magnus a bit. “C’mon Taako. Zone of truth. Zone of truth.” His voice raises into a louder chant. “Zone of truth! Zone of truth!”
Magnus giggles before joining in: “Zone of truth! Zone of truth!”
“Zone of truth! Zone of truth! Zone of-“
“I really like him!” Taako blurts, kicking his feet against the roof of the van as he says it. “He’s real handsome and I like nervous guys who are nice to me, alright?” More arm waving in embarrassment. “He collects those weird taxidermy animal skulls and talks about the soundtrack composing in movies and that’s weird but I like weird. I hate guys who are trying to be better than me, because who can be better than me, Taako?” He pushes air out of his cheeks in frustration. “This is real fuckin’ dumb. I hate everything about this.”
Magnus turns down Carly for just a second, but not before nodding in reverence to her vocal work. He kneels up on his seat, peering down at a flushed Taako from the back of the seat. “Go on, you’re doing great.”
“Accept the zone, love the zone, let it overtake you,” Merle says sagely, with the reverence of a wise preacher giving a sermon. Or a cult leader about to eat your flesh.
Taako scrambles up in the seat before he’s no longer lying down, just sitting with his legs pressed against his chest. He stares at his hands as he speaks. “I dunno. I just get nervous about this sort of stuff. I don’t trust a lot of people.” There are a lot of burns and cuts and callouses on his hands, Taako notes. The mark of kitchen work. “He hasn’t met Angus yet. I don’t think I’m ready for that.” He rests his head against the seat. “But even though we’ve fucked and everything and it was, for emphasis, fuckin’ excelente, what I picture at night is, like, when he gently touched my lower back when he opened a door for me.” Taako scratches at his arm, still not making eye contact with his friends.
To his credit, Magnus doesn’t ‘awwww’ or coo like Taako thought he would. “That’s really sweet, dude,” he says instead. “I’m happy for you.”
Merle nods as well, and reaches over to pat Taako’s leg. Taako flinches immediately, but lets his hand rest there. “It’s okay to like things. Pleasure is one of the few things that make life worthwhile. You deserve happiness.” Magnus nods along fervently with him.
“The best years of my life was when Julia was alive with me, just being with her.” Magnus voice sounds softer, more distant. He looks away, blinking hard. “Whenever I remember what we had, have, it makes me happy, even though she’s gone.”
Merle silently leans over and takes Magnus’ hand. Magnus accepts it.
“Jeez, way to ruin the mood, Debbie downer,” Taako jokes uneasily, but he takes Magnus’ other hand. Merle links with his. “Thank you dudes for that, by the way. Appreciate it.”
Magnus sniffs with a small smile, but says nothing else. Merle beams.
And so they sat, a small circle of held hands across car consoles and seats, letting the night wash over them. For about four seconds.
“Man, I’m hungry,” Merle says. Moment over.
Magnus nods. “Yeah, totally. I feel like I could eat. You know.” He pauses for a long time, seemingly forgetting what he was talking about. “Um. The stuff you put in your mouth so you can live.”
“Food,” Merle assures.
“Yeah. Do you ever think about how we like, have to eat to survive? That’s fucked up. Like, you can just forgot to eat and then it’s all over.” Magnus shakes his head. “Just, whoa.”
“We can always go back inside and heat up some French fries,” Merle says, and even the thought of going back into the cramped hell hole of a restaurant and inhaling the scent of grease and the deep fryer makes Taako want to hurl.
“Nu uh, no way.” Taako indignantly points his chin up. “We are not eating that garbage willingly.”
“But now Merle made me hungry,” Magnus whines, poking Merle in the cheek.
“Then we’ll go to my place, I’ll whip up some grub,” Taako says nonchalantly, shifting in his seat to buckle in his seatbelt. “I’ll give you directions.”
Magnus immediately cheers as Merle rubs his chin in contemplation. The smaller man puts his hands on the wheel. Stares at his hands. Breathes in. Leans in. Keeps staring at his hands. Lets out a puff of laughter before adjusting his hands on the wheel again. Hums. Turns back to Taako.
“Yeah, there’s no way I’m gonna be able to drive,” Merle says firmly.
“You’re supposed to be the one who smokes a lot! You should be able to handle this!”
“What can I say, I hide how far I’m gone pretty well,” Merle says, and Magnus snorts. “Sorry, guys.”
Taako unbuckles his seatbelt, and begins climbing out of the car. “We’re good, my place isn’t too far from here. We’ll just walk.”
“Oh, Taako wants to walk?” Merle asks playfully. “Taako wants to put effort into something?”
“Huh, yeah, weird? Almost like food is a better manager more than say, your dumb ass?” Taako retorts just as playfully, scrambling out of the car and into the cool summer night. The other two follow suit, turning off the car and Merle locking it with a beep. Taako has no idea how long they were mildly tripping in the car, but it does feel a lot later. Being outside feels weird on his skin, and the soft lights from still-open businesses down the street seem to stretch and blend into the night, humming dimly as Taako tries to focus his brain on standing upright on the concrete below.
“Whoa, steady there, buddy,” Magnus says from behind, taking him by the shoulder.
“Walking might be a lot harder than I thought,” Taako mumbles, squinting at the sidewalk ahead.
“We’ll be fine. We just have to all hold hands so we don’t wander off,” Magnus says with such confidence, Taako allows him to take his small hand in Magnus’ comically large ones. Merle takes Taako’s other hand, and they both let Taako lead the way to where his house was. It really was only a block or two away, which is one of the reasons Taako was willing to take on the job, since he would be close enough to pick Angus up from school before going to work. His judgement is fuzzy, but he strode in a direction he figured was right, the Boner Squad right with him.
Only the 24/7 convenience store a little ways down the street was open, its florescent lighting flooding into the street promising cheap booze and sugary candy bars. The thought of a candy bar did make Taako’s stomach growl, pushing his quest on further.
“So Magnus,” Merle asks while Taako’s mind is just thinking candy bars candy bars candy bars, “How’s the other job going? I’m kind of jealous that you’re cheating on us, you know.”
Magnus also seems to have been thinking about other things, since he looks like a rubber band snapping back into place. “Oh, it’s picking up a bit. Hipsters are really getting into handmade furniture and stuff, so I’m getting a lot more customers lately.” He gives a sigh, looking up at the stars. “Once I have the rest of this car loan paid off, I’m totally done cleaning up after these brats.”
The thought of Magnus quitting leaves a sour taste in Taako’s mouth that he can’t quite place. A mix between guilt and sadness. He doesn’t say anything, but if he does grip onto both Merle and Magnus a tad tighter as they start to walk across a street, he will deny it to his grave.
“You’re playing on staying in the city?” Merle asks. “I thought you’re all about that small town boy stuff.”
Merle shrugs. “Yeah, I am pretty rustic, got those hospitable roots in me. But small towns all gossip and they always knew everyone else’s business, it got pretty annoying. Here was a fresh start.” They stop at another crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn even though there were no cars around at this hour. “Besides, my apartment’s actually pretty cheap for being a two bedroom.”
“Holy shit, how did you snag a cheap two bedroom in this town?”
“I get a price controlled low rent since I do all the fixing for the building, the landlord’s pretty cool. I just hate that I can’t have a dog there. ”
Taako groans, throwing his head back. “Oh my god this is the most boring conversation I’ve ever heard in my entire life, can we please talk about literally anything else.”
Magnus looks both ways before they all begin to cross as the light turns green. “Sure, we can talk about how you apparently walk home in this part of town at night.”
“Yeah!” Merle pipes up. “This really is a shitty part of town.”
“It’s not that dangerous,” Taako mutters, omitting the multiple times he’s had to pull out the pepper spray.
“Nonsense. From now on, I’m driving you home.” Merle raises his other hand to stop Taako’s immediate indignant sputtering. “Nope, no if’s, and’s or but’s. It’s final.”
They turn the corner into a row of low-income apartment buildings. It wasn’t a horrible area, there were no broken beer bottles or wild dogs barking at late hours, but it wasn’t anything fancy, either. It was on the outskirts of the zone of a good school for Angus, which was Taako’s biggest priority. Now he was just saving up to be able to put him in a good private school by the time the little dude entered high school.
“This is it,” he says, stopping outside a small, three story building. He lets go of the other’s hands a bit reluctantly, liking the way it was tethering him to the ground, in order to dig through his pocket’s for his keys. They all climb up the stairs attached to the building, past doors to other apartments. He shushes them as they’re walking up, since all of his neighbors were whiny little punks. Unlocking the door, he pushes inside to an empty place.
It’s a small apartment, Taako knows that. The opening led into a living room that was nicely decorated, if a little sparse. A big couch covered in blankets but a smaller television, with a coffee table filled with Angus’ various detective novels and notebooks filled with his research. There was a bookshelf off to the side, on the empty side but with a few potted plants and cooking books. Taako had taken a liking to hanging plants a few months ago, so the ceilings were indeed lined with succulents hanging by ropes in painted ceramic pots. The kitchen was more robust than Taako would have preferred with a place of living, but he made it work. It was absolutely spotless, since it was scrubbed clean and washed almost daily, even when he was exhausted from the day. Most of the walls had art pieces on them rather than pictures, but there was a small frame of Angus as a tiny newborn, swaddled in blankets and snoozing peacefully, put on the end table next to his key bowl.
Merle was staring at the photograph, smiling softly. “I remember when my kids were that small,” he says with utter fondness in his voice.
“Wait, what the fuck?” Magnus says, pressing his hands to his forehead. “You have kids?!”
“Yeah,” Merle says, looking up from the photograph.
"Why didn't you say that in the zone of truth?"
He shrugs. “I have pretty high Wisdom.”
Taako rolls his eyes and dumps his keys in his key bowl. “Bathroom is down the hall, Angus’s room to the right of it. I’m gonna start making some mother fucking cookies.” He starts pulling his long hair into a bun, as he always does when he’s about to cook.
“Oh, fuck yeah,” Magnus says. “That sounds amazing.”
Merle furrows his brows, looking down the hall. “Where do you sleep, then?”
Taako looks away, puffing. “On the couch.” It’s embarrassing, he doesn’t want to admit it, but if these fuckers are going to insist on being so damn nosy, he might as well stop the prodding early.
He feels a hand on his back, a touch from Merle. “You’re a good dad,” he says, patting once. “I’m gonna go take a shit and maybe stare at my reflection for awhile,” he adds, stalking off.
Taako snorts as he walks into the kitchen, rifling through the cabinets for different ingredients. Although his kitchen was sparse, he always made sure to have basic baking ingredients, some gogurt tubes, a bowl of fruit for Angus (which Taako himself never, ever touched) and a few marshmallows for hot cocoa. Behind him, he could hear Magnus walking around, inspecting stray books and notes left around the apartment. “Finding anything interesting?” he asks, hoping the annoyance in his tone reads clearly.
Magnus isn’t even fazed; he’s rifling through a stack of mail, made up of mostly spam and magazines. “Oh sweet, Highlights!” he says, grabbing the children’s magazine from the pile and flipping through.
Taako goes back to his cookie project; he’s thinking a subtle red velvet. And maybe Cheetos. Maybe he puts Cheetos in the mix and heats up some ramen noodles to have on the side and-No. No, he was going to make cookies, his growling stomach be damned. He starts cracking some eggs into the bowl and carefully measuring out cups of flour as Magnus is still staring at his papers on the couch, still looking a little out of it.
“Hey, Taako, what’s this?” he asks from the couch, holding up a letter.
“None of your fucking business!” Taako sing-songs again, plugging in his mixing bowl and pushing a hair out of his face. He hears a stomp stomp stomp as Magnus loudly clomps up behind him and sits up on one of the counters. Taako pushes some of his ingredients a little farther away from Magnus’ frame, but otherwise says nothing about the health hazards of counter-sitting, because Taako is outrageously nice to people, you heard it here first folks.
Magnus pushes the letter in his face. “No, seriously, I can’t read that well because my mind can’t, like, you know, focus? On anything. But to me…” He takes the letter back to glance over again quickly before pushing it back. “It looks like an acceptance letter. For an apprenticeship.”
Taako snatches the letter from his hands, his cheeks red, and crumples the letter in his fist. The hum of the mixing bowl whirrs away in the background, the sound of his flour, butter, and cocoa powder mixing. “Dude! What the fuck did I just say?” Tears burned in Taako’s eyes, but he blinked them away. “Way to betray me, homie,” he says, trying to crack a joke but his voice tight. He knows he’s being dramatic, but he can’t help it.
Magnus doesn’t say anything; he just reaches his hand out for the letter. Taako, hands back the crumpled letter, flicks off the mixer, inhales sharply. He waits for Magnus to speak, to apologize or something, but nothing comes. He just carefully smooths out the letter, glances over it again, and stares at Taako, who refuses to look back. He just focuses on mixing the batter and preheating the oven. “It’s an acceptance letter,” Taako eventually says, only confirming what Magnus had said earlier.
“I’m sorry for snooping,” Magnus says in way of response. “That was messed up.” Now it’s Taako’s turn to not say anything, ripping open a bag of white chocolate chips. Magnus taps him gently with his foot. “In my defense, I’m still a little high.”
Taako cracks a smile at that. “Fuck off.” He pours some of the chocolate chips into Magnus’ open palm.
There’s a loud thump coming from the bathroom, then a crash, then a muffled curse.
“Um, Merle?” Magnus calls, mouth full. “You doin’ okay in there, buddy?”
“Everything’s perfectly fine in here!” comes a distant call from Merle, so Magnus shrugs at Taako.
“He better not be messing with my expensive soaps,” Taako mutters, starting to dole out cookie batter onto a sheet, shoving Magnus out of the way just a bit. “It’s a culinary apprenticeship. With this famous chef. And he only was gonna pick one person, and it was me, because I’m the best of the best, obviously,” he says, his voice still tired.
“Dude, that’s amazing!” Magnus says, throwing his arms in the air. “What the fuck, why aren’t you super excited about it?”
“I haven’t even told anyone about it yet.” Taako says, carefully putting the cookie pan into the oven, his stomach growling again. “It’s not like I’m gonna take it or anything.”
“What?” Magnus deflates, eyebrows furrowed. “Why not?”
“Because it’s a stupid idea.”
“Why?”
Taako sighs as he pulls off his oven mitts. Magnus pats the counter space next to him, and Taako joins him after wiping off the flour. “You sure love pushing your nose where it doesn’t belong, huh?”
“Taako. You know you can tell me anything. Don’t be weird about this, I’m your friend. Merle’s your friend, too, but I don’t know what he’s doing right now.” Magnus wraps his arm around Taako, strong and familial, pulls him in. Distantly, he wonders what this is what it would’ve been like to have an older brother. Him and Lup comforted eachother with hair braiding, nail painting, wrestling, deadly paintball fights. He comforted Angus with treats and stories and putting on silly puppet shows that made the kid laugh until the tears stopped. Even Kravitz, new as their relationship was, comforted Taako after a rough shift with a warm cup of tea and a gentle kiss to his knuckles. This sort of comfort, strong and sturdy, was purely Magnus. “You can tell me your pent up weird shit, man.”
Taako lets out one last heaving sigh. The weed was fading. “I can’t afford it, not with my rent. I don’t have the time. And even though I’m The Taako, I don’t want to.” His hands tighten into a fist. “I don’t want to fail, my man. I don’t think I can do that.”
Magnus is silent. The timer for the oven clicks on, the darkness of the living room seeps into the low-lit kitchen, the cheap countertops are groaning against the weight of the two men. Taako feels his anxiety lick up him in flames, feels them crawl up his spine to swallow him whole as he thinks about being exposed like this. He thinks about the list of the people he trusts, and how that list is only filled with the two people that share his blood. “Well,” Magnus starts. “The first part is easy. Move in with me.”
Taako pulls back from the embrace. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Move in with me. I got plenty of room, like I said, I got a ridiculously good price on my place.” He pulls out his phone, pressing a few buttons. “I have two bedrooms, and a small office that I use as a workshop for some of my smaller projects. You can take the second bedroom, and we can clear out my office for Angus. It’s not, like, a huge room, but it’s a good size for a kid and could easily fit a twin bed, a desk, a few other stuff.” He opens up a picture, shows it to Taako. It’s a few pictures, actually, of his apartment, probably when he first moved in. He was right, the office space was small, but not much smaller than Angus’s room now. “If we split the rent, it would probably be even cheaper than what you’re paying here now. Meaning you could take a few shifts off of work, focus on the apprenticeship.” Magnus is talking frantically now, obviously on a roll. “Getting out of a lease really isn’t that hard, I can help you out with that. It would be fun!”
Taako’s mouth is dry, he flicks through why this is a terrible idea in his head. Because it is, right? The worst idea. “You wanna live with a kid?”
Magnus laughs. “What? Yeah, Angus is good kid! I’m great with kids, you know that. Besides, I could help out with him, take him to the park, help him with homework.”
“But you’d have to move out your workshop.”
“I have another one at the carpentry place! I just used that one for small carvings, nothing too huge.”
“But-“
Magnus puts his hands on Taako’s shoulders. “Taako. I want to do this. You’ve earned this. You’ve earned this apprenticeship and your boyfriend or whatever and being a good dad and whatever else. You worked hard.” He leans back, shrugging. “Besides, I get lonely living all by myself. I’m a talker.”
Taako just balks, feeling overwhelmed with a feeling he couldn’t quite place.
It was then that Merle stalks back in, looking a little sheepish and wiping himself off. “Hey guys, hope everything’s okay out here. Everything’s definitely okay in the bathroom, nothing wrong at all.”
“Merle, you were in there for twenty minutes.”
Merle throws his hands up defensively. “Hey, can you just let a man go about his business without all the questions. Jeez, what is this, an interrogation?” He sniffs, smiling. “The cookies smell good. What’re you guys talking about.”
Magnus grins. “Taako’s moving in with me!”
Merle frowns, glancing over at Taako. “Taako?”
“It’s true,” Taako says, shocked at what his own voice was saying. But as he said it, it felt good. It felt right. Magnus hugs him from the side.
“Well, that’s cool,” Merle says. He pauses. “Let’s make a blanket fort.”
“As long as we can stop discussing all of my emotionally crippling problems!” Taako says, hopping off the counter and heading towards the linen closet.
“Never!”
And so they make a blanket fort. It takes a few chairs, lots of Taako’s many quilts and comforters, and a few complete fall-overs, but eventually they have a mountain of blankets piled high in the living room. It was the best three fully grown men could do. By the time they’re done, the first breaths of the morning light peak in through the window blinds and a few of the earliest birds start chirping outside. The boys bring in all the pillows they can from around the house and arrange them neatly on the floor, creating a mattress of fluff to lounge on. Just as they finalize the finishing touches, the buzz of the timer goes off, and the cookies are ready.
Taako warns them that they’re really hot fresh out of the oven, but they all grab for them as soon as the cookies hit the plate. They munch on them silently inside the fort, all appreciating the velvety texture and dusted powdered sugar topping, trying to ignore the burns on the roof of their mouths they just received.
After a few more whispered conversations, bad dildo jokes, and some pretty good dildo jokes, Magnus falls asleep first, snoring loudly, but not before assuring Taako that in the morning (well, afternoon) they’ll go and look at Magnus’ apartment together to start the first steps. Taako decides to expand his list of trustworthiness by just one more.
“This was weird,” Taako says, the last cookie finished and the lights off save for the blue hue of the early morning.
He can see the shadow of Merle shrug. “It was just one of those nights.”
“That’s a good thing?”
“That’s a good thing.”
“Alright, my man. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
Silence.
“Taako?”
“…Merle.”
“I broke your toilet. And I lit all your incense sticks.”
“Merle?”
“Yeah.”
“I forgive you. But only this one time, homie. Only this one time.”
"Understood.”
“Goodnight.”
“’Night.”
Taako lies back, staring up at the ceiling of blankets, sleep overtaking him. He adds another to the list. He thinks about those kinds of nights where your friends talk until the morning and your body doesn’t even feel tired until you’re lying back and smiling softly. He thinks that maybe it’s gonna be work out alright for ol’ Taako. He thinks that maybe he has friends he can trust.
He falls asleep, tangled up with his friends and dreaming of a future he believes in.
the end