Work Text:
"We should renew our wedding vows."
Alan Shore looked up from the crossword puzzle he was working on, studying his husband and partner over the top of his reading glasses. He tried to avoid wearing the glasses in front of clients, but here with Denny in their own house, there was no one to impress. "It's only been five years, Denny. Most people wait at least a decade before renewing vows."
"Most people aren't Denny Crane," Denny replied, stabbing the air with his cigar as emphasis. "We could go back to Canada. Do some fishing. Invite Shirley and Carl. Hell, we could invite everyone. Jerry and Katie, Brad and Denise, Claire and Clarence. . ." Denny paused, shaking his head once. "Clarence? Clarice? Oprah? Whatever ridiculous name he's using these days."
Alan put the newspaper aside and removed his glasses, setting them carefully on the end table. Against all odds, the experimental medication was still working and if anything, Denny's memory continued to improve. However, the downside was that he now remembered all the crazy hare-brained schemes he once would have forgotten almost as fast as he'd hatched them. Denny had obviously been considering this for awhile, and wasn't about to be swayed. Alan picked up his scotch and took a brief sip. "What about Paul and Edwin?"
That suggestion brought a scowl and a snort of derision. "Paul and his commie Chinese associates are most definitely not invited, and Edwin won't keep his pants on." Denny reached for the bottle of scotch and refilled his own glass. "We could ask the Supreme Court, though. Especially the new girls. I'll even let you have first pick."
"The new girls?"
"Cogan and what's her name. Satomeyer?"
While progression of the Mad Cow might have been arrested, Denny was still horrible at names. Perhaps it was because the only one he ever paid any real attention to was his own. "I believe you are referring to Justices Kagan and Sotomayor."
"Whatever. I just call them the new girls." Denny flipped cigar ash. "You can have your pick. I'll take whichever one you don't."
It was one of the ground rules of their unconventional marriage. Other men were off-limits -- not that it mattered to Denny, who despite all evidence to the contrary still considered himself straight -- but dalliances with women weren't considered cheating. It was an arrangement each of them took occasional advantage of. This wouldn't be one of those times, though. "You can have them both Denny. I'm afraid neither is quite my type."
Denny eyed Alan over the rim of his glass. "Got a thing for Ginsburg, do you? Can't say I blame you. Been there. Had that. She's a hot one. I still get x-rated selfies from her on Valentine's Day."
Alan hoped against hope that Denny was joking, but there were times when even he wasn't sure. "Actually, I think I'll pass on boinking any of the justices. Who knows, perhaps I'll end up trying another case in front of them someday."
"Might? As good as you are, it's only a matter of time. No doubt you'd be there already if you spent more time on real cases and less time doing pro bono charity."
It was an argument as old as their marriage. While they certainly didn't need the money, Denny thought Alan was wasting his talents aiding the homeless, rather than taking on paying clients. More to the point, Denny thought Alan should be building a reputation for himself suing someone like big tobacco or Wall Street banking, rather than defending the local food pantry from being evicted from their building.
"Denny, I'm not worried about it. Sooner or later the right case is going to come along, and the Shore name will be whispered with just as much awe as your own."
"Almost as much awe." Denny leaned across to offer a cigar, which Alan gratefully accepted. "There's only one Denny Crane."
"As it should be." Alan paused to light his cigar.
Denny took the pause as an opening to continue. "Nimmo Bay. We could spend a week or two. Stay in a cabin. Catch some salmon. Chase Shirley around."
"I don't think Carl would appreciate the latter." In truth, Alan suspected Shirley wouldn't appreciate it, either, but knew Denny was convinced she was still attracted to him.
"Screw Carl," Denny replied, but with a levity that suggested he was only kidding.
That was an image he really didn't want to contemplate. "Thanks, but I'll pass."
"So it's settled then. Two weeks at Nimmo Bay to celebrate our anniversary and renew our vows with all our friends."
Knowing it was probably hopeless, Alan tried one last tactic. "Denny, I have cases. Appointments. Clients. I can't just take two weeks. . ."
His husband cut Alan off with a wave of his hand. "Nothing that can't be rescheduled or handled by one of the associates."
Alan sighed, the truth slowly dawning on him. "You've already made our reservations, haven't you?"
Denny grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Made the reservations. Got the plane tickets. Talked to Shirley, Katie, Denise and Claire. They're all going to be there. Only thing left to do is invite Cegan and Sanomayor. And pack our fishing gear, of course."
"Kagan and. . . Oh, never mind." It wasn't worth correcting Denny again. Alan seriously doubted that the justices would make an appearance, regardless of what Denny called them. It was just as well. There was probably some sort of statute about lawyers molesting members of the Supreme Court.
In any event, it seemed as if they were going back to Nimmo Bay, so he might as well make the best of it. Not that he really objected all that much. If it made Denny happy, well, he could survive a few days of roughing it in the Canadian wilderness. As long as the applicable definition of roughing it included a cabin with a toasty fire in the fireplace, gourmet meals and down pillows on the bed. "So, when do we leave?"