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the air is cool & a slight breeze blows against the flames of their campfire where they sit on logs set up up in a ‘u’ shape. it’s only been an hour but taemin’s already screamed three times, mistaking bits of ash for bugs, his body folded in half with his bottle in one hand & the other on jinki’s arm, head on his shoulder. jonghyun sits next to jinki on a log shared with kibum & minho has his own perch directly across from taemin.
the group began drinking long before they sat down, a day at the beach spent in the sun, sand, & surf culminating with everyone a little drunk around a roaring fire. jonghyun is the most plastered & jinki the least, everyone else falling somewhere in-between.
“truth or dare.” jonghyun’s the one who asks, his words a little slurred & his eyes blinking sleepily. taemin snorts & jinki rolls his eyes, kibum ignores the group & minho sits up a little straighter.
“truth.”
“what’s your favorite ship?”
“ship?”
“pairing. fandom pairing. us.” jonghyun gestures at the others with a finger pointed to the sky, looping around three times before it falls limply against his thigh.
minho takes a sip from his log, the one closest to the campfire. the stick in his hand, meant for stoking the flames, pushes against the dirt as he thinks.
“i like all my ships. i love all of you. i love shinee.”
“me too. i love shinee. i loooove shineeeee.”
“what about you jjongie? what’s yours?”
““jongkey,” jonghyun says with a sleepy smile, one hand resting on kibum’s thigh. “and jongyu,” he continues, turning to jinki & sliding an arm over his shoulder. “jongyuuuuu!” a little howl before he rests his head on kibum’s shoulder.
“what about me?”
“you’re so pretty min. & so tall. soooo tallll.” minho smiles & tells jonghyun he’s very pretty too, forgetting to be offended at being overlooked.
“what about you, bum?”
kibum is making faces at a slide show of commes des & garcon on his phone & it takes minho shoving him on the knee to get his attention. the tufts of hair poking out of the little band at the top of his head flutter in the breeze & he frowns as he shoves minho back on the shoulder.
“what about bum?”
“what’s your favorite shinee pairing?” kibum tilts his head & pats minho’s hair.
“minkey.” jonghyun pouts & whines “bummie” while minho smiles in victory. “you always pay.” minho’s smile falters a little & taemin snorts again, flinching when a bit of ember floats a little too close. “no, wait,” he continues, “onkey. jinki pays too. & onbum takes the best pictures. always a good angle. bummie always looks good.” he nods decisively before turning back to his phone still flashing images of his pups in the dark. minho joins jonghyun in pouting.
“ontae,” taemin says a little too quickly, answering a question that was never posed to him. the two pouters look over, distracted from their sorrow by the maknae’s abrupt declaration & chuckling as taemin’s cheeks begin to flush. the glow from kibum’s phone disappears as he tucks it back into his pocket, taking a long sip & remarking, “we know. god how we fucking know.” the three others chuckle, jinki hissing when taemin pinches his arm.
“what about you, leader-nim,” jonghyun asks with a toothy grin & closed eyes, leaning now against kibum with an arm wrapped around his shoulders. “what about you? what about? you? what? about? you?”
jinki laughs as he takes a sip & thinks about the last nine years, about how they all seemed so much younger then. the chasms that seemed so wide then have shrunk to almost nothing & now age really is ‘just a number’.
he thinks about how their relationships have ebbed & flowed, fractured & reformed. they’ve all taken turns being the closest to one another, & they’ve all taken turns being friends with none of them: sometimes it all happens in a single day.
he looks around at the three faces looking back at him from across the flickering flames, the warmth of taemin beside him. he thinks about how they’re more than co-workers, more than friends, a tether that has no word to signify the depths of their connection to each other, little mementos scattered along the way to remind them all that they are “shining shinee”.
faces smashed into a cake to celebrate another year of living; messages sent on holidays & posted on-line so that the world can see how abused jonghyun is by his members; gifts that are heartfelt & thoughtful on the anniversary of their debut that are given by kibum; minho’s smiling face suddenly appearing at every stage, scene, moment that is important to his friends because he is shinee’s #1 fan; taemin answering “are you friends with the other members?” with “no, they are my family”; puns from jinki & all the quiet ways he supports the others, face hidden because he’s there as lee jinki & not “shinee’s leader onew”.
he thinks about how they’ve loved & hated & admired & disdained & every complex & simple emotion one another as a group through the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years.
almost a decade now.
he takes another sip & smiles at his teammates. “the kids”, he used to think, when they began calling him “old man”. a moniker that was at first begrudged but that he now wears proudly. “the kids”, he thinks. his “kids”.
his.
he grins.
“the millennium falcon.” there’s silence that hangs in the air, permeated only by the crackling flames, jinki waiting for the inevitable & barely suppressing his own laughter. & it’s kibum who breaks first, a loud groan that reverberates through the chill night air, joined soon by jonghyun & minho’s protestations & a weak punch from taemin.
worth it.
~
ten minutes later
~
“hey!” taemin cries, sitting up so fast he nearly knocks jinki over. “why didn’t any of you fuckers pick me?!”
“minho did,” jonghyun points out from where he’s moved to sit between kibum & minho. his head rests in kibum’s lap while the other plays with his hair, legs propped up on the log behind minho & acting as a cushion for his pal.
“i love all of you,” minho replies, bottle clutched to his chest, “i love all of shinee. you’re shinee taem. so shiny.”
“exactly, you picked all of them. & jonghyun picked jinki & kibum & kibum picked jinki & you & none of you fuckers picked me.” jonghyun & minho take a sip in unison, gazes turning in opposite directions & definitely not in taemin’s.
“well bum’s sticking with onkey,” kibum says, leaning forward to grab his drink. “good gifts & great pictures. besides,” he continues, taking a sip, “you didn’t pick us either.”
jonghyun & minho turn to him then, frowning & saying “yeah!” in unison.
“fine. i pick taekey too.” kibum nods & raises his bottle in salutation.
“& 2min?” taemin glares across the flames at minho.
“you gave our name to jimin, you asshat! on national television!” minho sits up then, glaring back.
“we could still be taeminho! we made it up ourselves!”
“no one calls us that!!! that ship has sailed, you backstabber!” their eyes narrow at each other as they each take a sip.
“so does that mean you ship 2min or...” taemin whips his head in jonghyun’s direction, scowl making the other flinch. “what?”
“you know what.”
“so...no jongtae?”
“you said you’re my mom! & you didn’t even pick me! fan club president my ass.”
“fine! then i’m adding jongho to my list.” minho throws up a hand & jonghyun slaps at it, catching it on the fifth try.
“fine!”
“fine!” jonghyun snuggles in closer to kibum who pats his head absently. taemin huffs & mutters “asshat” as jinki chuckles & pulls him back, wrapping an arm around his shoulder & tucking him into his side.
kids.