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His mother bursts out crying when Isak tells her and it make his insides go cold with fear.
Fear that everything up to this point, the blanket acceptance and the tentative approval and the soft smile when she'd said, "I'd always hoped you'd find someone who looks at you the way that boy does," was all just pretend.
She must see that. How scared he is that he's not really-- that he's not her son. That this is what exposes the fakeness of her apparent unconditional love.
"No, baby, no," she says through the tears, wiping at them. She's off the chair in the kitchen of Isak's childhood home immediately, pulling him up from where he was sitting on the one next to hers. His mother hugs him, saying, "Isak, no. This isn't because of that. It's not because Even's a boy."
"It's not?" Isak asks, not really recognising his voice although this feeling of relief is familiar.
"No, I told you. You'll always be my son," she says, pulling away from him. She's still crying.
"But you don't approve of this," he says. It's not a question. She looks miserable. Has since he told her.
"Isak, you're eighteen!"
Oh. The age thing. Isak can work work with that, if it's just the age thing and not, like, homophobia.
"Yeah," he sighs, "I am."
***
The first time Even says it, says, "Marry me," he's manic.
Isak's breath catches in his throat, his heart beating about ten times faster than it should-- even though he knows what this is.
And he's reminded of Even-- sitting naked on the floor of a hotel room with him, talking about serving mini burgers at their wedding and saying, I'll save you right back.
This time, Isak doesn't have a thousand doubts or questions floating though his head. This time he understands and this time, when he says, "Okay," there isn't an undercurrent of what the actual fuck, thrumming through his insides.
He says it with a smile and complete fondness because Even's lit up, even more than he's been the last twenty eight hours or so from his elevated mood. He looks so genuinely happy and Isak knows. He knows the fall that comes for Even after the high. He knows that in a few hours, days... Even isn't going to be that happy. He won't be able to smile.
So Isak says it again, "Okay, I'll marry you," and watches the smile he loves with his whole heart bloom even wider.
***
Jonas punches him in the arm when he tells him.
"Man, what the fuck?" He asks, sounding more confused than angry. But he does sound angry. Yeah. Definately.
Isak shrugs, "What do you mean?"
"You're going to...you're getting...what? he asks, arms stretching wide and Isak is vaguely amused at how Jonas can't even bring himself to say the words.
Isak nods his head and tries not to grin too much or anything. He doesn't want Jonas to think he's making a joke.
"I'm getting married," Isak confirms. "To Even," in case that isn't clear. He kind of wants to punch himself in the face for the way his voice sounds. The way he kind of can't stand still, not when he thinks it, rocking up and down on his feet in just...pure excitement.
"Why are you...is Even manic or something?"
This time it's Isak who punches Jonas on his arm, a little harder than he punched Isak because, how? How the fuck could he think Isak would do that?
"Sorry," Jonas says, grimacing as he rubs at his probably bruised arm. "That was a stupid thing to say."
"Yes, it was," Isak agrees.
"You're really getting married, dude?"
Isak sounds a little breathless when he says, "Yeah. We are."
***
The second time Even says it, he's balls deep inside of Isak's ass.
And it's been good, it's been so good. They're both a little drunk from pre-gaming with the boys for a party they didn't actually go to. So that's helped because they've been going at it for a while now. Started out with Isak on his knees and then he rode Even for a while until Even flipped them over, putting Isak's legs over his shoulders and going so deep and Isak's been on the cusp of coming his brains out for a while now.
When Even says it, his dirty talk evolving from praising Isak's ass and how amazing and fucking tight it is to, "Jesus, baby...fuck, Isak. Marry me," that's enough to send him hurtling over the edge into a blinding orgasm that makes him feel like he's going to die from how instense it is. Turns out he's just going to black out for a little while.
Even's laughing at him when he comes out of it, wearing that smug smile he always gets when he's fucked Isak so good that his brain chemistry literally could not handle it.
Isak rolls his eyes and lifts weak arms to pull Even close, to kiss that complete and total smugness off his perfect face.
They don't talk about what Even said...it's just sex talk after all.
***
Magnus pulls him into a bear hug that squeezes Isak's lungs, it's so tight.
"Dude, this is amazing! We're getting married!"
Well, no. Isak and Even are getting married but Magnus has always been a little... enthusiastic about their relationship. He congratulates Isak at least once a week on securing such a fine piece of man ass. Isak's stopped rolling his eyes by now and resigned himself to just saying, "Thank you, Magnus," and hoping he doesn't go off on another tangent about Even's hair.
When Magnus is done hugging him, he goes for Even, this hug remaining shorter than Isak's and Isak can't help but feel a little relieved at that. Magnus' crush on his boyfriend will never not be weird.
Not boyfriend, Isak's mind reminds him. Fiancee.
He meets Even's eyes and he's not sure, what it is that's showing on his face but it makes Even wink at him and Isak, because he also has a ridiculous crush on the man, blushes bright pink.
"You guys are so cute," Magnus says, not nearly for the first time.
"Thank you, Magnus," Even solemnly nods his head. "We really are."
***
The third (or is it forth, does the time at the hotel count?) time Even "proposes," they're slow dancing at his ridiculously lavish 21st Birthday... Isak is reluctant to call it a party it's more like a fucking ball or something.
He was very surprised to find out that Even was rich - I'm not rich, Isak. My parents are, okay? - and that the apartment he brought Isak to that first day - and every time since they moved in together - was just a shared one that he had with some of his sister's friends.
That's who threw Even this thing-- her and his mother. They went all out and even asked Isak's opinion on a few things and that was nice. That they wanted to include him even through he knows nothing about table settings or whether it would be best to have an orchestra or a live band. Well, no. He'd told them to just get a freaking DJ and although they'd pulled their faces a little bit, they'd agreed to Isak's suggestion.
And now said DJ is playing Kissing You by Desiree because Isak told him to because he's a total sap but Even that much more so and they're dancing and it's lovely and Even says, leaning even closer and putting his lips right against Isak's ear, says, "We should dance to this song at our wedding."
And of course Even feels the shiver that goes through Isak at those words, the way it affects him. Making his heart race against his chest. Against Even's chest. Isak's sure he can feel it's beat even through the nice suit that Isak's wearing and the gorgeous one that Even has on that's made Isak's breath catch in his throat every time he's looked at him.
"Is that a yes?" Even asks and Isak can't see his smirk, not when Even's cheek is pressed against his like this, as they move together to this increadible song but he knows Even well enough to know it's there.
"Yeah," Isak says, knows he's blushing again. Fuck, if anyone looked at them right now, they'd think Even was whispering sex stuff into his ear. "We can do that."
"You're saying you'll marry me?" Even asks, voice dead serious and Isak's stomach flips but he ignores that tone. Even doesn't mean it. Well. He probably does but he doesn't mean it like, Will you marry me? He's talking about some vague point in the future.
Either way though...Isak's answer will always be the same.
"Yes," he says and feels Even's smile form against his skin.
***
Mahdi is weirded out but trying his utmost best not to show it.
Isak can appreciate that because he sort of gets it because Mahdi, unlike Jonas or Magnus or Isak, has never had a serious relationship, choosing instead to hook up when and wherever possible because, in his own words, "I'm too busy enjoying life for that stuff."
So yeah. Isak understands.
"But yeah, I'm happy for you, dude," his friend says, slapping him on the back and he means it, Isak can tell. And that alone means the world to Isak.
"Thanks, man," he says, "Me too."
***
The next time Even says it, they're sitting on their couch in their apartment. Isak with his back against the arm rest, Mario Puzo's The Godfather, in his lap and his feet resting on Even's, getting a very nice foot massage.
Even's mostly been just...staring at him. And between that and the touching (not that Isak has a thing for feet or anything) it's been getting a little difficult to concentrate on his book. Still, he's snapped out of it, when Even says, "Let's get married."
Isak immediately closes his book, not bothering to mark the page he was on since he's read the thing about ten times already, giving Even his full attention.
He expected to find Even looking amused at his own joke or well, nervous if it isn't one but Even looks calm. There's a sea of emotions swimming in his blue eyes, sure, but unlike Isak he isn't breathing heavily or anything. He looks fucking serene to be honest.
"Huh?" Isak asks, dumbly.
"Look," Even says, his hands on Isak's feet stilling, although he doesn't move to remove them from his lap. "I know you still have a few months of school left and everything but I think we could, I mean..." And now Even looks nervous. Not a lot but it's there. "I want you to think about it, okay? Just consider it."
"You're serious," Isak says.
Even nods, "Yeah, I...want to. I really want to..."
"Why?" Isak asks and immediately Even looks completely offended.
"What do you mean, why? Because you're amazing and because I love you...I'm so much in love with you and I want you to be mine. I want you to be my husband."
"Oh my God," Isak says, because...yeah.
What the fuck else is he supposed to say.
"Look," Even puts his hands up, like he's trying to calm Isak down or something. "Obviously I'm not trying to pressure you into anything, I know...I know this isn't conventional or whatever because of our age and I'd never want you to do something like this just to make me happy.
"If you don't want to, or if you don't want to yet then that's completely fine. It's okay if you're not ready."
"Of course I want to," Isak's mouth says before he can think about it. He freaks out as soon as he's processed the words he just uttered. "I mean...no," Even's face falls-- but only slightly. Shit. "No, I don't mean no no, I just don't mean yes."
Even swallows thickly. Nods his head. Fuck. This is coming out so wrong.
Isak takes a deep breath and tries again. "What I'm trying to say, Even my love, is that I'm not saying yes. Yet. I just...need to understand a little more. Where this is coming from and like, what it would mean, you know. I want us to have a conversation about it."
Several conversations preferably.
"Okay," Even runs a hand through his hair, "I guess...well. My parents got married pretty young and I know it was a different time and everything. But I never thought like, I had to be a specific age for it or anything like that. I just hoped I'd find the perfect person, you know. Not perfect like they're perfect in every way but that they'd be perfect for me.
"And then I met you and...I sort of immediately knew that it could be you. And while that was a little scary at the time because of everything else going on...it was also a relief because a part of me kind of always thought that we'd figure it out. I mean, we had to. Because I'd waited my entire, admittedly short, life for you.
"And here you are and... we're together and happy and even though it's not perfect, even though it's not easy all the time, it's what I want. Forever. You're what I want forever and we're so getting married, I know that. I'm going to marry you some day, whether it's next week or next month or five, ten years from now."
Even shrugs, "I just don't see any point of waiting...besides you needing us to. Because I'd wait forever for you to be honest."
Even nods his head, seemingly content with his speech.
Isak promptly bursts into tears.
And Even looks completely horrified-- and scared and no, that's not happening. He doesn't get to look like that after...all of that.
So Isak throws the book off of him and crawls over to Even and straddles his lap. He folds his arms around his neck, buries his face there and he can't stop crying it's so stupid but he feels so much and his mind or his heart, whatever, it can't take it. It's too big... too increadible, for him to handle. How much he loves Even. It completely overwhelms him.
"Hush, baby," Even pets his head, as his other hand rubs circles on his lower back. "It's okay, I've got you. You're fine."
"I just-- " Isak tries to talk but it's hard to form words. To explain to Even what he's feeling. He isn't like Even. He isn't good with words. Doesn't know, always, what the perfect thing is to say. Even gets that about him though. Even understands him to his core.
"Ssh, it's okay," Even says again. "I love you, Isak. I do. I'll love you forever."
And the same is true for Isak. He knows that. He's known it for a long time and it's scared him. It's kept him awake at night sometimes. He'd lie in their bed and watch Even sleeping and think, How am I supposed to ever live my life without you, and he'd pray, all the time, to a God he doesn't even believe in, that he never has to find out.
And that's what Even's offering. Right here and now. It's what he's telling Isak he can have. Even as his for the rest of their lives. He can be...God. He could be Even's husband. His forever. Isak doesn't know what sound he makes at that idea but whatever it is, it makes Even hold onto him even tighter.
"I love you," he tells Isak again and even though Isak can't find the words, he can say it in a different way.
So he lifts his head, tangles his fingers in Even's hair and takes Even's mouth in a kiss that tastes like salt and Even and everything that Isak wants for the rest of his life.
***
So it turns out Even got his romantic streak from his parents, who apparently got married when they were both eighteen, after only knowing each other for two months. Isak should probably be relieved then, that Even waited at least a year to spring this on him.
Actually no. That isn't true.
Isak's since decided that the hotel room proposal does count. He's decided that each and every one of them count. The same way every moment with Even counts. Jesus. Isak is such a sap... but it's probably okay since he's a sap for the person who's totally going to be his freaking husband.
"We'll pay for it obviously," Even's mother is saying. "No need to use your trust to pay for a wedding when you're going to need a house and so many things and building a life together," and yup. There come the waterworks. Even's mom is literally crying with happiness right now. That's a thing that's happening.
Isak feels a twinge of sadness that his own mother cried for the completely opposite reason-- but it's okay. While she's not one hundred percent on board with this, she's been warming up to the idea a little bit everyday. It helps that Isak's dad keeps reminding her that he's an adult despite the fact that he'll always be her baby.
"That's cool guys," Even says, "If you want to pay for it but Isak and I don't want or need anything huge, okay?"
"Okay," Even's mom nods, close to bursting with excitement. "We won't do huge. Two hundred guests maximum."
Isak startles, turning to look at Even for support-- but finds his fiancee nodding along.
"That sounds reasonable," Even says.
Isak turns back-- and meets Even's father's eyes. The man gives him a look of sympathy, along with a shrug like, What can you do? Which is fair but Christ. Isak doesn't even know two hundred people.
That's probably okay though because when he tunes back into the conversation, it's to find Even and his mother already compiling the guest list.
Okay then.
***
They've talked about it a lot since that afternoon when Isak was reading The Godfather, and Even made him have an emotional breakdown by - as per usual - being everything that Isak's ever wanted.
It's been weird. He'd be doing things like...sitting next to Sana in biology...or playing video games with Jonas and getting dorito crumbs all over his controller...
And he'd think back to conversations with Even-- about stuff like how getting married would affect Isak's plans for university and if and when they'd want to have kids.
They're definitely going to do it. It's obvious. They both know it because they get all giddy when they talk about it and fuck each other's brains out afterwards, sometimes in the middle of it because instead of dirty talk, these days, the quickest way to get Isak to come is for Even to whisper in his ear how much he wants to make Isak his husband. Jesus.
So yeah, it's happening but it's not like official or anything yet.
Then Even says, one night when they're lying in bed, Isak being the little spoon, as they're about to fall asleep--
"Feel like visiting Fredrikstad with me next weekend? My parents have a house there...it's nice."
And his voice is calm, if Isak didn't know him, he wouldn't know a thing.
But he does know Even and he hears it, the small bit of nerves in Even's voice.
Isak hides his smile into his pillow.
"That sounds nice," he tells Even.
"Yeah? You sure?"
"I'm sure," Isak says.
They take Even's parents' boat out the Saturday afternoon. Isak was a bit dubious about it at first but Even knows what he's doing. It's kind of hot actually.
Even does it at sun set, the sea around them calm and the wind only slightly chilling as Isak stands on the deck, staring at Even on his knees in front of him. The sky is a bright hue of pinks and oranges and it's beautiful but Isak only has eyes for Even.
Even who asks him a question he's asked many times before and like always, like every time--
There's only one answer that Isak has to give him.
***
Isak gets married when he's eighteen years old and no, he can't believe it either.
That he's this happy. This luckily.
"I'm the lucky one," Even says.
And it's such a cheesy line and it shouldn't do things for Isak. But it does-- makes his heart swell almost as much as when Even said his vows two hours earlier and Isak - predictably - lost his shit and started crying.
It's okay though-- he spotted Even's mom, his mom and Jonas, doing the exact same. Every one of them happy tears.
And now there's the orchestra - the actual fucking orchestra, Jesus Christ - playing the instrumental version of Kissing You just like Even said.
There's also Isak, dancing with his husband.