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Tony padded, barefoot, along the dark, quiet hallways of the Malibu mansion. The house was utterly still, as asleep as its occupants - all save Tony. His teammates would be spread out on cool sheets, their breathing deep and calm.
Tony was anything but calm.
He slid the patio door open as quietly as he could and stepped out on the flagstone slabs. The air was heavy and humid, weighing him down oppressively. It was that saturated, summer air that could only break one way, and even in the dark, he could see the dangerous clouds gathering far out on the ocean horizon.
The glow from the arc reactor was just enough to pick his way to the edge of the dark patio. He leaned far out over the stone wall until it felt like there was nothing between him and miles of empty saltwater. He could step forward and open his arms and fly on forever.
Flying away. That’s what he was doing, wasn’t it? Running.
Realizing he was in love with Steve had been a shock of ice water down Tony’s spine, making him gasp and stagger with the realization: this feeling wasn’t going to go away. And so he decided to give in, give up, abandon his team. And somehow he had to tell them. Tell him.
He wanted Steve so badly. The weight of it dragged his shoulders down, pulled his smile to a frown, and grounded his soaring feet to the patio stones. He’d known it for months, felt the heaviness of it, but it took some snide comment from Clint about mistletoe and Steve's equally dismissive response for Tony to realize he wouldn’t be able to let this go. It wasn’t a crush that would fade with time and exposure. It wasn’t a flickering spark, burning out as quickly as it flared up.
It was a deep-rooted blaze that was growing and crackling and consuming him.
He couldn’t need this badly and make this team work. He’d told himself this trip to California was about team bonding, taking a break, and treating his family, but that was a lie. It was one last hurrah because they all needed to go back and he needed to stay here, alone. He needed to breathe air that hadn’t been in Steve’s lungs first.
A soft, sweet lapping of water broke into his thoughts. It wasn’t the distant, harsh rush of the ocean far below him, or the faraway rumble of the gathering storm; it was closer and gentle. He pulled his gaze away from the sea and followed the stone wall to the edge of the patio. Three steps below was the pool deck, and in the water was a shape.
The shape grew shadowy arms and moved - glided - through the water from one side of the pool to the other. Tony’s heart skipped up into overdrive. He knew who it was, without being able to make out any features, just from the kick of adrenaline pulsing through his veins. He should turn around, go back inside; he should back up and walk away and text Steve that he was staying and then lock himself in his workshop and never emerge.
But his feet moved forward instead. He scrambled down the steps to the pool deck. The stone was rough on his bare feet, and he tipped up onto his toes.
Steve’s super-powered hearing must have caught his minute steps because he stopped his shadowy strokes across the pool and turned. His sharp, blue eyes peered through the darkness, reflecting the anemic, yellow glow leaking out of the house. Tony was, as always, lit up like a Christmas tree so he knew there was no chance Steve wouldn’t register who the intruder was.
“Tony?” There was an edge of something uncertain in Steve’s voice that gave Tony pause.
Faint thunder rolled in the distance. Tony covered the reactor with one palm to block out the light, willing his pupils to dilate and solidify the edges of Steve’s shape. When Tony reached the edge of the pool, the shape caught a beam of light from the tiny sliver of moon above and Steve took form. He treaded water easily, hovering in the middle of the pool, eyes fixed on Tony.
A flash of water-rippled skin caught the meager light and Tony felt his cheeks heat. He forced a cocky swagger into his voice. “Steve, are you skinny dipping?”
Hand to god, he could hear Steve blush.
“I thought everyone was asleep,” he grumbled, drifting away from the light and towards the dark edges of the pool.
Tony bit back a sigh at the loss of hints of marble muscles and long legs. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“That’s okay.” Steve rolled in the water, his hair dipping in and spraying droplets as he twisted. “I was in the army. I don’t really have shame anymore.”
Tony chuckled then felt awkward, hovering there. The water looked invitingly fresh in contrast to the sauna that was the Malibu night, but despite his shirt clinging to his back with sweat, Tony stayed on the deck.
He was torn, wanting to jump in the cool water beside Steve (and maybe get an eyeful of what was hidden under the darkened waterline), but knowing he should leave. He should say goodnight and go back to his room to jack off again with Steve’s name on his lips, groan himself to sleep, and forget this mess until morning. But he didn’t move.
A breeze whipped fresh, cool air around his face, bringing temporary relief with it, and he looked out at the gathering storm. “It’s going to be a big one.”
Steve turned to face the same direction. Tony closed his eyes and breathed in; there was lightening in the air. Steve folded his arms over the edge of the pool. Tony could see the little flashes of white as he kicked his feet out behind him.
Maybe it was the childishness of Steve’s little kicks, or how unabashedly he owned his nudity, but Tony’s hesitancy was, at least temporarily, abandoned. He scrambled down to the opposite edge of the pool, pulled up the cuffs of his cotton pajama pants, and sat, dropping his feet in the water.
The cold was a sharp shock to his system, colder than he’d expected, and he gasped. Steve half turned towards him, then looked back out at the roiling clouds and tempestuous sea. Something shifted and a slash of cool moonlight broke across Steve’s back. His smooth skin glowed in the dark, like he had something more powerful and more beautiful than an arc reactor hidden there.
“Steve, I’m not coming back to New York,” Tony tumbled out, through the second half of a sucked in breath.
Steve spun sharply to face him, the water sloshing with the movement. “What do you mean?” It was sharp and too loud for the empty night. Tony winced.
He tried to keep the waver out of his voice. “I need a break.” Failed.
Steve was silent for a long time. Tony could feel his intent gaze from across the pool. He wondered how much he was giving away to super-soldier sight, in the light of the reactor.
“A break from what?” Steve asked carefully, quieter now.
Too much, clearly. But Tony realized with gut-wrenching clarity that he needed to give it all away, because Steve wouldn’t let him leave for anything less than the truth. Still, better to throw it to a dark, stormy night than air it out in the harsh light of day.
“From you.” There was a short, startled splash, then all was quiet again. “I can’t be around you all the time. It’s too much. I need time to - to get over it.” Tony took a shaky breath. “To get over wanting you so badly it hurts.”
It was out there. It was out there, and he couldn’t take it back.
Tony dropped his eyes and paddled his feet in the water, the soft rippling noises soothing his racing heart. He could hear the gentle splashing of Steve coming closer, but he couldn’t look up and see the fear or pity or rejection. He fixed his eyes on the undulating ridges of water disappearing into the dark with every kick.
A cool hand slid around his ankle and his breath caught, feet stilled. The wet, slick skin of Steve’s chest pressed against Tony’s leg, plastering the fabric of his pants against his skin. Steve was icy-cold relief against his heated calf. Tony’s breath caught, not from the temperature shock, but from the sudden, overwhelming presence of the other man.
“Tony," Steve whispered, and Tony finally looked up.
He barely had time to register what was not fear or pity or rejection but rather open adoration, before Steve’s hands were clawing at him, pulling on his clothes, yanking him forward. He slid off the edge of the pool, yelping, but Steve was there, holding him tight, drawing him recklessly down into the pool. Steve kept whispering his name over and over. He met his eyes and they were desperate, hot, greedy.
It was deep here, too deep for Tony’s toes to touch the bottom, but somehow Steve had him, had him held tight and safe.The cool water nipped its way up his body and he struggled to find a breath inside the tight band it wrapped around his chest. He gasped his lungs free, but as soon he adjusted to the temperature and found his breath again, Steve stole it. He caged him against the pool wall, leaned in, and pressed cool, damp lips to Tony’s.
The kiss was instantly fierce and needy, like Steve needed Tony’s warmth and breath to keep him alive. He sucked the oxygen out of Tony’s lungs, leaving him barely conscious in return. They gasped and surged and pressed together. Steve sucked Tony’s bottom lip between his and their ankles banged together as he fought to match every inch of his skin to the opposite on Tony.
Tony splashed his hands free of the water, ignoring the droplets that flicked on his face and in his eyes, and furrowed his fingers deep in Steve’s wet hair. Steve had him pressed hard against the edge of the pool and he could feel every naked inch of him through the thin fabric of his pajamas. The water pulled heavy on his clothing, threatening to drag him down into dark nothing, but Steve held him in granite arms, refusing to let the depths have him.
With a shuddering breath against Tony’s lips, Steve calmed, slowed. One hand slipped from the pool edge to the back of Tony’s neck, making him arch back into the touch and hips forward against Steve’s. Steve slotted them together just right, deepening the kiss, taking his time with Tony.
The loss of urgency gave Tony some space to think, but not enough to think coherently. Steve had shifted in one heartbeat from untouchable perfection to wrapped solidly around him and Tony wasn’t entirely sure how that shift had happened. He thought maybe he should ask, say something, clarify? But there were much more enjoyable things he could do with his mouth.
Maybe Steve could feel Tony’s mind wandering because he ramped it up again, digging his fingers a little too hard into the back of Tony’s neck and scraping his teeth along Tony’s jaw. Tony gave as good as he got, nipping Steve’s lips whenever he had access, then drifting away to lick beads of water off his cheeks and nose and eyelids.
Tony wrapped his legs around one of Steve’s thighs and squeezed. Steve groaned and his grip on the pool edge loosened. They both slipped down a little, water splashing up over their mouths and noses and making them cough and sputter. They pulled back far enough to find air, chins tickled by the gentle waves beneath them. Steve dropped his arm under the water, winding it around Tony’s waist and holding him up out of the water.
“Wow, you’ll go to any lengths to keep the team together, won’t you?” Tony joked, the effect somewhat spoiled by the breathiness he couldn’t banish from his voice.
“I’ve been waiting for you for so long.” Steve growled, low and frustrated and possessive. An electric shock started at the back of Tony’s neck and crackled south in ever-spreading branches of heated need. They were both hard, it was obvious with only a layer of thin, wet cotton between them, but the arousal was nothing to the feeling that was Steve’s arm around his waist, the back of his neck pressed into Tony’s palm, the sodden cords of hair wound between his fingers.
The half-submerged arc reactor threw broken, blue-tinged light across Steve’s face, flickering as the water lapped against Tony’s chest. He’d been waiting? Waiting for Tony? It seemed impossible, unfathomable, that solid, unwavering, dependable Steve - Cap - his leader, wanted him. But here he was, risking drowning to be close to him.
Tony reached up and pushed Steve’s sopping hair away from his eyes. They caught the cool, blue glow. Wonder. It was the only word for what he found there.
“Steve - “ he started, voice cracking, but Steve kissed him again, leaning back, holding Tony against his chest with one hand, and clinging to the edge with the other, one foot braced against the pool wall. Tony felt weightless, floating with Steve below him, legs tangling and untangling as the water wafted around them. Steve’s lips had robbed some of his warmth and his tongue was hot and delicious against his skin.
Out to sea, the thunder rolled and growled, vibrating deep inside Tony’s chest. He clung to Steve’s chest, trusting him to keep them afloat. He could feel Steve’s heart pounding against the arc reactor and he slowed and eased the kiss, pouring calm he barely felt himself into Steve with every gentle touch of their lips.
They rocked easily together, losing all sense of time, first kissing, then stopping to press their noses against each other’s or breaking away to gasp when an easy roll of hips shot heady arousal to the frontlines again.
Steve’s foot slipped and they dropped again. He huffed a frustrated noise out of his nose and pushed away hard from the pool wall, clutching Tony tightly to his chest. They zipped through the water until Steve slowed, twisted, and Tony felt his feet hit the bottom.
The water was only chest deep here and Tony wasted no time in using the new advantage to take control of things. He wrapped his arms around Steve’s ribs, stroked his back, buried his face in his neck. Steve sighed happily, clutching handfuls of Tony’s sopping t-shirt as if he was worried he might slip away.
Tony nuzzled his chilled nose behind Steve’s ear. He smelled like chlorine and summer night and a spiciness that was uniquely Steve. “Waiting for me?” he whispered into Steve’s goose-pimpled shoulder.
“For so long,” he whispered back.
“I didn’t know.”
Steve’s arms just tightened around him, mirroring Tony’s position so they were wrapped together, faces tucked into each other’s necks. Tony couldn’t help letting his hands drift a little south, thrilling at the bare hips he brushed his thumbs over. Steve ground forward against him, letting out a little helpless noise and Tony pulled them impossibly closer.
The thunder sounded again; Tony knew they shouldn’t stay in the water during a storm, but each “one more minute” stacked on the one before, over and over, and time floated on.
Tony didn’t realize he was shivering until Steve finally broke away, ran a tender hand along his jaw, then guided him gently to the pool steps and urged him out. Steve followed him onto the deck, unphased by his nudity, and pulled Tony close against his chest, rubbing his hands over his back and arms. Tony’s pajamas clung wetly to his stomach and thighs, water sluicing down onto the deck with every movement.
Steve pulled him into a close embrace. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pulled you in. You’re so cold.”
“Are you kidding?” Tony buried his face into Steve’s chest though he was chilled too, and it provided no relief for his own icy skin. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”
Steve chuckled. “Can’t have been that hot, you’re an ice cube now.”
“Takes one to know one.” He tried to keep his teeth from chattering so maybe they could stand out here all night, pressed together in the heavy, summer night, but Steve wasn’t fooled.
He grabbed a towel from one of the deck chairs and wrapped it around Tony’s shoulders. “We should - “
And the heavens burst open.
Neither had noticed that the storm had worked its way across the black glass of the ocean and over the cliffside house. The clouds gave way and rain pelted down over them. Steve yelped in surprise and Tony laughed, tipping his head up. The rain was hot against his chilled skin and he was already too wet to care. He pulled Steve in again for another smiling, laughing, stumbling kiss as they tripped back to the doors and inside.