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Everything had fallen to pieces, Evan had known from the start of all of this, that it was wrong, but as soon as he started to get the attention from everyone, he couldn’t stop himself anymore.
Now, everything had quieted down and Evan knew that after all of this, there was only one last thing he had to do.
He had to apologise to Jared.
So he held his phone in his hand, his thumb hovering over the call button. He sucked in a deep breath and pressed it. It rang once and Evan wanted to hang up, but he didn’t. He knew he had to do this. It rang once more and then he heard Jared’s familiar voice.
“What do you want, Hansen?” He snarled through the phone and Evan felt himself flinch.
“I need to talk to you” He managed to speak into the phone, his lips were trembling and he wasn’t sure if he was going to make it through this call without having a panic attack, but he had to do this.
“Oh? Suddenly I’m good enough to talk to you again?” Jared sarcastically but frustratedly said through the phone. Evan could almost see Jared throw his hands up annoyedly.
Evan felt his breath quicken and he tried to do his breathing exercises.
“Jared, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone. I shouldn’t have shut you out” His voice and hands started to shake. “I shouldn’t have been such a huge dick” Evan managed to stutter out.
“Well, but you were and to be honest, I really don't want to talk to you at the moment,” Jared said, a hint of sadness in his voice.
“Jared, please! Hear me out for a second,” Evan almost yelled into the phone. There was a deafening radio silence coming from the other end, but Jared hadn't hung up. So Evan just started to speak.
“I know that there are no words to apologise for what I've done. I've hurt you, I've used your skills to help me lie and then I just left you, I left you hanging and I thought it was okay. I didn't have the feeling that you wanted to hang out with me anyway.
I didn't think I was your friend. I didn't think that I could hurt you like this. But I did, and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Jared,” Evans breathing was still quick and his grip around his phone tightened, his other hand was squeezing his thigh tightly, ranking his fingernails into his flesh.
He stopped breathing while waiting for Jareds reply. Holding big breaths before letting them out softly, he was already falling into a panic attack.
He heard the other sick in a breath, before hearing his voice.
“Don't ever call this number again” he spoke through gritted teeth, and Evan fell to his knees. He started crying into his hands, sobbing.
Jared's voice was gone and the only thing he heard was the loud beeps, signalling that Jared had hung up.
Evan had lost everything. His only friend, his girlfriend, the person that he knew would have understood him if he was still alive.
Evan had lost everything, so he gave up.