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The thing is that after a long time of mourning Lincoln, and tiring months of bad shit happening, she is finally back in the dating pool. And, well, her lucky pick happens to be a girl. Which is not a problem on itself, because she is cool and into girls, too, and really, Daisy is not asking for much more than someone to cuddle with in front of the TV and someone who wouldn’t try to give their life in exchange for hers. She has had enough heroism to last her a lifetime, please and thank you.
So the girl herself is not the problem, the problem is that this incipient relationship leads to the question of how on earth tell the team. It’s not that she needs to tell them, and make a big deal out of coming out, but they are her family, and she wants to share this part of herself and this small amount of growing happiness with them. In any other circumstances, the easy way would be to just bring the girl to dinner and let the rest do the math. But, considering their circumstances, that plan has two flaws:
One: Coulson would probably have a heart attack.
Two: They can’t exactly tell her that they are a secret organization that has been labeled as the bad guys more than once, so they would have to lie massively, and Simmons would freak out and expect them to learn full binders of detailed backstories and no, thank you.
She ponders over getting all of them together and telling all at once, but she decides against it, because it would feel too much like she is making a big fuss about it, and that’s not what she wants. She wants them to know, not to have to tell them.
She decides to start small, and her safest bet seems to be Fitzsimmons. She is not sure why, maybe because they are the youngest, or maybe because she wants their support if someone else reacts badly (she doesn’t even consider the possibility that one or both of them might react badly, because she doesn’t know how she would handle it).
She is trying to act normal, but she knows she might be failing, because Fitz sends weird looks her way every so often, while Jemma happily chatters away about something or other that Daisy is totally blocking because she can’t hear anything else than the beating of her own heart. (So much for this not being a big deal.)
She is almost sure that she interrupted Simmons in the middle of a sentence, but she can not keep on waiting any longer or she will implode from the pressure of this.
“I’m dating a girl.” Okay, that is what she wanted them to know, but not how she was planning on telling them. “Because I’m bi.” They exchange a glance, their trademark Fitzsimmons Silent Communication Glance, and she starts sweating for no reason. “Not that I chose a girl because I’m bi, I’m dating her because she is awesome and she likes me back, but I can date her because I’m bi? How can I phrase this without sounding terrible? Please, say something before I keep stucking my foot further inside my mouth.”
She is bouncing on her seat, full of nervous energy, and Jemma puts a hand on her shoulder.
“That’s nice, Daisy. We are happy for you.”
“That’s it? You are not going to say anything else?”
It’s not that she wants them to make a big deal out of it, but… she kind of was expecting at least a bigger deal than this?
There is the glance again, and Daisy is about to get up and thanks them and go scream inside her bunk. This is going well enough, she is not going to ruin it, but then Fitz takes a step forward and raises his right hand on her direction.
“Group high-five?” He looks around and Jemma is rolling her eyes at him, but Daisy raises her hand, and when they are about to crash, he speaks again. “Or should I say bi-five? ”
They high-five out of momentum, and he smiles, very pleased with himself.
“Ugh, Fitz.”
“Jemma, what’s the point of being bisexual if I can’t even make puns about it!”
Daisy gapes at him.
“But you.. you...?”
She only then notices that he is blushing, and that’s good, because it means that he is also nervous about this, and that helps. She can make this easy if it means making it easy for him.
“Yes.”
“And you never said a word!”
“It never came up in conversation.”
She almost hugs him, but for some reason she thinks it will be better to handle this in a less emotional way, so she nudges him on the side.
“How could it came up in conversation when you have been practically married to Simmons since you were sixteen?”
He blushes again, and Daisy feels wonderful, because not only her friends are being accepting of it, but also because they are sharing themselves with her too. She doesn’t need someone else in the community to make her feel better, but it is nice to know that there is someone who understands, if she ever needs it.
“Where did Simmons go?” She could go for a hug with Simmons. They don’t touch each other nearly as much as two friends should.
“Hiding in plain sight, as usual.” Jemma is not smiling, and Daisy tenses a little, but she doesn’t seem angry either, and hands her the mug she usually uses when in the lab, the one that reads My Z is 83 . Daisy never understood the joke, but there is so many things she doesn’t understand when Fitzsimmons start to science-babble that she never bothered asking. “Here, look it up.” Jemma hands her a worn-out periodic table. “The atomic number, or Z, is the number at the top of the-”
“Yeah, Simmons, thank you, I went to high school.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s cool.”
And then she finds it:
“Oh my god, Simmons!”
She doesn’t repress the impulse of hugging her this time, and Jemma receives the hug a little awkwardly. From the heat of her cheeks, Daisy can tell that she is blushing and nervous, too.
“We didn’t mean to steal your thunder, though.”
“But it seemed like a good opportunity to let you know that we are here for you because we are your friends. But also, well, we are here because. ”
It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. And since it isn’t a big deal, she wasn’t supposed to cry, dammit.
“I love you guys.”
Jemma kisses her cheek and Fitz makes a mock-gesture of disgust at all the sentimentality.
“Now tell us about this awesome new girl of yours.”
She opens her mouth to start gushing, and then she realizes her mistake.
“God, I should have said ‘bi the way, I’m dating a girl’, shouldn’t I? What a wasted opportunity.”
Fitz shakes his head, his hands on his hips, his demeanour very serious.
“I’m so disappointed in you, Daisy Johnson.”
(The next time she drops by the lab, Jemma has bought three matching mugs, one blue, one purple and one pink. She lets Daisy choose between the purple and the pink ones, because she claims that the blue one belongs to Fitz.
“Because he is the boy?”
Simmons beams at her, clearly delighted by the question.
“No. Because he is the craziest about boys.”)
She decides to tell Mack as casually as she did with Fitz and Simmons, because why change a strategy that has worked so far? (Even if so far actually means one time).
They are working together on updating their inhumans database (a lot of valuable information got lost after the millionth fall of S.H.I.E.L.D.) and she is nervous mostly because of Mack’s religious background; he never showed any sign of intolerance towards Joey, for example, but still. That’s why she doesn’t look at him, her eyes fixed on the screen in front of her, and drops the information as quickly as she can.
“I’m dating a girl.” She rushes into the next sentence, because she doesn’t want to give him the possibility of asking the next question. “And no, I didn’t got scared away from men by bad experiences. The possibility of dating a girl was always on the table. I’m bisexual.”
Mack turns around, angling his entire body towards her.
“Okay.”
There is a lot of soft honesty on his eyes, and Daisy looks away, because she doesn’t want to cry, and his displays of entire acceptance of her always make her sentimental. She swallows, inhales, and keeps on talking.
“I wanted to share this with you, because you are my friend and I love you, and this is who I am, and I’m very proud of it.”
Mack smiles, that smile that can erase any doubt that anyone could have about the goodness of his heart.
“As you should be, Tremors. As you should be.”
She goes to training with this new t-shirt that Simmons got her, purple cloth with a pink print of the wi-fi signal and a tiny blue inscription that reads Can I stay in here? I’m getting great bi-fi. It’s not as inconspicuous as Jemma’s mug, but a good compromise between not hiding and going under the radar of people who doesn’t know any better and doesn’t look any closer.
(There is a good metaphor about how it is like to be bi in there, but Daisy doesn’t want to get angsty. Maybe she should ask Fitz, he probably has a good pun to express it without getting tearful.
Speaking of Fitz, Simmons is kind of going crazy with the bi-merch, as proven by the t-shirt, and just yesterday, Fitz cornered her in a hallway, looking dead-serious.
“You unleashed a monster, Daisy. A monster, I am telling you.”)
She goes to training wearing that t-shirt because she wants May to know, but she doesn’t want to have to tell May, because this is the way their relationship works; if things need to be said out loud between them is because they are not worthy of being said.
May doesn’t disappoint: Daisy doesn’t even need to get close enough for her to read the inscription that she gives a nod in the direction of the t-shirt.
“That you? Or just Simmons being naïve about the meaning?”
Daisy swallows slowly.
“When in life has Simmons ever been naïve about anything?”
May nods, her expression unreadable as usual.
“True.”
She stands in the mat facing May, trying to get her breathing and the beating of her heart under control.
“Cool?
“Of course.”
May throws the first punch.
To Daisy’s surprise, during their water break May speaks about it again.
“If you are going to tell Coulson, tell him with a little more grace. He will take it well, but you have to remember that he is a grandpa with a weak heart.”
“You are roughly the same age as him.”
May looks straight into her eyes and Daisy is not afraid of her, but can understand why people are.
“Call me a grandma and I will kick your ass. Twice.”
“Duly noted.”
May gives her back the water bottle and waits until Daisy is drinking to speak again.
“That t-shirt is not me, but let’s just say that I might have had a fling or two during my Academy days.”
Daisy chokes on her water.
“No way! I want to know everything. ”
“Beat me and I’ll tell you.”
“Deal.”