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Adil was feeling panicked. It wasn’t an unusual feeling to associate with his and Toby’s relationship, in fact it was one of the most common. But this was a completely different panic to what he was used to. Normally, it was to do with the fear of someone finding them out or how they were going to find a way to see each other with Lady Hamilton and Freddie breathing down their necks, but whenever it arose the two of them would sit and talk and be with each other for as long as it took for the anxiety to dissipate. They shared everything with each other, but not this time. For once, Adil had to deal with this on his own.
He had left it rather late, he knew he had. There was less than a week left. It’s not like he had forgotten about Toby’s birthday, that would be impossible considering he worked in the hotel of Lord Hamilton so it had been the topic of conversation for at least a month. It’s just he had no idea what to get him, and that was why he was panicking more than he had since he had first kissed Toby that night in the cellar. He had thought for hours and hours about what sort of gift Toby would like, but every time he thought he had come up with a perfect solution a nagging thought of doubt would appear, causing him to scratch the idea completely.
It didn’t help that Adil barely had enough money to pay his rent, never mind buy something spectacular for his boyfriend. Toby deserved the world and nothing less. Even if he wasn’t broke, what could he possibly buy Toby that he didn’t already have? He had grown up spoilt, getting anything and everything he wanted. Adil didn’t blame him, it was just what happened when you grew up in a family like the Hamiltons. All the things Adil could think of that he would ask for seemed boringly mundane – for example last year it was a new pair of shoes to replace his old ones which had been falling apart but he couldn’t afford to replace. But things like that Toby had in abundance. For Adil, it just highlighted the difference in class between them and he hated thinking about it.
Also, it was going to be Toby’s first birthday since his father died. Adil wasn’t sure what the Hamilton family traditions for celebrating their sons’ births were, but he assumed that it was going to be a lot different now that the former Lord Hamilton was no longer here. Will it be weird for them? Probably. This birthday was going to be completely different for everyone, that’s for sure.
Lady Hamilton had been planning a big party that was going to take place the weekend before Toby and Freddie’s actual birthday. Adil didn’t think Toby would appreciate it much, but it was kind of unavoidable considering he shared the day with the new Lord so a celebration like that was a given. The one time Adil mentioned to Toby how crazy the preparations for it were Toby only rolled his eyes and said “yeah, I know,” before quickly changing the subject. He had also told Adil that under no circumstances was he to waste any of his well-earned wages on a present for him. Obviously, Adil didn’t listen. That was all that they had discussed about it.
Adil wasn’t even sure if he was going to get to see Toby on his birthday. He would probably be far too busy with his family and friends to have time for him, but one could hope. He knew that Toby would much rather spend the night with him, he was just doubtful that it would happen considering how much his Mother was looking forward to spoiling the both of them.
He was beginning to give up hope of ever thinking of something when inspiration hit him on the day of the party. He was helping the maids prepare rooms for some guests as the rest of the staff were swamped with other duties when the idea came to him. It would be easy enough to sort out in the time available and cheap enough that he wouldn’t be hung out to dry. It was more sentimental than material, which is something Toby would appreciate, Adil thought. It wasn’t the best present in the world, but given the circumstances Adil thought he had done pretty well.
Adil had been kept so busy in the two days between the party and Toby’s birthday that he barely had a chance to see him. The clean up alone took the majority of Sunday. He only just managed to have time during his lunch break to rush out and get the gift sorted and was starting to get concerned that he wouldn’t be able to make a plan with Toby for seeing him on his birthday. He needn’t have worried, for the night before the big day a note was left for him in their secret hiding place.
All it contained was 3 words:
“Five. Love you.”
Adil smiled to himself as he read it, tucking it carefully into his pocket to be added to his collection when he returned home.
The next day was torture. All he wanted to do was kiss Toby and spend time with him on his birthday, but he had to wait until they were alone. As the day dragged on he counted down the minutes until he could see Toby. Around 3 o’clock Adil was surprised when both Freddie and Toby entered, conveniently choosing to sit right in his line of vision not too far away. Toby knew exactly what he was doing, he always liked to torture Adil like this.
The clock moved painfully slowly towards 5 o’clock as Adil worked, whilst keeping an eye on the two brothers sharing a celebratory drink. Adil was starting to think that Toby had forgotten what he had wrote him when, with 2 minutes to spare, he stood up and gave Freddie a quick hug. His back was to Adil so he couldn’t make out what he said as he bade Freddie goodbye and walked out of the bar, deliberately passing Adil and giving him a sly wink before disappearing out of sight.
It took all of Adil’s self-restraint not to jump over the bar and run after him like a love sick puppy. Instead, he calmly finished putting away some glasses before shouting to his supervisor that he was taking his break now.
When he arrived at Toby’s room he had opened his mouth to wish him ‘happy birthday’ as was customary to do, but he didn’t even have the opportunity to breathe the first syllable before he was set upon by an eager Toby and all that came out of his mouth was a startled gasp.
Toby kissed him hard, grabbing onto the side of Adil’s face and pushing them roughly against the wall.
“Happy birthday,” Adil exhaled after they pulled apart, slightly out of breath. He smiled up to Toby brightly.
“Happy birthday to me indeed,” Toby replied. He was smirking and had a look of desire on his face. Adil didn’t know why he was being more flirty than usual, but he liked it.
“I told Freddie I was getting ready for dinner. We have less than an hour,” he spoke, reaching out to Adil’s belt and pulling it off messily. Normally this was exactly how their stolen moments at the hotel went, but Adil had something more important to do today.
“Toby, slow down. I want to give you your present first.” Rolling his eyes, he grabbed Toby’s hands and reluctantly moved them away from his waist.
“I think having you naked in my bed would be a pretty great birthday present…” he teased, and Adil just laughed at his forwardness. It was such a change from the Toby he first spent the night with all those months ago. He definitely was not complaining.
“Yes, well, maybe if you’re lucky,” he replied.
“I’m already the luckiest man in the world, I have you.” Toby announced. If Adil didn’t know any better he would’ve assumed he was drunk, but Toby was just this cheesy all of the time.
Adil entwined their hands together and pulled them over to the bed.
“I thought I told you not to get me anything,” Toby scolded, but Adil could tell he didn’t really mean it. There was a hint of curiosity in his voice that he couldn’t hide.
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing exciting,” he warned, doubt suddenly flooding into him for the first time since he had thought of the idea. What if he hated it? What if he thought it was stupid? It WAS stupid. What had he been thinking? Maybe it would be better if he just took off his clothes and they could forget he ever said anything.
“Adil, whatever it is I’m sure I’ll love it. Because it’s from you,” he promised, ghosting his fingertips over Adil’s clasped hands soothingly.
“I’m never going to be able to give you what you want or need…”
“Adil, are you crazy? What I want can’t be bought, not with all the money in the world. I want you. And I need love and companionship, none of which I get from being a Hamilton.”
“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough for you.”
“Well, whenever you feel like that you have to tell me and I’ll remind you of all the reasons why you are perfect and I love you.” Adil grinned, knowing that Toby meant every word.
“I love you too. So much.”
“Okay, here you go,” he let go of Toby to reach into his pocket and pulled out a single, small object. He grasped it in his fisted hands before passing it onto Toby. He looked at it in confusion for a second before realisation hit him and it changed to amazement.
“Adil…” He seemed rather lost for words so Adil jumped in.
“It’s a key. For my flat, obviously.” He started, rambling a bit.
“I thought it would be nice you know, if you had your own copy. So you won’t have to wait for me to let you in every time you come round. Or if you ever need to escape from the hotel for a bit, even when I’m working…”
“Adil, its perfect. It’s the most thoughtful birthday present I’ve ever received.” Toby cut him off, overcoming his initial shock.
“Really?” Adil asked surprised, feeling pride swell up within him.
“Really, Adil. My family have never really known what to get me, because they don’t know me. Not like you do.” Adil felt so incredibly blessed to be able to say that he knew Toby better than anyone else in the entire world.
“I’m glad you like it. I thought maybe it was being a bit forward…”
“No, definitely not. If we were a man and a woman we’d probably be married and living together by now. But this is the best we can do,” he answered, leaning in and giving Adil a reassuring chaste kiss on the lips.
“That’s probably true,” he laughed.
“It’ll give me an excuse to come visit more often. I can just sneak in whenever I want and you can wake up to my beautiful face unexpectedly,” Toby joked.
“Just, be careful with the neighbours alright? I don’t want them to start suspecting anything…” Adil warned.
“Whenever have I not been careful? Discretion is my middle name.” He said, before moving his lips to Adil’s neck and finding his sweet spot. Adil moaned.
“That sounds like a lie, but okay…”
“How long do we have left?” Adil asked with a sparkle in his eye.
“I’d say about 30 minutes…” Toby answered, already pulling off Adil’s bowtie and making work of the buttons on his uniform. Adil hurriedly shrugged off the shirt, before pushing the two of them back on to the bed with Toby underneath him.
“That’s plenty of time,” he teased, dipping down for a passionate, open mouthed kiss.
“This is the best birthday ever,” Toby groaned, making Adil feel happier than he had in a long time.
He hoped that it would be the first of many that they shared together.