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Evan was sitting at the base of a tall beautiful oak tree. He didn’t remember, when exactly he had found the oak and sat down, how many hours ago it must have been. He didn’t really care, which was different because when he was younger, he was always terrified of his mother coming home and finding that he wasn’t home and potentially thinking he was kidnapped. It wasn’t like she would think that Evan was at a friends house.
Evan didn’t have friends.
But right now, that didn’t matter, he had the forest and with that the best friend that he could have wished for in that moment.
The forest didn’t ask questions or make fun of him. The forest didn’t laugh at him, when he stumbled on his words, the forest wasn’t loud and obnoxious, it was quiet, the small songs of leaves in the wind and birds chirping was the only sounds that Evan heard.
But, the forest wasn’t able to calm him down or laugh at his jokes. The forest wasn’t able to tell him that everything is okay when he most desperately needed to hear it. The forest didn’t have a gentle touch or an infectious laugh. But most importantly, the forest didn’t have the ability, to engulf Evan in a hug when he felt as if he was falling apart and needed arms to hold him together. It's not like Evan had ever felt that. Evan had never, ever been hugged by anyone else but his mother.
He didn’t even know what other people hugs felt like, he didn’t know how to hug them back, without it maybe being strange.
But Evan tried his hardest not to think about how different he was because there was still a part of him, that was convinced that he wasn’t as different as he always thought. There was a part of him that knew, that he could be a good friend, but the part of him that was sure that he wasn’t any of these things, was stronger than the other could ever be.
So he mostly stayed in the background, keeping quiet and only being himself in the forest, the world of secrets.
He had his head leant against the trunk of the tree, his eyes closed and a shy smile on his face. The small lines of sunshine that came through the leaves, dancing around on his face with every bit of wind. He was happy, for a change, he was content with himself.
He was so out of the world that he didn’t hear the footsteps coming closer through the trees, and he only opened his eyes when a sudden voice spoke up.
“Evan?” Evan’s eyes jumped open quickly and fell on the tall boy standing between the trees, a sketchbook under his arms, his hair in a loose bun. Evan felt his chest tighten as he looked at the taller one. His breath started to quicken and his hands travelled to the hem of his shirt in an instant.
He hoped to everything he ever believed in, that the taller would just turn around and move on, but he was betrayed by the world.
Because he was looking down at his hands, he didn’t see him slowly walking over, and he only realised when a soft and warm hand was laid onto his shoulder.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry that I scared you. I’m Connor, from school,” Connor was wearing a soft and warm smile on his face, his eyes locking with Evan’s in a gentle way.
Evan’s heart turned a little heavy at Connor’s words. He didn’t remember the last time that someone told him that it was okay to be afraid.
“Do you mind if I sit down?” The taller boy asked and Evan shook his head and felt the hand move away from his shoulder before the warmth reappeared next to him. Connor had sat down close enough that their shoulders were touching. Evan looked at the other boy for a bit, looking him up and down, he was wearing the sweatshirt that Evan had never seen him without. Now that he was up close he saw how frayed the sleeves were.
He was expecting Connor to ask why he was here, or to make fun of him, to try to make small talk, but Connor didn’t do that. He just got out his sketchbook, opened the next page and started sketching a fallen over tree that was in front of them.
Evan swallowed lightly but realised that he was slowly relaxing, the presence of the other boy didn’t make him as anxious as it had in the beginning, so he slowly calmed down his breathing and looked up into the leaves again, before slowly closing his eyes.
About twenty minutes passed without either of them saying a word when Evan suddenly decided to speak up.
“Why - uh - Why are you here?” he mumbled and tried to look away from Connor as much as possible.
Connor was quiet for a little bit but had put his pencil down, looking up into the leaves.
“The forest doesn’t think I’m an asshole, or insane, or you know, the creep. It's nice to be able to just be myself for a bit,” Connor admitted, his voice laced with pain. “What about you?”
Evan’s gaze had shifted to look at Connor’s face. He was taking in Connor’s sharp but very beautiful features. He watched a small strand of Connor's hair fall out of his bun.
“The forest doesn’t judge me,” he spoke, surprised when he realised that his voice wasn’t trembling, or that he didn’t stammer.
Connor made a small noise of acknowledgement before Evan started speaking again.
“The forest notices me, people never notice me,” He said, a sad smile on his face, his eyes going back to the crowns of the trees.
“I notice you, Evan,” the taller said softly, and Evan huffed out a laugh.
“No, you don’t, you’re just saying that so I feel better,” Evan’s voice was laced with disappointment in himself, and pain. “I’m just the shy kid in the back of class that no one cares to look at,” Evan said softly, looking at his fidgeting hands.
Connor suddenly turned to face Evan, and the warm feeling of their touching shoulders was gone.
“Why would you think that?” He asked, his eyebrows close together, almost frowning at the shorter boy, who was avoiding his gaze.
“Because it's the truth,” He mumbled, slowly looking up at Connor, who just shook his head.
“Prove me wrong, I know you can’t. You probably don’t even know what classes we have together,” Evan said, almost whiny.
“We have Advanced English together and AP Environmental Science,” Connor spoke, his expression shifting into something neutral. Evan’s eyes turned wide, as he moved his head up to look at the other boy. He didn’t say anything, because as soon as he opened his mouth to say something Connor continued,
“You write great essays, Mrs V always talks about how much she loves your writing. You always look down at the table and start fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, when she does that, because it makes you really nervous,” Connor knew that it might make him sound like a real creep, when he admits that he realised all of that about Evan, but he had the weird urge to make the blonde boy feel better.
Evans' eyes went wide and he looked at Connor. “You notice that?” he asked confused and Connor nodded.
“Yeah, sorry if that's weird, I just - You seem just as alone as me, people don't notice me and when they do, it's never in a good way,” Connor mumbled, kicking a small stick that was lying in front of him.
“I know what they say about you, but I don't believe that you're bad, or scary. I've seen your drawings in art class. They are so peaceful and beautiful,” Evan said softly, his cheeks turning a soft red.
Connor blushed softly and smiled at the shorter boy next to him, only now realising Evans cast.
“Do you mind if I sign it?” he pointed at the cast, to not bring up any confusion.
Evan looked down at this arm and held it up to Connor, a bright grin painting itself over his face.
Connor answered that grin with a soft reassuring smile, as he got out a sharpie from his backpack, and carefully taking Evans arm into his hand. He signed Evans cast quickly, in a handwriting that could be best described as chicken scratch and big enough to fill up one whole half of Evans cast.
He quickly closed the sharpie again and grinning up at the blonde. “Now we can both pretend that we have friends,” he chuckled out and Evan just blushed and looked down at the name on his arm.
“Why pretend?” he whispered out, almost too quiet for Connor to hear.
“Would you want to be my friend, Evan Hansen?” Connor asked, his eyes turning wide as Evan nodded.
It took time for them to adjust to this new situation, Connor to having a friend and Evan to having someone that actually understands how he feels.
But they get by pretty well, going to Á la mode, to the movies or just staying home when one of them wasn't feeling well enough to go out in public. They mostly stayed at Evans house, because Connor couldn't and didn't want to stand his family longer than he had to.
But their favourite place was the forest, under the big oak that they became friends under, they went there at least once a month and today they were there again, but today everything was a little different. Evan had realised that quickly, Connor was acting differently than usual, shifting on his feet, fidgeting with his hands or tugging on is sweatshirts sleeves.
Evan knew that Connor was insecure about his arms, and that some days his anxiety just got to him more than usually, but it had never been this bad, that's why he suggested that they go to the McDonald's drive-thru, get lunch and immediately go to the forest after school.
Connor had agreed quickly, smiling softly with a hint of gratitude in his eyes.
So now they here, they ate in the car, to make sure they don't accidentally leave trash in the forest. They got out of the car and because with was a warm day, Connor took off his sweatshirt and laid it down beside him while grabbing his sketchbook and looking for something to draw. Evan had his notebook lying on the floor in front of him, planning out a story or writing one, Connor wasn't quite sure.
The question was burning on his tongue and after about an hour, he put his sketchbook down, finally mustering up enough courage.
“Hey Evan?” he said, looking into the sky. The shorter boy made a small noise of acknowledgement but didn't look up from his notebook.
“Can I ask you something that might be a little weird?” Evans' head rose up and he started at Connor, before answering.
“Yeah, everything okay?” Evan stood up and sat down next to Connor, he felt his hand started to shake and a cold sweat rising on his back. Connor just nodded at the question.
“Do you sometimes look at someone and you just want to smile and be with them forever?” Connor asked carefully and Evans smile dropped, it's not like Connor could be talking about him.There was no way.
“Yeah, sometimes,” Evan answered, looking at his shaking hands. Connor saw Evans shaking hands and took his hand into his. They did that a lot because Connor knew it helped Evan calm down, but now it just made Evan more anxious and almost angry. He pulled his hand out of Connor's and folded them in is lap. Connor folded his own in his lap hesitantly.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked carefully, not wanting to make Evan madder than he already was.
“Yeah, you did,” Evan said, a cold tone in his voice that Connor wasn't used to.
He swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
“What did I do?” he whispered, looking at his hands.
“I just don't feel comfortable talking about something like that with you, okay?” Evan said loudly, moving away from Connor.
Connor took a deep breath, to calm himself down, he couldn't get mad now.
“But I thought friends talked about this kind of stuff,” he said trying to stay soft, but there was a small harshness on his voice and Evan jumped up.
“We were never friends, Connor!” he yelled and Connor felt tears sting in the corners of his eyes. Before he could say anything to it, Evan continued with flailing hands, not looking at Connor.
“Friends don't take each other's hands when one of them is anxious. Friends don't come over at three in the morning because they couldn't sleep. FRIENDS DON'T SLEEP IN THE SAME BED CONNOR!” Evan yelled, his voice gaining a small quiver as if he was close to crying. Connor slowly sunk into his hoodie. Evan honestly scared him. He was terrified of the shorter one leaving him.
“Friends don't let the other fall asleep on their chest. Friends don't wipe each other's tears. Friends don't do these things, Connor! We were never friends, we were always sort of more than that,” his voice cracked at the last sentence and Connor stood up to stand in front of the other. He saw that Evan just like him had tears running down his cheeks and Connor put his hand on Evans' cheek and softly wiped away his tears.
“What if being more than friends is exactly what I want?” Connor smiled softly, before pulling the flabbergasted Evan into a gentle inexperienced kiss.
As soon as they separated, Evan looked down with a blush on his face, “I'd like that,” he smiled softly.
They connected their lips again and Connor asked Evan to be his boyfriend at the same place where he asked to be his friend. After a few years, they returned to this place and Evan asked Connor to be his husband, to which the answer, was, of course, a yes.