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Rich is a pretty open book of a person. If he comes to some realization or has something he wants to tell people, he'll tell them as soon as possible.
One of the few things that Rich is reluctant to admit is just how much he admires his best friend Jake Dillinger.
They're the same age, and although they are so close, Jake seems so untouchable, as if he's on a whole different level entirely.
It confuses Rich, leaves his head spinning like a merry-go-round, and the muscles on his face tug the corners of his lips upwards. The feeling isn't a bad one, exactly; it's more electrifying than anything. Shocking, amazing… wow.
It's been this way since the incident in freshman year. Rich jokes about it mostly now, but it still has him waking up in the middle of the night and shaking while staring at his scarred arm.
***
October, Freshman Year
The SQUIP was acting up, telling Rich to do ridiculous things and hurt everyone around him. It was driving him to the very brink of madness. The patches on his body zapped to life and he was moving like a puppet attached to strings, taking a bottle of alcohol and pouring it over the carpet and sheets of a bed in Jake's bedroom. The party music made a bittersweet background soundtrack to the horror that was about to happen.
Rich lit a match.
He threw it onto the wet carpeting, which sparked up and caused so, so many things to light on fire.
His body climbed on to the bed and had him face the door on his knees.
The flames climbed up and licked the skin on his arm and leg, catching his pants and shirt on fire, leaving him screaming out in pain, yet he still couldn't move.
The heat melted off the patches and Rich was back in control of his body, but there was nowhere to go, so he fell onto his side and dragged himself as far away from the flames as he could get, his head getting heavy and his eyes watering from heat and pain.
The bedroom door slammed open and he slowly turned his head to face the person in the doorway. He couldn't make out their face, and he couldn't care enough to try harder with the searing pain in his spasming body. The SQUIP whispered in his ear and he shuddered.
“It says I should die. Leave me here, they say I need to die,” he croaked out, accepting his fate. The person shouted something and ran over to his body, trying to avoid as much fire as they could. They picked him up, struggling a bit to keep him up, and Rich screamed again, the burns being dug into. More smoke filled his lungs and he felt himself become weaker and weaker. He was going to die here.
He was laid down on something soft and he breathed in fresh air. It wasn't enough to clear his head and his skin still sizzled; it was like lightning zipped under his skin as he twitched violently and felt the faint buzzing of being shocked. He didn't try to move anymore, looking through cloudy eyes to the dark night sky filled with smoke and a red-orange glare.
By some medical miracle, Rich survived the fire. He hadn't inhaled enough smoke to permanently damage him, but it did make breathing harder for him in general. The burns were the worst of it, an entire half of his body and part of his face scarred up.
He learned that Jake had saved him. He heard from his dad, who came to visit him a few times and eventually came to get him out of the hospital when everything was all clear. His mom came more often than his dad, and he was thankful for that.
On one of his last days in the hospital, Jake came walking into his room. Well, less walking, more hobbling with the two of his crutches.
Rich was facing the ceiling at that point, scrunching his nose in an attempt to itch it, being unable to because half his face was covered in bandages. He was obviously quite distracted, so he didn't hear when Jake walked in.
Jake cleared his throat and Rich’s head whipped to the side to look at him sitting next to the bed. Rich stared wide eyed and couldn't form any words, but it looked like he didn't need to when Jake smiled softly and began talking.
“I'm about to get really cheesy, and I know you hate that type of thing, so sorry.”
Rich didn't hate cheesiness. He loved it; he thought it was cute at most times. His SQUIP had told him it was uncool and beat that idea out of him.
“I'm… I'm just really glad you survived. My parents ended up rolling me down here, in a wheelchair and all, a few times, and my heart dropped whenever I saw that you still hadn't woken up. It was just creepy to hear the beeping of your heart monitor. I just… I can't imagine what it would've been like to lose my best friend.”
Rich didn't know how to respond. His eyes watered and his mouth opened and closed. He had one free arm from casting and he reached out towards Jake, who grabbed his hand and a few tears fell.
“I'm so so sorry, Jake,” he scrambled to say and his long gone lisp came out and his eyes widened more. “...fuck.”
Jake squeezed his hand and his own eyes gleamed with unshed tears. “We're fine, everyone's fine; you ended up being the most injured, and you're alive. We'll be okay with getting a house too. You can tell me what hurt you this much later, okay?”
Rich nodded as much as he could and his face scrunched up from a few sobs that pushed their way past his lips. Jake continued holding his hand and just let Rich talk and rant until Jake was forced to leave.
That's the day Rich decided to be a better best friend, doing everything in his power to be the best best friend.
***
August, Pre Sophomore Year
Rich was over at Jake's new house. It was pretty much identical, although they had done renovations to remove fireplaces from the house because the sight of them made the whole Dillinger family uneasy.
(They didn't tell Rich this either, but Jake's parents locked up whatever fire causing items/tools they could think of and placed a fire extinguisher in various locations within the house.)
He was wearing a jacket and sweating in the heat. The sleeves irritated his burns and it didn't do much to hide his face, but that was better than just wearing his tank top underneath.
He was sitting at the kitchen counter, swinging his legs when they didn't reach the floor while on the stool, and rambling. He's sure half of it is incomprehensible because of his lisp, but it doesn't pass his mind at the time. Jake's cooking something (Grilled cheese? Soup? Rich doesn't know but it smelled good.) on the oven and listening while Rich talks.
“Thanks for coming over, by the way. My parents have been just randomly going places a lot recently, and it's always weird being here alone,” Jake suddenly cuts in and Rich waves a hand, grinning.
“I'll stay as long as you want me to, dude.” He gets up and walks towards the counter, leaning against it and looking up at Jake while talking. “A week, a month, whatever. We both go to the same school anyway.”
Rich was exaggerating, thinking that Jake wouldn't want him staying that long, but he was proved wrong when Jake turned to look at him with expectant eyes. “Would you? Stay that long, I mean? I never know how long they'll be gone until they text me that day before saying that they're coming home tomorrow, so you'd be able to leave in time if you didn't want them to know you stayed that long.”
“...Seriously? You'd want me to stay that long?”
“Of course, it'd be like we were in college or something. Just two bros and an entire house to themselves. Video games, girls, parties, all that cool shit.” Jake must've seen the look on Rich’s face at “parties” and he backtracked. “Or we could even just chill for however long.”
“Oh. Okay. I could, um, text my parents now and ask?”
“Cool.”
Rich does just that and he gets a response quickly agreeing to his question. He puts down his phone just as Jake sets down two plates of grilled cheese (nice). He eyes up Rich’s jacket curiously and levels Rich with a confused look.
“It's ridiculously hot right now. What's with the jacket?”
“Oh! It's because the sun irritates my burns because they're still somewhat new.” Jake nods in understanding. “And my burns irritate my me.”
Jake gives him a look at the phrasing and Rich just grins. “Why?”
“I just… don't like seeing them, I guess. They're kinda gross.”
“How?”
“‘How?’ Bro, it's brown and red scabbed over skin covering a half of my body. It goes up my neck and reaches part of my cheek and the bottom of my lips too, so this is the worst of it.”
“I don't get how it's gross, though.” He takes a bite of his sandwich and talks with his mouth open. “This is gross. Your burns are a part of you now. That's not gross.”
Rich didn't say anything, just looked away and took his own bite. Apparently, though, Jake wasn't finished.
“They're like, your battle scars, man. They show a shitty time that you lived through and look at you now, living and stuff. Be proud of that.”
It took a few minutes before Rich started to pull off his jacket and Jake clapped.
“Woo! Strip!”
Rich barked out a laugh and pulled his unscarred arm out of its sleeve. “If the price is right, Jakey.”
Jake dramatically fanned himself and Rich took off the jacket completely and plopped it down on the counter. Jake grinned at him.
“Awesome.”
Rich grinned back and ducked his head a little.
That marked the beginning of Rich practically living with Jake, and loving every second of it.
***
January, Sophomore Year
Rich is bi. He is extremely bi and he is not afraid to flaunt that fact about him.
In fact, every one of his close friends knows he's bi about two hours after he figures that out about himself. Everyone was very accepting of him, and although he knew that they would be, it can't stop him from smiling.
He's with Jake when he figures it out. That much was to expected; they had only been growing closer ever since August.
They weren't doing much, in particular, sitting on opposite ends of the couch with their feet swung up, Rich’s legs on top of Jake's. A movie is on, Rich thinks it's a horror movie, but Jake is the one who's paying attention. Rich is messing around on his phone when his head darts up and he drops his phone on his chest. Jake looks over to him when the sudden movement in the corner of his eye catches his attention.
“Oh my God, bro, I'm bi,” he blurts and Jake's eyes widen a bit. He looks at a loss for words for a few seconds before he smiles slightly.
“Same here? I think. I'm not sure.”
“Cool.”
And that's it. That's the entire Rich coming out to Jake conversation. The comfortable silence comes back between them before Jake breaks the silence again.
“I broke up with Katrina a few days ago. Have you heard?”
Rich looks at him again. “No way, really?”
“Yup. She cheated on me.”
“Whaaat? Fuck her then.”
“She said that she thought I was into someone else and that's why she did it,” Jake says, his voice a bit quieter than before. His gaze is trained on the television and Rich’s eyebrows furrow with confusion.
“Who could you possibly be into?”
Jake looks at him with wide eyes. Rich can't place the emotion on his face… was it expecting? He didn't get it so he ignored it. “Beats me.”
Jake held eye contact for a few more seconds before looking back at the tv. The entire moment confused the hell out of Rich, so he decided to ignore it until something made sense.
It wasn't until later when the two of them decided to go for a walk when the sun is setting that something else starts to make sense to Rich.
Jake's laughing about something, it dissolving into him grinning and talking about something before laughing again. Rich sees a side view of him, looking up at his face. The sun shines on the front of his face, making his eyes shine and makes his entire face bright. He walks with a slight limp to his step, but he covers it over by clutching his fists and swinging his arms with each step.
It dawns on Rich then how important Jake is to him, how much Jake has done for him and been with him through. Hell, Rich had burned down the guy's house yet he accepting him back with open arms, acting like it was something that just happened often. Rich couldn't thank him enough.
Rich feels emotional all of a sudden. A tightening of his chest, a reddening of his face, a watering of his eyes. He looks down at his feet. He vaguely wonders if eating his shoe will distract him enough from these emotions, but then Jake is tapping his head, a habit he had grown after he was unable to tap one of Rich’s shoulders due to burns. Rich turns to look at him and Jake looks concerned.
“You alright, bro? Are the burns bothering you? Why are you wearing a tank top in the middle of January, by the way?”
“Okay, one, I'm good, two, they don't hurt as much anymore, and three, it's called fashion, look it up.”
Jake laughs and Rich’s heart thuds. “Seriously though, what's up?”
“Uh… nothing. Wondering if you really dumped Katrina or if she dumped you.”
Jake gasps in fake hurt. “Do you dare doubt me?”
“Yup.”
He laughs again and Rich’s heart clenches this time.
Oh God, he's absolutely hopeless, isn't He? A hopeless, helpless bi with an incredible best friend.
These feelings will be fun to repress.
***
November, Junior Year, 6:41 AM
Turns out that it's very hard to ignore your feelings when you practically live with the guy.
(Jake's parents are home less and less and Rich is there more and more. It bothers Jake, he can see that, but Rich doesn't want to open wounds, so he comforts him in a discreet way.)
They don't even go to the same school anymore, but Rich refused to break the tradition, and Jake was more than happy to see Rich at his door when he texted the group chat that his parents had left again.
“How about we both skip school today and go for a drive?” Jake suggests while they're eating cereal on Friday (Rich poured the milk before the cereal and absolutely died of laughter by the look Jake gave him.)
“Jake Dillinger, local teenage rebel. Skipping class to go on scenic drives in beautiful New Jersey,” Rich says, and Jake laughs out his words.
“Shut up, asshole! Are you gonna do it or not?”
“Hell yeah. Looks like Michael and Chloe are gonna have to suffer without me there.”
“And what a terrible way to suffer that would be.”
***
1:36 PM
“Jake.”
Jake tapped his fingers against the wheel and didn't say anything.
“Jake, sweetie.”
Jake looked over at Rich before looking back to the road. “...Yes?”
“Did you seriously not check the gas before you decided to take a drive to the middle of fucking nowhere?”
“...Looks like it, Richard.”
“And now we’re stuck, in the middle of nowhere on a goddamn school day?”
“That's a possibility.”
“Because I'm certainly not calling my parents to pick us up and your parents are not in your house.”
“You're, um, getting a whole lot right, buddy.”
“We are next to a fucking farm!”
“There's no need to shout.”
“Jake, I may be shorter than you, but I will whoop your ass from New Jersey to Narnia and back.”
“I am fully confident that you'd be able to do that.”
Rich gave Jake a flat look and Jake pulled out his phone.
“I'll find out the nearest gas station and call a tow truck.”
“Thanks, honey.”
***
4:25 PM
The good news was that both of those things were not too far away from them.
The bad news was that it would take a while for the tow truck to arrive: they were back up with something.
Which meant that Rich groaned dramatically as the sun started to lower and his phone died.
He flopped back into the truck bed and landed with his head in Jake's lap, who jolted up and stared down wide eyed at Rich.
“Your phone died?”
“Yup.”
“You're bored now, right?”
“Yup.”
“Cool. Same.”
Rich sighed and looked up at the orangish-blue sky. He counted clouds before Jake tapped his head and he looks up at him.
“Want to just talk and shit or something?”
“What, like have a heartfelt conversation?” Rich asked and Jake shrugged. Rich snickered. “That's gay, bro.”
“We are literally both bi.”
“...You have a point.” Rich sits up and moves to sit across from Jake, leaning against the edge of the truck. “What have you been up to lately? How's school without me?”
“It's been whatever. I joined the chess club.”
“Chess club?”
“Listen, okay, I had nothing else to join! I can't draw for the life of me and you know how the last time I joined drama went.”
“Yeah, Christine told people to ‘break a leg’ cause that's theater talk or something and you got edgy.”
“It's a sensitive subject!”
“I'm Jake Dillinger! I got so pissy by someone saying good luck that I forgot all my lines as the lead role,” Rich mocked and Jake shoved his leg with his foot. He cringed and Jake scrambled to pull his legs away.
“Did I hurt you? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.”
“Just a lil bit. Fuck, when will this pain go away? It's been forever since this happened!”
“You were burnt really bad,” Jake said and Rich stood up.
“I don't give a shit! Fuck this!”
Jake stayed sitting down as Rich cupped his hands around himself and squeezed his eyes shut, shouting and letting his bottled up anger out.
“Fuck the SQUIP! You heard me right, you little bitch! Fuck you! And your mom, if you have one!”
Rich sucked in a deep breath and screamed.
“Fuck my abusive ass father! Don't you get that I'll never be who you want me to be?! Fuck you, asshole! Go drink a beer, bitch!”
“That's okay, let it all out,” Jake said softly, scooting close and reaching up to rub Rich’s back as he shouted. He watched with wide concerned eyes, and Rich choked over his words.
“Fuck everything, man! Fuck it all, right up its ass! The only shit I have left to care about is my friends! They're the only people who I have left to live for.” Rich ran a hand through his hair and sucked in a gulp of air before continuing. “Stupid ass SQUIP, you made me nearly kill my best friend! I could've died, I should've died, dammit!”
Rich collapsed onto his knees and Jake pulled him into his lap and held him tight as his face went blank while tears streamed down his face.
For the first time that day, even though the jacket Rich reluctantly wore, he was cold.
***
5:01 PM
"Sorry for freaking out."
"It's okay, dude. I get it."
“...Am I annoying?”
“Hell no.”
“Is my lisp annoying?”
“No way, dude. I'm a bit confused where it came from, but it doesn't bother me.”
“My SQUIP shocked me each time it came out.”
“...Damn.”
“Hurt like a motherfucker.”
“I'd think so.”
“...”
“...Do you think I'm a slut?”
“Jake, what?! No way in the world.”
“Katrina tried to hook up with me again. Called me a slut when I said no.”
“You're not a slut. No way, shape, or form.”
“...Thanks.”
“No problem, man. I'm there for you, Jake.”
“I'm there for you too, Rich.”
“Sweet.”
***
6:52 PM
“Are they towing the entire fucking state of New Jersey?!” Rich exclaimed, his head in Jake's lap again. He looked up at Jake and laughed. “You have like, four chins from this angle. McLovin’ it, what a hottie.”
“Shut up,” Jake insulted half heartedly, carding his fingers through Rich’s hair. “I got a text. They should be here in two-ish hours.”
“Ugh! How is your phone not dead?”
“I have to make sure it doesn't die so that I can answer when they call.”
Rich hummed and leaned his head into Jake's hand and closed his eyes. He opened them slightly when Jake when tense and stopped moving his hand. Jake's face was an interesting shade of red.
“You look like the Wendy's logo.”
“Gee, thanks,” Jake said, laughing hard enough to shake Rich as well. A smile pulled on his lips.
“It wasn't that funny, dude.”
“I just… oh God, I'm so glad to be your best friend.” Jake wiped his eyes and glanced down at Rich and Rich swore his eyes had stars in them. “I don't know where I'd be without you dude.”
“Chess club.” Rich tapped his chin. “...oh wait…”
“Shut your mouth, Goranski,” Jake wheezed out and Rich’s chest warmed.
This tall dork is laughing still over Rich memeing. He must've snorted like four times and Rich is still getting the most attractive angle view of him. Rich feels that ache in his chest again, and he feels like a pitiful teenager that fell into a bad case of puppy love.
(He still thinks that eating his shoe will help.)
Jake runs his hand through Rich’s hair again and he throws an arm across his eyes and blinks fast and many times in an attempt to get the tears starting to well up to go away.
“Hey, Jake?” Rich asks when both he and Jake have calmed down, both for different reasons. Jake hums to show he heard him.
“Do you think anyone likes me? Like, date me like me?” God, Rich sounds like a thirteen-year-old girl.
Jake's hesitant in his response. “I… have it on good authority that someone likes you.”
“Dorky phrasing, dork.” Fuck, that came out really fond. “Who?”
“...They told me not to tell you.”
Rich flings his arm to the side and looks up to Jake with pleading eyes who is looking off to the side.
“Aw, come on, that's some bullshit. You gotta tell me now!”
“Sorry. No can do.”
“Well… can you tell me the gender of the person?”
Jake doesn't respond for a bit and Rich thinks he might be pushing it. What if Jake was just lying so that he didn't make Rich feel bad?
“A boy. He's a boy.”
Rich’s eyes widen even more and he stares up at Jake intently. His words come out quiet.
“What color is his hair?”
“...Brown.”
“And his eyes?
“Those are blue.”
“Is he taller than me?”
“Everyone's taller than you.” Rich scrunched up his nose and swatted at Jake who laughed and became less tense, although his face flooded with color. “But yeah. He is.”
“...What’s a weird fact about him?”
Jake opens his mouth and closes it before smiling goofily at Rich. “How am I supposed to know this much about him?”
“I don't know, man, it seems like you know him well.”
“I'm… I'm not supposed to tell you too much about who he is.”
“Alright, alright, I get it,” Rich surrendered and hummed, closing his eyes again.
“...Do you know anyone who has a crush on me?”
“Mhm,” Rich hummed, wishing he could hide his face.
“What gender are they?”
“He's a boy too.”
“Hair color?”
“His hair is brown. His eyes are brown too.”
“...Weird fact?”
“Uh, uh, uh, not so fast there buddy. If you can't tell me that much about whoever has a crush on me, then the same thing goes both ways.”
“He named a soccer ball after his cat when he was younger and cried when someone kicked it.”
Rich looks up at Jake again with wide eyes. Jake's looking away, and if Jake had spoken just a little bit faster, than Rich wouldn't have understood anything he had said.
“He who?”
“Your crush. That's your weird fact about him.”
Rich is completely certain now, but he holds up on his end of the deal. “Well, your crush snorted milk in Sophomore year when this kid fell in a trash can because he shouted ‘Do it for the Vine’!”
Jake's head whips around to look at Rich with wide eyes and as Rich sits up, Jake's eyes follow him.
“I bet that's weirder, Jake.”
“Uh, no, your crush played the kazoo. And was good at it.”
Rich grins and so does Jake. Both of their faces are red by now.
“Well, your crush thought that hanging off the monkey bars would make him taller.”
“Well, your crush almost shaved and dyed half his hair in sixth grade because it was in style then.”
“Your crush convinced him not to by threatening not to be his friend if he did that.”
“Yet you still went and dyed a strip in your hair red.”
“I looked hot and you know it!” Jake laughs and so does Rich. They're leaning closer to each other now, and Rich’s eyes dart from Jake's eyes to his lip. “Your crush has another secret.”
“What is it?” Jake quietly asks.
“He'd really like to kiss you right now.”
“Huh. Your crush has the same secret,” Jake says before darting forward and kissing Rich. Rich winds his arms around Jake's neck and Jake holds him around the waist. He turns his head in an attempt to deepen the kiss when they're broken apart by the shrill ringing of a phone.
Jake picks up his phone and answers it. As he talks, Rich climbs into his lap fully. Jake eventually hangs up and smiles at Rich.
“Looks like they'll be here in about five minutes.”
“Dammit. Right as we were getting to the good stuff.”
Jake laughed again before leaning in and pressing another kiss to Rich’s lips and grinning wide. Rich grinned just as wide, even wider, and he honestly wouldn't be surprised if he looked down and saw his chest glowing at this point.
It certainly felt like it was.
***
10:57 PM
“Well, today was a complete flop,” Jake says from his position in front of the oven. Rich gasps from the counter.
“Um, I think the fuck not, Dillinger,” he said, mock anger his voice. Jake turned to him with an amused look.
“Oh?”
“Well, I mean I got with my crush for like one year. That was pretty awesome.” Rich got up and walked over to Jake, grinning wildly. “Plus, I've got the house alone with him for a while.”
“What are you suggesting, Rich?”
“Jake?”
“Yeah?”
“Lemme smash.”
“What the fuck,” Jake laughs out, setting down the spoon and covering his mouth as he laughs.
“Is that a yes?”
“Yeah, sure, Richard.”
“Sweet.”
Jake smiles before leaning over and kissing him short and sweet and pulls away with the smile still on his lips. Rich smiles as well and takes his place back at the counter. He places his chin in the palm of his hand as the smile turns into a full on grin.
“You know, I admire you a lot,” he blurts and Jake turns and gives him a confused look.
“Why?”
“You're perfect almost effortlessly.”
“False. It takes a lot of effort.”
“Fine. You're perfect effortlessly in my eyes.”
“That's sweet.” Jake pauses. “And cheesy as hell.”
“It only keeps getting cheddar.”
“Oh my God, why do I like you?”
“Like I said, you're perfect in my eyes. That's why.”
Jake dramatically rolls his eyes at Rich and Rich laughs.
Rich could get used to admitting more things if this is what it came to.
Yeah. He could totally become a completely open book if he got a hot and awesome boy in exchange, or like, a lot of money.
That'd be pretty cool.
(Not that he was with Jake for money. It was just a suggestion for the universe to maybe take a look at when it decided to be nice.)