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The train rattled to a stop, jostling Yuuki from his sleep with a snort. Self consciously, he glanced around, worried anyone had heard him. Or seen him, his brain adds with a panic as he rubs the drool off his arm. Luckily, the train was mostly empty save for an elderly couple who also appeared to be asleep.
The overhead speaker announced the stop, static crackling across the heat in the air. An unfamiliar name, one Yuuki would never have known if not for the reason of this trip. If not for him.
The noise seemed to rouse the older couple as well, and they stood and made their way towards the door. Watching them hobble along, he realized that he needed to move too. In a rush, he grabbed his bag from the overhead storage and got behind the couple.
That was when he realized how foolish his haste had been. By the time he had grabbed his stuff with nervous, shaking hands and stood behind them with nervous, shaking legs, they were still stepping onto the first step. Yuuki bounced on the balls of his feet impatiently, urging them to hurry up silently.
It was his first time outside of Tokyo, but that wasn’t really why he was as excited as he was.
It had been three months. Well, two months and twenty-two days, if he was going to be exact. Not that he was counting. When he received the text message asking him to visit, he’d dropped his phone in shock, before picking it up and frantically texting a million excuses why he couldn’t.
Of course someone like Akira Kurusu was going to see right through those. He’d cut off his stream of increasingly alarming and imaginative reasons why Yuuki couldn’t ride a train for that long, called him out on it, and set the date.
Date.
The word still made him blush.
“The door’s going to close if you don’t move soon,” a kind voice spoke up at him.
“O-oh! Right! Thank you!” Now the slow old couple were the ones pushing him along. Whatever intrusive little thought hoped to nip at his mind next was dispelled by a soft smile on the old lady’s face. “Thank you.”
Oh, he’d already said that. Still, she smiled back wider, asking, “This is your first time out here, right?” Was it obvious? A headphone popped out of his ear joining the other one that already hung loose around his neck - it was obvious. “You should spend less time in your head. Take a look around you.”
Yuuki blinked. Cryptic advice from old people; the rumours about the countryside were true. The couple, one last smile from the both of them, began to slowly turn away.
He looked up.
It hit him at once. Rolling fields and blue skies that weren’t blocked by the buildings or bright lights of Tokyo. He realized how fresh the air was, crisp and light and green.
“Kurusu lives out here, huh?” It seemed like a weird fit. The daunting and charming presence of the former Phantom Thief did not suit this atmosphere. Yet, the more he thought of the Akira he saw in the privacy of that stuffy, dusty attic, the more it felt right. The sensitive Akira who would softly wrap both arms around him, breathing against the back of his neck. Kissing-
Beet red, Yuuki fumbled with his phone to take a picture. He was standing in public, and whether there was no one else here or not, this was really no time to be thinking about Akira’s gentle lips-
“Hey.”
“AHH!”
His phone hit the concrete as he spun around. He was going to need a new case at this rate.
“Hmm… sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“That shit-eating grin on your face says otherwise,” Yuuki retorted, at which the ‘shit-eating grin’ only spread further. He could just-
The grin softened into a genuine smile, causing Yuuki’s ire to disappear with it. There he was, both hands shoved casually in his pants pocket, slouching slightly, a bag hanging loosely from one shoulder (Chances there was a cat inside were high), glittering eyes obscured by the reflection of sunlight on his glasses: Akira Kurusu. His boyfriend.
That thought still made him blush too.
“Sorry I’m late,” he apologized, rubbing one hand along the back of his neck. His short, fuzzy black hair bobbed along with the action. It was such a familiar sight, but in this atmosphere it felt different. It was lighter, softer. It was rid of all the burden that had crushed Akira’s shoulders when they first met. “Morgana was being difficult.”
Yuuki nodded. “It’s… fine.”
Three months. They hadn’t seen each other in three months.
Yuuki moved forward first, propelled by a need that itched to be filled. Before the gap between them finished closing, Akira’s arms were around him, pulling him close. He buried his head into Akira’s chest. He smelt like the crisp, warm air and fabric softener.
“You smell nice,” Yuuki mumbled more to himself as he returned the hug. He nuzzled in closer, and Akira ran a hand up his neck and into his hair, twirling a finger around the small spikes.
Sure that they could spend the entire allotted three days snuggled at the train stop with the warmth of the sun beating down, Yuuki closed his eyes. He sighed, letting his body sink closer. Akira’s “You should get your phone.” caused him to whine as he pulled away.
“You could get my phone for me.”
“Not when you’re holding me hostage.”
Yuuki laughed. “Don’t think I’m setting you free just yet!” He grabbed his phone off the ground, inspecting the screen for any cracks. It had survived yet another panicked hit to the ground. “You’re stuck with me for three days, you know!”
He spun back around and pointed at Akira. “Oh, Phantom Thief of Hearts.”
“Come on!” Akira let out a fake groan before joining Yuuki in a laugh. His hand pressed against the shorter boy’s shoulder, pulling him sideways towards him, just enough that their heads touched. It was an action he favoured, but Yuuki still found himself flustered each time. “Let me show you where you’re staying.”
“Meow!” So the cat was in the bag. Akira chuckled at the joke Yuuki couldn’t understand. Some things never changed. That familiarity felt good. He leaned further, letting his head rest on Akira’s shoulder, arm curling around his back with the trepidation he always felt when they were out in the open.
Three days. Yuuki knew, it wasn’t going to be long enough.
**
It was strange. In part because of how different it was and in part because the thought had never really crossed Yuuki’s mind. He was so used to the attic that seeing a regular room complete with the decorations and furnishings of a regular teenaged boy shocked him. He had caught glimpses of it in photos over texts, but that had never really registered as ‘a place Akira lives and sleeps in’ like it did now.
There was a desk with a computer, though judging by the stacks of books and paper taller than the monitor, it didn’t see much use. With good reason, Yuuki thought to himself. This thing is older than we are.
Posters hung on the walls, some Yuuki recognized and some he didn’t. A rug sat in the middle of the room. The bed was haphazardly made, the lumpy comforter giving away that the sheets underneath were still a wreck. Akira had a closet, as opposed to a box on a rickety shelf. He had a wooden bookshelf with manga and novels, as opposed to the ancient shelf with books that weren’t his own.
There were familiar things here as well. The TV, the DVD player, and the janky old game system Akira had bought when in Tokyo were set up in one corner. At the foot of his bed was that tall plant. Yuuki was pretty sure that that had belonged to Sakura, but seeing it here, green and basking in the sunlight and fresh air that came in the open window, felt right.
Akira plopped himself on the chair by the computer desk. “It’s less space than the attic, but hopefully that’s okay.” Of course it was okay! They were together. “We’ll have to share the bed.”
“Oh! That’s… that’s fine.” Was it fine? He didn’t know; there was a heat gathering along his face and ears and he pulled his phone out to preoccupy himself.
“That was a joke. We have a spare futon I can drag in here.” Yuuki glared at him. “Sorry! It’s just cute when you blush.”
“Maybe…” His voice trailed off. No way he could say he actually wouldn’t mind sharing the bed all night. Not a chance. Mindlessly, he sat down at the edge of the bed as Akira assured him that it wasn’t a ‘maybe’, he really was cute when he blushed. As his hand brushed over the bed sheet (it was so soft), he yelped and moved to sit on the floor in front of the bed.
Akira tilted his head to one side, but said nothing.
He continued to fumble with his phone. Out of habit, he loaded up the Phansite. It was mostly deserted now, some people still using it to chat with friends they’d made. “Your parents know I’m your…” he paused, lowering his voice. “Boyfriend?”
“It’s fine. I’ve told them. I handled all of that before you got here.”
Relief and jealousy ran through him. “I haven’t told mine yet...”
“I know. We’ll get there.” We’ll. Yuuki nodded. Akira hadn’t needed him to tell his parents. Still, knowing he’d be there for him made him happy. Jealousy aside.
“So, what did you want to do? The festival isn’t until tomorrow evening.”
What did he want to do? His fingers paused on the screen of his phone.
He wanted to see and be seen by Akira. That was done.
He wanted to hold and be held by Akira. That was done.
He wanted to kiss and be kissed by Akira. He dropped his phone with a squeak.
“Something wrong?”
“K-k-k-k-ki- No! I’m fine!” He could ask for that, couldn’t he? They had kissed before. Not much, but they had. He remembered all four times vividly, as they were memories he cherished more than most. Absently, his finger touched his mouth feeling over chapped skin. Akira’s lips were soft, stark contrast to his own.
The first time had been in the alley by the diner after Akira confessed to him. The noise of the city behind them was at once gone, Akira’s head moving so close, asking soft as a breath if he could, hardly waiting for Yuuki to finish saying yes before lightly brushing their lips together.
Next was in the attic. He had never invited Yuuki there before then. They sat on the bed, snuggled together. Akira shifted, pressing lips to his forehead, then his nose, then paused, waiting. Yuuki nodded. It was awkward and unpracticed, but special all the same.
Again in the attic. He was alive; he was safe. The news had been wrong. Of course it had been wrong. There was no way. Yuuki had been so happy, he couldn’t stop himself. Clinging to Akira like he could disappear at any moment, he kissed him awkwardly and hard. He was ready to apologize, when Akira kissed him back. Tender and needing. Hurting.
The fourth time was when they said goodbye.
“Hey.” He squeaked again at the feeling of a hand against his forehead. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re heating up.”
Yuuki shouted, “I’m just thinking about kissing you!” Instant regret. His eyes opened to meet the clear, grey gaze of Akira only inches away from his own.
“I know,” he said with a confident smirk.
“Oh.” That was all he could say as everything started to become aware to him. Akira’s knees nestled on the floor next to his own. His one hand pressed against the bed behind him for balance, the other rested against Yuuki’s head. Fingers, calloused from months of building small keys and tools on the attic workbench, stroked the delicate skin hidden under his bangs.
His hand slid down to Yuuki’s chin as his head dropped lower, foreheads touching. As always, Akira waited, eyes watching Yuuki’s carefully for any sign of fight or flight. He knew he never meant it to tease him, but right now, it felt like it. It was obvious, wasn’t it? Still, he nodded slowly.
Gently, he raised Yuuki’s head to meet his, lips locking together. Sweaty and shaking hands found their way up Akira’s back to his neck, pulling him closer. Akira let out a noise at first, perhaps a bit shocked, but carried through with Yuuki’s greedy request, kissing him harder and longer.
Yuuki broke away first. His head fell backwards against the bed, eyes on the ceiling above him. “Wow.”
“You’re even redder than before,” Akira teased. He shuffled around to sit beside the other. “There’s a good doctor in town.”
“What would we tell them? Poor Yuuki Mishima died of heat stroke because his boyfriend is such a good kisser.” Whoops, he meant to say that in his head. Akira laughed, and he allowed himself to relax.
As Akira’s laughter died down, silence started to fill the room. Not a bad silence, not the sort of silence that always crept up on Yuuki alone in his own bedroom in Tokyo. Not that nagging, horrible silence that threatened to crack his skull open and lay all his most bottled thoughts on display for him to mull over.
No, this was peaceful. Akira’s steady breathing, the soft sound of the breeze through the window, fluttering against half closed curtains. His own heartbeat crashing in his ears louder and louder with each second he realized what had happened.
“I missed you,” he whispered, afraid of breaking the peace. An arm fell over his shoulders, fingers gripping him tight. He leans back further, his neck pressed against Akira’s arm. He missed this.
“I missed you too.”
Three days. Then what? How long would it be after that. Another three months? Four? A year?
No. Not now.
“I’ll show you around town. There’s a place I think you’ll like; they have amazing cakes.”
“I’d like that.” Another whisper against the calming silence.
**
The rest of the day passed quickly into night, where Yuuki found himself restlessly sleeping on the futon. Akira had offered him the bed, but he turned it down. It was Akira’s bed after all, and besides, he still owed him for making him sleep on the couch in Hawaii.
It wouldn’t be the same unless we were together.
Oh, but he couldn’t say that. Those words were choked back almost as quickly as the cake had been earlier.
At some point, he slept. He woke. He ate breakfast with Akira’s parents, who were quiet in the same way Akira was.
The day was spent touring the city. Every little thing Akira showed him was a marvel and made him realize just how much of a city boy he actually was. They dreamy little shops that reminded him of the Le Blanc attic were his favourite though. They were dusty and crowded and old, but charming. Seeing Akira walk across the wooden floors as they groaned with his weight felt right. They bought ramune from a fridge that hummed far too loudly, along with some other snacks for later, and sat on a bench by a tree. It was hot; the cool drinks welcome.
“It’s getting busier here,” Akira commented dryly, pulling the bottle away from his mouth, the bead inside clicking satisfyingly. Yuuki couldn’t see it; it was still slower than Tokyo ever was. Sure, there were people on the streets. Maybe ten.
“How did you handle it? Being somewhere so different, I mean.” His thumbs rubbed along the glass bottle, feeling the shape. “I bet I’d die.”
Akira looked at him with a frown. “Ah, I mean!” Right, he didn’t like that expression.
“I wasn’t handling it well at all. Not until I had friends there.”
“Hmm…” He dug up sore memories. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. You’re one of those friends, you know. You don’t have to apologize.”
Hearing that still felt good. Friends. Akira had been his first and he could never thank him enough for it. He stared at the bottle, feeling a smile on his face, thumbs tapping against the glass almost anxiously.
“I’m glad you could come back here.” He was also sad for it, but Akira seemed so different here. So much happier. He was truthfully happy for him, in the bitterest of ways.
“I guess. I have mixed feelings.” He was looking at Yuuki, eyes completely hidden by the glaring sun.
He means that because of me? No, no. Don’t get ahead of yourself.
Before he had a chance to concentrate on that comment further, Akira stood, stretching. “We should be getting ready soon. We’ll want to get there early if we can even hope to get a good spot.”
“Right.”
Akira had mentioned that on text message before Yuuki got here. The closer it got to the fireworks, the more people would start flooding in by train. The sleepy city Akira called home would fill with people.
Home.
Still clutching the bottle, Yuuki scanned his eyes over the area. Could he call this home? It was relaxing, but he also was quite sure he would miss the city. If Akira was here…
A hand slowly pried one set of his fingers from the glass, knitting each between its own. Yuuki looked up to see Akira looking down at him. He squeezed the small hand. “You’re thinking about something, aren’t you?”
“I-”
“We’re going to have fun tonight, okay?” He cursed his brain for taking that the wrong way. “Don’t worry about things right now.”
“Okay.” He nodded, but knew he wasn’t very good at that. His arm, not held victim by Akira dropped to his side as they made their way back to the house.
**
“You even look good in a yukata,” Yuuki found himself saying, his defective brain to mouth filter betraying him yet again. Akira, struck a pose to lighten the mood, which only embarrassed him more.
He said, “So do you.” and Yuuki was sure, in that moment, his head exploded. He did his best to keep it together, earning yet another smarmy grin from his boyfriend.
They were headed down the path between the stone walls that boxed in houses on either side. True to Akira’s words, more and more people had found their way to the small city. The street was packed with people, many in yukata as well, making their way towards the rows upon rows of colourful lights that marked the food stands and festival games. The lanterns and sparklers were a marvel against the dark country sky.
Yuuki gripped Akira’s hand tighter, allowing himself to smile. He didn’t even notice Akira smiling back at him, a fleeting look before he turned his own attention towards the festivities.
“We should claim a spot before we miss out,” Akira said. With that the two were on their way towards the field.
There were others already there setting up, laying down tarps, spreading out picnic baskets, and sharing snacks with enthusiastic children. It brought back memories Yuuki had long forgotten, having spent his last decade of summer festivals cooped up in his room watching fireworks through a live stream.
He leaned into Akira and felt a warm hand against the side of his face. “You’re worrying about something again,” Akira said softly.
“Not really. Just remembering stuff. It’s not important.” He looked over the field and pointed at an area further out. “That spot looks good, right?”
Akira followed his finger. “Yeah, you’re right. Come on, before anyone steals it.”
“If they knew who you were, they’d think twice about stealing from you.” He was rewarded with a grin, before Akira pulled him forward at a hurried pace. “W-wait up!”
It felt good, running along the country fields, hands locked together, bags of treats and a tarp clutched in the other. As the sun set, the air cooled, the screaming sound of cicadas drifted off into a faint hum of slumber, replaced by the droning chatter of people.
They reached their destination and Akira pulled the tarp out, spreading it across the grass. He sat down, motioning Yuuki to follow before rummaging through the bags for drinks and something to eat. Slowly, Yuuki lowered himself to sit beside him, taking the bottle he was offered.
As people began to fill in the spots around him, he pulled out his phone. Akira questioned from beside him, “You’re going to put that away when the fireworks start, aren’t you?”
He smiled back. “No! How else am I going to take pictures?” Akira ruffled his hair, a half effort laugh escaping him.
“That’s not what I meant.”
Morgana climbed out of his bag and took up a position in front of them a howled meow following.
“Ah, don’t be like there. Here.” Akira reached into the bag and pulled out more treats as a peace offering. The cat seemed to accept it, curling into a ball in front of them with a soft purr.
It grew darker, hushed whispers making their way through the crowd that it should be starting soon. Yuuki shuffled closer to Akira, as close as he could allow himself with so many people around. He took that as an invitation to lazily drop an arm over Yuuki’s shoulder.
The Phansite was still just as dead as it was the day before.
“Hey, it’s going to start.” He could feel Akira’s words against the top of his head, the breath tickling between his hairs. Had they gotten this close? Nervously, he looked at the people around him, but they were preoccupied with themselves. He sighed, allowing himself to sink further against Akira’s body. He was warm.
The first whistle through the air snapped his eyes away from Akira’s jawline and towards the horizon. The crystal clear night filled with colour and shapes and sounds each more dazzling than the last.
The crackle and bang caused the skin on Yuuki’s arm to stand on edge. The fizzing explosions made his heart leap. Each burst of rainbow spreading over the stars held him further and further in rapture. At the start he was taking pictures, but eventually he gave up, too caught in the moment to remember.
It had been so long since he saw them in person, he forgot how amazing they were.
“Hey. Mishima.”
One exploded in the shape of a cat. “That’s Morgana!” he exclaimed, pointing or at least attempting to. His hand pulled another with it, and it was only then he noticed that Akira had knit their fingers together at some point.
He looked upwards. “Uh…”
Akira was looking at him. “You want to know a secret,” he asked, face set perfectly blank. “It’s a good one.”
Slowly, Yuuki nodded. There was another burst in the sky, but he didn’t look away. The bright purples and greens glittered off of Akira’s glasses in a way that rivaled the fireworks themselves.
“When you’re smiling and having fun, you’re beautiful. Yuuki.”
That was entirely too much at once. Too many things he needed to correct, but he wasn’t given the chance. Before he could say, ‘that’s a lie’ or quibble that it wasn’t fair to use his first name that way, Akira’s lips were pressed against his.
His eyes closed and he relaxed himself into Akira’s kiss. The explosions and cheers around them slowly faded away as Yuuki eagerly kissed him back. Akira’s tongue shocked him at first, almost causing him to pull away, but instead he urged himself on.
It was three days, and then what? His mind buzzed with the thought. How long before he could have him like this again? He felt himself whimper out a sigh at the feeling of Akira’s hands in his hair. Felt his own body respond with moving lips.
He didn’t want to leave.
He didn’t want to go back.
He wanted to stay here.
“Mommy look! That one looked like Mario!”
Yuuki pushed away. He had completely forgot where they were. He didn’t turn his head towards the voice of the child on the tarp near them, but instead just stared at Akira. “You’re wrong,” his brain finally had time to say.
Akira laughed. “I’m not, but whatever. Here, you look like you’ll pass out at any moment.” He handed him another drink.
“Haha. Time to call that doctor for my heat stroke from hot boyfriend again.”
“Hot, huh?”
He swallowed hard. “Y-Yeah.” He paused. “Kurusu?”
No answer. “A-Akira?”
Lazily, “Yeah?”
That felt good. “Akira, I don’t want to-”
A finger rest against his lips. “Shh. Come on, watch the fireworks.” There was a reassurance in Akira’s eyes and smile that allowed Yuuki to relax. Shyly, and now acutely aware of their surroundings, he snuggled closer to Akira, head nuzzled against his collarbone. He’d tell him later. Everything that was bugging him, he’d tell him later.
But honestly… beautiful?
He could feel his face heat up. He watched the rest of the fireworks reflected in Akira’s glasses, reveling in the small, slow strokes Akira ran down his arm.
He was supposed to leave tomorrow afternoon.
**
“Ku… Akira?”
“Hmm.”
They had stayed until the end of the fireworks, buying bananas coated in chocolate and sprinkles on the way back to Akira’s house, much to Yuuki’s delight. Now, he found himself on the futon again watching the starlight flicker across the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep.
“I want to sleep on the bed.” He rushed the words out as quickly as he could.
He heard Akira shift. “Sure thing.” He heard the soft sound of his feet touching the floor as he got up.
“No.” He swallowed. “On the bed with you.”
At night, that silence felt different. It felt more like what he was used to. His brain ran through every possible scenario that could come from him saying that. Akira saying no, Akira laughing at him, Akira going to another room all together, Akira rejecting him.
“Sure.”
Akira… saying yes?
He sat up. “I mean, beside you. At the same time. In the same bed.” More rushed words fell out as he tried his best to ensure Akira knew exactly what he meant.
“Yeah. I’d like that too.” It wasn’t very often he heard Akira’s voice drop into a quiet, shy whisper. It felt like some tiny revenge to pull that emotion out of him, or it would have, if his heart wasn’t pounding so loudly in his ears he could hardly distinguish the tone.
He hurried to his feet, fearful that Akira may change his mind and moved towards the bed. He stopped.
“Come on then.” A rough hand grabbed his arm and pulled him down onto the bed in a way that could only have been described as ‘unceremoniously.’
He took a face full of pillow with a grunt before rolling over to his side.
They were very close. Akira’s hand rested just above his hip, his other arm tucked neatly under his head. “Like this, right?” he said, voice low and dreadfully intoxicating.
Yuuki nodded.
Staring into the kind and challenging grey eyes of Akira Kurusu, it finally hit him all at once. He felt the cool wet sensation balling up at the corners of his eyes, felt his nose start to run and scrunch up against his best wishes. He wiped at the tears, dragged his sleeve under his nose.
“I’m sorry,” he whimpered. “It’s too much. I can’t leave this behind. I should stay-”
Arms wrapped around him, pulled him in so close he wasn’t sure they were two separate people anymore. He responded by hugging back, burying his face against Akira, an ugly sobbing filling the small room.
“You were thinking about this all day, weren’t you?” Yuuki nodded, as best he could pressed so tightly against Akira. “I’m the one that’s sorry.” His voice wavered. “There’s something I wanted to tell you tomorrow, but I shouldn’t have kept you worried.”
Worried? Was that what this was? He felt he was just being selfish again, making Akira comfort him. He was going through this too, wasn’t he? Or...
Maybe it didn’t bother him to be apart.
Akira was still speaking. He shoved his own thoughts down as far as he could. “It’ll be for one year. I’m going to finish high school here, then I’m applying for a college in Tokyo. Sojiro said he’d let me take the attic again if I needed it.
“Anytime, he said. Even before I move back.”
Move back. The words echoed endlessly in Yuuki’s head. He was going to move back. This wasn’t permanent.
“I’m going to visit you so often you’ll get sick of me.”
Yuuki sniffled before asking, “Don’t you like it here?”
“I like you more.”
“That’s… not fair.”
Akira rolled over to his back, pulling Yuuki up onto his arm. He reached over his head and grabbed a tissue box. “That’s a weird response.”
He didn’t know what else to say. His head was spinning with so many thoughts, both good and bad, so he stopped thinking. He simply looked at Akira, smiling back at him with so much kindness in his eyes.
He accepted the tissue and blew his nose.
“I can stay here all night, right?”
Akira laughed. “That was the plan, wasn’t it?”
“Good.” He pushed himself closer. “Can-”
“Can I kiss you again?” They both asked at the same time. Yuuki laughed, tears still stinging at his eyes, hiccups interrupting constantly. Before he could protest, he was still covered in his own tears, Akira’s face was over his, lips trailing kisses from his ears, cheek, nose and to his mouth.
Yuuki sighed and cleared his mind of everything. Instead, he simply focused on Akira’s touch. His mouth against his, his arm sliding up Yuuki’s back, his leg pinning him to the bed, the gentle flutter of eyelashes and soft bangs against his face, the feel of his hip as Yuuki ran his hand along it, shy but wanting.
He’d be leaving at noon tomorrow, but it didn’t matter right now. It didn’t matter as Akira’s kisses slowly drifted off to sleep. It didn’t matter as he nestled against the crook of Akira’s arm. Didn’t matter as he looked out at the clear night sky beyond the open window.
He could wait a year. He could wait as long as he needed.