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That morning, Deku had woken up and brushed his teeth, just like normal. He'd put on his uniform, normal. Breakfast with his friends had been normal. Sitting in homeroom while Bakugou yelled and Kaminari laughed had been normal. He had every reason to expect it would be a perfectly normal school day.
He was wrong.
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"We're doing what?" Iida incredulously asks his paper as he's introducing homeroom. He clears his throat, blinking rapidly. "Uh-- today, we will be doing--" his voice cracks. "Sexual education."
The oddest array of anxious groans and whoops of laughter immediately overtake the room. Deku swallows. This is going to be one hell of a trip.
It's only a few minutes later All Might and Present Mic enter the room, carrying boxes in their hands. Deku feels his stomach drop. He absolutely cannot have All Might here for this. He's just praying the man isn't the one presenting. Luckily, Present Mic is the one who steps up to the podium. Aizawa sits in the back, surveying the scene.
"Hello, boys and girls, and good morning!" Present Mic says, bright as can be. "Today we will be learning about the human reproductive system, safe sex, and consent! Who's ready?"
His enthusiasm is downright overpowering. The class sits in silence for a moment, unsure. Present Mic coughs.
"Okay. Let's just start with the diagrams. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me." The man pulls out a laminated paper, holding it up to the class. Deku feels himself go red. Iida makes a strangled noise from his seat.
"Who can tell me what this is?" Present Mic asks. Sero raises his hand. "Yes?"
"A vagina!" Sero says proudly.
Deku's face is so hot he thinks it could rival Todoroki's left side.
"Close!" Present Mic exclaims. Deku sees Ochako hiding laughter behind her hands. "This is a vulva. The vagina is the internal structure."
Things seem to only go down hill from there, Sero and Kaminari giggling all through the explanation of the clitoris while Jirou tries to add her own input, until Mineta makes an inappropriate comment about the hymen, and gets removed for the rest of class.
Present Mic clears his throat. "Now, kids, there's some stigma surrounding the word 'vagina,' so I'd like us all to say it out loud. Say it with me. VAGINA!"
Most of the class lets out embarrassed mumbles, except for Mina, who screams at the top of her lungs. Present Mic's own voice booms through the classroom, and is no doubt heard from several rooms over.
Deku looks over to see All Might hiding a burning red face behind his hands. At least he isn't the only one who's embarrassed. The minutes pass all too slowly.
They've switched to a new diagram; Present Mic asks again if anybody knows what he's pointing at.
"That's the thing babies grow in," Bakugou says, voice hoarse. "The uvula."
The room goes silent. Not a single student seems to dare to want to correct the young man. An eternity passes in mere seconds.
"Uh, close," Present Mic coughs. "It's the, uh, uterus."
"I fuckin' knew that--"
Aizawa speaks up from the back. "No cursing in class, Bakugou."
Deku is starting to wonder if he could fake an illness.
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"Now, inside the testes; there are these uh; tube things--" Present Mic says, looking confused.
Todoroki raises his hand.
"Yes?"
"You mean the vas deferens, sir?"
Present Mic blinks. "Uh, yes."
A few giggles come from the back. Todoroki shrugs. Deku may want to die, but he can't help but admire the boy's confidence.
"I used to read medical books as a kid."
Iida lets out a strangled, "same here."
Kirishima so excitedly raises his hand when Mic asks what the prostate is that several people giggle. He explains it swiftly and eagerly; stopping to note that its stimulation can be pleasurable. He grins the entire time.
"Wait," Bakugou says, and Deku groans inwardly. "There's some shit up in dude's asses?"
"Pretty sure that's where shit goes," Kaminari says quietly.
"Shut the fuck up!" Bakugou growls.
"Bakugou--" Aizawa starts, but Kirishima is cutting him off.
"Bakugou, you don't know what the prostate is?" He looks genuinely hurt, somehow. Bakugou explodes again at this. Deku starts to dream of the sweet release of death.
"When are we gonna learn about female ejaculation?!" Jirou yells.
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Deku checks out mentally for a while after that; especially during the "masturbation is perfectly natural" speech. At some point All Might slips out, either having had enough embarrassment or getting tired of holding his form. Deku can't blame him.
"Okay!" Present Mic says excitedly, hoisting a box full of bananas up onto the podium. "Let's put some condoms on some fruit! Iida, come help me pass these out!"
Looking like he's seen death, Iida dutifully walks up to help.
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His hands feeling sticky from handling the condom, Deku is all too happy to throw the lubed-up banana back into the box Iida holds as he passes by to collect them, seemingly dissociated from the world around him, bright red.
"Okay, next, we're gonna practice consent," Present Mic says. "Everybody stand up and find a partner."
There's a moment of awkward, anxious silence, before the chairs start sliding. It takes Deku a moment to understand what's happening, but he stands anyways, following the other's actions. Unsure of what to do, he goes for who has always been his saving grace; Ochako.
"Hey, Ochako," he says. "Who were you going to--"
"I'm so sorry, Deku!" Ochako says hurriedly. "But I was gonna pair up with Tsuyu. It's just awkward, uh, working with a guy, you know. I really hope you don't mind."
Deku can't blame her, honestly. He shakes his head. "No, of course I understand, Ochako. That's perfectly okay." He thinks of simply sprinting back to his desk, eyeing how almost everyone has already paired themselves up as he walks down the row of seats. And bumps right into Todoroki.
"I'm sorry!" Deku squeaks, already feeling terribly embarrassed.
"No, it's fine," Todoroki says calmly. "Uh-- did you want to--?" He looks out over the room, and Deku sees again that there are barely any possible partners left.
"Oh," Deku says. "Uh, sure, I guess."
It seems most of the girls had paired up together, ostensibly avoiding the awkwardness of working with the boys, although this also left many of the young men in a difficult position. Deku sees Iida, having been left to finish collecting the bananas, has been paired with Aoyama. He almost feels a little guilty.
"Okay," Todoroki says nodding. "I'm glad they're teaching this here." He looks around idly, nods at Momo, who has paired up with Jirou, behind them. "It's a good thing to teach kids. It's important, you know?"
"Definitely," Deku says. He does agree, but it's hard to think with this much embarrassment thrumming through him.
"Alright, let's get started," Present Mic says. "Choose one partner to be Person A, and one partner to be Person B."
Deku swallows. "Ah, I can be B. I don't mind."
Todoroki nods. "Okay. I'll be A, then."
"Now," Mic continues. "I want you to repeat after me and ask for explicit consent. Person A, say to your partner, loud and clear, 'Do you want to have sex with me?' Go!"
Deku blinks rapidly as Todoroki coughs. Oh dear lord. Oh dear lord, no--
Todoroki straightens up, as if steadying himself. "Do you want to have sex with me?" he says steadily, although his eyebrows are pinched together in what Deku assumes is the embarrassment he just can't hide. In a terrible wave of nausea, Deku realizes that it is unbearably cute.
He's red as a tomato, he's absolutely sure of it.
This is it. This is how he dies. All the training, and this is it.
Present Mic, unaware of his suffering, only continues. "Ask, 'is this okay? Do you like that?'"
Todoroki has a look in his eye that Deku would normally assume was anger or intense focus, but he's now fairly certain is unbearable shame and humiliation.
"Is this okay," Todoroki says, and it's hoarser this time, a little more mumbled. "Do you like that?"
Deku can swear he almost hears the boy's voice squeak.
This isn't death. This is hell. He's clearly already died.
"Now, Person B," Present Mic starts, and Deku thinks, oh no oh no oh no--
"Be very clear! Say 'yes, I do like that, please continue' or, 'no, I don't, please stop.' Go!"
Deku makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat. Todoroki is so close in front of him they're almost touching, and he's so terribly embarrassed he could die.
"Yes," Deku starts, voice shaking. "I-- oh god. Oh god."
"Midoriya?" Todoroki asks. "Are you alright?" He lifts a hand to run it through his hair, breathing out anxiously. 'God, he's got nice hands,' Deku thinks. He does; beautiful, strong hands, and he's so talented--
"I'm fine," Deku tries, a squeak about two octaves too high.
"Are you sure--"
"Yep!" he confirms. He takes a deep breath. "Idolikethat," he forces out, voice breaking. "Please." He screams inwardly. "Please continue."
He takes a huge breath. It's done. He did it. He might be dead now, but he did it.
"Great job, everyone! Now, congratulate your partners and get back to your seats."
Todoroki holds out his hand for Deku to shake, and Deku only thinks about passing out once as he takes the favor.
"You did well," Todoroki says politely, and Deku thinks the other boy might actually be blushing, now.
"You too," Deku pushes out, feeling terribly tired. Todoroki's hand is warm. And nice. And he doesn't really want to let go--
He realizes they've been shaking hands for about thirty seconds, and promptly lets go. He turns, and doesn't look back as he returns to his seat. Deku eyes the classroom, seeing Kirishima has ash on his face from being paired with Bakugou.
He catches Todoroki looking at him, quiet but still a little red, and he screams inside again. He resolves himself to melting right into his desk.
It is only then that the bell, mercifully, rings.