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Magnus doesn’t know how he thought he could break things off with Alexander. Especially in the middle of a war.
Walking away had been so easy to do. He had meant every word he said to Alec, he couldn’t be selfish, he had other people to protect. He couldn't lose it all. But trying to forget and be strong for the sake of the Downworld was much harder.
What he had tried to ignore and instead had realised the moment Alec knocked on his door nights later, was that he cares just as much about Alec as he does for the good of his own people. That’s what love is, no matter how much he tried to fight it.
So when Magnus opened the door to find Alec standing there, heaving breaths of fear and worry out rapidly as he asked if he was going to be fighting at the planned attack on Valentine the next day, Magnus was hit with the terrible realisation that Alec might get hurt. That the sadistic, cruel wrath of Valentine and Jonathan would harm the love of his life. And that thought, paired with the obvious fear in Alec’s eyes for the immortal warlock in front of him had Magnus surging forward and taking Alec in his arms. They spent the night whispering reassurances and loving words into each other's ears between desperate kisses, trying to show how much they missed each other, how much they couldn't bear to lose each other, how sorry they were about everything .
Because what if something happened the next day, at the battle? What if their last kiss was one of shrouded by the memory of lies, and one of them would have to live with that forever?
Magnus decided to fight for more nights with Alec. Lying together now in bed, he knows that trying to protect both Alec and his own people will be near impossible, but he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t try.
He looks over at Alec, who seems to be lost in thought. Neither of them have slept all night, they’ve both just been soaking in the reality that the other person is there, after days of hurt and confusion.
Magnus glances slowly around the room. Time is a strange thing when you’re immortal. Fleeting one moment, a decade going by in the blink of an eye, and prolonged the next. Here, next to Alec, time is theirs. But as the first rays of morning light filter in through the half-opened curtains, announcing the new day of battle, a sense of dread crowds the room.
Alec fills the silence with a tired sigh from where his head rests on Magnus’ bare chest. “What if we just ran away?”
Magnus freezes, hand pausing halfway along it's path through Alec’s hair. Taking a moment to blink, he looks down to see the Shadowhunter's eyes half-closed, gazing at where their hands sit interlocked at Magnus’ hip. “What do you mean, darling?”
Alec moves his head so that head is nuzzled against Magnus’ neck, lips lightly brushing against the skin. “Just portalling away to somewhere like Tokyo. You and me, no responsibilities.” He lowers his voice to a quiet murmur Magnus almost can’t hear. “All we need is each other.”
“Alexander,” Magnus whispers, bringing the hand that was playing with his hair to remove Alec’s face from its hiding place. When their eyes meet, Magnus’ heart pangs painfully in his chest at the anguish and fear in them that's too heavy for this conversation to be hypothetical.
“Alexander, we can’t just leave and abandon our responsibilities. I know you know we have people depending on us.“ No matter how much Magnus wishes they could run away from the constant trouble they face on an almost daily basis, he knows they absolutely can’t, and that the fear of the looming war is what has Alec speaking his darkest hopes in this quiet safe-haven.
“I know,” Alec says after a long silence. His voice cracks in defeat.
Magnus moves from lying on his back, shuffling so that they’re both lying on their sides, face to face, their foreheads resting against each other.
“But I’ll always be here, my love. Through whatever we face during our lives of constant responsibility, I’ll always be here at the end of the day.”
Alec’s hazel eyes lock on Magnus’ un-glamoured ones. “Always?”
Magnus hears the hint of disbelief in his boyfriend’s voice. Magnus can’t blame him, after all he’s probably been through after their short breakup. He swallows, but his words are weighed with utter honesty. “For as long as you’ll have me.”
Alec smiles, then. A small smile that says he knows something that Magnus doesn’t. He leans forward and presses their lips together quickly, like he’s sealing a promise.
Disregarding the weight of the world that rests on their shoulders, the Head of the Institute and the High Warlock of Brooklyn lie back and continue waiting for the upcoming battle. Together.