Work Text:
"That is...a very fitting look for you."
"Burn in Hell, Gwen."
Gwen made a face, as if she was struggling desperately to hold back a laugh. "It's funny you should say burn. And Hell."
"Not to worry, Daniel!" David said quickly, as he hurried to the nightstand by his bed. "One of the most important parts of being a camp counselor is to be prepared for any sort of emergency! Just sit down and try not to move so much while I find the Aloe Vera."
Daniel scowled as he seated himself in the wooden chair by the desk, every inch of his exposed skin stinging from what would normally be a painless motion.
He had only experienced pain this intense one other time in his life. The moment after the poison had passed his lips and began to work its terrible magic on his insides had been followed by unforgiving, agonizing pain, that no amount of emptying his stomach contents could soothe. The painful burning of his throat and nose as his body still tried to force the poison out of his system regardless of whether or not it would be successful. The constant fading in and out of consciousness, with no knowledge as to whether or not he would actually wake up the next time he passed out.
He used to think that nothing could top that as the most painful moment of his life.
Until he had woken up that morning, the majority of his body as red and as hot as the flames of Hell themselves.
"I warned you to put on extra sunblock yesterday during swim camp," David said, as he rummaged through the drawer. "It was one of the hottest days of the year."
"I did apply extra sunblock, David!" Daniel said through gritted teeth as he pointed at the bottle of sunblock on the dresser. "In fact, I triple applied it after I watched Nikki eat about half a pound of hers."
"...And you didn't stop her?"
"As if I care about what the little gremlin puts in her body," Daniel pointed out. "Besides, it was a brand made specifically for children, meaning it was non-toxic. Probably."
David paused his search to give Daniel a disappointed look. "What?" Daniel asked defensively. "You know how she is! Plus, it's not like I could actually stop her from eating it, even if I wanted to!"
"Yeah, honestly, I gotta take his side on this one," Gwen said. "I saw Nikki try to eat a fork last week. She's a weird kid with a stomach of steel and I doubt he would have been able to stop her from eating sunblock if she was determined enough to keep doing it."
"In any case," Daniel continued. "I was also...distracted with a more important task than stopping her from putting things in her mouth."
"And that task was?" David asked, returning to his search.
"None of your business."
"It is my business, if it involves you doing something you're not supposed to be doing," David said. "What did you do?"
"It wasn't anything bad!" Daniel insisted.
"He was helping Space Kid put on sunblock," Gwen said with a smirk. "I saw him from the cabin."
"Not necessary, Gwen," Daniel said through gritted teeth, while David let out a gasp of joy behind him. "David, don't you say a single word-"
"Aww, Daniel, you care about him, don't you?" David asked, ignoring the warning. "You care about a camper!"
"I am not having this conversation with either of you," Daniel said, crossing his arms as best he could. "Can we please return to the topic of why I still got burned even after applying that much sunblock to my body?"
Gwen let out an amused noise. "Aww, is the big, bad cult leader afraid to talk about his feelings?"
"Sunblock. Not doing it's job," Daniel said, giving her a look. "Let's get back to solving that, please."
Gwen rolled her eyes and strolled over to the dresser to examine the bottle. After a moment, she flicked open the cap and gave the concoction inside a curious sniff. "...Yeah, this isn't sunblock."
"What do you mean?" Daniel asked.
"I mean, it doesn't smell like sunblock," Gwen said, and gave it another sniff. "What the Hell is that?"
"That's not possible," Daniel said. "I've used it every day this summer and it's worked perfectly-"
His voice traveled off as he began to piece things together. "...Max. Max did something to it! I know he did! He probably had Nikki distract me while he switched the bottles!"
"Now, Daniel," David said, as he finally pulled a bottle of Aloe Vera out of the nightstand and returned to Daniel's side. "I know Max can be a bit of a prankster, but-"
"Don't you 'but' me, David!" Daniel said fiercely, his voice rising. "I know he did this! I don't care what the judge or either of you say, he is DEAD! Do you hear me?! DEAD! No one on this godforsaken planet will be able to convict me after I strangle the life out of hi-OW!"
Daniel let out a cry of pain as David (a little harder than was probably necessary) slapped an Aloe-Vera-covered hand against his burned shoulder. "There's no need for talk like that," David said sternly. "I know how painful sunburns can be, but I'm not giving you a pass on the threats because of it."
Daniel glared back at him, the temptation to press his luck strong. But he couldn't deny that he was in a tremendous amount of pain, and the threat of breaking David's hand if he tried that stunt again would likely be met with either another slap, or Gwen slamming him against the nearest hard surface; neither of which sounded ideal in his condition. "At least tell me you're going to punish him for this."
"I will talk to him shortly," David assured him. "No matter your history with the camp, I do agree with you that, if he is responsible for this, it was crossing a line and he shouldn't have done it."
"Also, to be fair, you're the dumbass who left your sunblock unattended in a camp full of kids who hate you for trying to kill them," Gwen pointed out. "Honestly, that's on you, Shia Lebouf."
Daniel raised an eyebrow. "What the hell does that mean?"
"It means that you shouldn't have left-"
"No, I meant the nickname."
"Shia Lebouf?" Gwen repeated. "You know, because he wore an ankle bracelet in Disturbia?"
Both David and Daniel gave her a blank look. "Seriously? I'm the only one who saw that? ...Okay, David I can almost understand, because he's not into scary movies." She pointed at Daniel. "But you're seriously telling me that you haven't seen it?"
"I don't think you realize what it means to be part of an..." Daniel paused for a moment. "...unpopular religion that happens to dabble in...sacrificing children to appease our gods."
"It was a cult," Gwen said. "You can pretend it wasn't all you want, but it was the textbook definition of a cult."
"Regardless, such activities didn't leave a lot of extra time to peruse the selection at Blockbuster," Daniel said.
"Blockbuster hasn't been relevant for years, genius," Gwen said. "It's either Netflix or you just straight up pirate stuff online."
"Which is illegal, not to mention rude!" David added quickly. "So, don't do that or I will have no choice but to call the judge!"
Daniel let out a groan as David finished applying the medicine to his burns. "There, that should help for the time being," he said, rising to his feet.
"Great, so instead of feeling like I'm on fire every time I move, I'll feel like I'm covered in slime?" Daniel said bitterly, as he also stood up from his chair. "Aren't I lucky?"
"At least slime doesn't hurt," David said, snapping the lid of the bottle shut. "With burns as red as yours, though, I think it might be smart for you to stay in bed for a few days. Maybe a week, depending on how quickly you heal."
"Wait, hold on," Daniel said slowly. "You mean, I don't have to babysit the pack of demons for a week?"
"Not necessarily how I'd phrase it, but yes," David said. "There's no sense in making you work when you can barely move."
"So, just to be completely clear," Daniel said, as he began to back towards his bed. "You're saying I don't have to participate in any of your ridiculous camp activities for the next few days?"
"They're not my activities, they're Mr. Campbell's," David said matter-of-factly. "But again, yes."
Daniel had reached the bed before David could finish his sentence, the cool sheets and soft pillow a welcomed sensation against his hot skin. "That's the smartest idea you've had in the time I've been here, David. Actually...it's probably the smartest idea you've had period. Cherish that idea, because you probably won't have another one like it any time soon."
Gwen let out a scoff. "Uh, I don't think you can make fun of him when you were hospitalized for drinking your own poison, idiot."
"I was distracted, Gwendolyn," Daniel growled. "Also if I recall correctly, you're the one who not only decided to bring a Satanist into the camp, but you also let her escape."
"At least she could, Joseph Christiansen," Gwen said, crossing her arms.
Daniel lifted his head. "Okay, now what does that nickname mean?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"...Don't you two have activities to run?"
"Oh, my gosh, you're right!" David said. "The campers will be finished with breakfast soon! Daniel, you just try to get some rest, okay? I'll leave the Aloe Vera on the nightstand, but if you absolutely need anything else, Gwen and I will be back to check on you in a bit."
"And if you try any funny business, I'll smack your burns as hard as I can," Gwen warned.
"Gwen!"
"Come on, David, he'd deserve it."
"Noted," Daniel muttered, his head hitting the pillow again. "And don't forget to tell Max I hate him and I hope he dies."
"Yeah, yeah, save your energy, Tom Cruise," Gwen said, as she followed David to the door. "Sunburns are fucking draining and you'll be too tired to feel anything besides exhausted. Trust me."
Daniel pointed at her. "Okay, now that one's just offensive. My religion was completely different from Scientology-"
"It really wasn't."
With a sigh, Daniel let his arm gently fall down to the side of the bed. "...Yeah, it wasn't."
----------------
It took about an hour for the cool bed sheets to become hot and uncomfortable against his burns. He had long since pushed the blankets to the floor and had already reapplied another layer of Aloe Vera in the hopes it would keep the pain at bay long enough for him to nod off to sleep for more than a few minutes.
No such luck.
He wanted to be angry, no, furious at Max for his little prank. Not that he wasn't, quite literally, red with anger over it. But as Gwen had warned him (he hated to agree with anyone at the hellhole of a camp outside of Space Kid, but once again, facts had to rear their ugly heads), it felt like someone had taken a vacuum to his energy and left him a drained, burned husk of a man and he couldn't even find the energy to keep hold of his anger for long periods of time.
Not for a lack of trying, for Daniel had tried desperately. He tried picturing Max's smug little face in his mind, or picturing him doubled over in a fit of obnoxious laughter upon hearing that his little prank had done the job. But eventually, his thoughts would be brought back to his aching skin and lack of energy, a lack of energy that not even the pitcher of water that David eventually brought him could fix.
All he could do was just lie there, too hot and tired to stay properly angry at Max. And the thought of Max taking away the opportunity to even stay angry at him was making Daniel even more miserable.
"Hey, Cult Man~"
Speak of the devil.
Daniel glanced towards the doorway with as much hatred as he could muster. Sure enough, Max was standing there with a cheeky grin on his face. "What are you doing here, you little monster?"
"Just checking on you," Max said, his smile widening. "David said you got sunburned yesterday. Wonder how that could have happened?"
"I know it was you who did it," Daniel said, wincing as he pulled himself up to a sitting position. "What did you do to my sunscreen?"
"Me?" Max asked, feigning offense. "Daniel, I am surprised. I mean, anybody here could have combined baby oil and hand cream to make something that looks like sunblock, but would really end up burning your skin to a crisp and no one would know it until the next day when the damage was already done."
"I'm going to murder you for this," Daniel said, his voice low and dangerous. "You will not live to hit puberty, I can promise you that."
"Oh, I'm so scared," Max said, as he approached the bed. "But seriously, you aren't going to do a thing to me."
Daniel glared at him. "You really think this is a game, Max?"
"I absolutely do," Max said. "You want to know why?"
"Oh, enlighten me."
"Because I know that the more I push you, the more you're likely to slip up and try to kill me," Max said. "Which would normally be terrifying. However, I know that the second you lay a hand on me, David and Gwen will toss your ass back in jail before you can even blink. And say you are tougher than you look and you can deal with a few pranks for the summer. I still get to prank you in the first place and you can't do shit to stop me."
Max crossed his arms. "You can't do shit to me, but I can do whatever I want to you-"
Before Max could process what was happening, Daniel grabbed him by the front of his hoodie and lifted him so they were eye-to-eye, his sunburn momentarily forgotten while his anger returned in full force. Max's smugness had immediately melted into terror as Daniel stared him down.
"Aww, not so brave after I call your bluff, Max?" Daniel asked, his mouth curling into a wicked smile. "No rude little comments or quips?"
"Let go of me or I'll scream!" Max said, his voice shaking.
"David and Gwen are with the rest of the campers on the other side of camp," Daniel pointed out. "No one would get here in time and I'd make sure no one could find your body."
"David will notice I'm missing eventually!" Max pointed out frantically. "It's one of the most irritating things about him, actually. He cares too much. And he'd come looking for me after too long! He'll immediately suspect you if I go missing!"
Daniel rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Max. If I was going to actually cause you harm, I would have done it the moment I returned to camp," he said calmly. "Of course, I would love nothing more then to see your blood paint the walls of this cabin. Perhaps while David was watching. I know it would really mess him up to see his little golden boy slaughtered in such a gruesome fashion, which I would enjoy greatly."
Daniel shook his head. "But unfortunately, or I suppose in your case, fortunately, it's like you said: I cannot do much to retaliate to your pranks so long as I am still under house arrest, or serving time for my crimes. However, much like your pranks, your thought process is juvenile and that of a small-minded person. For you see, much like everything else in this world, the time I am forced to serve will eventually come to an end. If our justice system was broken enough to place me in the care of the people I previously tried to kill, it'll be broken enough to lift my sentence prematurely. And the day that happens is the day I will track you down and kill you as slowly and painfully as possible for everything you've put me through."
He felt his smile twitch at the sight of Max looking more horrified with every word. "You won't have David around to protect you forever, Max. And I highly doubt your own parents care enough about you to stop my plans. So you just keep pulling your silly little pranks and enjoy them while they last. Your pranks, your miserable little life...All will end with the passing of time. Or a knife. Honestly, I'm still not sure what I'll use to kill you, but I suppose that's a thought for another day-"
SMACK!
"MOTHERF-"
Once again, Daniel let out a loud cry as Max's tiny palm hit the reddest part his arm as hard as it could, and he instinctively dropped Max out of shock. With another slap for good measure (this time to his shoulder), Max jumped off the bed and raced for the door in a panicked fashion. Pain surged through Daniel's entire arm as he watched Max go and he fell back against the pillow again with a groan, only to let out another cry of pain as his burned back hit the mattress too hard.
Great, now he was even more exhausted than before. Fucking Max.
----------------------
"And how is the bedridden doing?"
"I'm going to kill Max," Daniel said, an arm over his eyes. "I'm going to kill him. He is so dead."
David shook his head as he approached Daniel's bedside. "Look, I really hate to be such a downer, but I must ask that you stop saying that. Unless you really want me to give the judge a call."
"Do you not see what that little demon did to me?!" Daniel asked furiously, removing his arm from his eyes. "Come on, David, just let me have my threats! I have nothing else!"
David picked up the bottle of Aloe Vera. "And that isn't Max's fault, now is it?"
"...Yes!" Daniel pointed out, and held out his arm. "It's entirely his fault! Well...his fault and yours. But honestly, I'm positive I would have definitely succeeded in my plans had Max not intervened. You were less of a threat and more of an annoying distraction than anything-ow, ow, OW! You're doing that on purpose!"
With a glare, Daniel rubbed the spot on his arm where David had 'accidentally' squeezed a little too hard. "I asked you nicely, Daniel," David said with a smile. "Now stop talking and let me reapply the Aloe Vera without all your negativity."
Blue eyes met green in a vicious silence, before Daniel huffed and looked away in defeat. "Between the arm pinching and the warning you gave me when I returned to camp, I'm starting to believe you have more of a dark side then you let on," he said.
"I wouldn't exactly call it that," David said, as he applied the medicine to Daniel's skin. "But I have my limits. And you've been pushing them ever since you got here."
Daniel raised an eyebrow. "And Max doesn't?"
"Max is a young boy with a lot of issues that are not necessarily his fault," David said. "You are a grown man who not only made the choice to kill one group of campers, but attempted to do it again and tricked me in the process."
"It's not much of a trick if you're simply too dense to see what's right in front of you," Daniel pointed out. "I wasn't exactly hiding it. And again, a ten-year-old picked up on it pretty easily-OW, okay, okay, I get it. I'll stop."
"There's a lot of things I'm willing to forgive, Daniel," David said, once again loosening his grip on Daniel's arm. "And I really would like to forgive you, as difficult or impossible as it might be. I was serious when I said I considered you a friend, and I'd very much like for us to go back to that."
"I don't need your forgiveness or your friendship," Daniel said, making a face. "I don't care what you or anyone at this camp thinks of me."
"What about Space Kid?" David asked, his smile returning. "He did ask if you were okay when you didn't join in today's activities."
"Don't try and play therapist with me, David," Daniel said. "Save it for the campers."
David stared at him for a moment, before he set the bottle back in place on the nightstand. "Very well. I'll come and check on you again in a little bit. I'll be sure to grab an additional bottle of Aloe Vera from the mess hall, because you're probably going to need a lot more. The sun really did a number on you."
Daniel settled back down with a sigh. "Yes, thank you for stating the obvious. I mean, next you're going to tell me that you're wasting your life playing babysitter for a bunch of ungrateful children."
David froze in the doorway. "You know, you can insult me all you want. I'm more than used to it." He turned back around to face Daniel. "But I don't really see how me being able to do my dream job for a living is a bad thing. I'm here because I love this camp and everyone in it. You're here because you tried to destroy all that. So really, which of us is that supposed to insult?"
Daniel was silent, mouth slightly agape as David turned back to the door and left him alone again. He stared at the doorway for a few more minutes, before his scowl returned and he once again tried to get comfortable against the bed sheets.
He had a feeling that being bedridden for a week was not going to be as enjoyable as he originally planned.
