Chapter Text
Lapis stretched leisurely in the late afternoon sun before laying down on the barn roof and tucking her arms under her chin. She was happy, she had been for awhile, and she still marveled at the emotion. She looked down at their yard from her perch and smiled as her eyes fell over the spot where the morp Peri had made during their snow day together once stood. She could still picture the sculpted versions of herself and Peridot below, snow Lapis hugging snow Peridot from behind. The image never failed to bring a smile to her face. Really the only thing that had kept their little snow family together for as long as it had lasted was Lapis' own willpower. But soon even that wasn't enough to combat the warming weather. They'd had to let the morp go. The only other option would have been for Lapis to spend every minute of the day consciously keeping the snow sculptures intact. Yeah, no thanks.
But that was okay, they had plenty of pictures and they'd always known this morp would be reliant on the Earth's erratic climate. She'd enjoyed it while it lasted. Besides, the real thing was better anyway she thought as she turned her gaze to Peridot. Dot was busy rummaging through their salvage pile. Occasionally she'd have to stop and move Veggie out of the way, who continually tried to burrow into the cluttered mess while she worked. Still Peri never lost her patience, calmly plucking him from the heap over and over again.
Lapis knew Peridot was looking for ways to improve her guard drones. It had become a particular obsession since this morning when one had flown into their barn with sirens blaring before promptly bursting into flame. Thankfully Lapis was able to extinguish it before anything got out of hand, although it wasn't a very fun way to wake up. She'd fallen out of her hammock.
Peridot had been less than pleased, she spent nearly an hour after ranting about the “Trials of working with primitive technology!” before Lapis shushed her with a kiss. She loved doing that. Since their first kiss in the snow it had become a very common practice between them and a sure way to calm Peridot down. And make her blush furiously. Lapis found herself so lost in thoughts of kisses that she didn't notice that Peridot was trying to get her attention from down below.
Not until she was hovering on a garbage lid at eye level with her.
“Lapis? Didn't you hear me calling you?” Peridot asked.
“Sorry, I was just thinking about stuff,” Lapis replied, the hints of a mischievous grin blooming across her azure features.
“What were you so single-mindedly focused on if I may inquire?”
“This,” Lapis answered as she leaned out over the edge of the roof and planted a light peck on Peridot's lips. Peridot's face flushed ever so slightly teal and her garbage lid wavered a little, but otherwise she held her composure. Lapis just grinned.
“I wish you'd stop doing that,” Peridot grumbled.
“No you don't.” Lapis answered with a snort and a playful bop to Peridot's nose. “Now, what can I do for you my adorable barn mate?”
Peridot sighed and rolled her eyes, but she also smiled. “I was inquiring as to whether you'd like to watch Camp Pining Hearts together.”
“Giving up on upgrading your flying time bombs already?” Lapis teased.
“No. But I could use a period of recreational activity to gather myself. The process is...trying my patience. I was hoping you'd join me?” Peridot replied.
“You just want to cuddle,” Lapis said as she stood up and spread her wings before descending down towards their truck turned TV den.
“Yes. That too,” Peridot agreed as she followed.
Several hours later, the sun long gone behind the tree dotted horizon, found Lapis and Peridot most of the way through Peri's favorite season of Camp Pining Hearts. Lapis didn't much care for it, season four was pretty hit-or-miss in her opinion, but she was happy enough to watch. It meant Peridot was sitting in her lap, it meant she could wrap her arms around her and bury her face in her floofy hair. Peridot was completely engrossed in the current episode. Lapis could tell when a part particularly excited her because the fingers currently entwined with her own would tense. It was adorable.
Still, Lapis found her eyes and mind wandering as she idly rubbed her thumb over the back of her barn mate's hand. A certain empty space that she'd grown accustomed to being occupied by a red ship caught her notice.
The space where the Ruby ship had sat.
Lapis snuggled closer against Peridot as uncomfortable memories of that experience resurfaced. Peridot let out a contented sigh in response but remained enraptured by the softly glowing television. Percy and Paulette were arguing about something from what Lapis gathered, but her thoughts were elsewhere. In particular with the Ruby that Steven had dubbed Navy. She remembered how...upset she'd been at the new arrival. Things were going so well for her and Peridot, just the two of them and Veggie alone in their little barn with their morps and their shows and their kisses. She hadn't wanted to take Navy in, she hadn't trusted her. But then Steven had pointed out how much Navy was like the two of them when they first came to Earth. And then her adorable Dot had said how great the two of them would be at helping Navy adjust with all that they'd learned together.
Steven and Peridot both trying to convince her? Of course she caved.
And then things had really started to get bad.
Navy had taken to life on Earth so easily. She'd loved everything, enjoyed everything, effortlessly mastered concepts that had taken Lapis months to accept and grow comfortable with. It had been infuriating, it had been unbelievable.
It had been terrifying.
Navy had made Lapis feel so...so wrong. So broken... When the Ruby's deception had finally been revealed a wave of pure relief had washed over her. She'd been right. None of it had been real, it was all just a trick so Navy could reach her own ends. Lapis had been so happy to realize...to realize that she wasn't as broken as she thought she was. Lapis let out a sigh and leaned her face further into Peridot's hair, taking in the soft, comforting smell of her companion. She'd made a lot of progress since she came to live at the barn and most of it was thanks to the gem sitting in her lap. She wasn't sure where she'd be without Peridot.
Still, there were some unresolved issues that continued to gnaw at her. Progress that still needed to be made. But Lapis didn't want to dwell on that at the moment. She turned her eyes towards the television and tried to lose herself in her favorite show, lackluster season or not, and just be content with how far she'd come. Percy and Paulette were still arguing when a particular line struck Lapis right in the gut.
“I can't just let it go Paulette. I have to confront him, get some kind of closure, if I'm ever going to completely move on. If we're ever really going to be friends.”
“Can't just let it go.”
“Closure.”
“Move on.”
Lapis stiffened as the words echoed through her mind. They seemed to oddly coincide with what she'd just been trying to suppress. She very nearly spread her wings out of reflex and sought the barn roof, a place where she had often retreated early on in her relationship with Peridot. For whatever reason a line she'd heard at least a dozen times before now threatened to tear down the barriers she'd built up around this issue for so long. Her breathing sped up and she buried her face fully in Peridot's hair as she tried to regain control of herself. Tried not to let her emotions overwhelm her.
“Correct Percy! Don't listen to Paulette! You must undertake whatever trials are necessary to repair your relationship with Pierre so that you two may conquer the camp as the superior pair that you are!” Peridot cried out suddenly, raising both arms over her head in her excitement. Lapis jumped at the gesture, lifting her face out of the smaller gem's hair in shock. She tried to steady herself but she couldn't stop several shudders traveling through her form.
Peridot noticed.
All the enthusiasm and unbound excitement drained from Peridot's body as she twisted around in Lapis' lap to look up at her. Her eyes wide and full of concern, her hands held uncertainly out in front of her. Lapis was torn between embarrassment for causing Dot to worry and endearment from how adorable she looked, all while trying to stave off a panic attack.
“Lapis, what's wrong? Are you okay?” Peridot asked softly, calmly. Careful not to be too loud or make any more movements that might startle Lapis. She knew her so well.
“What? I'm fine. The only thing that's wrong here is how cute you are P-pod,” Lapis deflected as she took a shaky breath and forced a smile across her face. She was okay. She was in control. This was silly, she'd moved past this. She'd made jokes about this.
“Lapis...don't do that. I'm here, you can talk to me,” Peridot replied, slowly reaching out and taking Lapis' hands in her own. Oh geez. Lapis wasn't getting out of this one. If the word “cute” didn't raise at least an annoyed huff from Dot then she knew she was serious. With a defeated sigh Lapis gave in, maybe talking about it would help. Avoiding it certainly hadn't.
“It's Pearl,” Lapis said weakly, leaning her forehead against Peridot's and gently squeezing her hands in her own.
“Pearl? What about Pearl?” Peridot responded in a confused tone as she searched Lapis' downturned eyes.
“Pearl and...” Lapis trailed off into a deep breath before finishing her sentence in a hushed rush. “Pearl and the mirror. I've been thinking about it and Percy and Paulette's argument kinda cracked the walls I've been building up around it for whatever reason. I think...I think maybe I've been avoiding it for too long.”
“Oh,” Peridot replied in a thoughtful tone, her brow scrunched up in that adorable way that Lapis had come to know as her “thinking face”. “You're not upset with the others? Are they not equally responsible?”
The question caught Lapis somewhat off guard and she leaned back away from Peridot as she looked down into her eyes and processed it. “I...I don't blame Amethyst. I don't think she had any idea I was in there. Garnet certainly holds some responsibility, but Pearl... Pearl is the one who found me. Pearl is the one who kept me trapped inside her gem for millennia. I haven't been...I just can't move past that,” Lapis replied in a taut voice, now staring straight down at her bunched skirt.
But then Peridot's hands came up to either side of Lapis' face and gently lifted it up to look at her. “Then you should talk to her,” she said simply.
“What? No. I can't do that now. Not after things have settled down. It would upset Steven and—”
“Lapis. Perhaps the most valuable lesson I've learned from Steven since coming to Earth is that communication is important. Keeping it all inside isn't healthy. For you or Pearl. It's obvious,” Peridot interrupted in a sure, calm voice as she rubbed soothing circles with her thumbs over Lapis' cheeks.
“Obvious?”
“Yes, I've made some observations of the interactions between yourself and Pearl. Or lack thereof. Your relationship could be accurately described as polite avoidance. During the baseball game against the rubies for instance. Despite being on the same team, you two did not initiate any communication between each other.”
“To be fair Peri that was awhile ago and I kinda thought the whole thing was dumb. I went along with it for Steven.”
“Yes. It was certainly unorthodox... But the point is you were both obviously uncomfortable with each other. Pearl likely just as much as you. If not more so.”
“What? Why would she be more uncomfortable than me?” Lapis asked clasping her palm over one of the hands Peridot still held against her cheek and raising an eyebrow.
“Because. I believe Pearl feels some measure of guilt and responsibility for your emotional trauma in regards to the mirror. Further evidence to support this theory arose during the human consumption ritual we partook of with Andy,” Peridot replied as she leaned back from Lapis and raised her right index finger before her while taking on a lecturing tone. “Your excellent witticism contrasting the corn and table with your own past experiences failed to elicit a humorous response from Pearl. On the contrary it seemed to distress her.”
“I...I guess I didn't notice,” Lapis said awkwardly as she thought back.
“So you should talk to her Lapis!” Peridot said once again,dropping her lecturing tone and throwing her arms up with an enthusiastic grin.
“You're so cute,” Lapis snorted, booping Peridot on the nose.
“I am not cute! I am an intimidating and highly skilled gem!” Peridot huffed, but Lapis could tell her heart wasn't in it.
“You're right, how could the fierce Peri-dactyl be cute!” Lapis exclaimed as she pulled Peridot in close and promptly blew a raspberry against the side of her neck.
“La-Lapis! Stop! I-I can't breathe!” Peridot laughed hysterically as she squirmed in Lapis' grip. Lapis had discovered not long after their first kiss how terribly ticklish Peridot was. She took every opportunity to exploit that fact.
“You're a gem, you don't need to breathe,” Lapis purred against Peridot's neck before she finally relented and pulled away.
“I regret ever encouraging your friendship with Amethyst,” Peridot gasped as she caught an unneeded breath. “I did not account for you two trading nicknames for me.”
“Awww don't be that way Periwinkle, it's all said with love. And Amethyst is really good at thinking them up,” Lapis chirped as she stood up in the truck and disentangled herself from her barn mate.
“So...Are you going to speak with Pearl?”
“Yeah. I think I am,” Lapis answered as she turned her gaze towards the Temple in the distance. The moon was nearly full tonight and the white stone of the structure shone with a soft, ethereal glow.
“Tonight?” Peridot said as she stood and followed Lapis' gaze.
“Probably best. I didn't realize it was still eating at me like this. I should go before I lose my nerve.”
“Do you want me to accompany you?” Peridot offered, reaching out to grasp Lapis' hand.
“Nah. Someone has to keep an eye on Lil Veggie,” Lapis said affectionately, glancing down at the small pumpkin snuggled up at their feet. “Besides... I think I need to do this alone.”
“Okay,” Peridot responded, giving Lapis' hand a supportive squeeze. “But promise me you'll refrain from drowning the Temple in a tidal wave. Steven would be sad and it would be counterproductive to your goal of achieving closure.”
Lapis broke into a snort filled bout of giggles at that remark before finally recovering herself. “I promise Peri. Scouts honor,” Lapis said as she leaned down and planted a soft kiss over Peridot's gemstone.
“Excellent. I believe while it may be uncomfortable this conversation will be beneficial for the both of you. Good luck.”
“Thanks,” Lapis said softly as she spread her wings into the moonlight. They glittered and danced as she flexed them in preparation for takeoff. “And don't start season five without me, I wanna trash talk it together.”
“Affirmative,” Peridot said with a wave as Lapis hopped into the air.
And with that she was soaring out into the night sky over the small expanse of land and sea that separated the barn from the Crystal Temple and the glittering lights of Beach City. Flying off to tackle one more obstacle in her way. One more challenge to be met.
One more stop on her journey to become whole again.