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“Where the fuck were you.”
“I…”
“You were supposed to go to the fucking pharmacy and get Joanna’s prescription 5 hours ago.”
“Jim-”
“You were at the bar weren’t you? Fuck Leonard, I’ve told you that if you so much as touched that stuff again we are through.”
“Dammit Jim, I needed-”
“Excuse me? You needed what, Leonard? You needed alcohol more than your daughter needed her insulin? Is that where your priorities lie nowadays? You’d rather reach for the bottle over reaching out to me for help?”
“Fuck, Jim, you don’t understand!”
There was a loud crash from the living room, and Joanna hugged her blankets tighter around her.
“Leonard, you need to calm down, or you are going to wake Joanna.”
“No I will not fucking calm down. You want to talk about this shit? We’ll do it now.”
Another crash, and Joanna felt tears prickle around the corners of her eyes. She had thought that since her mom and dad had separated, she would never again have to sit in her room pretending to sleep while shouts echoed throughout the house. It had been fine, for awhile, when it was just her and her father. No shouting, no broken picture frames; just silence.
Then her dad had met Jim, and things got even better; the perfect little family once again.
Until 3 years ago, when her father was involved in a medical malpractice suit: a young couple had brought their baby girl in because she was showing signs of lethargy, loss of appetite and was unable to keep her head supported, despite being 7 months old. Leonard initially considered child abuse, for the infant was showing signs of shaken baby syndrome, but brushed it off when he saw that her condition started to improve during her hospitalization. 6 months later, he received documents from a lawyer saying he was being sued for not reporting the abuse to social services, for the child had died a few weeks after being seen by Leonard.
The case eventually settled, and Leonard was able to keep his license, but the hospital saw it as bad publicity and he ended up losing his job.
Things started going slowly downhill from there. Leonard wasn’t able to find employment due to the lawsuit, and would be gone for hours at a time and come home late into the night, and some nights he wouldn’t even come home. Joanna would hear Jim in the master bedroom sobbing quietly, and her heart would ache for him.
Joanna always preferred those nights to the ones where her father actually came home at a decent hour. At 15, she knew whether or not her father had been drinking; he would always be a little too nice around her, and would tell her stories about all the times he fucked up throughout the years, pulling a life lesson out of it for her. She would always dismiss herself as politely as possible, and shut herself in her bedroom, and that was when the fighting would start. It would always start quietly, a few nagging remarks, until Leonard wouldn’t be able to keep his voice hushed or his temper under control. Joanna would put on her headphones and turn her music up full blast so she wouldn’t have to hear the shouting or the crashing.
Tonight was no different, but Joanna had left her headphones on the island in the kitchen. She laid in her bed, willing them to stop, with all of her heart.
“It wasn’t your fault Len! I know it’s hard to lose your job-”
“Oh, you know how hard it is? Do you really? I’m the fucking laughing stock here. I can’t go out without someone pointing and whispering.”
She heard them moving out of the kitchen towards the back of the house, and the house shook as Leonard slammed their bedroom door shut.
The voices were muffled now, and Joanna took this as her chance to make a run for her headphones.
She quietly slipped out of her bed, inched open her door, and walked quickly towards the kitchen. She saw that the vase that sat next to the television was in pieces on the floor, and there was a broken mug in the sink.
Joanna sighed as she grabbed her headphones. She was about to head back to her bedroom, when she heard a door open. Thinking quickly, she ducked down behind the island.
“Leonard...I don’t know what you want me to do. I’ve tried….I really have. But I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” Joanna could hear the pain in Jim’s voice.
“No, Jim, please, please don’t give up on me-”
“I’m sorry Leonard. I just-I think you need to leave.”
“Jim..”
“Please. Just go Leonard.”
No , Joanna thought. No, Dad don’t leave, I haven’t given up on you.
Joanna heard her father sigh, and the front door open. She could feel the
“I would have followed you anywhere Bones, but down this path...it’s the one place I can’t go with you.”
“I know Jim.”
Before she could think about it, Joanna ran from behind the counter and out into the chill of the night.
She ignored Jim, who had followed her outside calling her name; she was only set on reaching her father before he could leave. She reached the car just as Leonard shut the door.
“No, Dad don’t leave! NO! I need you! Please! Please stay!” Joanna screamed, banging her fist on the window. “You bastard, don’t leave me like Mom did!”
But Leonard just put the car into reverse, ignoring her. Panicking, Joanna tried to open the door, but strong arms pulled her from the vehicle.
“No, Jim...please. Daddy!” Joanna cried, trying to pry herself from Jim’s grip. Realizing she couldn’t get away, she turned and pressed her cheek into Jim’s chest, clutching at his shirt as she watched her father’s taillights disappear over the horizon.
“Oh, baby. You were supposed to be asleep.” Jim’s voice broke as he squeezed Joanna tight.
“He didn’t even say goodbye.” Joanna whimpered. “At least Mom said goodbye.”
Jim was silent as he let her cry into his chest, gently stroking her back. Joanna could feel his tears falling onto her head, and she wrapped her arms around him.
“We’ll be okay, Jo-Jo. We’ll be okay…”