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Pete knew he was Damian.
In a way he always had known. Ever since he had woken up in an alley with no recollection of who he was and why he was there. He had this weird feeling every time he heard of the Bats and the Birds.
He constantly felt some sort of longing for them. Pete had thought that it was just some kind of hero worship. That maybe before he lost his memory, he admired them. Maybe it had even been them that had put Damian in that alley with money and warm clothes.
But he was never sure.
And he never wanted to make sure.
It was just... that not knowing who you were, made him feel vulnerable. He was scared and that was why he avoided thinking about it in the first place. People thought that his attitude and the way he didn't talk much was because of some tragic past.
Pete could never have been sure whether that was the case or not, though he never did correct them.
He had known that he couldn't have ignored the matter for too long. There was a void that needed to be filled. He felt this constant scratching in his mind. A feeling that something important was missing, that he was wasting time in the streets trying to survive. That he should do something else, something more...more meaningful.
Even though Pete... no Damian, didn't know he who he was, he still did.
So when he met the Red Hood, he felt something he never had before. Pete had never felt before. He wanted to punch and hug the Hood at the same time.
That was scary. Very scary.
The way Red Hood reacted to him scared him even more.
However suddenly everything made SENSE.
He still couldn't remember being Damian, except for the fact that he knew he was him.
But he was scared.
Terrified even.
Had Damian Wayne been a good person? Should he be Damian Wayne again? Was he even able to become Damian again?
Did he want to be become Damian again? (He had avoided the matter for so long because he just wasn't sure)
He had been Pete-with-no-surname for 5 months now. He had been Pete that always kinda knew he was Damian but then again didn't for 5 months now.
Could he change back? And how should he manage that in the first place?
Pete-Damian doesn't know.
-
"Oh my God, kid, chill. Nobody's out to kill ya. It's just some chilli-dogs. If you want something more refined you should've eaten in the manor."
"I am not stupid, Hood. Of course the chilli-dogs won't kill me."
Pete-Damian was living in the manor now, but he prefered being out in Crime Alley, or just outside in general.
The manor was warm and comfortable. The manor felt like home.
But at the same time, the manor was too cold and strange for him. It felt nothing like home. Or rather it felt too much like home, that he couldn't bear being there. That he couldn't breathe in there.
That place was not Pete's. It was the home of a (probably) long dead boy.
Damian Wayne had been living in that place, calling it his home and Pete was not Damian (even if he kind of was).
He didn't want to disappoint anyone. He wanted to be Damian. At the same time he didn't.
He was scared losing being Pete.
"Whatever, eat. I mean I am paying and all, I wouldn't dare to hope to hear a thank you from you or anything, brat."
The Hood never called him Damian, he also never called him Pete. He had been the person complaining and insisting that he had a name, however he would never call him by his name or not-name ("which is it, child?" A voice in his head stared asking him quite a while ago. The voice of a woman). To him he was just 'kid' and 'brat' (sometimes 'demon spawn'.)
And he realized that the Red Hood understood his feelings. They never talked about it (because he started to understand that talking was not in anyone's nature in that family) Pete just felt that he did.
Red Hood, Jason Todd, was another person than the Robin he had been before, the Robin that had called the manor his home. Now he was some other Jason Todd who was still Jason Todd, only that the manor was not his home anymore.
That's when he realized that he didn't need to lose Pete (his not-name, or was it his name?- "which is it, child?").
He could just be Pete-Damian. Be the same person but at the same time not.