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Lingering

Summary:

For once he wasn’t just some bastard child trying to fight his way into acceptance in a cruel world… he was just a teenager here on a date with his boyfriend wearing dumb matching ears and taking way too many selfies.

-Or-

Where Akechi Goro accepts happiness into his life.

Notes:

This fic was incredibly fun to write. I can't believe how much joy it brought me while writing it. I will give ample warning, this piece is just my cup of tea, which should tell you a lot if you are familiar with my work. Please note the bittersweet tag.

I want this to be a wild ride so tagging properly is a bit impossible sadly.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 Something was... very off here.

 Nothing felt quite right. Like he was vaguely missing out on some very important details that were glazed over in his mind. He wasn't absolutely sure of anything right now, but he was positive that he wasn't supposed to be at Leblanc at 7am on a cold March morning getting served coffee by the former leader of the Phantom Thieves.

 Absolutely not.

 But here he was, sitting in his usual seat, getting a warm cup of freshly brewed coffee that thawed his fingers. It was neither too sweet for his taste nor too bitter. Not that he had much taste for it in the first place, but if he could call it good, he would. Not that he would ever, at least out loud. At least not of his own volition, not that strongly.  

 Everything about the situation was odd, indeed.

 "Well?" Kurusu's voice cut through his thoughts and he smiled softly, nodding.

 "It's fine." He replied evenly, placing the cup down, musing over the reaction he received from the dark haired boy across from him. A mix of relief and satisfaction.

 "Good, I'm glad to hear that."

 “You make it the exact same way every time, correct? If I said it was fine in the past, why would you need confirmation from me that your brew is adequate?” He quipped, taking another sip before supporting his chin on his hand, waiting to gauge a reaction.

 “Because I really enjoy you almost complimenting me, I guess.” Kurusu’s tone was airy, filled with light banter.

 He leaned over the counter, no hesitation in invading Goro's personal space. He felt his cheeks flush and backed up a little, those grey eyes intense under a veil of thick eyelashes. His heart raced momentarily, and not from the small amount of caffeine that was waking him up. He backed up a bit, not out of discomfort but surprise.

 "Sorry, sorry." Kurusu waved his hand gently. "I should have asked."

 Things definitely didn't add up.

 "It's fine." The tips of his ears were warm, and he was grateful his hair covered them. This already was frustrating him. The last few months were so hazy, everything happened so fast it was almost a blur. Even now he couldn’t quite recall very many details, maybe because it was so early in the morning and the coffee hadn’t kicked in yet. Regardless he was still getting used to their new… arrangement. Their arrangement leading him to waking up in Kurusu’s arms this morning. It felt… habitual, like he did this often but never at all at the same time. Like, waking up this morning in someone else’s arms was not normal at all but it was comfortable. He couldn’t even try to deny that fact, but the steps leading up to this… trying to think back to situations and conversations were nothing but just sketches of memories, nothing in full spectrum. But Kurusu was acting like it was the most natural thing in the world.

 Even so it felt... nice.

 He didn't want to question it.

 It was no real secret, from him anyway, that he got too deeply involved with Kurusu before realizing what exactly fate had in store for them both. People like him didn't deserve any shred of happiness, he was too far gone by the time the right person walked into his life but...

 That person didn't want to give up on him it seemed. It was unfamiliar territory. But there was no backlash or cruel words to rebuttal his initial questions this morning. Temperance and assurance were what he received, even though he didn’t feel he deserved them.

 He didn't know if he wanted to throw up or cry when he heard that this morning. Luckily he did neither, even when Kurusu had just held him close, like he wasn't going to let go. Like he was fond of him or something.

 He hadn't felt that from another human being in a very long time. He had missed it.

 Even if things didn’t seem quite right to him. Kurusu calling him his boyfriend definitely sounded foreign to him but… as of now he was still in the accepting stages.

The boy behind the counter started tidying up before checking his watch as Goro continued to drink in the warmth of his coffee, and this feeling that resided in his chest.

"Ah, we have to go if we're going to make it in time."

 He blinked slowly at him, checking his own watch. It was still pretty early.

 "And what, may I ask, are we not going to make it in time for?" He asked, knowing full well whatever it was going to be was going to surprise him for sure.

"It's a secret." Kurusu winked at him, his finger pressed to his lips. Quickly he started untying his apron, hanging it up on the designated knob. "Should I put your coffee in a to-go cup?" Goro nodded and handed it over, watching the other boy write his name on the sleeve before pouring the contents of his mug into it.

 It was an unsettling image, doubt creeping in the back of his mind, but he tried to ignore it. Someone writing his name just to do it. It couldn't have belonged to anyone else and yet still... he took the time to write his name.

 It was... nice actually.

 Kurusu handed it to him, their fingers brushing lightly in doing so. It was enough to give him a small jolt of warmth, which once more lit his face up.

 This was embarrassing.

 But Kurusu didn’t laugh at him. He just checked his watch again and sighed. “I’ll be right back, let me grab my bag.” Goro nodded at him and got up as well. It was still brisk outside, the chill of winter not yet fading from the air. He didn’t do very well with the cold, his apartment always had poor circulation which caused him to use his space heater far more often than he would care to admit.

 As he waited, he glanced down at the hot sleeve of the coffee Kurusu had given him, his name written boldly, with an obnoxious heart right next to it.

 He gripped the cup tighter…

 Really embarrassing.

 He heard clambering upstairs and turned around, facing the stairway as Kurusu came down with his bag and two scarves. “Here.” He wrapped one around Goro’s neck and offered him a sweet smile. His grip tightened even more on the cup. The urge to get him away from such a vital area was bit back by a returning smile.

 “Thank you.” He mumbled, adjusting it with his free hand as he watched Kurusu put his own on. This wasn’t a fight, this wasn’t his enemy anymore. As weird as that felt to come to terms with, it still was an instinct he was used to relying on when someone put their hands anywhere near his vitals. It was a hard habit to shake. Even now, as they were… dating.

 Kurusu motioned for him to follow, Goro relenting and a half a step away from him. Swiftly the dark haired boy locked the cafe up and put the key in his bag.

 “Well, shall we?” He grinned at him. There was nothing good about that grin. It was now very obvious he was up to something that was going to be uncomfortable.

 “I don’t know, where are we going exactly?” He asked, keeping up with him, toe for toe.

 “The station.”

 He rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Oh wow, I had no idea.”

 “You’re a piss-poor detective then.”

 That earned an elbow in Kurusu’s ribs, which caused him to choke on the laugh he was in the middle of.

 “Ow, ow I take it back.”

 “To think, the most dangerous criminal in all of Japan, reduced to apologies after one nudge.”

 “I think it’s because I’m weak to you, Mr. Detective Prince.” Suddenly a hand reached out, not to grab him or hit him, just held out to him. A silent offering… Goro didn’t take it, at least, didn’t until it started to fall away from him.

 He had never seen Kurusu smile so widely before. And he was the one who made that happen… him. This worthless burden. Well, maybe not so worthless anymore. This person, whose fingers were now tangled with his own, chose him… somehow, someway. It was almost too good to be real.

 They boarded the train going towards Nagatacho Station and Goro had no idea where they were headed to. It was still pretty early, most places weren’t open but, luckily they seemed to have missed the morning rush. Kurusu’s fingers were laced with his own. When he realized it, it made him grip tightly to his coffee. Getting off at Nagatacho, Kurusu pulled out his phone, looking for directions to the next line, not once letting go of his hand.

 “So do you mind now if I ask where you are taking me?”

 “Yup, I absolutely do. Keep an eye out for the Yurakucho line, will ya?” Towards Shin-Kiba, hm? He let out a sigh and ended up leading Kurusu there instead.

 “I guess I forget sometimes you’re not from around here. You’ve always been taking the JL?” He said, taking a sip of his coffee before it went too cold. He wished he had brought his gloves but… luckily Kurusu’s hand was warm.

 “Yeah… I’m not used to metro lines.”

 “I can tell. Come on.”

 From there, Kurusu took the lead in their little dance. He had a sinking suspicion where they were going but he didn’t say anything as they grabbed a seat.

 “It’s going to be a long ride, sorry. That’s why I wanted to go early.”

 He offered a nod in return and settled into his seat. Quietly he watched the blur of colors go by. It was almost spring, the cherry blossoms would be blooming soon. Maybe they could see them together, if Kurusu was interested in that sort of thing.

 This was… difficult to get used to. Before, anywhere he went he was stopped and talked to by all kinds of people, but since they all defeated the giant god together it had stopped. Like no one really remembered he existed. But really, the need to be loved by everyone around him was just a desperate wish he clung to, to keep his sanity. If he could charm the public, he really thought he could substitute close personal relationships for the fickle opinion of strangers. It turned out it couldn’t compare to the real thing. The real thing was holding his hand right now with no intentions of letting go, even if their palms were getting a bit sweaty from the contact. It was warm and comfortable.

 It was probably the best he had felt in years.

 Or ever.

 “Ah this is it.”

 From there Kurusu promised there was only one more transfer and it would be short. Goro didn’t mind really, this was actually pretty relaxing. It seemed Maihama was their final stop. He didn’t recognize the area, knowing full well they were kind of far from Tokyo now.

 It was only then that Kurusu let go of Goro’s hand. He didn’t mind very much. He trailed behind Kurusu and looked around at the station mall they were in.

 “So are you going to ever explain?”

 “Just a little longer.” Kurusu turned to him and grinned again. “I promise you’ll love it.. well maybe. You may hate it too.”

 Comforting. He thought, a slight grimace creasing his brows. He quickly finished his coffee and found a trash can…

 He threw the to-go cup away but slid the sleeve with his name on it in his pocket for now before catching up with Kurusu again.

 Once outside the station, cold wind hit them almost instantly, making Goro tighten his scarf. Now he really regretted not bringing gloves.

 “Where now?”

 Kurusu check his phone and started leading the way, his right hand dangling, unoccupied. He took a deep breath before reaching out for it once again. It was a perfect fit.

 “My hands are cold.” He stated blankly.

 Kurusu turned to look at him. “I didn’t ask.” His voice was soft and reassuring.

 Soon they seemed to have reached their destination. Or at least the sight of their destination. A mountainous volcano stood tall and towering over a body of water in the direction they were headed. He jumped slightly when it erupted with fire as they made their way closer. He could make out buildings and other structures that were jovial and brightly colored.

 “Did you really bring me-“ He breathed out as Kurusu cut him off.

 “DestinySea. Have you ever been?” Gray eyes met his own and he frowned and shook his head.

 “Well after today you can say you have.” Like an excited kid, Kurusu dragged him towards the line.

 “Isn’t this expensive?” He whispered.

 “Not really, Haru helped me out actually.” So he really… planned this. His chest tightened in response, trying to think of something witty to say.

 “Using your associates to help you score a date?”

 “Oh, glad you think this is a date too.”

 That backfired. Luckily Kurusu didn’t see his face since it was his turn to get tickets. What a pain. Who knew he could be so insufferable. Well… Goro knew, he just chose to ignore it most times. This still felt easy, like this was… normal somehow.

 “Goro!” He heard his first name be called, his heart racing faster than his pace as he walked over to his… boyfriend?… who was waving his hand in the air like some idiot. They made it through the bag check and soon were on the interior of the park with maps of the area. Kurusu was almost too excited about this.

 Akira was almost too excited about this.

 “We should probably grab passes first for big rides. Do you like roller coasters?” Akira asked him, trying to pinpoint some of the more popular attractions on the map while they stood by a giant globe water structure that rippled like the surface of the real ocean.

 “I actually don’t know.” He laughed softly and shook his head. “Never been on one.”

 “Hah me neither.” Akira beamed at him. “Come on, let’s go grab a pass for this one first.” He pointed on to map and Goro instantly felt what little smile he was wearing fall.

 “Tower of Fright? That sounds horrible.” He wrinkled his nose a little but Akira folded up the map and would hear none of it.

 It was a weekday during school hours, now that Goro was thinking about it, it was a little odd that Akira chose this day of all days to come but considering how popular DestinySea was, it may have been the best call, seeing as the crowds weren’t too bad for such a beautiful day out. Both of them were skipping class though.

 He’d think about that later.

 On the way over, they passed several food stands and shopping areas. Everyone around them was smiling and laughing, wearing curious animal ears and carrying, what Goro assumed, was mascot character plushes for DestinySea. It was like it’s own little world in here.

 They approached the area for the tower and Goro found himself looking it up and down multiple times. It was… massive to say the least. The exterior was run down looking, discolored bricks and tacky molding really giving the sensation that whatever they were going to walk into was going to be… well as dangerous as an amusement park could get. Nothing like going into Palaces alone.

 He heard screaming and saw flashes of green lighting strike across the windows of the ride.

 “No way.” He knew what happened on it, they dropped from the very top to the very bottom and that did not sound like fun at all.

 “Come on, it’ll be fun.” Akira offered him his arm and he snaked his own around his.  They ended up getting passes that allowed them in right away. What a lucky break. Everything was going so well. It was still a little wait for them but once they went through the incredibly strange story behind the ride, the ride itself was… quite fun. Even if the story behind the ride was incredibly corny, the elevator ride itself made his stomach twist in ways he hadn’t expected. It wasn’t just a straight drop from the top to bottom, it was a constant building up and dropping down ride. He was still feeling knots in his stomach when he got off, but it was exhilarating.

 “I never want to do that again.” Akira said softly, his face pale as he slowly walked away from the ride beside him, albeit at a much slower pace than he was keeping. Goro laughed. For someone who was so excited about it before, he sure didn’t seem to thrilled.

 “What, you didn’t like falling?”

 Akira shook his head. “Only for you really, any other falling is just horrible.”

 He was way too good at that, turning the conversation back on him. It had happened far too many times today, he felt blood rushing to his face and he shoved Akira lightly. “Shut up.”

 It was in that moment though, that his eyes caught slate gray ones staring at him. Without his glasses on, his gaze was unfiltered, intense. This time he didn’t back down from it. He didn’t exactly know how long Akira stood there, gazing into his face, not probing, not trying to figure something out or search his soul… just staring at him. His breath caught in his throat.

 “What?”

 The contact broke and he already missed it. Akira shook his head, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

 “Ah nothing, I was just looking.”

 At what?

 “Hey, are you getting hungry? We didn’t eat this morning.”

 Now that he mentioned it, he was a bit hungry now that his stomach had loosened itself up from the elevator ride.

 “Everything here is nice enough to go on your food blog.” He hummed, the mood from earlier completely gone. Goro scowled a little and settled for adjusting his scarf instead of glaring at Akira.

 “And how, exactly, do you know that I have a blog?”

 “Didn’t until just now.”

 This boy made him sloppy. This would not do, now it was war.

 Really this was the most fun Goro had had in a while. He would have to find a way to knock Akira down a peg or two.

 After he took pictures of his food and they ate, though Goro only ate half of what he picked out and Akira polished off the rest, they walked around a bit more. It was a really relaxing day, the sun not too bright but peeking out enough for him to remove the scarf. Akira was incredibly insistent on them taking pictures of just about everything, but it never annoyed him. In fact, just the opposite, it was a refreshing change of pace for someone to want him around. Any chance Akira got to take selfies with him near some attraction or statue of mascots, he took. At some point, someone offered to take pictures of them together and Goro made sure to get it on his phone as well.

 But one thing was really starting to aggravate him.

 “Ears.”

 Akira looked up from his phone and blinked hard at him in confusion.

“Ears?”

 “Right, ears, glad to hear that your’s work.” He slid his phone into his pocket and pointed around at a group of people wearing soft round bear ears in their hair. Mascot items.

 “Oh…” Akira nodded in understanding, ignoring the jab Goro threw at him playfully.

 “Want to go in the store and-“

 Might as well, everyone else was doing it, there had to be some reason for it. He was already pulling out his map to see where they could be found. He was going to put Akira in the stupidest ones he could find.

 Akira moved closer to observe the map too, his shoulder brushing up against the curve of Goro’s shoulder, his breath very noticeable against his neck and his earlobe as he read over his shoulder. He shuddered but didn’t move away.

 “Hmm.. looks like we are close to a store. Let’s go see.” He reached around, pointing at a small icon indicating where mascot items could be bought.

 The store was cramped but Goro immediately found what he wanted. Sadly with as popular as DestinySea was, none of their mascot items were terribly… embarrassing. They were actually pretty cute. He stole a look at Akira who was already on the other end of the store, looking at the merchandise. He thought back to the Phantom Thieves. Though his time with them was short, he was able to make several observations, particularly about the one who was in this store with him. The way he moved was… agile and calculating with grace, not that he would utter that statement out loud. Joker had catlike reflexes and precision so when Goro’s eyes landed on mint green cat ears, he saw his opportunity. He leaned over, grabbing them with haste and purchased them without a second thought.

 The store was crowded and he managed to escape it without too much difficulty. It seemed items like this were really popular, the small store could barely handle the throng of people inside of it. It wasn’t too much longer though before Akira made his way out, his eyes darting around before finally making eye contact with him. He let out a visible sigh of relief and rushed over to him, a small bag in his hand.

 “What, thought you lost me?” He asked coyly, hiding his own bag out of view. Akira’s smile fell just a bit before he shook his head and painted a grin on his lips. Weird.

 “Nah, that place was kinda hectic though.” He shook the bag in his hand, gripping it tightly like it was a treasure.

 “Well you survived, congratulations. Nothing seems to get rid of you.” He was now rocking on the balls of his feet, the anticipation almost killing him.

 “Nope, I guess not.”

 “Well you get a reward for surviving. Close your eyes.” He could barely keep his voice calm, he was ready to see Akira embarrassed. He was sure it was a cute look on him, but his mind could only imagine so much.

 Akira obeyed without question and he seized his opportunity to pull the Belatoni ears out of the bag and push them on his head. The mint cat ears were pronounced against his dark curls. He quickly pulled out his phone and snapped a picture before telling him he could open his eyes and turned the camera on selfie mode so Akira could see himself.

 He could see a pink flush creep into Akira’s expression, his cheeks stained ever so slightly and his eyes averted the camera.

 Cute.

 He grinned, marking this down as a complete success. That grin turned into a small laugh, which in turn became a bigger laugh. Akira’s face grew darker as Goro’s laugh grew and suddenly, he felt a pressure on either side of his ears as something was slid on his own head.

 He opened his russet eyes, wiping away moisture that was collecting in the corners and brought his hands up to touch his head. Soft and fuzzy…

 Looking back at Akira he saw his own reflection, Akira’s phone showing him himself with big, fuzzy light brown ears with a big red bow in the middle.

 Bear ears?

 They were pretty cute too actually.

 “Your reward.” Akira mumbled, moving the phone away and adjusting the cat ears on his head.

 Now they both looked ridiculous. But he didn’t care as much, and Akira didn’t seem to either after the initial surprise.

 “It matches your hair almost perfectly you know.” Akira said as they decided to go venture for another ride.

 “And you look positively embarrassing.” He was quite proud that he was able to catch Akira off guard like that, like he won his little battle. He snickered under his breath when the other boy huffed in response. It was actually pretty amusing, fitting in like this in this little world away from reality. It was almost as if… none of the bad stuff in the past happened. For once he wasn’t just some bastard child trying to fight his way into acceptance in a cruel world… he was just a teenager here on a date with his boyfriend wearing dumb matching ears and taking way too many selfies.

 Going around the park some more, they soon realized that Akira’s biggest weakness was roller coasters, at least at first. He seemed to get a better tolerance as the day wore on. When they sat down for yet another meal they split, Akira took the opportunity to hold his hand again and talk about the park. It was nice. This was extremely relaxing.

 They walked around the waterway in the very middle of the center, watching a parade float by on boats. Apparently the theme of this venue was ‘Wishes’.

 “That’s cheesy.” He leaned up against the gated wall separating the water from the land and Akira joined him, their shoulders brushing up against each other.

 “What is?”

 “Wishes. It’s so generic.” He smiled though, knowing very well what he was wishing for.

 “Everyone’s got them though, so it’s easy to market.”

 He stole a glance at him, noticing the downturned corners of his lips, his eyes glazed over and distant..

 He sighed and tried to look where Akira was looking, seeing nothing too interesting on the horizon. By now the sun was directly overhead but still obscured by clouds. His mind wandered back to the topic at hand before he turned his head to Akira.

 “I suppose you’re right. It is an easy way to sell things.” Goro let out a sigh, leaning ever so slightly on Akira’s shoulder as he shifted his weight to ease up on his feet that were already starting to hurt from hours of walking.

 “You know what my wish is?” It was then that, again, their eyes met. Again his breath caught in his lungs. He wanted to ask but he couldn’t find the words to ask.

 “I wish this day would never end.”

 He felt a smile toy at his lips and he let out a soft laugh. “That’s funny… that’s my wish too.”

 In that moment, the world could have collapsed around them and he wouldn’t have cared. In that moment, all that mattered was the person in front of him, staring at him with an unhinged passion radiating off of him, threatening to burn him alive. He would welcome it. His heart was hammering loudly in his chest, he could barely hear any noise from the park. Right now, all he wanted to do was stay with Akira. And Akira wanted the same. Funny how that worked out, how someone like him could be in this position, right now, finding love where he least expected.

 Akira reached out his hand to him and he gladly took it.

 “Good thing the day is still young, yeah?” That smile was almost enough to blind him.

 “Right.”

 But they didn’t move. He stared quizzically and Akira took a small step closer to him.

 “I… wasn’t going to ask this now but…” He said, slowly with uncertainty Goro had never heard in his voice before now overshadowing any confidence Akira had earlier in the day.

 “Ask?” They were close, very close, he wanted to back up but he forced his feet where they were.

 “Ahh…” Akira turned his face away, inhaling deeply and exhaling very slowly. “Can I… kiss you?”

 He felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, his jaw clenched to keep his racing heart from escaping out of his mouth. He swallowed it back down.

 Kiss him? They were… dating he supposed, but they hadn’t gotten that far. The only thing running faster than his heart rate was his mind, trying to come up with any logical conclusion about why Akira would be asking him that. He had the opportunity to just do it, why didn’t he just take it? Why ask?

 Apparently, in his frenzy, Akira took it as a signal that he couldn’t. He took a step back, letting go of his hand and fixed his bangs with shaking fingers.

 “Sorry, that was sudden, don’t worry about i-“

 Goro’s lips on Akira’s broke his sentence off, warm and pressing. He trailed his fingers down his arms and firmly grabbed hold of Akira’s hands, their grasps again entangled for the thousandth time that day. Goro’s whole world slowed down and darkened as he closed his eyes, as if keeping them closed would insure that the moment never ended. Akira’s lips were soft and damp, comforting. He must have surprised him at first, but now there was a returning warmth to lips as he was kissed back. The twists and flips his stomach did now were far more extreme than any roller coaster he had been on yet today. Slowly, Akira pulled away, or maybe he did first. He forgot how to breathe during the duration of the kiss, which must have been just seconds so the air filling his lungs was welcoming, but the pressure was already missed.

 Both of their faces were now flushed but their hands firmly stayed clasped together.

 The smile that Akira had given him earlier was nothing compared to this one he wore now.  This shone brighter than any star he had ever observed, brighter than the sun could ever be. And he knew the one that he had on his face was the exact same. A perfect match.

 The awkward silence between them broke through soft chuckles and coy glances at each other.

 It took a few minutes to calm down but they decided to try another ride. This one they didn’t luck out on and the wait was a bit long but Akira decided to buy them ice cream while they waited for the volcano ride. The taste of the ice cream did not detract from the lingering sensation of their kiss on Goro’s lips. They occupied their time by taking pictures and videos of each of them trying out the cold treats and getting into a debate over which was more appealing, fruit flavors or chocolate. Akira chose the latter for the taste, Goro choosing the former for the looks.

 “It photographs better than chocolate desserts.” Goro huffed, pushing the rest of his ice-cream into his mouth.

 “You know for someone who didn’t talk about having a food blog, you sure are discussing it a lot.” Akira crumbled up the wrapper and put it in his bag. Wait.. did he annoy him by talking about it? He frowned and chewed on the pink wafer shell of the strawberry dessert. He wasn’t sure…

 “It’s good.” Akira continued, rummaging around in his bag still. “I’ll have to look at it sometime, I bet you know all the good spots to eat.”

 So he wasn’t annoying him. A small bit of tension he was feeling dissipated in an instant.

 “Yeah, I’ll have to show you.” He checked his phone to pull up his blog, but the flashing red light of his battery caught his attention.

 “Ah, we’ve been taking so many pictures, my battery is almost dead already.” He pouted, disappointed that he didn’t even think to bring a portable pack, even though he didn’t know what the day had in store for them.

 “That’s fine, mine’s dying too, I brought chargers.” He placed one in Goro’s hand and took the wrapper from his ice cream and put it in a small pocket of the bag. He had really thought of everything.

 He thanked him and put the pack in his pocket, brushing up against the hot coffee sleeve from earlier.

 He forgot that was there. Really it was stupid it was to hold onto something like that but… he really wanted to. Today had been full of such great things and it was already over halfway done. He was going to keep everything that reminded him of it. He was never one for collecting things like this, sentimental items that really were garbage but… there was always time to start.

 He showed Akira his blog and Akira followed it almost immediately. It was strange to consider, he always used food as a conversation piece, a way to talk to people and connect. He never had to do that with Akira, now that he thought about it. He hadn’t really used food as a way to strike up conversation between them. Their exchanges always were… comfortable and easy. He really could just tell him anything without having to force knowledge of some hole in the wall eatery to keep the conversation alive.

 The ride was a lot of fun once they got onto it, it was kind of slow paced at first that would quicken up and reel down to barely any movement at all and repeat. It almost felt like they were inside some rocky mountain filled with creatures. Of course, Goro found it interesting to see beyond the visuals and look at the mechanics that they couldn’t completely disguise with the scenery. But the giant monster at the end surprised both him and Akira and they both jumped before the coaster zoomed off into the tail end of the ride.

 This was a lot more pleasant than infiltrating Palaces. He could really see them coming back here often.

 The day was starting to wear on into evening but Akira showed absolutely no signs of exhaustion, even though his own feet were really starting to ache. They stopped to rest for smoked chicken legs by a rainforest type area before getting up again to take more pictures in the waning sunlight.

 “There’s going to be a firework show later.” Akira commented, pulling out the map to look for the time. “Soon actually, once the sun sets.” Goro nodded, wiping his hands off on the wet napkin the park provided.

 “What should we do in the meantime?” They had been on most the rides already and seen most the sights. Off in the distance, a child was pressing a wand up to a statue of a DestinyLand mascot, making the entire figure dance with an orange color. It caught both of their attention in the fading light.

 “Wanna do that?” Akira asked.

 “What is it?”

 “A wand to collect wishes.”

 He rolled his eyes but… he didn’t say no either.

 A few minutes later, he walked out of another cramped store with a ridiculous plastic wand, the head shaped like the main DestinyLand Mascot.

 “So I guess you just go up to one of the statues and press the wand to it.” Akira explained, reading the directions before folding them away in his pocket.

 “And then all my wishes come true?” He laughed, sarcasm heavy in his voice.

 “You won’t know until you try.” Either way it was a good way to kill time until the firework show. He was actually really looking forward to that. He wondered if this is what childhood was like for kids that weren’t like him. They would go to theme parks with their families and marvel over the lights and ride the roller coasters. They would be nervous talking to princes and princesses that roamed the parks and cry when they had to leave.. He wondered if they realized how lucky they were to have the opportunity.. He was envious but at the same time… he was here now and he was here with Akira. And that was the best thing he could ask for. Collecting wishes was useless to him, he had everything he could have wanted right here, right now. Even the kiss from earlier was still fresh on his lips, like it had happened moments ago. He was already looking forward to the next one.

 They made their way around the park, pushing the wand up to the statues to watch the dazzling colors swish up like it was infected with some sort of magic. There were seven total, each one was a different color and represented a different theme. It had been a great way to pass time. When they were  finished all of them the sun had completely set. Akira had been quiet throughout most of the wandering around, offering small comments here and there but the silence wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t jarring or nerve-wracking.

 Hand in hand, they were walking back to the very center where the show was going to take place on the water that ran through the park.

 Akira stopped for a second, the interruption in their pace caused a tug on Goro’s hand before he stopped as well.

 “Can you… do me a favor before we go to see the fireworks?”

 “Depends on what it is.”

 “Can you send me the pictures you took today?” That was a strange request. They had been together all day, taken pretty much all  the same photos, save a few food photos here and there.

 “Only if you tell me why.” He agreed, chewing the inside of his lip, a subtle surge of anxiety spreading through his veins.

 “I’m going to make something with them. Don’t worry, I won’t start a blog and steal your photos if that’s what you’re worried about.” His boyfriend teased, but weakly. His eyes got that distant look once again but it was just momentary. Making something? Whatever it was he was sure it’d be worth it, even if he hated the secrecy of it.

 “Hmm. I don’t know.” He tapped his lips in false pondering. Akira’s jaw visibly tightened, his shoulders tensed.

 “Please, Goro.” It wasn’t a question, it was a plea. And a serious sounding one at that.

 “I was just kidding, yes I can send them to you right now if that’s what you wish.” He pulled out his phone and Akira let out a long held in sigh, obviously thankful. His body language changed immediately. He was standing up straighter, his shoulders relaxed.

 “Thank you.”

 The files were exchanged after several minutes and they continued on their way to center where several people had the same wand that Goro did. They were using it to play with a giant ship figure on the waterfront. He didn’t find the urge to join them, just resigned himself to Akira. He was going to keep his selfish wishes for himself.

 When the first firework went up, music played all around them. It was starting to get a little chilly again but Goro didn’t mind this time, he just pressed himself closer to Akira for warmth. He was always so warm. More fireworks flew into the air, twirling and spinning in intricate shapes and colors. It was stunning to watch. He had only ever had time to see fireworks a handful of times in his life but this was easily the best show he had been to. He didn’t notice when Akira’s arm moved around his waist but when he did, he found himself the happiest he had ever been. Today had been the greatest day of his life.

 He wished he could have formulated it in words as the fireworks stopped and the park began to close up. He held tight to his wand, both of them still wearing their ears. It was getting rather late now and everyone was leaving the area for the day. He wished he could turn back time and do it all over again. But there was always next time.

 When they got on the train going back to Tokyo, Akira insisted on taking more photos of him, even though they were obviously both exhausted. He hadn’t walked around like that in a long while and he could do with a hot bath and their newly habitual sleeping habits.

 “The bath house by Leblanc should still be open when we get back there, right?” He asked quietly, as to not disturb others around him.

 “Yeah… I actually have to go to Shibuya first.” At this time? He tilted his head, questioning him quietly.

 “I have to return something. It won’t take too long.” There was that distance in his voice again but before he could probe deeper, Akira began to speak under his breath about what parts of the park he enjoyed the most. Goro laughed at the sight, a young man with dark hair, gray eyes and a serious expression discussing roller coaster and foods with mint Belatoni cat ears on his head. He covered his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing too loudly. He wasn’t going to be a nuisance today, even if the day was almost over. Quietly, Akira offered to take the Buffy ears Goro was wearing and put them in his bag. He obliged, grateful as they were beginning to wear on his scalp. Akira took his off as well and put them away in his bag with the wishes wand.

 The ride back seemed much shorter than the ride there, and soon they were in familiar Shibuya. Akira promised him again it wouldn’t take long but really, he didn’t have anywhere else he’d rather be than here with him. Akira must have been more tired than he originally let on, his pace was slow and weighted. He tried questioning it but Akira said everything was fine, he was just worn out.

 But really, he was too.

 The two reached a familiar back alley near an airsoft shop, a glowing blue light stood proudly against the darkness of the hour.

 What was that?

 A door?

 He had never seen it here before.

 Outside of this glowing blue door was a small girl, long white hair almost skimming the ground. She was adorned in a dark blue dress and tapping her foot like she was waiting for something. Her yellow eyes turned towards them and widened.

 “There you are, trickster.” She shook her head and crossed her arms. “You were almost late.”

 Goro turned to Akira and frowned, his boyfriend not looking terribly  pleased to see her.

 “I’m actually not done yet, give me ten more minutes.”

 She let out a sigh and nodded. “I can only do that much. But you need to hurry. It won’t last much longer.”

 “What exactly is going on here? Who is she?” Goro asked, turning to Akira for some explanation to this child who spoke so formally and dressed like she was going to a party.

 “I… don’t want to explain that right now, I have other things to say.” He watched Akira swallow hard, his hands taking ahold of Goro’s in quiet desperation.

 “Wha-“

 “Did you have fun today?” He asked, his eyes now searching his, probing for an answer.

 He nodded numbly, still trying to comprehend exactly what was going on.

 “Are you sure?”

 “I have absolutely no reason to lie to you.” He bit his lip, his mind slowly reeling.

 Things didn’t feel right again. The haze he had been ignoring all day was all of the sudden starting to lift.

 Akira sighed deeply and nodded. “I don’t have long, I have to make this quick.”

 Wait.

 The boiler room. His cognitive self  held a gun to his head. Realization washed over him like a bucket of ice had been tossed over him.

 “I had a chance and I took it.” His boyfriend… no his… rival’s voice cut through his thoughts.

 He tried to pull his hands away but Kurusu wouldn’t let go.

 “Goro, I know this is a lot to take but.”

 “You lied to me?” He demanded, his voice colder than it had ever been.

 “Yes. I did.”

 The detective tugged on his grip once more and Kurusu let him go. He stumbled back a foot or so, his mind now completely clear. He died. He died in that room. He died on that ship. Yet here he was.

 “Goro…” Kurusu said again, calmer as he took a step forward.

 “Why?” The question was heavy with a lingering fear that outweighs the feeling of Kurusu’s lips on his, that need and want he felt earlier was a far away thought.

 “Because I love you.” His heart stopped in his chest for the second time. He couldn’t even comprehend the words, telling the other boy to repeat them.

 “I love you, Goro.”

 “No you don’t.” He snapped back, venom now fully enraptured in his shaking voice. They were all like this, every single person in his life lied to him. Why would Kurusu be any different. There was a game here, a prize to be won. There had to be some angle.

 “I have absolutely no reason to lie to you.” Desperation. Desperation parroted his own words back at him. He had no reason to?

 “This would have been easier if you just dropped him off at the allotted time. He wouldn’t have recalled it all so quickly.” The little girl chimed in and Kurusu shot her a look.

 “Then give me more time with him like this.” He demanded, Goro saw her shake her head and heard her offer an apology.

 That’s when Kurusu’s eyes lit up with a furious need.

 That was a look he recognized. That was a look he wore all of his life. The need to be acknowledged and wanted. The need to be heard. He wore that face in the boiler room where he made the decision to save the Phantom Thieves’ lives over his own. The room where they made their vow before he was shot in the head by his cognitive self and his world faded to black.

 “Did you do it?” He whispered, his whole body shaking but not from the cold of the early spring night.

 Kurusu nodded in response. “We did. He’s in jail now.” He ventured a step forward. One he didn’t retract from.

 “And why am I here?”

 “I was able to bring you back for a day. It’s complicated and I don’t have time to explain but I wanted you back and I wanted…” His words trailed off before he found his voice again. “I wanted you to have the best day of your life. I wanted to make that happen for you because no one else deserves it more.”

 These were sweet lies he wanted to believe, it was comforting, the tightness he felt in his chest clung to him. He wanted to believe those words, he wished to believe them.

 Through all the chaos racing in his mind as he was filling in the missing pieces of his memory, he found something. Some clarity, some peace in what Kurusu was telling him. It rang so vividly in his mind, shone so brightly that for once, just once, in his life and in his death, he allowed himself to  believe those words of adoration that held no ulterior motive or scheme.

 “You really did this.. for me?”

 Akira stared him straight in the eye and very firmly said-

 “Yes.”

 He didn’t  know when he started to cry, but his cheeks were warm now from the wetness that was streaming down them.

 “Goro, I love you.” Akira’s voice cracked with a strained laugh. It was hopeless and feeble sounding. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you, I’m so sorry.” His hands were on his shoulders now. “You don’t have to say it back, please, I just wanted you to know it. I couldn’t live with myself if I missed the opportunity again.”

 Warm fingers brushed away the tears that kept falling. Everything today had been so magical, so perfect. Of course it was too good to be true, but… honestly it was true. It happened to them both. He held that hand that was caressing his face so many times today. He could still feel the shape of his fingers in his own. He had smiled at so many occasions. He had kissed those lips that made him forget every bad thing that ever plagued his life… if even for a day.

 That was enough. He already knew how he felt, somewhere underneath all the insecurities was love. What was really terrifying was coming to terms with it. This silly thing that  started out as a pining crush turned into the only true, honest connection he had with someone. And fate screwed them both over for that. But there was nothing to be scared of anymore.

 Akira was mumbling his apologies as the tears of happiness he was shedding finally stopped flowing as freely, his anger drying up into some far away corner of his mind where he would never have to focus on it again.

 “Time is running out.” The girl from the door reminded them and Akira blatantly ignored her.

 “Akira.” He finally found the words he wanted to say, half of him was dreading actually speaking them.

 “You’re really insufferable.”

 Akira laughed softly and nodded. “Yeah I’ve been told.”

 “But… I’m glad I met you, even if it was too late.” He swallowed, his mouth dry as he leaned down to Akira’s ear. He choked back nausea that was eating his way up his throat and laughed gently, completely devoid of any humor.

 “I think I love you too.”

 It was probably the most honest thing he had ever said. It was liberating.

 Akira pulled him into a hug without hesitation, his shoulders shaking before pulling away from him. His eyes were rimmed with irritation but that smile he wore was dazzling.

 “Goro, can I… can I kiss you again?”

 “You didn’t have to ask.” For now, he’d put aside everything at one more shot at being happy.

 Their lips met for the second and last time, everything in his world was right for once.

 Akira stood in the alleyway long after Goro had faded back into the blue light of the Velvet Room, not wanted to leave this spot. It was only after the sensation of warm lips on his dimmed to a lingering tingle did he open his eyes. He didn’t want to, because it was acknowledgment that he was gone from his life again.

 He promised himself yesterday he wouldn’t cry until it was all over.

 It was one promise he couldn’t keep.

 He wiped his eyes before turning to Lavenza and picked up the wand that he had unknowingly dropped to the ground during their conversation. It was something he would cherish for the rest of his life. He was ashamed he even let it fall. Luckily there were no scratches on it. Another item caught his eye, a brown coffee sleeve with Goro’s name written on it. Where did it come from?

 Akira turned to Lavenza and held it up, questioning it without words.

 “He must have had it on him, he couldn’t take it with him, though. It stayed behind.” She answered, her voice calm and soft.

 He kept it? He smiled fondly at it and put it in his bag with the rest of his Treasure.

 “He did have a good time, the other wild card.” The little girl mused, clutching her book as she looked on at her trickster.

 "Yeah.. it seemed like it.” He stared at the wand before looking up at her.

 “A deal is a deal. As of tomorrow this room will be gone, please come back to see us before you leave for home.”

 Home. He almost forgot he was returning back to his parents’ house. All he could do was nod in response and pulled out his phone to skim through all the photos and videos they had taken together.

 He felt yellow eyes bore into him.

 “Thank you for doing that for him.” He whispered, barely sparing her a glance. His eyes were now glistening with more unshed tears.

 “It was our deal, now you get to say goodbye to the rest of your bonds. You should go home and try to rest.”

 He didn’t say any more words to her, knowing that if he did so, he wouldn’t be able to keep his mask together.

 These pictures were going to last him a lifetime, every single smile was so genuine. If he couldn’t have the real thing, he at least had so many images to remember him by, even if the rest of the world forgot about Akechi Goro.

 But, even if the rest of the world forgot him, Akira still had made a difference in his life, still helped him smile and feel wanted and needed. Even if he could never do that again, this would have to be enough. If only the plastic toy in his hand could actually grant wishes, he would want nothing else than to have Goro back in his life forever.

 So, in that way, he lied earlier when he told the former detective his wish. It was not that the day would never end, it was that this feeling of happiness would never end. That they could experience life together like he had succeeded in saving him in the first place. He would have to live with the knowledge of his failure forever but at least he had happy times to look back on and remember. And hope.

 He still had the lingering warmth of Goro’s lips on his own, a confirmation that his feelings were returned. He honestly didn't expect them to be. It wasn’t the important part, what was critical was that Goro knew how he felt. Everything about the day had been planning in detail, he had ample opportunities the entire month to do this, but today seemed the most suitable. Not even because he was running out of time, but waiting until the last possible day to do this was therapeutic for Akira. This way he would have nothing but pleasant memories as a send off back to the country.

 He touched his lips gently with his fingers, the feeling of satisfaction splayed on them did not diminish. He wondered if it ever would. He wished it wouldn’t. He couldn’t help thinking that if he had more time, one more chance, they could have made it work. It soothed the guilt that had been threatening to capsize him to know that even though Goro’s life was nothing but hell, Akira helped him. But more importantly, Goro helped himself, Akira just offered him a hand, Goro was the one who actually took it. That, in and of itself, was worth more than any Treasure he had ever touched, more than any heart he had ever changed. Goro changed it himself. And that’s what he would always love about him.

 Memories linger on, Love, even longer.

 Perhaps in another life they’d find each other again, maybe this time sooner. He was such a strong presence, they both were, fate couldn’t deny them that. He was sure wherever he was, he would find him again.

 Akira went back to stay one more night at Leblanc, Morgana eagerly waiting for his return.

 “You’re back!” He purred, his tail flicking in anticipation. He was sure that everyone had messaged him asking how he was and raising concern. It wasn’t like he didn’t tell them his plans. All of his friends knew what his intentions were.

 He nodded his welcome and Morgana let out a relieved sigh. His friends all understood Akira’s point of view on the situation even though there were mixed uncertainties about it. They knew he had to do this, for his own sake but more importantly for Goro’s.

 “You had fun then?” The cat asked.

 “Yeah… we did…”

 “Well, don’t be a jerk, show me everything.”

 He let out a short laugh and wiped away the built up tears that clung to his eyelashes. Quickly he sat down on the bed next to his friend and thumbed through pictures, telling  him all about his day. Morgana listened until they both fell asleep on the lumpy futon next to each other for the last time. In his dreams, visions of happiness, warmth and comfort dominated every nightmare he had been having over the last year. Those smiles and laughter were infectious and he clung to them like a lifeline, even if the person who provided them was permanently absent from his life, he would never ever leave his heart, not even in his dreams.

 It was a peaceful rest indeed.

 

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading.

DisneySea is really an incredible park, if you want to check out pictures I highly recommend it.

I really hope you enjoyed this!

My twitter is @chromiekins
My wife's is @kuronuma_aoba