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1 ~
“No. I can’t do it.”
“Sure you can, it’s easy! Trust me, Bek, I won’t drop you.”
The words do not instil Otabek with much confidence. He crosses his arms and stares down at JJ where he lies on a yoga mat in the conservatory of the Leroy family home. It’s Sunday which means no formal practice at the rink, but the two of them always find other ways to exercise and train their bodies as they gear up for their debuts in the senior division next season.
Usually they stick to simple stuff like running, cardio at the gym or lifting weights, but today, JJ had announced with a Cheshire cat grin that he had a different idea in mind.
Couple’s yoga.
If there’s one thing that Otabek hates about being an athlete, it’s all the stretching. He ditched ballet when he was thirteen for a reason; his body just physically doesn’t bend that way, and he’s grown to accept that he will never be flexible like the other skaters he competes against.
His boyfriend, however, is not so quick to accept it.
“What’s wrong with the yoga poses where I actually get to stay on the ground?” Otabek protests.
“This is good for your core, which will help you with that triple axel you’re trying to perfect,” JJ answers, knowing that Otabek will be tempted by anything that will help him improve his skating. “Also, this is more fun. C’mon!”
Otabek remains unconvinced. JJ is beaming up at him where he lies on his back, extending one lanky leg and gently kicking Otabek in the shin.
Otabek finally sighs. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Yes!”
It takes several long seconds but Otabek concedes, swayed by JJ’s frankly unfair use of puppy eyes. “Fine.”
“Okay! C’mon, baby,” JJ says, lifting his arms up and making grabby hands at Otabek. “Up, up.”
Otabek’s insides go all mushy when JJ calls him ‘baby’, lips tilting up at the corners. It gives him the last bit of confidence he needs to take JJ’s hands and lean his stomach against JJ’s feet when he lifts them in the air. With a gentle push off the ground, Otabek is lifted up completely as JJ holds him.
“Try and straighten your legs more, Bek… yep, that’s perfect!” JJ grins, and then lowers his voice an octave to sing in a soulful, melodramatic voice, “You raise me uuuuup!”
Otabek snorts. “Stop, you’re gonna make me laugh!”
His warning is for nothing though; the two of them both burst out laughing anyway and Otabek goes tumbling to the ground, landing on JJ with a thud that makes them both groan.
Otabek personally doesn’t think couple’s yoga is all that effective and he ends up with a killer bruise on his stomach for all the trouble, but he finds he doesn’t feel too bad about it when JJ kisses it better for him.
2 ~
Otabek will be the first to admit that he is not a morning person. There is no worse feeling than having to extract himself from his cosy blankets at the ass crack of dawn and into the freezing showers in his dorm, before forcing down a cup of the cheap, crappy coffee he always buys on his way to the rink.
But since he started dating JJ, Otabek’s mornings have become brighter. Easier.
He’s roused by the jarring sound of his alarm going off, and he grunts into his pillow while blindly nudging the warm, sleeping body beside him. The bed in Otabek’s dorm is only a single and it’s a very tight squeeze with both him and JJ in here but Otabek doesn’t mind; they’re both cuddly sleepers and the extra body warmth goes a long way when the dodgy radiator in his room breaks (as it does at least twenty times a month).
JJ stirs, and begins to wriggle around in bed to turn off the alarm on the bedside table behind him. Otabek allows his eyes to flutter closed again, hiding his face in the pillow and letting his drowsiness take over again.
JJ isn’t having any of it though. He’s the definition of a morning person, perky from the minute he opens his eyes and raring to start to the day. He doesn’t even need any caffeine to get him going, preferring to get up a little earlier to mix a healthy smoothie to drink instead.
Otabek tries not to hate him for it.
Warm kisses are planted over his forehead and the top of his head as JJ’s hand slides over his waist, squeezing gently.
“G’morning, sunshine,” JJ murmurs, voice croaky and thick with sleep.
The corners of Otabek’s lips turn up despite his stubbornness to wake up, and he presses closer to JJ’s warmth. He feels the tip of JJ’s nose nuzzle his hair and he sighs gently.
“Mornin’,” he mumbles without bothering to open his eyes.
JJ leans his head down, softly parting Otabek’s lips with his own and kissing him awake.
Otabek lasts a whole four seconds before the combined morning breath becomes too much to bear, screwing up his face and pulling away. “Jay, your breath in the morning could kill a horse.”
JJ only smirks. “God, Bek, I love when you talk dirty to me.”
Otabek snorts, shuffling slightly and accidentally kneeing JJ in the thigh. He’s more than happy to lie here and drift off again for another few minutes until the snooze on the alarm goes off but JJ seems to have other ideas, pulling himself upright and disturbing the beautifully cosy cocoon they’ve created overnight.
“Nooo,” Otabek whines pitifully, scrambling to take back the blankets as a rush of cool air hits him.
JJ pays him no mind, standing up and stretching his arms above his head. “C’mon, sunshine, it’s a beautiful day!”
Otabek pulls the blankets over his head as JJ begins to sing, loudly and off-key. He grumbles into his pillow, “I hate you.”
JJ laughs brightly, picking up a towel that’s slung over the back of the desk chair and heading off towards the showers. As he’s walking away he calls over his shoulder, “Just so you know, I’m not kissing you again until you brush your teeth so you better get up. My morning breath could kill a horse but yours could kill an elephant.”
A smile spreads across Otabek’s face without his consent, and he begrudgingly frees himself from his nest before following JJ out to the showers.
Fine, maybe mornings aren’t all bad.
3 ~
“Owww, fuck, careful, Beka!”
Otabek huffs from where he sits on the floor of the rink, wrapping JJ’s ankle in a bandage. “It’s not my fault you wanted to be a show-off.”
It’s half ten at night, and the two of them are the only ones at the rink. They’d been watching old Winter Olympic performances from a couple of decades ago and had started discussing how much figure skating has evolved from then, how nobody even thought a quad jump was possible during that time. That’d led to JJ getting cocky, saying that if quad jumps turned out to be doable, then why not quintuple jumps as well?
Flash forward to an hour later, after JJ had made exactly one attempt at a quintuple toe loop before landed sharply on his ankle. He’s fine; just a small sprain that needs to be bandaged and iced, but holy fuck does JJ make a meal of it.
“I don’t think I’m gonna make it, Bek,” he gasps, lying on his back and leaning up on his elbows to watch Otabek work. “There’s so much I never got to do with my life… fuck, I knew I should’ve copyrighted JJ style while I had the chance! Don’t you dare let anyone steal it after I’m gone!”
Otabek rolls his eyes. “You’re an idiot. And you’re going to be fine in a few days, you big wuss.”
“You don’t know that, Beka. You’ll be sorry when I lose the whole damn leg!”
Otabek chuckles, and finishes wrapping JJ’s ankle before helping him limp to his car. Otabek drives them both to JJ’s, helping him up to bed and giving him some painkillers to ease the ache and help get him through the night; despite it only being a small sprain, it’ll still be very uncomfortable to sleep with.
The painkillers make JJ sleepy and a little dopey, and he’s gigglier and clingier than usual (which is saying a lot).
“Beka…” he calls from the bed, watching Otabek get changed. “Bee… my little bumblebee.”
Otabek smirks as he pulls his shirt over his head. “Yes, Jay?”
“Miss you.”
“I’m right here, look.”
“Yeah, but I miss you. You’re not close enough.”
“Oh, really?” Otabek perches on the side of the bed, raising a questioning eyebrow. “Is this close enough?”
JJ pouts, looking thoroughly unamused. “No.”
Otabek shifts a few inches closer. “How about now?”
JJ groans. “You’re such a tease.”
Otabek takes pity and gives in, pressing himself close to JJ and wrapping both arms around him. JJ hums happily against the crook of his neck, draping an arm over Otabek’s waist and squeezing like a koala bear.
“Thanks, Bee,” he mumbles sleepily.
Otabek only smiles in response, stroking JJ’s hair away from his face and pressing a long kiss to his forehead.
4 ~
Otabek is hot, flustered as hell, and in all honesty the inventor of the tie can kiss his irritated ass. He pulls at the messy knot for a few seconds before yanking it undone for the sixth time, once again starting from scratch and attempting to get it right.
JJ is picking him up in five minutes, and then they’re going out to dinner with JJ’s parents. It’s official; Otabek is meeting the parents for the first time.
He’s a bundle of nerves, and he knows it’s irrational since he’s actually already met and spoken to JJ’s parents a hundred times at the rink before but this is different. At the rink, Mr and Mrs Leroy are JJ’s coaches, and it’s easy for Otabek to separate training from their personal lives. But tonight, they are his boyfriend’s protective parents and Otabek desperately wants to impress them. This dinner has to go well, otherwise what could that mean for the future of his and JJ’s relationship?
Shit, this tie still looks stupid. Does he even know how to tie a tie?! He’s suddenly lost all memory of how to carry out simple tasks.
A knock on his dorm room door pulls him out of his thoughts. “C-come in!”
The door opens and JJ’s voice appears from the other side, saying as he walks in, “Hey, did someone order a boyfriend?”
He freezes when he catches sight of Otabek, wide eyes raking over his body. Then he exhales softly, smiling at Otabek as he approaches him.
“God, Beka, you’re gorgeous,” he murmurs, cupping Otabek’s face and pulling him in for a deep kiss. It distracts Otabek enough to momentarily forget all of his insecurities and he relaxes into his boyfriend, arms sliding around his waist. JJ plants a last tiny peck to Otabek’s lips before pulling away, smiling down at him gently. “Stunning.”
Otabek’s cheeks heat up but he beams in response. “So are you. You should wear a suit more often.”
“My new training outfit,” JJ jokes, before stepping away to get a good look at Otabek. He notices Otabek’s undone tie and takes hold of both ends, tugging playfully. “Are you going for the sexy, effortlessly casual look? Because I like it.”
Otabek grunts, brushing his hands away and turning to glance in the mirror again. “I can’t get it to look right. It… must be a faulty one or something.”
He watches JJ’s reflection in the mirror and sees him suppress a smirk. “Yeah, I hear the tie store has been having a lot of problems with that recently. Malfunctioning ties all over the place.”
Otabek begins fiddling again, groaning quietly to himself when the knot gets stuck. JJ’s face drops ever so slightly and he moves to stand in front of Otabek, wearing a small frown.
“You okay, Beks?”
Otabek sighs. “Yeah, I just… I-I’m a little nervous, that’s all.”
“To go out with my mom and dad?” JJ gives him a confused smile. “You see them every day at the rink.”
“I know, but… this is different, don’t you think? What if they don’t approve of me as your boyfriend?”
JJ looks soft and sympathetic. “Beka, they already do. They love you, they’ve already started thinking of you as practically another son.”
Otabek’s eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”
“Really. They just want to take us out tonight so they can get to know you better, I promise they’re not going to interrogate you or try to put you under pressure or anything.”
Otabek nods, though he isn’t sure he’s convinced yet.
JJ sees this and places a gentle hand on Otabek’s cheek, catching his eye. “Trust me, Ädemi.”
Otabek’s head shoots up, eyes flying open as he gapes at JJ.
‘Beautiful’.
“You learned a Kazakh word for me?” Otabek asks, voice barely above a whisper.
JJ beams, obviously very proud of himself. “Yep. Learned a bunch of ‘em. Sälem, Otabek, meniñ atım JJ.”
Otabek laughs brightly, all worries about JJ’s parents disappearing from his mind. “Thank you. You’re so sweet.”
He hugs JJ tightly and kisses his cheek. JJ’s chest has puffed up, thrilled to have made Otabek so happy.
“How’s this one for sweet?” JJ says. “Beka, you’re my little Éşek.”
Otabek snorts, making JJ jump, and while he still finds it incredibly precious that JJ has been learning Kazakh for him, he can’t help but laugh at the, what he hopes, is a very unfortunate mistranslation.
“What?” JJ frowns.
“Nothing. You just called me your little donkey.”
JJ’s eyes widen and his cheeks flush pink but Otabek soothes him before he can panic, kissing away his blush.
“It’s okay,” he murmurs. “I still think it’s cute.”
They kiss again, slow and sweet.
“You ready to go?” JJ murmurs against his lips.
Otabek huffs. “My tie…”
JJ glances down at it and then pulls one end, yanking it free of Otabek’s collar and tossing it onto the floor. “I prefer the sexy casual look.”
The tension loosens within Otabek’s chest, and he takes JJ’s hand as JJ leads him out of the room.
“And hey, I don’t even know why you’re worried about getting to know my parents; they aren’t even the scariest part! You’ve still got all ten of my brothers and sisters to meet yet,” JJ jokes, before bursting out laughing at the way Otabek’s entire face pales.
5 ~
JJ is having a bad day. He doesn't say anything about it or draw attention to it in any way, and it would barely be noticeable by anyone other than Otabek and JJ’s parents, but the subtle signs are still there. Otabek has been watching him all morning; JJ has been repeating his triple flip but he keeps stepping out of the landing over and over again, his underlying frustration only seems to be making it worse.
Otabek has given him space until now, knowing that that’s more effective than bombarding him with concerned questions, but it’s gotten to lunchtime and JJ is the only skater still out on the rink, obsessively going over the same jump again and again.
When he’s gotten changed into his regular shoes, Otabek walks around the rink over to where JJ is. His boyfriend sees him coming and gives him a pained smile that looks like a grimace before skating over to him.
“It’s lunchtime,” Otabek says to him gently. “Are you coming to get something to eat?”
JJ looks apologetic. “Maybe later. I-I just wanna get this right first.”
“Jay, you’ve been going over the same jump for hours. You’re going to need a rest –”
“I’ll rest when I’m finished, Beka. I’m not gonna win gold by resting, am I?”
JJ’s tone borders on snappy and Otabek goes quiet. He doesn’t take it personally, he isn’t the one JJ is frustrated with, just waits for JJ to sort his thoughts out.
It doesn’t take long; JJ quickly releases a breath and skates to the barrier, stepping off and sliding on his skate guards. He towers over Otabek in his skates, and he has to lean down to pull Otabek into a hug.
“I’m sorry, angel,” JJ mumbles. “I didn’t mean to snap.”
Otabek melts under the pet name, holding JJ tightly for a moment before pulling away and giving him a reassuring smile. “I know. It’s okay. Do you… want to talk about it?”
JJ exhales heavily and Otabek suddenly notices the way he’s shivering the tiniest amount. His chest aches in sympathy and he rubs his hands over JJ’s waist to soothe him.
“Everything’s too loud today,” JJ admits in a quiet voice. “Everyone wants me to do well, I have to do well, but there’s so much… competition…”
This isn’t the first time JJ has been like this; it’s a recurring problem that comes with his anxiety and the fact that his budding skating career is now the main source of income for his parents and his ten younger siblings. The pressure builds up within him and will always eventually end up bursting out in some way or another.
JJ doesn’t seem to be too stressed today, not in a way that could lead to a panic attack, but Otabek still wants to help calm him down.
“I know,” he says. “But nobody is forcing you to skate right now, and overworking yourself is just going to make you feel worse. I don’t want you to end up hurting yourself, mon amour.”
JJ’s gaze shoots up from the floor, eyeing Otabek with disbelief as if he trying to check it was actually him who just spoke. Otabek smiles up at him, linking their hands together.
“You… you spoke French,” JJ says weakly.
Otabek nods. “Since you’ve learned some Kazakh for me I thought it was only fair that I returned the favour. My love.”
JJ leans down for an ardent kiss, and Otabek stands up on his tippy toes to meet him. He feels a couple of JJ’s happy tears streaking down his cheek when he angles his face but he doesn’t mind one bit.
“Beka…” JJ’s voice is still wobbly but his eyes are shining with affection. He cups Otabek’s face and strokes his cheek with his thumb. “I love you, you know that?”
Tears well up in Otabek’s own eyes and he beams up at JJ, nodding. “I do. I love you too, Jay.”
JJ comes closer again but doesn’t actually connect their lips, instead whispering, “Say it again.”
“I love you. Je t'aime.”
JJ’s trembling has subsided a small amount, and he gazes down at Otabek in wonder. Otabek just smiles, stroking a hand down JJ’s torso.
“Now, are you going to come and have lunch with me or not?”
JJ nods and hurries over to the bench to change out of his skates. Otabek breathes a small sigh of relief; JJ’s anxiety is something that he’s slowly learning how to handle and it’s not always easy, but it’s reassuring to know that he is at least able to soothe JJ to a certain extent. He might not be able to fix everything with 'I love you's', no matter what language he speaks it in, but he's more than willing to give it a try.